Disclaimer: I don't own them and I'm sorry but at the moment I don't know who does, so I give the rights to the sci-fi channel.
Rating: PG
Warnings: What? No warnings here my friends.
Summary: Life on the job can be very interesting, meaning: never get into somebody's car whom you don't know.
Work
It was supposed to be just another day at work. You know? Easy stuff because my job really isn't all that difficult, just hope that I'm still breathing every time I step out of a vehicle. So anyway, I get to work, go into the office, and talk up the girls a little. They love that, though they probably get it all day long. I was there a little early because the guy coming in requested to meet with me before the office actually opens. I figure what the hell eh? He offered to pay a little extra, and I can always use the cash.
So I grabbed my files and headed outside, damn that sun was hot, and it was only seven in the morning. I see this beige van sitting in the reserved parking lot and match it up to belonging to the person I'm meeting. Now I have been in a few vans and stuff in the time I've been working for this company, but I was definitely nervous just looking at this one. What did it say on the side? Oh, Tiko's Pet Grooming and Board.
The passenger's side window is open so I stay at the back of the vehicle and call out.
"Can you push on the breaks please?" The brake lights flashed red in bright morning's sunlight. At least I knew they were working all right. I actually stood for a moment outside the passenger door wondering if I should wipe the handle before I touched it. What an idiot huh? It's not like I was some guy raised in one of those biohazard tents; a little dirt never scared me before. I yanked the heavy door open and jumped in looking over to the man in the driver's seat.
I work around people all the time so I like to think that I've gotten a skill for reading their personality. His eyes were a really deep brown, and he looked at me expectantly, but I couldn't even guess what type of mood he was in, let alone gage his personality. I took a breath and decided I had wasted enough time analyzing this whole situation. It was time to get to work.
"I'm Alan Pots, your driving instructor." The balding man leveled his gaze with mine and introduced himself.
"Names Robert Hobbes."
"Yes, I know." He rolled his eyes and I ignored him. "The length of this test will take approximately forty-five minuets. We will be venturing downtown and on the main highways surrounding this area. At the completion of this test I will let you know if you have passed or failed. You may leave when you are ready, we will be going to the road on your right."
We head out smoothly, I'm actually surprised this hunk of metal on wheels moves so smoothly. I figured it had a good mechanic. He does the required lane changes when requested; always checking his blind spot with exaggerated moves so I know he's looking. He was very smooth, did I already mention that? Well, we came to some stoplights and I had him turn left. I'm pretty sure it was on Embree St., the traffic isn't too busy there that hour in the morning. He does all the right moves, checks the mirror, initiates the turn and about half way through he starts swearin' and cursin', jerking the wheel around with his left arm for a moment. Those are the times I really wish I had one of those instructors' cars, the ones with the brake for the passenger.
After a moment he straightens out and begins to frantically look around and behind us. It was then that I noticed his left arm was back on the wheel, only it had blood trickling down his wrist and dripping onto his pants or smearing on the wheel. No I was getting scared here. Seriously.
"What's wrong with your arm? Pull over!" I order. He spared me a glance and raised his eyebrows in a way that asked if I was crazy. Then, of all the damn things to do he pushes the gas pedal to the floor! His van is now going twice the speed limit…and it picked up to that speed surprisingly quickly. I'm sorry but I can't help but notice things like that. Suddenly he's speaking to me in a rushed voice, but I can't really hear what he's saying through the sounds of breaking glass and tire squeals. I twist in my seat for the first time and gaze into the back of the van. I remember seeing a whole lot of cable and stuff, but what really shocked me was the fact that the window had three bullet holes in it. I stared past the broken glass and noticed a black Mercedes hot on the vans bumper. Somebody was sticking an arm out of the car that was holding a rather big gun. Holy shit! I thought! What is going on?!
"Get down! What are you deaf or something! Spend all days giving the instructions you don't know how to take them?!" Mr. Hobbes grabbed the back of my neck and pushed my down into the seat, not too gently either, and then he twisted the wheel to the right, and back to the left! I twisted over to look out the side window and watched in horror as he narrowly missed several parked cars while swerving around a large blue moving truck. I felt a hand on the back of my neck and was once again shoved down in the seat.
"Will you stay down! I'm not driving through Disney land here!" Damn he was loud when he wanted to be. I settled to watch him, being that there was nothing else I could do like jump out of this van! I don't wanna die!
"Hold on!" He yelled.
"Hold onto what! I'm on the damn floor!" Okay, I really sounded tough there didn't I? I was trying not to pee my pants. After another screaming and cursing fit he slammed the breaks. Twisted the wheel hard spinning us around and I though I was going to throw up just before the back end of the van impacted against something and we finally stopped. Thank God!!! Figuring we were safe I went to sit up.
"Stay down!" He grabbed the back of my neck and shoved me down again, and let me tell you I was really, REALLY getting sick of that. I stayed down and then heard a crash, it was loud and sounded like something big impacted on water. At that point, okay well it was a long time back that I didn't know what to think, but now curiosity was beginning to overcome my fear. That's when I heard the shouts:
"Get down on the ground!"
"That was my Mercedes!"
"Is nobody listening to me today!? Get down on the ground!"
"You are going to pay!"
"I have a gun, I will shoot you if you do not lie down, face first, on the ground! NOW!" There was a moments pause. "BOTH of you!"
"All right!" Two men yelled back, annoyed and pissed off to no end by the sound of it. I kept listening.
"Pots? Get out here." I scrambled with my buckle and crawled across the seat to the already open door, my hands were shaking so much I don't think I could have opened my side's door. Once I was standing there I looked around. Oh. Mr. Hobbes was standing with his gun trained on two men in suits lying on the dirty ground, I went over to him hoping to god he was a cop and not some maniac wielding a weapon.
"Are you okay?" He asked me.
"Uh huh." Intelligent answer eh?
"Good. I want you to go into the back of my van. There is some plastic zip cords hanging on the left wall. Bring me four of them." He ordered and I went and got him his zippy things. A few moments later he had the guys on the ground strung together like turkeys and he was on the phone with someone. His left arm was still bleeding, I looked at the van windows, seeing the bullet holes and finally put it together, he had been shot! Really and truly shot while trying to perform a left hand turn at an intersection.
I knew we were on a bridge the moment I stepped out of the van, and now as I waited for the back up Mr. Hobbes said was coming, I noticed the nice hole over at the side. Ah ha! So Mr. Hobbes had somehow hit the Mercedes with his van and sent the car which was chasing us over the bridge and into the river. But, it must have stopped a moment or else these men on the ground wouldn't have been able to get out. It was at that point that I just sat down on the ground and stared at nothing in shock. I had just been involved in a car chase involving guns at seven in the morning. That had never happened to me before. And then I fainted.
Later Mr. Hobbes had come by to see how I was at the ambulance. I told him I was fine, just a little shocked.
"As long as you're okay." He said, and then looked around nervously.
"What?" I asked
"Well you know, it is nine and I have to get to work and everything, so I was wondering if the whole testy thing was over?" Testy thing? Oh, right. He needed to renew his license. I stared at him a moment. Let's see here, when we started he did everything right. Then he got shot and managed to stay in control, which in itself is impressive even though he says it's just a flesh wound. He had sped; his general handling skills had become extremely jerky. I had no doubt that he cut a few corners and missed a few stop signs. But he had obviously been looking out for pedestrians, seeing as he didn't hit any, and from my place on the floor I did notice that he still used his signal, which is a good sign when the driver is under pressure. The stop had been jerky and he had cost the fatality of a Mercedes Benz. All in all it had been the worst ride of my life!
"Yes, your test was completed."
"And?" He questioned carefully, very aware that he was walking on eggshells.
"Congratulations you passed." Mr. Hobbes had let loose a brilliant grin and shook my hand before apologizing for the inconvenience he had caused and he ran off to wherever it was he worked.
"Wait! What! You let him pass? After that!?" I looked at Cindy and Joan, whom I worked with in the office. They sure as hell didn't get it did they!
"Of course I let him pass! If I didn't he would have had to take the test again and he informed me that he would request me as his instructor. He was a nice guy, but I don't ever want to see him again!" They stared at me with wide eyes, finally comprehending the whole situation.
"Ohhh, you poor man! Let me get you some coffee!"
"Why don't you sit down here and take a rest. You must be exhausted after your dangerous adventure!" I smile appreciatively and feel the girls melt into my arms. Mr. Hobbes, I owe you one.
End.
Was it any good or what?