Author's Note: This chapter may have some WAFF, as far as a comedy goes. I know I promised that this fic would be short. We all know how that turned out. Anyway, I just hope you wait for me to finish the fic before you kill me.
Let me see, how many promises have I broken so far? The length of this fic, that's one. The time it took me to finish it, that's two. (I had been hoping for one week, but work kinda got in the way). Then in my other fics…I promised no more back to backs, releasing a chapter only once every week…that's four…hmm…too many promises broken. How embarrassing.
Anyway…standard disclaimers apply.
On with the story
Chapter Seven: It's About Damn Time!
Ranma woke up to the sound of activity coming from outside their room. He knew it was early, but nobody seems to be in the habit of sleeping late in this damn dojo.
Well, that wasn't what really bothered him. He hadn't been one to wake up early since he married Akane. Before that, his father always woke him up either with a douse of water or an unwarranted trip from his room to the koi pond, again courtesy of his father. Now it was just lazing around with Akane in the sheets, and sometimes, they weren't so lazy in the sheets.
He grinned. Damn! We're good in bed.
Perverted thoughts aside, he and Akane had a bright future of marital bliss. After everything that happened before and after their marriage, they sure as hell can get through anything.
Still, he had hoped that they could at least have a relatively normal honeymoon. He should have known it would be as wacky as the rest of his life.
His pondering inevitably shifted to Ryouga and the oiker's love problems.
Stupid conscience. Yes, Mr. Honor, Mr. Good Guy and Mr. Sensitivity have conspired to nag him, creating a potent mixture known to man as Guilt. Why'd I ever let Nabiki talk me into these things?
Because, Saotome, the only thing that can override Mr. Honor is Mr. Jusenkio Curse.
Ranma sighed. Was it true? Did he hate his curse so much that he was willing to risk the feelings of his friend just for the possibility that the curse could be lifted?
Man, I've never felt like such a prick in my entire life.
He groaned at his own selfishness. What good was there in telling Ryouga now, anyway? Nabiki already got what she wanted. The deed's been done.
Akane stirred in his arms, her eyes cracking open.
Ranma smiled at her. "Hey tomboy."
She rubbed her eyes with her fists and returned his smile. "Morning, pervert," she said while yawning, "What was that for?"
"What was what for?"
"That sound you made. It was troubled."
He stared at her. Sometimes, he could not believe how far this so-called women's intuition went. Even as a girl, he didn't have it. Akane said it was because he was such a Man-guy, which she didn't exactly mean as a compliment.
There was no use in telling her it was nothing. Besides, he was supposed to tell Akane everything, as his wife, and as his best friend. "Promise you won't get angry."
She suddenly had a look in her eyes that said "Uh oh," but seeing the serious look on her husband's face, she refrained from asking, "What did you do this time?" Instead, she said, "I promise. What is it?"
"Remember the Fifteen Thousand Yen Nabiki put up as a fee so she can get us to China?" Ranma began, running his hands through her hair idly just to keep the pleasant mood she was in. "Well, the other day, she made a deal with me."
"Uh oh" threatened to come out again, but Akane kept quiet. Making deals with Nabiki was about as good as signing your name in blood on the dotted line.
Ranma went on. "She told me that if I could get Ryouga to admit his feelings to Kaoru before Kenshin does, she would call off both our charges. I…accepted the deal."
"Ranma, you moron!" She hissed. She wasn't shouting, which was a good thing, but he could detect the disapproval.
"You promised not to get angry," he reminded her.
Akane sighed and rose up to her elbows, keeping her gaze on him. "I'm not angry, but I have to say this: It's pretty obvious that Ryouga's been in love with Kaoru for quite some time now. I could even say that it's good for someone to admit their feelings to the person they love," she punctuated this by jabbing a finger to his rib, reminding him of the time they had been less than honest with each other. "But I shudder at the possible methods you used to encourage Ryouga to do that. Did you even warn him that Kaoru may not feel the same way, ever? Or did you just let him go on thinking that he had a chance?"
Boy, when the Conscience Squad materializes in Akane like that, they're pretty brutal. Ranma flinched.
Akane rolled her eyes around. "I thought so. Idiot-darling, we all know whom Kaoru loves. You should have told Ryouga. You know he has a tendency to deny these things. Even though what you were suppose to tell him does not discourage him from going through with the confession, at least it would cushion his fall, somewhat. That's how he survived with me. He could see we loved each other even if we denied it, and it eased the heartbreak. But you know it's different with Kaoru. He never saw Kenshin with her until now, and it's only been a few days. Do you expect him to accept reality in such a short period of time?"
Ranma grimaced. Guilt with a vengeance. "So…you're saying…"
"It isn't too late to tell him the truth," Akane said. "You told me he admitted his love to her last night, ne? Well, I don't think she's turned him down just yet because he isn't throwing Bakusai ten ketsu at the moment. But mark my words, Ranma, she will turn him down."
Ranma groaned again. "When will this madness end?" He asked.
Akane chuckled. "Think of it this way, Ranma. At least right now, it isn't directed at us."
"How are you feeling, Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin asked her while they assisted Ukyo in making yet another Okonomiyaki meal. For some reason, Ukyo has decided to make a batch larger than usual.
All the dojo residents, in addition to Sano, were in the kitchen now, except Kuno, who hasn't reappeared since Kaoru sent him to the moon the night before.
Kaoru gave him a small smile. "As well as could be expected considering a 300 pound panda plowed into me last night."
Ukyo laughed. "I can't believed you survived that, sugar."
"I know," Kaoru said with a grin.
Nabiki chuckled. "Oh you should have seen Ryouga last night," she said. "Don't look at the light! Kaoru! Don't look at the light!" She made an exaggerated imitation of Ryouga when he was agitated.
Ryouga turned red amidst the peal of laughter. "I said no such thing, Nabiki!"
"And how did Kenshin handle it?" Yahiko asked with a snigger.
Nabiki rounded her eyes and her mouth, pretending to shake a pair of shoulders in her hands. "Oro! Don't look at the light! Oro Kaoru-dono! Don't look at the light, de gozaru yo!"
The laughter was even louder with Kenshin vehemently praying that he could fit through the tiny gaps on the wooden floor.
Akane wiped a tear from her eye and found the breath to speak. "Big Sis, give them a break. You know they're both world class worriers."
"I can't believe you were all there so fast, though," Kaoru said, oblivious to the guilty faces surfacing at her statement.
"Well, you know how loud Ryouga can get when he's in distress," Ranma put in for the benefit of everyone's asses. He warned Ryouga to shut up with his pointed gaze.
Ukyo and Akane knew when not to say anything. They merely raised their eyebrows and resolved to ask Ranma the real story later.
"Which reminds me…" Ranma grumbled. "Yo, Mr. Piggy, can I talk to you for a sec? Outside?"
Ryouga gave him a glare but stood up without spitting out another challenge.
As the two men stepped out, Kenshin sidled up to Kaoru.
"Umm…Kaoru-dono?" He began in a soft voice.
Kaoru looked at him, surprised by his secrecy. "Yes?"
"Are you really alright?" Kenshin asked her in a concerned tone.
A smile spread across her face. "I'm fine, Kenshin. Don't worry, we'll still go out tonight. Wild horses couldn't stop me."
Pink suffused his cheeks but he smiled in return.
"But if another panda falls on me, you'll understand, won't you?"
"Oro!"
"What's this about, Ranma?" Ryouga asked once they were out in the front yard.
Ranma faced him and decided to just come out and say it. "Ryouga, I had been ordered by Nabiki to get you to admit your feelings to Kaoru so that she would win her bet with Sano that you would do it before Himura does. I did it because she would call off mine and Akane's fee for the China trip."
Ryouga stared at him, though he knew he should be angry, he had other emotions to wrestle with. "I'll pound you for the conspiracy later, Ranma, but the thing is, admitting my feelings to Kaoru…it isn't such a bad thing. I had to tell her, you know."
"Right, but there's something I should have told you," Ranma continued. "Ryouga, Kaoru isn't going to return your affections. She's in love with Kenshin."
This got Ryouga to bristle. "That man doesn't really love her!"
"Yes, he does. That man spied in on your date the whole night last night just to protect her from the remote possibility that you would harm her," Ranma said. "I know because Nabiki and I were there to make sure he didn't kill you if you fumbled. They love each other, and nothing's going to change that. I'm sorry man, but…you should accept that. You don't want to hurt yourself too badly."
Ryouga didn't say anything, but he was beginning to look very depressed. "You're just saying that because until now you can't stand to see me happy, Saotome."
Ranma sighed. "I'm not even going to fight you for that. Believe me, I would rather have just let you go through with it all by yourself, but it ain't right to let you get hurt more than necessary. Just remember what I told you, alright?"
Ryouga averted his eyes to the ground. He was in no mood to fight Ranma either. It's just that…again? Disappointed in love again? How many rejections can a guy take before he completely loses it, anyway?
"Let's go inside," Ranma said. "You're probably not very hungry right now, but I don't want you walking around the Meiji era like that. You might end up killing somebody."
"I'd…I'd like to go to the dojo, if you don't mind," Ryouga said in a faraway voice.
Oh man! I hope he doesn't total it. Ranma thought, but he nevertheless agreed. "Sure dude. But I'll close all the doors, okay? As long as you don't open any doors, you'll be fine. I'm serious when I say I don't want you getting lost."
Ryouga nodded. "I hear you. Thank you, Ranma."
Ranma held down a sigh. Well, Mr. Conscience, are you happy now?
After breakfast, Kaoru decided to go to the dojo. Everyone else would be occupied and she figured now was the best time to get some training in without anyone distracting her. She just hoped Shampoo wouldn't be along for Sano.
Dressed in her gi and hakama, she slid the shoji to the dojo open and was surprised to find Ryouga meditating silently in one of the corners of the hall.
She was a little disappointed that she wouldn't be able to get the personal time she wanted, but she could handle Ryouga's presence. She decided to meditate as well.
Kaoru was just about to position herself at the center of the dojo floor when Ryouga spoke.
"Is there any chance at all, Kaoru-chan, that you would return my feelings?" He asked, turning from his seat to look at her.
Kaoru stood still, surprised that he had come out and said it so suddenly, but her face softened, and even before she spoke, Ryouga already knew the answer.
"Ryouga, I'm sorry," she said in a soft voice. "Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to have dinner with you, but I was frustrated with Kenshin then. You were…"
Ryouga sighed. "A reflex action."
It sounded so horrible, but she couldn't deny it.
"It's okay, I know you love Kenshin," Ryouga said, keeping his misery at bay for the moment. "I was actually hoping that if he…you know, doesn't return your feelings, you would consider me…"
Kaoru gave him a sympathetic smile. "Ryouga-kun, you should stop trying to be the Rebound-guy."
"It's not like I mean to be Rebound-guy," he said in defense of himself. "It's just that the women I end up falling in love with seem to find out that they're in love with somebody else, and that somebody else is in love with them too. As for me, I'm in so deep that I would settle for…leftovers if there are any."
"Well, you can try beating Shampoo. At least she's sure to want you if you do," Kaoru joked mildly.
Ryouga shook his head. "Big mistake. It'd be Sano and me. Considering my track record, she'd probably end up with Sano."
Kaoru actually laughed at the prospect. "Sano will not end up with Shampoo. He would rather die than marry her. Besides, I think he and Megumi has some kind of weird understanding."
Ryouga smiled. It was tinged with sadness, but he wasn't totally devastated. Well, he was, but he could see himself living through this.
"But…" Kaoru spoke up with a blush. "Even with Kenshin asking me out, I'm not really sure if he loves me or anything like that. He's so nice and all that I think he asked me out just to…"
Ryouga blinked and stared at her in disbelief. It's…the same thing all over again…everyone knows it but them! It's so…freakin' déjà vu! I could cry…He began to laugh.
"Eh?" Kaoru stared in surprise.
Ryouga was holding his stomach now, laughing and rolling on the floor.
Kaoru pouted. "What's so funny?" She demanded.
"K-K…Kaoru, you idiot!" He shrieked amidst his loud guffaw.
"What did you call me?" Kaoru growled, her chi-bokken materializing in her hand.
Ryouga raised his hands and tried to stop laughing. "Maa…maa…" Then realizing that it was how Kenshin talked, he convulsed in another gale of merriment. "Oh, Kaoru. If anyone should be hit over the head, it's you!"
Kaoru fumed, but was too amazed by his actions and words to do anything violent just yet. Her curiosity won over. "What's that suppose to mean?"
He took a deep breath to control himself and smiled at her. "Figure it out, Kaoru-chan," he said, still chortling a bit. He got to his feet and headed to the door.
The frown on Kaoru's face told more of her frustration than her anger.
"I'll see you around," Ryouga said to her. "I got things to do." He slid open the shoji and stepped out. Just after he had closed her in, he detected some shuffling from somewhere beneath the floor.
Ryouga shook his head and rolled his eyes around. "You can come out now."
Six pairs of eyes, one pair of which was extremely furry, appeared from under the planks of the dojo porch, looking about as innocent as weasels.
"Jeez! You're all just like a bunch of kids!" Ryouga told them.
"Lost my glasses," said the sign Genma held up.
"Right," Ryouga responded.
Ranma clambered out, helping Akane to her feet. "Well, it ain't there pop. I guess we gotta look somewhere else."
"You have to be more careful about your stuff, Genma-san," Yahiko told him as he crawled out and got to his feet.
The rest of them agreed with him in various degrees, dusting themselves as Ukyo and Nabiki emerged.
"I'm getting the munchies. I think I'll go help myself to some of the pickled stuff," Ranma said, leading the pack towards the kitchen. "You guys coming?"
"Yeah!" Came the general reply (from those who could talk).
"'Bout you, Ryouga?" Ranma asked him.
Ryouga cocked a melancholic smile. "Naa. I think I'll stay out here for a while."
"You guys go ahead," Ukyo said. "I'm not really hungry. Can I keep you company, Ryou-kun?" She asked.
"Sure," Ryouga said, lifting one shoulder in acknowledgement and sitting down.
"Your loss," Nabiki said to them. "Kaoru's butler really makes exquisite preserves," she added, lilting her diction to a classy tone.
Ukyo and Ryouga chuckled. They watched the rest of the Nerima-gumi and Yahiko walk away from them, Genma lumbering after the group.
Ukyo gave Ryouga a cute smile. "Ryou-honey, Kaoru's right."
Ryouga chuckled and shook his head again, but there was no disdain. "About what?"
"About you being the Rebound-guy," Ukyo replied, cocking her head at him.
Ryouga wasn't even offended. "Yeah, well…I guess it's just another curse I'm going to have to get over."
"You know," Ukyo said. "It's been almost two years since I last let Ran-chan go. I've pretty much come to terms with myself."
"You're saying I'll get over it eventually," Ryouga responded, almost in a bored tone.
Ukyo cocked her own smile. "Well, yeah. But that's not what I meant. What I'm saying is that I'm no longer on the rebound."
Ryouga stared at her. Is she saying what I think she's saying?
She gave him a grin. "I have no intention of turning into Rebound-gal, but a guy deserves a break, don't you think? Wanna go out with me?"
Ryouga continued to stare stupidly, causing Ukyo to giggle.
"Ryou-honey, it isn't a life and death decision. Let's go out and half some fun." Ukyo said.
"Umm…I'd like that, Ukyo, but I don't have any money," he replied with a painful blush.
She rolled her eyes around. "Oh I know that. What do you think I did with all those Okonomiyaki patties this morning? Half of it went to the Akabeko. It'll be my treat! What do you say?"
"You sold Okonomiyaki just for this?" Ryouga asked in disbelief. "Ukyo…I'm honored…"
"Lighten up, Ryou-kun," she said in fond reproach. "You're always stressing out. This is what this date is all about: Relaxing. Think you can do that?"
Date…"O-Of course, Ukyo-chan. It will be my pleasure," he said, mustering a genuine smile.
"Great! Now, all this talk about food has given me the munchies as well. What say we trip on those pickles?" Suggested Ukyo cheerfully, reaching out her hand.
He nodded with a grin. "Sounds good," he replied, taking the hand she offered.
Hopping off the porch, they made their way towards the kitchen area.
Inside the dojo, Kaoru smiled through the crack of the shoji door. It's about damn time!
"No way am I going to go out looking like this!" Kenshin cried, standing in front of Sano in his bachelor's pad.
Sano scowled. "What the hell's wrong with the way you look? I happen to think you're stylin'!"
Kenshin found it in himself to glare at Sano. "Of course you would! This is what you wear every day!"
The pants were too long, considering Sano's legs were a lot longer than Kenshin's. Then the sleeves of the white jacket flopped sloppily past his fingers. The kung-fu shoes too, two sizes bigger, didn't have quite the same bad-ass effect. He felt like a clown in pajamas, but that was not the worse of it.
"And even if I could pull of the clothes, I couldn't possibly get away with this headband?" Kenshin said in protest, hitching the red sash higher up his forehead as it drooped over an eye. "I mean, my goodness!"
"Hey, it completes the look!" Sano said through grit teeth.
"This look is ridiculous on me," Kenshin said with an apologetic sigh, pulling off the headband and jacket. "I appreciate the suggestion, Sano. Really, I do, but I'm not tall enough and I couldn't get away with the 'Evil' kanji on my back if my life depended on it." He proceeded to change back into his own clothes. "I'm not like you and Ranma-dono who look like tough guys. Besides, I didn't come here to ask you to dress me up. This unworthy one already knows what to wear. I came here to ask you where you think it would be best to take Kaoru-dono."
Sano was in no mood to help him anymore. Apart from losing his cash to Nabiki (who immediately collected after the incident in the pond), Megumi has snubbed him with ice-cold indifference when he went to fetch her for Jou-chan. Of course, it didn't help either with Shampoo all over him. "Just go take her to the Akabeko," he said lazily.
"Ryouga already did that," Kenshin replied. "I want to take her some place different, you see. And not only that, I want to be able to say the right things." Without cracking my voice.
Sano sighed in exasperation and turned to pull something out from one of his shelves. It was a stack of onion skin papers, cut into palm size pieces. "Here. I made these for you the other day. You might as well use them," he said, handing them over to Kenshin. Damn rurouni! How can someone with god-like speed be so f&#ing slow? Ryouga actually beat him to the punch!
Kenshin picked up a sheet and read it out loud. "'I see your soul'…I guess it works, in a creepy sort of way, that is…"
"Stupid," Sano hissed. "It says 'I seek your heart'. You got your nouns and verbs mixed up."
"Oro! So it does! You have er, exotic penmanship, it seems," Kenshin quipped politely.
It was a little too polite for Sano. "Oi! What's wrong with my penmanship?"
"Maa…maa…I just have to get used to it, that is all," Kenshin said. He picked up another sheet. "Open your heart with a knife? Sano I don't want her to commit suicide."
This made Sano even more irritated. "It's 'please'! 'Kudasai'! Not 'kunai'!"
Kenshin nodded. "Oh…right…kokoro o akete kudasai. Umm…it's a little too formal, don't you think, Sano? I'd sound like an immigration officer asking her to open her bags at the port."
"Well, isn't that how you talk?" Sano asked him.
It was Kenshin's turn to scowl. "No! Of course not! I may talk funny sometimes…"
Sano sputtered a laugh. "Sometimes?"
"Very well. We shall not talk about that," Kenshin said abruptly, then he went on. "I do not want to freeze her over."
Sano crossed his arms over his chest and smiled lopsidedly. "Do you really want to know how to warm her up, Kenshin?" He asked with a mischievous glint.
Kenshin glared at him. "Sanosuke, you pervert…"
"What? Hey! It ain't nothin' like that!" Sano protested. "I was going to tell you to drop the 'dono'. Think you can do that Mister Manners?"
Kenshin somewhat gave a gasp. "Drop the 'dono'? Are you serious? Kamiya Tetsuro--!"
"Yeah, yeah, will turn in his grave," Sano finished for him wearily. "I've heard all that, Kenshin, and you know what? Drop the 'dono' anyway. It'll make both of you happier."
Kenshin seriously pondered it. He'd certainly thought her name without the 'dono', once or twice. It sounded nice in his mind. He has never uttered it out loud, ever, not even to himself. "But Kaoru-dono deserves respect."
"It ain't just respect she wants from you, bud," Sano said. "She already knows you respect her. Take my word for it, drop the 'dono'. Why don't you say it a couple of times, see how it feels."
Kenshin took a deep breath and said her name. "Kaoru…Kaoru…" Well, no earthquakes or rising corpses. It certainly felt better to say it that way.
Sano sputtered a laugh again. "You're saying it like it's a bad thing."
Kenshin shot Sano a glare. "I think I'll keep calling her Kaoru-dono until I'm ready to get rid of the honorific, if you please. I have no intention of murdering her wonderful name with the way I look when I say it."
"What an idiot," muttered Sano with a chortle. "Look at it this way. You call Ranma with a 'dono', Akane with a 'dono', Megumi, Nabiki, Ukyo, heck even Ryouga, in your own peculiar way."
Kenshin shot him a glance. "How did you know that?" He demanded.
Sano realized his slip and tried to wave it off with a casual explanation. "I heard you say it once, anyway…"
Kenshin fell silent but unsettled. He was fairly certain that he had been careful about not using that particular endearment for Ryouga when others were around.
Sano continued. "…Jou-chan's very special to you, isn't she? If you call her just plain Kaoru, it will make her feel very special."
Kenshin considered it. He would probably try later. Sano rarely made sense, and when he does, it was almost a sign from the gods. "Whatever, Sano," he said, picking up another cheat-sheet from the pile. He read it out loud. "The warmth of your ham...Oro! I don't think it will be appropriate to be that intimate on what I consider to be a first date!"
"It's hand! Jeez! What the hell is wrong with you?"
Kaoru peeked at Kenshin from the corner of her eye and suppressed a burst of laughter at his extremely disturbed and flustered expression. Akane, Nabiki and Ukyo had been relentless, even worse on him than they'd been on Ryouga. They had picked on him and his reversed edge sword, something he had not expected.
"Hey, Himura!" Nabiki had said, staring him down. "That be a reversed-edge sword, isn't it?"
Kenshin quaked under her scrutiny. "It is, Nabiki-dono."
Akane had an even scarier frown on her face. "What kind of idiot would carry a reversed-edge sword?"
Kenshin was about to say, "An idiot like me," but realized just in time that it didn't sound very nice. Instead, he tried to explain. "Umm…Akane-dono, it's to make certain I don't..."
Ukyo gave an exasperated sigh. Her pretty face, made prettier by some sort of powder and rouge (no doubt for her night out with Ryouga), did nothing to put Kenshin at ease. "Really, sugar. How much does that thing weigh? Eight? Ten pounds? Doesn't it get in the way?"
Kenshin wanted to ask her how much her spatula weighed but decided that congeniality was the best way to approach the situation. "This unworthy one carries it around by force of habit, you see..."
"Aren't carrying swords around here, like, illegal?" Nabiki asked him sternly.
Kenshin didn't know why he suddenly felt that he needed the approval of these women. He groped for a reply. "This unworthy one…er, the police don't think much about a reversed edge sword…and, umm…I kind of get special treatment…"
"Oh, yeah," Akane said. "Special treatment. You saved Japan…how many times was it? Ten? Twelve times?"
Kenshin blushed from embarrassment, not from modesty, but from the feelings of inadequacy Akane had so expertly infused in him at that moment. "J-Just once, I think, with Shishio…the Boshin Civil Wars was a combined effort, you see..."
"Hmph! Just once! I told you he wasn't much, Akane," Nabiki told her sister off-handedly.
Akane and Ukyo gave such disappointed sighs that Kenshin was about to fall to his knees, beg pardon and declare to them that next time, he will do better.
"Well, you know the drill," Akane said. "Home by ten, got that?"
"C-Certainly."
"Ever gone up against women with mallets, spatulas and a heart as cold as the north pole?" Ukyo asked him casually.
Kenshin gulped. "I believe I have not…"
Ukyo nodded with patronizing approval. "You don't wanna know how THAT goes. Are we clear on this?"
"Y-Yes, de gozaru!"
"What time do we want her back, soldier?" Nabiki asked in a drill-sergeant tone.
"Ten, de gozaru yo…"
"I can't hear you!" Nabiki yelled.
"Ten, de gozaru yo!" Kenshin said a little louder.
Nabiki's frown was made scarier with her arms folding over her chest. "Hmph! Not so feminine this time. Say it like you mean it!"
"TEN, DE GOZARU YOOOOO!" Kenshin shouted like his life depended on it.
"Mou! What a racket!" Kaoru suddenly said from behind them, and it was then that Kenshin almost passed out at the sight of her.
The look on his face had been priceless. He was obviously dying from embarrassment, yet he had the most haunted expression, as if he was seeing something…wonderful. It felt nice to know she could affect him like that.
His momentary catatonia had given her ample time to observe him herself. He was wearing a blue gi and a gray hakama. She had never seen him wear it before, but he looked gorgeous. She would have stared stupidly herself if Akane had not elbowed her in the ribs.
She was glad she had gone with the blue and purple kimono with the Sakura prints. They would match perfectly without looking like a dance pair.
Kenshin had tried to say something that had to do with the stars, but maybe realizing that he wasn't being coherent, he let it drop and proceeded to escort her out.
Now they were making their way into town, and Kenshin hadn't said anything much but, "Watch your step, Kaoru-dono," and "Over here, Kaoru-dono, where the puddles can't get you."
She almost sighed. Trust Kenshin to think she was in danger of puddles! "Mou!"
Kenshin heard her and wanted to hit himself. I can't do anything right! He thought, without the slightest idea of what he had done wrong.
He led them to the Akabeko where Tae met them at the receiving area quite excitedly.
"Oh! You both look so nice!" Tae said to them, not exactly welcoming them in. "It will be ready in a minute, Himura-san."
"Arigato," Kenshin said with a respectful bow.
Kaoru stared at him questioningly, but he merely blushed and made a wordless promise that she would know eventually.
Tsubame soon appeared, carrying a large pouch. "Here you go, Himura-san," said the girl shyly. "They won't clutter or spill and the jug is wrapped well enough not to break."
Kenshin smiled at her and took the pouch, swinging it over his neck and shoulder as he said, "Thank you, Tsubame-dono. It was so kind of you to take care of its packaging."
"Well, have fun, you two," Tae said to them, pushing them both outside with Tsubame looking on. "Himura-san, I want Kaoru to be very happy in the morning, alright?"
"Oro!" Kenshin exclaimed. So many women seemed to be ordering him around that night, everyone except Kaoru who was strangely passive. He was thinking of how best to ask her whether she was feeling all right when Kaoru spoke through his thoughts.
"Kenshin, where are we going?" Kaoru asked him, tugging at his sleeve.
The endearing curiosity in her eyes sent his senses in a jumble. Don't do that!
Who are you scolding? Her, or yourself?
Both! Goodness…her baby blues will be the death of me yet!
"You'll see Kaoru…" he said, trying to get his mind into focus. Drop the honorific…drop the honorific… "…dono." Damn! That word has a life of its own!
Kaoru let go of the breath she had not realized she had held. So close. He had been so close. "Mou! Kenshin, the suspense is killing me."
He smiled slightly. "It's no big deal, Kaoru-dono. I just wanted to get away from the noise of town. So we can talk where no one can nose in on our business."
It was short of saying, "Where the Nerima-gumi can't follow." Kaoru is yet to find a spot where that premise is possible. Ranma and the others have braved treacherous terrain and wild demons just to be part of the action. Not even a trip to China would be enough to discourage them from getting the scoop on things.
She was so distracted by her own thoughts that she did not notice the direction they had taken along the road. Not until they came upon the gates of the shrine did Kaoru regain her awareness.
"Kenshin, what are we doing here? Do you want to pray again?" She asked him.
Kenshin gave a small smile, remembering the odd enlightenment he had stumbled upon the last time they had visited the shrine. "Maybe," he said mysteriously.
"Umm…alright," she replied, a bit confused. What a time to turn weird on me, Himura. Of course, it has to be on OUR date.
They headed across the yard and kept walking until they reached the front of the shrine itself.
Kenshin stood peering up at the structure, as if studying it intently.
Kaoru watched him, trying to be patient. Kamiya, this is a DATE. No need to go military on him.
Kenshin popped a finger in his mouth then raised it up in the air.
Kaoru stared. Is he checking the direction of the wind? Kenshin you idiot! What the hell are you doing? She had an urge to call on Mr. Bokken that very moment, but she controlled herself and decided to ask him in a calm and forthwith manner. "Kenshin, what the hell is going on?" Well, it was better than hitting him.
He gave her a rurouni smile. "Kaoru-dono, how do you feel about heights?"
What a stupid question! Weren't we just jumping roofs the other day? She glared at him. "Kenshin…"
He chuckled and gently, but suddenly slipped his arm around her waist, pulling her close.
"Eh!?!?" Kaoru exclaimed. She didn't know whether she should be happy or whether she should hit him for being so forward. She was about to go for the latter recourse when Kenshin unexpectedly tightened his hold on her and jumped.
Kaoru gasped as they both lifted off in the air and landed on one of the shrine arcs.
"Hold tight," Kenshin told her with his placid smile.
She felt like fainting just then. Oh! He could be so gorgeous! Going with the fluttery feelings she was experiencing, she put her arms around him and snuggled.
He jumped again, landing both of them on an even higher ledge. Kaoru looked down and her heart made a mad dash at the dizzying height. She closed her eyes and gave him her complete trust.
On the third jump, he planted his feet on a beam and kicked upward, finally getting them to the roof.
Her feet were on solid ground and she opened her eyes.
From where they were, she could see as far as the height of the shrine permitted. All of her fear dissipated as she saw the lights shining from the streets of Edo below. The stars above them were a sight to see as well.
She had never seen a clearer sky.
"Oh, Kenshin," she whispered in breathless awe. "It's beautiful."
Kenshin smiled down at her face. Hmm…never thought the light of the moon can bounce off so nicely on her face like that. "Yes, it is," he replied, not meaning the view of Edo.
"It's magnificent," she gasped, not even noticing that they still held each other.
"Indeed…" Himura, you must have been a good guy in your past life to deserve this. Yup, good karma is definitely at work here. He just wanted to stay the way they were: Kaoru in his arms. It was almost hard to believe that it could be better than this, but it could.
The jasmine scent that wafted from her skin…those blue and soulful eyes…those soft moist lips…Oro! Down Battousai! She isn't yours quite yet!
Shut-up! I'm enjoying myself!
Get your hands off Kaoru now!
Aw…do I have to?
Right now! Before she comes to her senses and Kamiya Kasshins you out of existence! Damn! What will Kamiya Tetsuro say? Making such moves on his daughter? What nerve! Shame on you!
Alright already!
Kenshin released her gracefully and stepped back. "Kaoru-dono, let's sit down and have some dinner."
Kaoru turned to him and blinked. She blushed fiercely in realizing that they had been so inappropriately close.
She nodded and proceeded to sit herself down on the shingles. She chose a small platform that rose out of the sloping roof and settled herself comfortably on it.
Kenshin sat beside her and began to unpack the parcel they had picked up at the Akabeko.
True to her words, Tsubame had done an expert job with the bento boxes and the jug of lemonade.
Amidst it all, Kaoru could hardly believe that Kenshin had thought all of this up. It was terribly romantic, and she could only smile brightly as she helped herself to the delicious meal.
I always knew he had it in him. She thought with approval, and then her train of thought went in another direction. Or did he? Where is all this coming from? Since when did Kenshin ever be any kind of Romeo? He'd never paid her special attention until…the Nerima-gumi showed up. Did he suddenly become so amorous because of Ryouga? She peeked at him and he flashed a smile.
Kenshin grinned at her through his inner turmoil. Oh boy, she has that thinking look in her eyes! What is she pondering? Oh God, she knows about the absurd rivalry I've taken up against Ryouga! Kaoru will deck me for sure!
Simmer down. She doesn't know anything about your tiff with Ryouga. Remember what Sano said? Women never think as far as that!
Stupid! Kaoru has always been smart! She knows! She knows! Besides, when have I ever listened to that rooster-head, anyway?
His advice is better than nothing at this point. It's too quiet. She's bored out of her skin! Say something! Anything!
"Umm…Kaoru-dono, your hair…" Rivals the beauty of the night! Say it!
Kaoru raised an eyebrow at him. It sounded like the beginning of a compliment. He's not seriously going to say that it matches the udon, will he? Mou! These boys bungle up everything!
I can't do it! It sounds too corny! "…has something in it, it seems," said Kenshin, picking off an imaginary speck of dirt from her bangs.
Kaoru almost choked on her noodles to stifle her laugh. Mou! Of course he wouldn't say such a thing! He isn't like that! "Arigato, Kenshin," she managed to say.
Kenshin could feel his palms claming up. She had been so animated when she was with Ryouga. Even after Ryouga accidentally groped her (he still glowers at the remembrance), she and Pig-boy had been immersed in intent discussions. Why the heck was she so quite now?
Desperate, he fished out one of Sano's cheat-sheets. "Ask her stuff," said the note. Kenshin scratched his head. Why in the world would he want to have anything to do with her things?
Stupid meter on the rise! Moron! Ask her stuff about her! Not ask FOR her stuff!
"Oh, right," Kenshin said, not realizing he had spoken out loud.
"What are you agreeing to, Kenshin?" Kaoru asked.
Kenshin blushed at his own blunder. "Umm…this unworthy one would like to know what it was like living in Nerima apart from the chaos, if I may ask,"
Kaoru snickered at the memories. In spite of the constant anarchy, she liked Nerima, and all its modern inconveniences. "Nerima is all about chaos, Kenshin. There wasn't a moment there that I wasn't refereeing fights, or participating in one, thereof…then if we weren't in Nerima, we would be out fighting demons, retrieving Akane from some other guy who was in love with her and what not."
"Oro!" Kenshin exclaimed. He couldn't imagine a world where Kaoru wasn't the one getting kidnapped. That was just a positively terrible thought, Kenshin. "Akane-dono is very popular?"
Kaoru nodded. "Oh yes. Everyone told me that she used to have to fight off a hoard of boys in the schoolyard before she got to class. Literally fight! It was Kuno's fault. He made this absurd proclamation that the one who beat Akane would get to date her. I was told that Ranma put a stop to it eventually. I didn't believe it at first, but when Kuno started paying attention to me…"
Kenshin frowned. "He didn't."
"Yes, he did. He made the same proclamation about me, and well, Dr. Tofu, Nerima's resident doctor slash chiropractor, had a load of male patients in his waiting room everyday," Kaoru replied. "It was good exercise, though."
"Well, who put a stop to your troubles?" He asked.
"Ryouga-kun…"
Well, he's gotta be good for something…"That was nice of him," Kenshin remarked nonchalantly.
Kaoru tried not to blush. She realized at that instant just how much of an idiot she had been. She should have known then that Ryouga liked her in that way. Why else would he go through all that trouble for her? It was just as well. She could never have returned his feelings. She had another bodyguard in mind. Kevin Costner would have been proud. Yeesh! How can such a terrible movie seem so romantic all of a sudden?
As they ate their take-out, Kaoru told him about TVs, planes, popcorn, cars and bullet trains. She was amused to discover that Kenshin was particularly interested in automobiles.
What is it about men and cars? She was tickled at the thought that the love affair between the male species and convertibles spanned the ages. It must be some kind of inherent need to have control over something so powerful as a V-8 engine.
Dinner was soon done, and they packed away the bento boxes for its return to the Akabeko later. In the meantime, Kaoru sidled up to Kenshin on their perch.
Holy…she moved closer, thought Kenshin in silent panic. What do I do? What does she expect me to do?
Take a deep breath, Himura. It's no big deal.
He took his breath then peered at another cheat-sheet.
"You make me want to be a betting man," it said. Kenshin frowned. The last thing he wanted Kaoru to think was that he had taken up Sano's more undesirable habits. It had to be something else. Oro! Sano couldn't write legibly for shit! What is this note trying to say?
Forget that! Try another one!
"You make this world a bitter place." Feh! That was even worse than the last one! Where does Sano get his material anyway?
"What have you got there, Kenshin?" Kaoru asked, trying to see what he was looking at.
"Oro!" Kenshin exclaimed, stuffing the note stealthily in his sleeve. "N-Nothing, Kaoru-dono! J-Just checking something in my sleeve."
"Oh. Well, you looked real interested in it," she said with a grin.
"I'm more interested in you, Kaoru-dono," he supplemented with just the right amount of playfulness. That was smooth, Himura. Keep it up.
Her cheeks flushed. "I certainly hope I'm more interesting than whatever it is you got up your sleeve."
Up…my sleeve…She knows! Ohhhhh!
Shut-up! She doesn't. Just don't be so obvious next time. Now take it from where she left off.
"How can you not be, Kaoru-dono?" He asked in a matter of fact tone. "You make this world a bitter place."
"What?!"
"Better! I meant to say better!" Kenshin cried hastily, sweat running down from his brow. Oh man! You made a mess of that! Those confounded cheat-sheets!
His words sank in, and she gave him an appreciative smile. "Do you really mean that, Kenshin?"
Kenshin held down his sigh of relief and he nodded. "Of course, Kaoru-dono. What would have become of me if I hadn't met you? I'd be wandering through Japan without a place to call home, without family, and without a purpose in life. You gave me all of that, Kaoru-dono." The truth of his own words struck him. She is all that. She's my center. Kaoru…I'm unworthy of you, but I do love you so much.
Kaoru felt a comfortable warmth coming over her. Such wonderful things he's saying. Is that how he sees me? I could just…just kiss him!
But of course she didn't. Instead, she took his hand.
The faint crinkle of paper practically gave him a heart attack.
What in the world…? "What's this?" Kaoru asked, taking the cheat-sheet delicately in her fingers.
"O…o…Oh God…" Kenshin gasped with wide eyes.
She would see! She would know! And she would be very, very angry if she found out I was reading stuff to her! So he did what he had to do. He grabbed the paper from her and…and…shoved it into his mouth.
Damn! Ink and paper doesn't exactly taste like dumpling wrap! He swallowed with a wince as Kaoru stared at him in shock.
Just his luck, she found her voice. "Kenshin! What are you -- ?"
No time! Act now!
He was desperate, and nothing could save him now except drastic measures. Without thinking, Kenshin grabbed her by her jaws and clamped his mouth over hers.
Oh damn! She will kill me! She will bokken me to the next century! She will…she will…kiss back…really well…
Kaoru sighed and sank against him languorously, her eyes closing to savor the kiss.
Kenshin's mind suddenly went blank, and all he could comprehend was that her lips felt silken against his. No words could be spoken with more eloquence than a kiss given and accepted. He enfolded her in his arms and relished their closeness, their kiss deepening in tender longing.
Lingering moments after, they finally separated, staring into each other's eyes.
"This unworthy…" Kenshine began, gasping a bit from the air shortage. He should apologize. He honestly thought he should, but right now she looked so contented that he found the wisdom not to. "I have been wanting to do that for the longest time…"
She smiled warmly and tilted her head to the side, keeping her lips close to his. "How long?"
"Since this unworthy one…since I realized I love you…"
Kaoru could have died of happiness at that very moment. "Which was?" She asked in a whisper.
"Since I met you…"
"Kenshin, you moron! What took you so long?" She admonished. She wasn't really asking. It was more of an expression of how he had taken forever to speak, but Kenshin began to reply nervously. Oh for heaven's sake! He's actually trying to think of an answer! Rurouni, sometimes you're just too much of an idiot!
"Er…Kaoru…this unworthy one was…"
Well, at least he got one thing right. He's dropped the "dono", and it's about damn time! "Kenshin," she said.
"Yes?"
"Shut up and kiss me. Now."
"Oro! Yes ma'am!"
It was a kiss that made Battousai proud.
Oh rapture! Oh joy! I can't believe I'm kissing her! I can't believe she's kissing back! I can't believe…I can't believe…Battousai isn't saying a word. Hey! Why are you so quiet?
Who me?
Yes, you. Are you finally dead?
Hey, I'm not about to dis the one thing you've done right, rurouni. Besides, it's not like you're the only one enjoying this. Go on now. Shoo! I've got Kaoru right where I want her!
I'm sorry I asked.
It was inevitable that they had to stop for breath. When they did, Kaoru's adorably lazy smile prompted him to say the words that never seemed so easy to say before.
"I love you, Kaoru," he murmured.
Her heart leapt. He said it again! "I love you, Kenshin," she whispered back.
They kissed for a third time, and "dono", as the saying goes, was not only history, but beaten, flattened and totally annihilated.
"I have three words for you," Sano said from the tree as he munched on the popcorn Akane had packed from the future. "It's about damn time!"
"Idiot! That's four words!" Yahiko hissed, trying to get the binoculars from Akane while holding up Nabiki's listening contraption for everyone. "If you didn't curse so much, you'd get things right half the time!"
"Well, excuuuuuuse me, smarty pants," Sano said with a scowl. "I've lost a fortune and I'm engaged to an amazon. I'm having a bad day."
Genma was too busy counting out his money to Nabiki to participate in the conversation.
"Oops, they're kissing again!" Akane said.
"Lemme see!" Ranma said, trying to gently pry the binoculars away from his wife.
Akane pushed off his hand. "Take it easy Ranma! It's not like this kiss was different from the last two...oh, well maybe it is..."
"Hey, come on Akane!" Sano cried, popcorn rolling out of his mouth. "Quit hogging the seeing-majjig!"
"Hoooo-wee! Go Kenshin!" Akane whooped.
At this point, Ranma, Sano and Yahiko all tried to grab the binoculars from her.
Akane laughed as they all fired questions at her.
"Damn! Is he groping Jou-chan already?" Sano demanded.
"Ew! How could he even think to do that to ug--Kaoru?" Yahiko asked.
"Aw! Akane! It's not every day I get to be the one to spy on people! Have a heart!" Ranma cried.
Akane giggled, glad that everything was falling into place. Ryouga and Ukyo were out, Kenshin and Kaoru had finally admitted their feelings to each other and Sano…
"Nihao airen!"
"Aw shit!"
Well, almost everything…
Author's Note: It's a comedy! Please try to understand. Too much WAFF in the wrong place gives me the heebie-jeebies. Although, I hope I didn't rob you of too much fuzzy feelings.
Next up: Happosai Awakens (And We All Know How Horrible That Could Be)