Chapter Six:
This is dedicated to Choogalee,a new friend of mine from AOL,and an aspiring writer *Hurry up and post your story!!!* Thanks for all your support Choo ^_^
******************************************************************************
Zell didn't bother to knock,his palm slamming into the heavy panelled door of Cid's office,pushing it forward hard enough for the frames to creak in protest.Cid looked up for his papers,an expression of startled annoyance on his creased features.He went to speak,but Zell's firm gesture cut him off like a knife.
"Why did you discharge Seifer?" He asked bluntly,forsaking any formalities or courtesy he usually displayed towards the headmaster.Cid frowned back at him,his eyes narrowing, "It wasn't my decision." Seifer piped up,entering the room to stand by Zell's side, "You said that already." He replied with a lilt of sarcasm,that old confidence seeping back into his voice.
Cid's body tensed, "Certain people in.....higher positions than myself decided that Seifer is..was a liability." He let a tiny shrug escape to his shoulders,regretting it the second his eyes met Zell's.The petite blonde boy was shaking,his high cheekbones tinged with scarlet,he spoke in a barely controlled whisper, "What.....I ask you Mr.Headmaster...has Seifer done to be a liability,besides working like a dog to become the best SeeD at this Garden...putting up with the abuse you let your students punish him with." He paused,the breath stolen from his lungs.Cid matched his students tone,any hint of flippancy long gone, "I told you,Dinct.Seifer is no longer welcome at this Garden,that is final and I'd advise you," He shifted his blazing eyes to Seifer,
(Don't like to be told the truth do you.....?......To have your power undermined by someone else.......you bastard......)
"To get off Garden property." He finished,returning to his documents.Zell cracked,his fist ramming into the surface of Cid's desk,the wood splintering,sending ornaments and files crashing to the floor.
"Don't you even care?!?" He yelled,dropping the facade of control.
Cid ignored his question.....
"Fine!....Seifer isn't your responsibility anymore......and neither am I."
(Zell! What the hell are you doing......?)
Seifer gasped,stepping back involuntarily,waiting for Cid's reaction,but Zell grabbed his arm,dragging him from the room without a word.....his anger threatening to consume them all.
Cid's voice rang out as the elevator doors swished shut,his pleas for Zell to come back falling on deaf ears.......
******************************************************************************
Seifer's faculties returned as soon as they walked out into the baking sunlight at the entrance to Garden.
"Zell." He wrenched his arm free from the martial artist's vice-like grip.
The blonde turned back,lancing him with a furious glance.Seifer's hand flicked out of nowhere,the stinging slap making Zell's cheek flush with colour.
(Wake up........Zell,you're losing it.......)
"T-thanks...." Zell said quietly,pushing the last remnants of his rage to the back of his mind.Seifer fiddled with his choker,refusing to meet Zell's eyes,a rush of guilt filling his face.
(....I just hurt him,Zell I should be thanking you.....but now we're both lost,we've both shattered our dreams.......it's like we've taken one step forward and six back......)
Seifer was just about to apologise when a familiar voice,accompanied by twin sets of footfalls approached them from behind.
"Squall....Irvine." Zell said blandly.
Squall's lips curled into a smile,overflowing with contempt, "Seifer...what are you doing here? I thought you'd been dumped." Irvine laughed,low and satisfied at Seifer's obvious discomfort, "Like the refuse you are..." Squall joined in his chorus,alerting the students around them,voyeurs to the building tension....
Zell sneered at his former comrades, "We're leaving.I don't need friends like you." Squall clapped his hands to his cheeks in mock anxiety, "what?" He raised his voice so everyone present could hear, "going to move in together are you?....has he finally found out what you are Zell?" Zell's eyes flickered from Squall to Seifer and back again.
(What is it.......Zell,what's wrong?)
Squall put a hand on his hip,angling his head to the side,regarding Zell like a fresh dog-turd, "You and lover-boy.....I bet you're gonna do it every night now!" The courtyard erupted into a sea of smiling faces,laughter filling the air.
Seifer was infront of Squall before he could even blink,his fist connected with the dark-haired SeeD's jaw,splattering blood on his pale face.Squall staggered backwards clutching his mouth, "You bastard,I'll make sure you pay for this..." Irvine nodded his head in agreement and they both stormed from the courtyard.
Seifer stood silently,his hand held out,quivering as he stared at it in disbelief.
(Did I just?......)
Zell's arms on his shoulders brought him hurtling back to reality, "Come on,let's get out of here." He led the dazed man to the gates........Seifer cast one final glance back at Garden....saying goodbye to his dream.
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(Three hours later.)
Seifer gazed up at the ceiling of his bedroom,trying to keep his thoughts superficial,not to get caught up in the prison of memories he'd escaped from once before......with Zell's help,but now.......
(Squall......was he right......is Zell only helping me because he fancies me as his latest conquest?)
What were they going to anyway? Get proper jobs? Who'd employ a temperamental martial artist and a failed sorceress' knight......world domination wasn't a good point for anyone's CV.
He shook his head,driving the nagging questions,the fears from his head.
*Knock knock*
(Zell...........)
Stumbling off his bed he entered the living room of the modest house and opened the latch on his door,caution kicking in at the last moment.
"Hello?" He called into the evening shadows.
(nothing.......)
He was about to return to quiet self-antagonism when a small piece of paper lying on the mat caught his attention.
You'll pay......soon enough along with your little blonde lover.........
Seifer's breath hitched in his throat,his body stiffening with dread and he fled inside,bolting the door,sliding down to the ground still holding the note in his trembling fingers.Something deep inside him snapped........
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Zell finished spooning the last of his makeshift dinner into his mouth,he dropped the plate onto a mound of unwashed cutlery lying discarded on the draining board.
(...I can't believe him.....)
He flipped through the television guide,lounging over the sofa and turning the widescreen on,not really paying any attention to the blur of colours and muted voices playing across the screen.
(Squall Leonheart.....he was my friend,they all were,I fought for them.... and where does it leave me......sleeping with the enemy 'literally'......)
A smile rose to his lips,he closed his eyes,invoking the scent of Seifer's body,the nerve juddering feeling in the pit of his stomach that thinking of the scarred knight conjured up.
(Wonder what he's doing now........to much to hope he feels the same way eh/ not after Squall fucked it up for us all........)
Zell ran a hand through his softly spike blonde hair,sighing heavily.He hopped off the sofa and approached the window.The sky was a ghostly lilac,slashed with thin rivulets of cerise........his eyes swept across the small town below,the tiny uniform houses,the cobbled streets,so empty in the humid evening air,the dock,edged by the raging breakers,tipped with lily-white foam....he noticed something else,panic striking at his heart as he scrambled for the door.........
(Hyne!!?!?.......no.........)
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(I shouldn't be doing this.......I'm sick,I know that,but..........)
(They're after me,again,it's never gonna go away........I'll always be running........running from the past,I've done some stupid things.......I tried,Hyne knows I wanted to be a SeeD.......my dream it's gone like blossom petals in Spring,dashed in the dirt under my feet...........)
(Zell.........it hurts,but you'll forget me..........find someone else to chase.........I'm too much trouble.......too much pain for everyone.....)
Seifer leant forward,drinking the salty breeze,as it licked his cheeks,ruffling his clothes,cooling the fever on his brow.........he pulled the knife from the folds of his jacket,turning it over in his hands,watching the metal glint in the dying rays of yesterday's sun.
(You'll all be better off without me.......)
He closed his eyes,letting himself savour the last taste of sea air,the last sounds of the waves breaking angrily against the side of the dock.....the knife point poised above his chest,held up to the skies in an offering of his sacrifice......
(..........)
"NO!" Seifer felt a pair of strong arms clamp around his waist,pulling him back from the brink,the single word so focused in it's anguish that he paused,the knife still hanging in the void of growing darkness.
"Zell?" Seifer asked softly.
"If you're going to kill yourself,you'll have to take me with you..." Zell replied tremors spreading through his body.
"You know.......I can't..."
Seifer opened his eyes,the heat of Zell's body pressed so firmly,so desperately against his own causing the blade to slip from his grasp,disappearing into the liquid swirl below.
He collapsed,dragging Zell down with him,a crumpled heap illuminated only by the pools of streetlight casting back the blackness weakly.Zell's breathing mirrored his own,tortured,the sudden burst of adrenaline racing through their systems like a drug.
(You'd do this........die for me?.........I never understood........Zell do you?)
Seifer tried to speak,his words catching,blow away on the ocean winds along with his blind insanity....
He prised Zell's fingers from his hips,shifting to look at the younger SeeD.He gazed back at Seifer,eyes wide in apprehension,brimming with tears.
"Don't leave me." Zell whispered,his voice cracking.
Seifer smiled.....a genuine one this time,relief dawning on Zell's face...
Zell leant in,sliding a hand round to the back of his neck,the graze of his lips against Seifer's sending a tiny jolt of electricity up both their spines.Seifer opened his mouth,Zell's tongue brushing his own,he tasted sweet,like summer fruits,bubblegum.........such relief from the loneliness,such comfort from the lack of intimacy.......all the longing and love placed in the hope of just this single kiss.Zell moaned,low in his throat,his hand tangling up into Seifer's sunlight-blonde hair,pulling him in closer,deeper.......
(I love you..........I always have........)
Finally they parted,breathless and not quite sure what had just happened.......Zell smiled back at him,elation blatant on his tattooed face.Seifer cupped his cheek,rubbing his thumb along Zell's sharp jawline.
(Listen to me..........)
"Zell......I don't love you." He said solemnly.
Zell's smile evaporated,his eyes clouding over with that forgotten fear,he moved to object but Seifer pressed a finger over his moist lips.
"But,.......I could learn to....." He willed all the hidden warmth back into his expression,lost for so long,he barely realised that it still remained,the dark corner of his subconscious that could care for someone.......that could care for Zell.......
Zell's mood broke and he pulled Seifer into a tight embrace,slipping his arms around Seifer's neck,holding him so protectively,it made Seifer's heart melt.........
(.....I can stop running........I'm not alone anymore.....)
(Seifer......I'll wait for you......)
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~FIN~
Thanx to all the kind reviewers of this ficcie.I hope y'all liked it!! I'll be concentrating on the dojinshi for a while now,so 'Wilderness' won't be updated for a few weeks,but fear not I will complete it *looks determinedly at the sky outside her window* Sorry,zoned out there! Anyway,thanx everyone who's supported me. ^_^
luv Nakiko
*****************
This is dedicated to Choogalee,a new friend of mine from AOL,and an aspiring writer *Hurry up and post your story!!!* Thanks for all your support Choo ^_^
******************************************************************************
Zell didn't bother to knock,his palm slamming into the heavy panelled door of Cid's office,pushing it forward hard enough for the frames to creak in protest.Cid looked up for his papers,an expression of startled annoyance on his creased features.He went to speak,but Zell's firm gesture cut him off like a knife.
"Why did you discharge Seifer?" He asked bluntly,forsaking any formalities or courtesy he usually displayed towards the headmaster.Cid frowned back at him,his eyes narrowing, "It wasn't my decision." Seifer piped up,entering the room to stand by Zell's side, "You said that already." He replied with a lilt of sarcasm,that old confidence seeping back into his voice.
Cid's body tensed, "Certain people in.....higher positions than myself decided that Seifer is..was a liability." He let a tiny shrug escape to his shoulders,regretting it the second his eyes met Zell's.The petite blonde boy was shaking,his high cheekbones tinged with scarlet,he spoke in a barely controlled whisper, "What.....I ask you Mr.Headmaster...has Seifer done to be a liability,besides working like a dog to become the best SeeD at this Garden...putting up with the abuse you let your students punish him with." He paused,the breath stolen from his lungs.Cid matched his students tone,any hint of flippancy long gone, "I told you,Dinct.Seifer is no longer welcome at this Garden,that is final and I'd advise you," He shifted his blazing eyes to Seifer,
(Don't like to be told the truth do you.....?......To have your power undermined by someone else.......you bastard......)
"To get off Garden property." He finished,returning to his documents.Zell cracked,his fist ramming into the surface of Cid's desk,the wood splintering,sending ornaments and files crashing to the floor.
"Don't you even care?!?" He yelled,dropping the facade of control.
Cid ignored his question.....
"Fine!....Seifer isn't your responsibility anymore......and neither am I."
(Zell! What the hell are you doing......?)
Seifer gasped,stepping back involuntarily,waiting for Cid's reaction,but Zell grabbed his arm,dragging him from the room without a word.....his anger threatening to consume them all.
Cid's voice rang out as the elevator doors swished shut,his pleas for Zell to come back falling on deaf ears.......
******************************************************************************
Seifer's faculties returned as soon as they walked out into the baking sunlight at the entrance to Garden.
"Zell." He wrenched his arm free from the martial artist's vice-like grip.
The blonde turned back,lancing him with a furious glance.Seifer's hand flicked out of nowhere,the stinging slap making Zell's cheek flush with colour.
(Wake up........Zell,you're losing it.......)
"T-thanks...." Zell said quietly,pushing the last remnants of his rage to the back of his mind.Seifer fiddled with his choker,refusing to meet Zell's eyes,a rush of guilt filling his face.
(....I just hurt him,Zell I should be thanking you.....but now we're both lost,we've both shattered our dreams.......it's like we've taken one step forward and six back......)
Seifer was just about to apologise when a familiar voice,accompanied by twin sets of footfalls approached them from behind.
"Squall....Irvine." Zell said blandly.
Squall's lips curled into a smile,overflowing with contempt, "Seifer...what are you doing here? I thought you'd been dumped." Irvine laughed,low and satisfied at Seifer's obvious discomfort, "Like the refuse you are..." Squall joined in his chorus,alerting the students around them,voyeurs to the building tension....
Zell sneered at his former comrades, "We're leaving.I don't need friends like you." Squall clapped his hands to his cheeks in mock anxiety, "what?" He raised his voice so everyone present could hear, "going to move in together are you?....has he finally found out what you are Zell?" Zell's eyes flickered from Squall to Seifer and back again.
(What is it.......Zell,what's wrong?)
Squall put a hand on his hip,angling his head to the side,regarding Zell like a fresh dog-turd, "You and lover-boy.....I bet you're gonna do it every night now!" The courtyard erupted into a sea of smiling faces,laughter filling the air.
Seifer was infront of Squall before he could even blink,his fist connected with the dark-haired SeeD's jaw,splattering blood on his pale face.Squall staggered backwards clutching his mouth, "You bastard,I'll make sure you pay for this..." Irvine nodded his head in agreement and they both stormed from the courtyard.
Seifer stood silently,his hand held out,quivering as he stared at it in disbelief.
(Did I just?......)
Zell's arms on his shoulders brought him hurtling back to reality, "Come on,let's get out of here." He led the dazed man to the gates........Seifer cast one final glance back at Garden....saying goodbye to his dream.
******************************************************************************
(Three hours later.)
Seifer gazed up at the ceiling of his bedroom,trying to keep his thoughts superficial,not to get caught up in the prison of memories he'd escaped from once before......with Zell's help,but now.......
(Squall......was he right......is Zell only helping me because he fancies me as his latest conquest?)
What were they going to anyway? Get proper jobs? Who'd employ a temperamental martial artist and a failed sorceress' knight......world domination wasn't a good point for anyone's CV.
He shook his head,driving the nagging questions,the fears from his head.
*Knock knock*
(Zell...........)
Stumbling off his bed he entered the living room of the modest house and opened the latch on his door,caution kicking in at the last moment.
"Hello?" He called into the evening shadows.
(nothing.......)
He was about to return to quiet self-antagonism when a small piece of paper lying on the mat caught his attention.
You'll pay......soon enough along with your little blonde lover.........
Seifer's breath hitched in his throat,his body stiffening with dread and he fled inside,bolting the door,sliding down to the ground still holding the note in his trembling fingers.Something deep inside him snapped........
******************************************************************************
Zell finished spooning the last of his makeshift dinner into his mouth,he dropped the plate onto a mound of unwashed cutlery lying discarded on the draining board.
(...I can't believe him.....)
He flipped through the television guide,lounging over the sofa and turning the widescreen on,not really paying any attention to the blur of colours and muted voices playing across the screen.
(Squall Leonheart.....he was my friend,they all were,I fought for them.... and where does it leave me......sleeping with the enemy 'literally'......)
A smile rose to his lips,he closed his eyes,invoking the scent of Seifer's body,the nerve juddering feeling in the pit of his stomach that thinking of the scarred knight conjured up.
(Wonder what he's doing now........to much to hope he feels the same way eh/ not after Squall fucked it up for us all........)
Zell ran a hand through his softly spike blonde hair,sighing heavily.He hopped off the sofa and approached the window.The sky was a ghostly lilac,slashed with thin rivulets of cerise........his eyes swept across the small town below,the tiny uniform houses,the cobbled streets,so empty in the humid evening air,the dock,edged by the raging breakers,tipped with lily-white foam....he noticed something else,panic striking at his heart as he scrambled for the door.........
(Hyne!!?!?.......no.........)
******************************************************************************
(I shouldn't be doing this.......I'm sick,I know that,but..........)
(They're after me,again,it's never gonna go away........I'll always be running........running from the past,I've done some stupid things.......I tried,Hyne knows I wanted to be a SeeD.......my dream it's gone like blossom petals in Spring,dashed in the dirt under my feet...........)
(Zell.........it hurts,but you'll forget me..........find someone else to chase.........I'm too much trouble.......too much pain for everyone.....)
Seifer leant forward,drinking the salty breeze,as it licked his cheeks,ruffling his clothes,cooling the fever on his brow.........he pulled the knife from the folds of his jacket,turning it over in his hands,watching the metal glint in the dying rays of yesterday's sun.
(You'll all be better off without me.......)
He closed his eyes,letting himself savour the last taste of sea air,the last sounds of the waves breaking angrily against the side of the dock.....the knife point poised above his chest,held up to the skies in an offering of his sacrifice......
(..........)
"NO!" Seifer felt a pair of strong arms clamp around his waist,pulling him back from the brink,the single word so focused in it's anguish that he paused,the knife still hanging in the void of growing darkness.
"Zell?" Seifer asked softly.
"If you're going to kill yourself,you'll have to take me with you..." Zell replied tremors spreading through his body.
"You know.......I can't..."
Seifer opened his eyes,the heat of Zell's body pressed so firmly,so desperately against his own causing the blade to slip from his grasp,disappearing into the liquid swirl below.
He collapsed,dragging Zell down with him,a crumpled heap illuminated only by the pools of streetlight casting back the blackness weakly.Zell's breathing mirrored his own,tortured,the sudden burst of adrenaline racing through their systems like a drug.
(You'd do this........die for me?.........I never understood........Zell do you?)
Seifer tried to speak,his words catching,blow away on the ocean winds along with his blind insanity....
He prised Zell's fingers from his hips,shifting to look at the younger SeeD.He gazed back at Seifer,eyes wide in apprehension,brimming with tears.
"Don't leave me." Zell whispered,his voice cracking.
Seifer smiled.....a genuine one this time,relief dawning on Zell's face...
Zell leant in,sliding a hand round to the back of his neck,the graze of his lips against Seifer's sending a tiny jolt of electricity up both their spines.Seifer opened his mouth,Zell's tongue brushing his own,he tasted sweet,like summer fruits,bubblegum.........such relief from the loneliness,such comfort from the lack of intimacy.......all the longing and love placed in the hope of just this single kiss.Zell moaned,low in his throat,his hand tangling up into Seifer's sunlight-blonde hair,pulling him in closer,deeper.......
(I love you..........I always have........)
Finally they parted,breathless and not quite sure what had just happened.......Zell smiled back at him,elation blatant on his tattooed face.Seifer cupped his cheek,rubbing his thumb along Zell's sharp jawline.
(Listen to me..........)
"Zell......I don't love you." He said solemnly.
Zell's smile evaporated,his eyes clouding over with that forgotten fear,he moved to object but Seifer pressed a finger over his moist lips.
"But,.......I could learn to....." He willed all the hidden warmth back into his expression,lost for so long,he barely realised that it still remained,the dark corner of his subconscious that could care for someone.......that could care for Zell.......
Zell's mood broke and he pulled Seifer into a tight embrace,slipping his arms around Seifer's neck,holding him so protectively,it made Seifer's heart melt.........
(.....I can stop running........I'm not alone anymore.....)
(Seifer......I'll wait for you......)
******************************************************************************
~FIN~
Thanx to all the kind reviewers of this ficcie.I hope y'all liked it!! I'll be concentrating on the dojinshi for a while now,so 'Wilderness' won't be updated for a few weeks,but fear not I will complete it *looks determinedly at the sky outside her window* Sorry,zoned out there! Anyway,thanx everyone who's supported me. ^_^
luv Nakiko
*****************