Tolls of Blood
Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get a chance to dance along the light of day?
And head back toward the Milky Way?
Tell me, did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded?
And that heaven is overrated?
Sick bastard.
Lost of people have called me that. I don't blame them, I'm not proud of what I did, but I don't regret it. Not a single bit. What's the point of wasting your time regretting something you can't change? Besides, they'd never understand. They had people who actually cared if they lived through the day, nobody cared
about Aniki and I. No one! Amiboshi, my aniki, was my mother, my father, my brother, and my best friend. He was my twin. We were two sides of the same coin. He was Yin and I was Yang. We even shared the same face. They couldn't possibly understand what I lost when I lost Aniki!
Never!
It hurt so damn bad. I was grasping at straws, for a course of action, anything! Unfortunately for Tamahome, I grabbed hold of the one Nakago offered, which happened to be the simplest and most violent solution.
And as sick and evil as it sounds, after all I had done, I hadn't exactly accomplished my objective. All I had done was gotten Tamahome pissed off at me. I had set out to wipe out his entire family, for he had shredded the last bit of mine all to hell. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. And I did it. I slaughtered those defenseless little kids. They didn't stand a chance. But he still had family. In Miaka, in the other Suzaku seishi. And even if I did have the Ryuuseisui, I wouldn't have stood a snowball's chance in hell against all
of them.
And I'm sure it really pissed him off when he found out that Amiboshi hadn't died at all. Just think, his father and four little siblings all died, for nothing.
But that was then, this is now. I'm not Suboshi anymore. I'm Eiko Shinji. I've regained the innocence of Bu Shunkaku, and the blood Suboshi bathed his hands in has been cleaned away. Lord knows, Suboshi is still buried deep down in me, but he too has grown with me. He is as much apart of me as I am apart of him.
We have been forgiven and accepted. Though Aniki is still in the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho, I have all I'll ever need right here.
~*~*~
"Hey, Shinji" Cold hands shook me out of my dream. I shifted in my covers and rubbed my eye with the heel of my palm.
"Muwaff-uh?" Okay, so maybe I wasn't completely awake. There's no way Yui could be trying to get me up at this ungodly hour. After a little bit of adjusting on my eyes' part, Yui's face dissolved away into Taka's. Ugh, now that's definitely something you don't want to see first thing in the morning. "What?" I grumbled then buried my face in my pillow, my dream starting to pick up where it left off.
"Blah, blah, blah, Takeru, yack, yack, yack, no classes, blah, blah, blah." That's about all I caught. Quite frankly I didn't care to catch more. I was needed in my nice little dream. But of course I needed to say something to shut the bozo up. Lets see, he said something about Takeru, but that wouldn't be a good subject considering that for some odd reason Taka carried an intense dislike for my best friend. So, that leaves me with 'no classes', it'll do.
"Er...fine. Um...then turn the alarm off, won't ya?" Not that I bothered to worry about why it was so urgent that he needed to tell me about it at insane hours of the morning. Of course not. And not that I bothered to notice that he actually called me by my name, and not Yo-yo Boy. Hell no.
"Are you sure you're gonna be alright?" Damn, he's persistent. I shifted again and mumbled through my pillow.
"Sure thing. 'Night, Little Ghost." And then I was gone. Fully knocked out till morning.
~*~*~
"What?!" Taka and I screamed in unison. I looked helplessly at Yui's face, praying that what she said couldn't have been true. Just received a double whammy. Takeru was gone and the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho was acting up again. What ever happened to, "And they lived happily ever after"?!?! I thought we were
through with the book!
"No! Takeru can't be dead! It's not supposed to be happing again! Not again! He has to be alive! He has to be!" I was back in the book, on that cold tile floor, crying to myself. Shaking, shivering, quaking with the intense sobs. Another death.
"I told you about it last night! Weren't you listening to me?!" Damn him, disturbing my wallowing in self-pity like that!
"Of course not! Did it look that way?!" I fired back, tears stinging fiercely at my eyes. Miaka gave him a sharp jab in the ribs, I should remember to thank her for that.
"Shin-kun?" I heard Yui's worried voice next to me. Since when did she get there? I thought she was standing across the room next to Miaka. "Don't shout. It's alright." Like hell it was! Takeru was gone! How in hell was it gonna be alright? She wrapped her arms around me and nuzzled against my shoulder. "Think
about Kyoko. She lost a lot more than you did, Shin-kun." Damn, now I felt worse. Here I was, loathing everything under the sun, except Yui of course, when Kyoko had lost a lot more than I had. She had lost the love of her life. Murdered for no given reason. Last night she went to sleep, knowing her boyfriend loved her and that she loved him, then when she wakes up, poof, he's gone. Never to come back. Now there's an experience that can really damage someone's life. Poor girl.
"I hope she'll be okay." There went Miaka with a wonderful little bout of utter stupidity. I know she was just being concerned, but that's gotta be one of the dumbest things I had ever heard pass her lips. If I was this tore up about it, think how bad Kyoko was suffering. Of course she wasn't going to be okay!
Suddenly, from behind our closed door came a muffled knock. I cringed inwardly, praying which ever god heard me first that is wasn't who I knew it was. I begged that it be Kyoko, or maybe one of Taka's friends just don't let it be...Her. Miaka opened the door and in came one of the most evil beings I ever had the
pleasure to meet.
"Konnichi-wa, Yuuki-san, Sukunami-kun. Ah, and there's Hongo-san and Eiko-kun. Go-kigen ikaga desu ka?" The Guidance Counselor.
~*~*~
"I'm sure most of you know why you're here." Six of us were crowed into one little room, the Guidance Counselor's office. Yui, Miaka, Kyoko and I were all gathered onto a rather small couch. From left to right we went, Miaka, Kyoko, then Yui and I. Taka was content to sit in Tanaka-sensei's desk chair, rolling
himself and the chair back and forth nonchalantly. I don't know WHY, but the chairs on wheels have always fascinated him. I must admit, they can be amusing, but I swear, that boy goes a bit overboard at times. And in addition to our solemn gathering was another person Takeru was associated with. Kunio Hirosu. I wouldn't call them "friends", but every now and then they'd hang out.
The woman passed her sad gaze over each of our faces, waiting patiently for an answer. Hirosu, our wonderful crusader, volunteered one for her.
"Yeah, Takeru was ripped to shreds and now you think we're gonna commit suicide over the loss of our dear friend," he sneered. Yep. Thank the gods for Hirosu. SUCH a way with words, I tell ya. Every inhabitant of the room, with the exception of Kyoko who looked like she was ready to break down into tears(by the look on her face it certainly wouldn't have been for the first time that morning) and Miaka who was trying to comfort her, shot him a death glare.
Tanaka-sensei sputtered to find the words she was supposed to say and struggled to keep them in a semi-delicate tone. That is a very difficult task when it comes to Hirosu. "Now, Kunio-kun, that's not wh-"
"But that's what you were thinking." He snapped. "You think we're loonies now that we've lost Takeru." She sputtered some more, and the glares being shot at the little prick intensified.
"Gee, I wonder why?" I glanced at Yui, whom was too busy giving Hirosu her, "Stare of Doom," as I like to call it, to notice my rather wide eyes.
"Bite me, psycho bitch," he growled, to which he promptly followed up with the one fingered salute. Now that was it! He was a dead man!
"Hey!" Miaka squeaked.
"You better shut the hell up you little prick!" I was on my feet before I knew it, that boy just accomplished one of the two things that really piss me off. One is insulting or causing bodily harm to my Aniki. The other would be doing aforementioned to Yui. I swear, if there hadn't been so many witnesses, I would have gladly ripped that finger right off for him!
"Kunio-kun! Eiko-kun! Please refrain from such vulgar language!" Tanaka-sensei took a step toward Hirosu, but was taken aback by the look he threw at her.
"Let him go, Yo-yo Boy, he's not worth it." Fat chance I'd listen to Taka, Hirosu had just insulted MY Yui! I felt a sudden tug on my arm, and I plopped back down on the couch. I glanced at Yui, whom after yanking me down was giving me a look that said the same as Taka had verbally. Now that inspired me to
stay put and let him have his way.
"You don't have a lot of room to talk, Sukunami. You date the klutzy, ditzy, bottomless pit." Oh shit, he just pinched a nerve deep in Taka. Seiryuu, help that poor soul. I can't watch!
"Alright, that's it. Let's take him, Yo-yo Boy!"
"Hell yeah!" Both of us were back on our feet and ready to take down the prick. Tanaka-sensei's eyes bulged and she threw her arms out and waved them about like it'd actually help the situation any.
"No! Stop! We'll have no fighting, and no cursing in my office! Do you hear me??"
"Shin-kun!" I felt Yui tugging at my arm again. As much as I love her, there wasn't a way in hell I'd sit back down! I was ready to skin the guy alive!
By now everything was a whirl. All I really knew was that Yui still had a pretty hold on me, Hirosu hadn't moved at all, and Kyoko was crying. I didn't like that one tiny bit, I normally wouldn't. I like to be in control of the things happening around me and to be aware of things. This certainly didn't fall into that category.
"I said SIT DOWN!" Tanaka-sensei's flushed face was right in Taka's, promptly inspiring him to do as he was told. I followed suit, my eyes probably as big as plates, if not bigger. I nailed my gaze to a wonderful bit of floor by my feet, maybe if I stared hard enough I could burn right through it. Hey! Then I could
escape this torture chamber! But wait, no, that means I be doing a great deal of digging. Nevermind. Scratch that idea.
"And YOU," she puffed, now literally nose to nose with Hirosu, "Have you no compassion? Ishino-san has just lost a very important person in her life. Can't you be decent? For her sake?" Hirosu didn't respond to Tanaka-sensei's rant and went into a deeper slump against the plastered wall. My, my, I've never seen
Tanaka-sensei act quite like this. I must applaud Hirosu, he had just achieved something that many have strive to...getting the Counselor pissed. Till now it was unheard of! She's normally so happy-go-lucky it's sickening.
"Now," the woman was still breathless, and it was kinda funny. If the conditions of the situation were different, I would have laughed. "Today's session wasn't exactly perfect." Nani?! What did she mean "today's" session???
"Nani? You mean there's gonna be more??" I had gotten up again, but Yui fiercely tugged me back down to the couch cushion before Tanaka-sensei had the chance to jump on me like she had Taka and Hirosu. Where would I be without Yui? "It's pretty obvious that we're not suicidal."
"No, just homicidal. That's all," murmured Taka under his breath. He shot Hirosu a nasty look that almost made the him squirm a bit. Ha HA! Just to see him uncomfortable made me feel better. I wonder how Takeru could have ever tolerated such a person blows my mind.
Ignoring Taka, she continued, "Yes, I'll be seeing you bright and early tomorrow." Everybody groaned reluctantly. Well, almost everybody. Kyoko mostly made a little sniffling noise then something that sounded a little bit like soft whine.
"Great, another love fest." I grumbled, slouching against Yui, suddenly, for the first time that morning, not quite feeling enough strength to get up from my seat.
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?
One without a permanent scar?
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there? ~ Drops of Jupiter, Train
Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get a chance to dance along the light of day?
And head back toward the Milky Way?
Tell me, did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded?
And that heaven is overrated?
Sick bastard.
Lost of people have called me that. I don't blame them, I'm not proud of what I did, but I don't regret it. Not a single bit. What's the point of wasting your time regretting something you can't change? Besides, they'd never understand. They had people who actually cared if they lived through the day, nobody cared
about Aniki and I. No one! Amiboshi, my aniki, was my mother, my father, my brother, and my best friend. He was my twin. We were two sides of the same coin. He was Yin and I was Yang. We even shared the same face. They couldn't possibly understand what I lost when I lost Aniki!
Never!
It hurt so damn bad. I was grasping at straws, for a course of action, anything! Unfortunately for Tamahome, I grabbed hold of the one Nakago offered, which happened to be the simplest and most violent solution.
And as sick and evil as it sounds, after all I had done, I hadn't exactly accomplished my objective. All I had done was gotten Tamahome pissed off at me. I had set out to wipe out his entire family, for he had shredded the last bit of mine all to hell. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. And I did it. I slaughtered those defenseless little kids. They didn't stand a chance. But he still had family. In Miaka, in the other Suzaku seishi. And even if I did have the Ryuuseisui, I wouldn't have stood a snowball's chance in hell against all
of them.
And I'm sure it really pissed him off when he found out that Amiboshi hadn't died at all. Just think, his father and four little siblings all died, for nothing.
But that was then, this is now. I'm not Suboshi anymore. I'm Eiko Shinji. I've regained the innocence of Bu Shunkaku, and the blood Suboshi bathed his hands in has been cleaned away. Lord knows, Suboshi is still buried deep down in me, but he too has grown with me. He is as much apart of me as I am apart of him.
We have been forgiven and accepted. Though Aniki is still in the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho, I have all I'll ever need right here.
~*~*~
"Hey, Shinji" Cold hands shook me out of my dream. I shifted in my covers and rubbed my eye with the heel of my palm.
"Muwaff-uh?" Okay, so maybe I wasn't completely awake. There's no way Yui could be trying to get me up at this ungodly hour. After a little bit of adjusting on my eyes' part, Yui's face dissolved away into Taka's. Ugh, now that's definitely something you don't want to see first thing in the morning. "What?" I grumbled then buried my face in my pillow, my dream starting to pick up where it left off.
"Blah, blah, blah, Takeru, yack, yack, yack, no classes, blah, blah, blah." That's about all I caught. Quite frankly I didn't care to catch more. I was needed in my nice little dream. But of course I needed to say something to shut the bozo up. Lets see, he said something about Takeru, but that wouldn't be a good subject considering that for some odd reason Taka carried an intense dislike for my best friend. So, that leaves me with 'no classes', it'll do.
"Er...fine. Um...then turn the alarm off, won't ya?" Not that I bothered to worry about why it was so urgent that he needed to tell me about it at insane hours of the morning. Of course not. And not that I bothered to notice that he actually called me by my name, and not Yo-yo Boy. Hell no.
"Are you sure you're gonna be alright?" Damn, he's persistent. I shifted again and mumbled through my pillow.
"Sure thing. 'Night, Little Ghost." And then I was gone. Fully knocked out till morning.
~*~*~
"What?!" Taka and I screamed in unison. I looked helplessly at Yui's face, praying that what she said couldn't have been true. Just received a double whammy. Takeru was gone and the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho was acting up again. What ever happened to, "And they lived happily ever after"?!?! I thought we were
through with the book!
"No! Takeru can't be dead! It's not supposed to be happing again! Not again! He has to be alive! He has to be!" I was back in the book, on that cold tile floor, crying to myself. Shaking, shivering, quaking with the intense sobs. Another death.
"I told you about it last night! Weren't you listening to me?!" Damn him, disturbing my wallowing in self-pity like that!
"Of course not! Did it look that way?!" I fired back, tears stinging fiercely at my eyes. Miaka gave him a sharp jab in the ribs, I should remember to thank her for that.
"Shin-kun?" I heard Yui's worried voice next to me. Since when did she get there? I thought she was standing across the room next to Miaka. "Don't shout. It's alright." Like hell it was! Takeru was gone! How in hell was it gonna be alright? She wrapped her arms around me and nuzzled against my shoulder. "Think
about Kyoko. She lost a lot more than you did, Shin-kun." Damn, now I felt worse. Here I was, loathing everything under the sun, except Yui of course, when Kyoko had lost a lot more than I had. She had lost the love of her life. Murdered for no given reason. Last night she went to sleep, knowing her boyfriend loved her and that she loved him, then when she wakes up, poof, he's gone. Never to come back. Now there's an experience that can really damage someone's life. Poor girl.
"I hope she'll be okay." There went Miaka with a wonderful little bout of utter stupidity. I know she was just being concerned, but that's gotta be one of the dumbest things I had ever heard pass her lips. If I was this tore up about it, think how bad Kyoko was suffering. Of course she wasn't going to be okay!
Suddenly, from behind our closed door came a muffled knock. I cringed inwardly, praying which ever god heard me first that is wasn't who I knew it was. I begged that it be Kyoko, or maybe one of Taka's friends just don't let it be...Her. Miaka opened the door and in came one of the most evil beings I ever had the
pleasure to meet.
"Konnichi-wa, Yuuki-san, Sukunami-kun. Ah, and there's Hongo-san and Eiko-kun. Go-kigen ikaga desu ka?" The Guidance Counselor.
~*~*~
"I'm sure most of you know why you're here." Six of us were crowed into one little room, the Guidance Counselor's office. Yui, Miaka, Kyoko and I were all gathered onto a rather small couch. From left to right we went, Miaka, Kyoko, then Yui and I. Taka was content to sit in Tanaka-sensei's desk chair, rolling
himself and the chair back and forth nonchalantly. I don't know WHY, but the chairs on wheels have always fascinated him. I must admit, they can be amusing, but I swear, that boy goes a bit overboard at times. And in addition to our solemn gathering was another person Takeru was associated with. Kunio Hirosu. I wouldn't call them "friends", but every now and then they'd hang out.
The woman passed her sad gaze over each of our faces, waiting patiently for an answer. Hirosu, our wonderful crusader, volunteered one for her.
"Yeah, Takeru was ripped to shreds and now you think we're gonna commit suicide over the loss of our dear friend," he sneered. Yep. Thank the gods for Hirosu. SUCH a way with words, I tell ya. Every inhabitant of the room, with the exception of Kyoko who looked like she was ready to break down into tears(by the look on her face it certainly wouldn't have been for the first time that morning) and Miaka who was trying to comfort her, shot him a death glare.
Tanaka-sensei sputtered to find the words she was supposed to say and struggled to keep them in a semi-delicate tone. That is a very difficult task when it comes to Hirosu. "Now, Kunio-kun, that's not wh-"
"But that's what you were thinking." He snapped. "You think we're loonies now that we've lost Takeru." She sputtered some more, and the glares being shot at the little prick intensified.
"Gee, I wonder why?" I glanced at Yui, whom was too busy giving Hirosu her, "Stare of Doom," as I like to call it, to notice my rather wide eyes.
"Bite me, psycho bitch," he growled, to which he promptly followed up with the one fingered salute. Now that was it! He was a dead man!
"Hey!" Miaka squeaked.
"You better shut the hell up you little prick!" I was on my feet before I knew it, that boy just accomplished one of the two things that really piss me off. One is insulting or causing bodily harm to my Aniki. The other would be doing aforementioned to Yui. I swear, if there hadn't been so many witnesses, I would have gladly ripped that finger right off for him!
"Kunio-kun! Eiko-kun! Please refrain from such vulgar language!" Tanaka-sensei took a step toward Hirosu, but was taken aback by the look he threw at her.
"Let him go, Yo-yo Boy, he's not worth it." Fat chance I'd listen to Taka, Hirosu had just insulted MY Yui! I felt a sudden tug on my arm, and I plopped back down on the couch. I glanced at Yui, whom after yanking me down was giving me a look that said the same as Taka had verbally. Now that inspired me to
stay put and let him have his way.
"You don't have a lot of room to talk, Sukunami. You date the klutzy, ditzy, bottomless pit." Oh shit, he just pinched a nerve deep in Taka. Seiryuu, help that poor soul. I can't watch!
"Alright, that's it. Let's take him, Yo-yo Boy!"
"Hell yeah!" Both of us were back on our feet and ready to take down the prick. Tanaka-sensei's eyes bulged and she threw her arms out and waved them about like it'd actually help the situation any.
"No! Stop! We'll have no fighting, and no cursing in my office! Do you hear me??"
"Shin-kun!" I felt Yui tugging at my arm again. As much as I love her, there wasn't a way in hell I'd sit back down! I was ready to skin the guy alive!
By now everything was a whirl. All I really knew was that Yui still had a pretty hold on me, Hirosu hadn't moved at all, and Kyoko was crying. I didn't like that one tiny bit, I normally wouldn't. I like to be in control of the things happening around me and to be aware of things. This certainly didn't fall into that category.
"I said SIT DOWN!" Tanaka-sensei's flushed face was right in Taka's, promptly inspiring him to do as he was told. I followed suit, my eyes probably as big as plates, if not bigger. I nailed my gaze to a wonderful bit of floor by my feet, maybe if I stared hard enough I could burn right through it. Hey! Then I could
escape this torture chamber! But wait, no, that means I be doing a great deal of digging. Nevermind. Scratch that idea.
"And YOU," she puffed, now literally nose to nose with Hirosu, "Have you no compassion? Ishino-san has just lost a very important person in her life. Can't you be decent? For her sake?" Hirosu didn't respond to Tanaka-sensei's rant and went into a deeper slump against the plastered wall. My, my, I've never seen
Tanaka-sensei act quite like this. I must applaud Hirosu, he had just achieved something that many have strive to...getting the Counselor pissed. Till now it was unheard of! She's normally so happy-go-lucky it's sickening.
"Now," the woman was still breathless, and it was kinda funny. If the conditions of the situation were different, I would have laughed. "Today's session wasn't exactly perfect." Nani?! What did she mean "today's" session???
"Nani? You mean there's gonna be more??" I had gotten up again, but Yui fiercely tugged me back down to the couch cushion before Tanaka-sensei had the chance to jump on me like she had Taka and Hirosu. Where would I be without Yui? "It's pretty obvious that we're not suicidal."
"No, just homicidal. That's all," murmured Taka under his breath. He shot Hirosu a nasty look that almost made the him squirm a bit. Ha HA! Just to see him uncomfortable made me feel better. I wonder how Takeru could have ever tolerated such a person blows my mind.
Ignoring Taka, she continued, "Yes, I'll be seeing you bright and early tomorrow." Everybody groaned reluctantly. Well, almost everybody. Kyoko mostly made a little sniffling noise then something that sounded a little bit like soft whine.
"Great, another love fest." I grumbled, slouching against Yui, suddenly, for the first time that morning, not quite feeling enough strength to get up from my seat.
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?
One without a permanent scar?
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there? ~ Drops of Jupiter, Train