Chapter 3 – Poor Little Rich Girl

I walk with my husband down the hallway holding his hand in the false pretense that him and I are going to work things out. In my other hand I have Kurt's medals. I avoid the accusing glares that have judged before they know me or even know the entire story. I'm used to this already. This is the price that I pay as Daddy's Little Girl. I guess I brought it on myself for being friends with Kurt Angle.

Kurt was my friend. Why do I say 'was'? I don't even know where him and I stand anymore. I should be a good wife and be thinking of Triple H. A good wife…who has a good friend and a good husband…and now all good things come to an end. I want to have my cake and eat it too. Kurt and Hunter. I wish I could have them both at the same time without having to worry about hurting the other one. Caught between a rock and a hard place that all the wrestlers are saying I put myself in. I love him. And I love him too.

Hunter. I don't know what to say to him. He won't listen to anything I say, so the best I can do is hold his hand while we make our way down this dreaded path and act like we are the same Golden Couple we were before I slept with Kurt. There is no denying what I did with him tonight. I wanted to put it behind us and just make things work for Hunter and I. I feel like my body is splitting in two and one half is running to Hunter and the other is jumping in Kurt's arms. They both have a piece of me inside of them and I have them creeping in my mind and thoughts.

Fighting for to be the number one man in my heart.

Kurt Angle has taken over my thoughts. He has ever since he came to the World Wrestling Federation. We had our fun times when he taught me his wrestling moves, when he put a smile on my face, and when we played cards in the Skylight Café. One time, we went out to get some snacks before a house show and we sat backstage munching on Ritz crackers and an apple pie. I had gotten pie crumbs on the corners of my mouth and Kurt wiped them off letting his finger run smoothly over my lips. You're such a messy eater, he had said with a cocky smirk. Hunter's face looms in my vision, shattering any hope that Kurt and I can become any closer because of the marriage vows I have sworn to live by.

Kurt said that it hasn't stopped me from doing what I wanted. He is right, whether I want to admit it or not. I broke them…and I do feel regret for it. Seeing Hunter try to annihilate him is one thing. Facing his angry stare and turning his back on me is another thing and I realize that in stabbing him in the back, I have also stabbed myself. I'm not the ice bitch everyone thinks I am or wants to believe. I never wanted to hurt Hunter. Don't get me wrong…I have tried talking to Hunter and telling him how I feel about us and how it doesn't seem to be working out the way I or him would like. Yesterday, when Kurt walked me back to the locker room I wanted to explain to him, but he had run out before I could say anything. Today I tried talking to him again, before the Smackdown taping.

"We have to talk," I had told him.

Lately he had been upset, but for once he seemed okay. He actually had love glowing in his eyes. A rarity these days.

"What's up?"

A lump formed in my throat that I tried to swallow and forget about.

"I…I—Well…"

He never took his eyes off me and I felt like he was examining me close up. The name "Kurt" formed on my lips because I wanted to reassure him that what he thinks is happening isn't happening at all and that his friends are just talking junk to him. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt him.

Intentionally being the key word.

"I'm waiting," he said as he took off his shirt, his chest heaved with pressure that was about to explode.

Nothing I say will convince him of what he already thinks. So I told him something different. It wasn't a lie; it was closer to the truth than he would ever believe.

"I love you. That's all."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and stared at the ground.

"Steph?"

"Yes." I glanced at him.

"I love you too. I really do. Just looking out for you. I don't trust Kurt…he isn't as kosher as he seems."

"I know."

"Good. Well, I'll be right back. Tonight I'm coming back here straight after my match with Rock."

He had put his shirt back on and packed a water bottle, a change of clothes, and left our hotel room to go exercise in the weight room. Before he walked out the door, he had kissed me on the cheek and then on the lips.

"Bye babe."

As I had watched him walk down the hallway, I knew in my heart that I had failed once again. Kurt had come right to my room after Hunter left to check how I was. I had nearly cried for how Hunter works hard in the ring and in our relationship. The tears stayed there and didn't flow. Kurt hugged me when he saw the expression on my face and whispered in my ear if we were still on for tonight. I knew I had to deny him. And I didn't. I just nodded my head and gave him a second hug. Then he had also left to go work out for his match with Chris Jericho. Watching Kurt finally made the tears become real and genuine.

I love Hunter with all my heart to the point where tears glisten in my eyes.

But Kurt…Kurt makes the tears fall from my eyes and streak my cheeks.

It's been fun, but now I have to let you go, Kurt.

I wanted to tell him this tonight, before Hunter beat the hell out of him. He doesn't know it, nor does he have a clue. Or maybe he does. When I held hands with Hunter to get the medals, I saw how I ripped his heart out of his chest with that one single gesture to my husband. This is why I have to end it all. Hunter is hurting and so is Kurt. If I let him go…then he won't be hurt anymore and at least he can go on with his life. There is always the possibility that he will still want to have our more than platonic "friendship" back. Well, I guess I want it back too. I was going to tell him this until he started acting like a jerk. That's what threw me off. For the first time I wondered if he just wanted to bed me so he could brag in the locker room that he slept with millions of dollars. That's probably what I am to him. Dollar signs. Power. The strength of the name "McMahon." I would say the same about Hunter, except that he defended me tonight…so maybe he isn't like that. Or he can just see through Kurt and see what I can't or don't want to see.

Kurt doesn't want to let go. I already sense this from the way he is looking at Hunter and I come towards him and Mick. Commissioner Foley just wants to sleep. Kurt is leaning against the wall with his arms folded across his chest and Mick doesn't look too successful talking to him. Our eyes meet for a moment, just as they had the first time I met him. This time it's a sad dead look like he has lost his arm and leg in one day. As if someone stole his gold medals and pissed on them. I shift my eyes away and look straight ahead past him.

He should be happy—he got what he wanted. A private show and screening of Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley undressed. He merged himself into my marriage, but I was the gateway who granted him entrance. I want to stay friends with him, but that probably isn't possible. Not after tonight it isn't. I wasn't having an affair with him even though it seems like that to everyone else. I'm not a slut. Married women have good male friends that aren't their husbands, so why is it such a big deal when I have one?

I shake my head trying to clear my thoughts.

"Are you okay?" Hunter asks and he looks at me as if he doesn't know who I am.

"I'm fine," I murmur.

"Good."

I squeeze his hand with reassurance and he squeezes mine in return. He turns to me and my eyes glaze over with coldness and defiance. My tear ducts are dry like the Sahara Desert. I've done it before in front of my parents and Shane. It always unravels them because they don't know me as much as they'd like to think they do. Hunter isn't unraveled at all. He just grins, narrows his hazel eyes, and nods his head in his imagined triumph.

We continue our trek to Commissioner Mick. In less than sixty seconds, we'll be there and I'll give Kurt his urine stained medals. I tried to wash them. Hunter is so disgusting. What will I say to Kurt? That we are over? Our friendship is gone? Because even though I want to let him go…there is a strong part of me that is demanding for me to tell him to stay and still be my "friend." No…I have to let him go…even if he wants to stay. Maybe one day…we'll finally be together in the way that I always dreamed we would be since the first day I met him.