Secret
By Shimegami
Warnings: Shonen Ai, Dark, Angst, Xelloss thinking
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
AN: Some of you may wondering why I'm not continuing my multipart series fanfics. The problem is that I have major writer's block for them. And until
I get my muse back, I will continue to write pointless small stories like this one. If you have ideas, please, tell me!!
Secret
I sit in a tree, watching them. Like I always do. Like I always will. Lina sleeps strangely peaceful, no dreams for her tonight. Gourry simply lays on his back and
snores. I wince slightly as the horrendous sound hits my sensitive Mazoku ears. I wonder what it would be like to be brainless like him, to just accept
life as it is, and float along with no worries...no, Gourry does have worries. But they all center around Lina and his sword. As long as both are
in his sight, he really doesn't have any worries. Yes. Being brainless would be nice.
But I'm not brainless.
I sigh, and turn my ever-closed eyes to Amelia. The justice-obsessed leech...er, princess sleeps like she is awake. She thrashes about horribly, spurting
meaningless justice speeches to dream opponents. To live a life of justice. How foolish. Justice doesn't exist. The Golds believed in
it, even when they did unjustly things themselves, they always believed that in the end, justice. So I had to teach them that there was no
justice. I had to punish them for teaching me what hope is. I hate them. The princess flips over, yelling something about smiting
bandits with the Hammer of Justice. To always have hope...to always believe. I admire her for that; her tenacity to cling to her perfect world
without seeing or acknowlegding the real one. I wish she would wake up and see...no, don't wake up little princess. Stay in your perfect world,
where justice exists and good prevails. Keep your eyes closed to the dark, dreaming of light. L-sama knows that's what I should have done.
To believe in justice would be very nice indeed.
But I don't believe in justice.
My attention turns to the last one of our group, and the most painful. Zelgadis was curled up in a small ball, despite the heat, and whimpering softly.
I sigh. Another nightmare. Rezo really did leave an emotional scar on the boy. My closed eyes wandered over him. He truly is beautiful, to me, at least.
But he would never believe me. I'm just a fruitcake to him. I wish I could cure him, make all his pain go away. But he hates me. I didn't
know I could. That is, until I met Zelgadis. This had scared me, the affinity I had felt for the chimera, and had consulted my mistress. I wish I hadn't.
She told me things I had forgotten, or maybe wanted to forget. I remember now. I was human once. Long ago that if I went to my birthtown,
all that would be left was wilderness. So long. And so I could love. And I loved Zelgadis. He turns over in his sleep, suddenly peaceful, nightmares of Akahoushi Rezo
gone for now. I wonder what caused. For a brief moment I toy with the idea that he could feel my love and was reassured by it, then I dimiss the
idea as foolish. Stupid Dragons, teaching me to hope for something I could never have. Stupid, stupid Dragons. No, I must forget my love. I con't be human anymore.
I can't have feelings. I know it's hopeless. I will continue to feel. A demon with feelings. A nightmare come to life with thoughts of love.
No, I'm not a demon. I can't be one when I'm in love. I'm not a nightmare. Not anymore.
But...
But I am a secret.
~Owari~
AN: I couldn't resist the ending!!!! So...reviews? Flames? Chocolate-covered Zelgadis?
By Shimegami
Warnings: Shonen Ai, Dark, Angst, Xelloss thinking
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
AN: Some of you may wondering why I'm not continuing my multipart series fanfics. The problem is that I have major writer's block for them. And until
I get my muse back, I will continue to write pointless small stories like this one. If you have ideas, please, tell me!!
Secret
I sit in a tree, watching them. Like I always do. Like I always will. Lina sleeps strangely peaceful, no dreams for her tonight. Gourry simply lays on his back and
snores. I wince slightly as the horrendous sound hits my sensitive Mazoku ears. I wonder what it would be like to be brainless like him, to just accept
life as it is, and float along with no worries...no, Gourry does have worries. But they all center around Lina and his sword. As long as both are
in his sight, he really doesn't have any worries. Yes. Being brainless would be nice.
But I'm not brainless.
I sigh, and turn my ever-closed eyes to Amelia. The justice-obsessed leech...er, princess sleeps like she is awake. She thrashes about horribly, spurting
meaningless justice speeches to dream opponents. To live a life of justice. How foolish. Justice doesn't exist. The Golds believed in
it, even when they did unjustly things themselves, they always believed that in the end, justice. So I had to teach them that there was no
justice. I had to punish them for teaching me what hope is. I hate them. The princess flips over, yelling something about smiting
bandits with the Hammer of Justice. To always have hope...to always believe. I admire her for that; her tenacity to cling to her perfect world
without seeing or acknowlegding the real one. I wish she would wake up and see...no, don't wake up little princess. Stay in your perfect world,
where justice exists and good prevails. Keep your eyes closed to the dark, dreaming of light. L-sama knows that's what I should have done.
To believe in justice would be very nice indeed.
But I don't believe in justice.
My attention turns to the last one of our group, and the most painful. Zelgadis was curled up in a small ball, despite the heat, and whimpering softly.
I sigh. Another nightmare. Rezo really did leave an emotional scar on the boy. My closed eyes wandered over him. He truly is beautiful, to me, at least.
But he would never believe me. I'm just a fruitcake to him. I wish I could cure him, make all his pain go away. But he hates me. I didn't
know I could. That is, until I met Zelgadis. This had scared me, the affinity I had felt for the chimera, and had consulted my mistress. I wish I hadn't.
She told me things I had forgotten, or maybe wanted to forget. I remember now. I was human once. Long ago that if I went to my birthtown,
all that would be left was wilderness. So long. And so I could love. And I loved Zelgadis. He turns over in his sleep, suddenly peaceful, nightmares of Akahoushi Rezo
gone for now. I wonder what caused. For a brief moment I toy with the idea that he could feel my love and was reassured by it, then I dimiss the
idea as foolish. Stupid Dragons, teaching me to hope for something I could never have. Stupid, stupid Dragons. No, I must forget my love. I con't be human anymore.
I can't have feelings. I know it's hopeless. I will continue to feel. A demon with feelings. A nightmare come to life with thoughts of love.
No, I'm not a demon. I can't be one when I'm in love. I'm not a nightmare. Not anymore.
But...
But I am a secret.
~Owari~
AN: I couldn't resist the ending!!!! So...reviews? Flames? Chocolate-covered Zelgadis?