Forgiveness
Part I: Beginnings
Author's note: These Characters don't belong to me, if they did I would be millionairess, living somewhere cool like Florida, with a large car and all my original stories published. Squall, Seifer, Zell, Irvine, Rinoa, Quistis, Selphie, Laguna, Raine, Edea, Cid, Ellone, Xu, Fujin and Raijin and anyone or thing else that you recognize belong to Squaresoft. Don't sue me please; I'm just a poor student.
It was a beautiful day in Timber. Rinoa Heartily brushed at her raven hair absentmindedly as she watched the train from Balamb pull into Timber Station. It had been three weeks since she had last seen Squall, but to Rinoa those three weeks had felt like an eternity. Of course she understood that being Commander of Balamb Garden had kept Squall busy these past few weeks. He hadn't realized that the Ultimecia situation would have created so much paper work and with Cid still of on vacation with Edea he'd had to figure it out for himself.
Rinoa had also had a lot to do. She was still a member of the Forest Owls and Timber was still a long way away from freedom.
'Maybe Squall and the others will have a few ideas.' Rinoa thought happily as the door of the train slid open.
"RINOA!!!!" A familiar voice squealed as a bouncy brunette leaped down the steps and enveloped Rinoa in a tight bear hug.
"Hi Selphie." Rinoa smiled hugging the smaller girl. "It's great to see you."
"Howdy Rinoa." Rinoa looked up to see Irvine Kinneas close behind Selphie as always.
"Irvine, nice to see you again." Rinoa said releasing Selphie and beaming up at him. Irvine tipped his hat at her before moving to take Selphie's hand. Rinoa smiled at them, they had grown closer over the past few weeks, she realized.
"Yo Rinoa, do I get a hug?" Zell asked coming down the steps followed by Quistis.
Rinoa rushed over to embrace both blondes and then planted a kiss on Zell's cheek that made him turn an interesting shade of pink.
"Didn't you bring Ami?" She asked.
Zell blushed an even darker pink and muttered.
"Nah…S-she had, you know, um…library stuff…"
"Oh, okay." Rinoa replied brightly turning to look at the doorway of the train. After a second of watching it expectantly she turned back to her friends.
"Where's Squall?" She asked puzzled.
The mood shifted suddenly at her words. Selphie jumped nervously from foot to foot, Irvine looked away his expression uncomfortable, Quistis looked glum and Zell's grin faded.
Rinoa looked from one face to another her expression changing from puzzlement to worry.
"What's wrong? Zell, where is he? Did something happen?"
Zell shook his head.
"Whoa, no, nothing like that. Squall just had a lot of work to do. He said he'd catch the next train." He said reassuringly.
"Oh…" Rinoa nodded brightening, and then she stopped. "Oh, oh no. There isn't another train, not until tomorrow."
"There isn't?" Quistis asked dismayed. "Oh dear."
"Can't he come in the Ragnarok?" Rinoa said hopefully.
Selphie shook her head regretfully. "Uh-uh. It's still in Esthar being repaired. We really busted it up breaking into Lunatic Pandora."
Rinoa's face fell.
"Oh." She said softly, disappointment heavily present in her usually cheerful voice.
"Major bummer." Selphie agreed also down.
Zell slumped his shoulders looking at the train timetable on the station wall as if glaring at it would make another train from Balamb magically appear. Quistis looked around uncertain what to say. Only Irvine spoke up.
"Hey, hey, hey." He said putting an arm around Rinoa's small shoulders. "Cheer up, darlin'. Squall will be here tomorrow and we'll keep you company till then."
"Yeah I guess so." Rinoa replied trying to cheer up. "I mean what's another day?"
"That's the sprit." Irvine smiled. "Now let's go have some fun!"
Rinoa tried to smile as she allowed her friends to lead her off in the direction of the pub. 'Irvine's right' She thought. 'Squall will be here tomorrow, and everything will be fine.'
* * *
"What do you mean there isn't a train to Timber until tomorrow?" Squall Leonhart stood at Balamb Station a familiar frown darkening his perfect features.
"I'm sorry Commander Leonhart." The ticket clerk stammered nervously.
"Don't call me that…" Squall muttered in disgust turning away and storming down the steps.
'Great…' he thought putting a hand to his forehead. 'Now I'm stuck here. Xu will have taken Garden and left for Esthar by now. Rinoa's going to be so disappointed…hell I'm disappointed, I really miss Rinoa, I miss her smile, I miss hearing her voice…'
"Hey, Puberty boy." A familiar voice sneered.
Squall stopped in his tracks. He looked up slowly. Seifer Almasy stood flanked by his posse, a familiar smirk on his handsome face. His scar the exact opposite of Squall's own gleamed in the sun. Looking at him Squall couldn't help but think back to the last time he had seen Seifer, smirking just like this as he threw a helpless and terrified Rinoa at the feet of Sorceress Adel like some sacrifice.
Cold rage began to bubble up beneath Squall's carefully control exterior, the only thing stopping him from unsheathing his gunblade and putting it through that mocking face was the promise he'd made Rinoa before she'd left for Timber three weeks before.
"Promise me that you won't fight with Seifer, Squall." Rinoa had said looking up at him, her dark eyes pleading.
"…Whatever."
"Seriously. I don't think what happened was his fault. Ultimecia used him. She turned his dreams against him. He should be pitied Squall, not hated. And someday he should be forgiven…try to talk to him. Promise me you'll do that. Please Squall?"
"…I promise."
"Seifer." Squall said his voice as cold as ice.
"Commander Leonhart." Seifer replied with a mocking salute. "I didn't know you still travelled by foot like the rest of us mortals."
Squall did his best to ignore this. 'I'm no good at this talking stuff…' he thought.
"…How have you been?" He asked lamely.
Seifer looked at him as if he'd gone mad.
"What?!?" He said. "You gone soft in the head, Leonhart?"
Squall threw out his arm in frustration.
"Hyne! There's no point in even trying to talk to you!" He raged.
Behind Seifer, Fujin and Raijin exchanged a nervous glance.
"LEAVE." Fujin said urgently.
"Seifer, let's go, ya know." Raijin agreed. "Don't want to start fighting, ya know."
"Sure," Seifer replied, his dark blue eyes still locked with Squall's. "This dumb SeeD isn't worth it."
Squall managed to keep in control of himself as Seifer and his Posse turned to leave. 'Remember my promise…' He thought.
Seifer turned back towards him, his expression once again mocking.
"Hey, Leonhart." He said. "I saw Garden leave earlier. Where are you staying?"
Squall scowled at him.
"Balamb Hotel." He snapped. "Not that it's any of your business."
Seifer smirked.
"Hey, that's where I'm staying. So maybe I'll see you later, huh Squall?" Seifer turned to leave again, but not before giving another mocking salute. "Bye now, Commander."
Squall clenched his fists and took deep breaths as Seifer walked away. He could get under Squall's skin in a way no one else could.
'Dammit!' He thought angrily turning and heading in the opposite direction to the one Seifer took. 'Why does he always do that? I wish Rinoa were here. I don't want to break my promise to her but if Seifer keeps this up we probably will end up fighting. Why is he like that? Rinoa wants me to forgive him but I'm not sure if I can, I'm not sure I can forget all the things he's done. And what about Seifer, what if he doesn't want to be forgiven?' That was a question Squall couldn't answer. He toyed with the idea of going to the docks after Seifer but quickly changed his mind. If he was going talk to Seifer again he needed to work of his frustration first. Sighing Squall walked out of Balamb Town heading towards the nearest forest to find some monsters.
* * *
"Just give me a drink!" Seifer raged at the bartender in Balamb Pub.
"ID." The guy replied absolutely deadpan.
Seifer raked a hand through his short blond hair and glared at the man.
"I'm twenty-one years old, now give me a drink!" He lied.
The Bartender folded his arms and glared right back at him.
"No ID, no drink." He replied. "Now get out of my bar before I have to throw you out!"
"Dammit!" Seifer swore turning on his heel and storming out of the bar. 'Why does Squall always do this to me?' he thought. 'Why did he try to talk to me? Doesn't he know how I feel about what I did to him?' Seifer shut his eyes momentarily. A horrific picture of himself giving the command to send another 1000 bolts of electricity through Squall's helpless body flashed into his mind. 'Some knight…' Seifer ran a hand through his already mussed hair and tried to will the picture away. It obediently faded. 'Me and Squall have been rivals since we were kids. Sure he's not my favorite person, but torture him? How could I have done that? I couldn't have been me…but it was…I was a Sorceresses knight my childhood dream fulfilled, but knights don't hurt people, they help them…' Another picture flashed through his mind, Rinoa's beautiful face twisted in terror as he held her before Sorceress Adel.
"Seifer, please…don't do this…" Her dark eyes were full of fear. "Please…"
"Rinoa…"
'No!' Seifer's eyes snapped open. Rinoa…she'd chosen Squall over him. But that wouldn't have been enough to make him want to hurt her. He would have never wanted to hurt her. Then why? Everything was so fuzzy. Those memories…it was him, Seifer…but he did things Seifer would never dream of doing…not in his right mind.
He supposed he'd better get to the docks to meet with Fujin and Raijin like he'd promised, but he didn't want to. He'd just end up taking his mood out on them.
They were his Posse, his friends. He didn't want to give them any more grief than they'd already gone through over the past few months. They'd stuck by him through his temporary insanity but had left at the right time to help bring him to his senses.
Seifer turned and began to walk towards the town exit. He needed to find a few monsters, work of this frustration. He wanted…
'What do I want?' He wondered. 'I want to turn back time. I want things to be the way they were. I want to be a SeeD. I want to have a home. I want…forgiveness.' Seifer stopped. Forgiveness? That was impossible. It was all impossible. He couldn't turn time backwards, things would never be the way they were, he would never be a SeeD and Garden would never accept him back, he could never go home.
'This is all Leonhart's fault!' Seifer thought clenching his fists, then he shook his head, his anger towards Squall fading as fast as it came. No it wasn't Squall's fault. But then whose was it? 'Ultimecia!!' Seifer realized, his anger came back even stronger now that it had been redirected. That bitch. She had used him, played him, poisoned his dreams.
Another scene flashed through his head. Himself kneeling before a throne. Upon it sat Ultimecia in Edea's-Matron's body.
"What do you want, Seifer?" The sorceress asked cruelly.
"I want to dream again…please. Just let me have one dream…"
"Not until you tell me what I need to know. What is the meaning of SeeD? I demand to know!"
"But I was never a SeeD…I don't know…"
"Then find out!"
Seifer began moving again. What did it mean…why couldn't he remember. Why couldn't he dream?
* * *
Squall trudged through the woods in disgusted. Two Bite Bugs. He'd been walking around for at least half an hour and all he'd come up against was two Bite Bugs! He shifted his weight from on foot to another. He really needed a good fight, he was so distracted though…maybe it was better that he hadn't ran into any real danger. His state of mind wasn't really suited for dealing with a real fight.
Rinoa…he missed her so much. He had told himself it was only a day. But it felt like an eternity.
'What's happening to me?' He wondered. 'If anyone had told me that I would feel this way a year ago I would call them crazy. Instructor Trepe, I mean Quistis would be amused. Hell I miss them as well and they've only been gone a few hours. Zell, Quistis, Selphie, Irvine, they're…my friends. Who'd have ever thought the unfeeling Squall Leonhart would end up feeling so much?' He almost smiled to himself at that thought. His friends made him feel like everything would work out. Even Commanding Garden was easier now that he came to them for help.
Ellone had returned to Esthar with Laguna Loire, but she would be coming to Timber in a few days to meet up with everyone. Just knowing where Ellone was made Squall feel better about everything, knowing that 'Sis' had never wanted to leave him, that she'd never forgotten him and that she was proud of him.
Laguna…Squall still wasn't sure exactly how he felt about his 'Father' he was a moron, but he was family. And wasn't that what Squall had always wanted when he was young? Still give it time, as Rinoa had advised.
"It'll take time Squall, but give your Father a chance. If nothing else he can tell you about your Mom."
His Mother, Raine Leonhart. Beautiful, practical Raine, who'd he only ever seen through Laguna's eyes. Raine who'd been left to die alone. Why? Squall couldn't figure that out. He had been inside Laguna's head, he knew that Raine had been Laguna's life…but then why had he left her? No, Squall already knew the answer to that. He had left to find Ellone. But what about him? Laguna and Raine's son, why hadn't Laguna ever come to get him? Could it be possible that he hadn't known that Raine's baby had lived?
"LEONHART!!!!"
The voice jerked him out of his thoughts. He looked up to see Seifer running towards him, gunblade drawn, his dark blue eyes wild. Squall narrowed his gray-blue eyes then drew his own gunblade ready to defend himself.
But to his surprise the blond did a gymnastic flip over the top of Squall's head and came down behind him. Squall spun just in time to see Seifer slash a full-grown T-Rexaur across the face.
Squall almost reeled with shock. 'I was so lost in thought I didn't hear a T-Rexaur sneaking up on me?' Part of him wondered while the other part said: 'Did Seifer just save my life?'
But there was no time to think about it now, even as Squall rushed to help Seifer, the large beast swung around sending it's massive tail smashing into both young men. Seifer fell back apparently unconscious, Squall forced himself to his knees.
"Double Protect!" He shouted, casting the spell both on himself and Seifer's fallen form.
Squall, don't you think you might need me now? A cool voice inside his head asked.
Squall allowed himself to smile a little.
'My thoughts exactly!' Squall thought to the voice before taking a step towards the monster.
"Diamond Dust!" He shouted calling on his favorite Guardian Force.
At your service… Shiva replied, as she appeared surrounded by coffin shaped layer of Ice. Squall looked over at Seifer worriedly as Shiva used her ice attack on the monster. He wasn't moving, better finish this fast.
Shiva disappeared as Squall ran towards the monster. But before he could strike the T-Rexaur scooped him up in its jaws. It was all Squall could do to hold back a scream as the massive teeth tore his flesh. Only his quick reaction saved him from certain death. Before the creature canines could clamp down on his head, Squall twisted his gunblade around stabbing it upward deep into the roof of the creature's mouth.
The monster roared in pain tossing him to the ground. Squall landed hard, but managed to roll back unto his knees. The T-Rexaur was hurt but not defeated. Squall knew another of Its attacks would probably kill him. He had reached his limit.
"RENZOKUKEN!" He shouted.
With newfound strength he leaped at the T-Rexaur, delivering blow after blow unto it's already scarred body. With the last blow he pulled the trigger of his blade sending a bullet deep into the monsters flesh. Still the monster didn't die. Squall decided to finish the fight, now!
"Lionheart!" He shouted calling on his most powerful finishing move and ending the fight-well that was what should have happened. Instead all he managed to say was:
"Lionhea-" Before the T-Rexaur's claws ripped his chest open, sending blood splattering everywhere. Squall fell back as the T-Rexaur bent towards him, it's jaws opening for the kill.
The world went into slow motion.
'I'm going to die…' Squall thought without any particular emotion. His blood was draining from his body, making him feel so tired. He couldn't feel any pain anymore, he just wanted to sleep. Suddenly a thought ripped through his mind the way the monsters teeth were about to rip through his body.
'Rinoa! No I can't leave her! I…I promise!' He tried to move but couldn't. There was nothing he could do to prevent his own death. He was helpless. Inside his mind he could hear Shiva screaming his name over and over but in his delirious state his mind heard Rinoa voice.
Squall! Squall get up! You can do it!
'No…I can't I'm sorry, Rinoa. I lov-'
NO!
"NO!!!" The voice was from outside. Not Rinoa. Squall opened his eyes a crack.
"Seifer?" He whispered.
"NO MERCY!!! FIRE CROSS!!!" His rival screamed. Squall closed his eyes to protect them from the energy blast. There was a crash as the T-Rexaur's body fell dead.
"Leonhart? Hey Leonhart, you gotta drink this!"
Squall sat up enough to take the high potion Seifer was offering him. He drank it and shut his eyes again as his wounds began to heal. He tried to sit up but he was dangerously weak from lose of blood, he sank back to the ground.
"What's wrong? You're not passing out on me are you? You should get to a Doctor! Leonhart? Can't you get up? I've already saved your skinny ass twice today and now I have to carry you the whole way back to town? Give me a break!"
Squall winced a little in pain as Seifer lifted him from the ground. Part of his mind protested at how embarrassing that was but Squall ignored it, the darkness was coming in waves.
"S-Seifer…?" he whispered trying to raise his head a little.
"What?" Came the reply. "You shouldn't talk. Rinoa would be really upset if you died."
Squall shut his eyes again as his vision blurred. He felt his head fall back but that was okay.
"….Thank you." He said softly as the darkness claimed him.
Author's note.
Ami is 'Library girl with pigtail' by da way…
So what do you think? Good, Bad? Please review!!!!
Still got no idea of plot. It was supposed to be a fanfic about Laguna and Squall, with a good lump of Zell, but so far Zell's barely featured (He'll come in soon I promise. I've become sort of obsessed with him lately!) Also Seifer seems to have stolen Squall's spotlight!!! He has a habit of trying to do that. I think it's gonna be about Squall and Seifer now. Anyway….. As Squall would say '…whatever' I hope to get the next part done soon.
Love Raven.