Cliché
MISSION 02: More fun with self-insertions!
Somewhere deep in space, a lone soul drifted about aimlessly. She had felt emotion, nothing mattered to her except The Mission. She was, for lack of a better term, the Perfect Soldier. Not only that, but she, conveniently, was drop-dead gorgeous, a pro athlete, a master chef, a musical genius, and a computer hacker. Adding to that extensive resumé, she also possessed great people skills, was Heero Yuy's long lost sister, and was the lover of all the other Gundam pilots, even though she'd never met them before. Her name: Mary Sue Yuy.
---
A-ko and B-ko had no idea what was going on. One minute, Heero Yuy was a crying heap on the floor, and now he was shifting between having uncontrollable spasms and doing the Macarena.
"It's… it's…!" Heero gasped, starting to regain control of himself.
"C'mon boy, you can tell us…" B-ko tempted him with some pocky.
"…!"
"What?! Little Timmy fell into a black hole?! Take us to 'im, boy!"
"No, no, no!" A-ko corrected. "He speaking in punctuationese."
B-ko, once again, was confused. "What kind of language is that?"
"It's the language spoken by all silent video game and anime protagonists. Now, lemme see if I can translate. Hrm…"
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick…
A-ko suddenly looked very frightened and screamed, "HOLY CRAP!"
"What is it, A-ko?"
"The author is doing a SELF-INSERTION!"
The two girls' screams of horror echoed throughout Peacemillion.
".," agreed Heero.
---
Elsewhere on the ship, the rest of the G-boys were frantically searching for Heero.
"He's not in his quarters!" called Trowa.
Wufei answered, "He's not in the mess hall, either!"
"I checked the women's showers thoroughly, and believe me, Heero was not in there. But, man, you guys sure missed out!"
Everyone gave Duo the look of doom, except for Quatre, who had turned bright red and started choking on his own saliva. His facial color quickly changed from red to blue. Then he collapsed.
This caused Trowa to become even more aggravated at the braided one. "Duo, I think you killed Quatre," Trowa stated, in his most monotone/angry voice.
"I think he's faking it," said Wufei. "What's the big deal about a few silly onnas?"
Duo grinned. "Silly, naked, onnas."
"Screw Heero!" the three boys thought, as they looked at each other, smirked, and headed off in the direction of the women's showers, leaving poor Quatre to die.
---
Unbeknowest to the passengers and crew of Peacemillion, Mary Sue and her mobile suit had snuck aboard. She silently wandered the twisting passages of the ship, exploring her new surroundings. Turning the corner, she found a handsome blond-haired boy passed out on the floor. Using her mad medical skillz, she soon revived him.
"Who… are you?" questioned Quatre, as he opened his eyes.
"My name is Mary Sue Yuy. I have come to assist you pilots, and my brother, in kicking some major ass. I am a pro athlete, master chef, college graduate, expert computer hacker, certified babysitter, veterinarian, doctor, dentist, aerobics instructor, flight attendant, trash collector, newspaper delivery girl, carpenter, gardener, interior designer, dancer, bartender, substitute teacher, and, if you don't mind me saying, drop-dead gorgeous!"
With every word Mary Sue spoke, Quatre's eyes became larger and larger. Mary Sue patted him on the back.
"Yes, I know, it's really hard to take in all at once, isn't it, honey?"
Quatre looked horrified.
"And yes, I am also your lover."
With that, Quatre ran away screaming, in search of the other G-boys.
---
A-ko, B-ko, and Heero, meanwhile, had donned their Australian safari gear, complete with authentic accents.
"Crikey, I can smell'er! She's definitely been through here, eh."
B-ko nodded. She fell into step behind A-ko, searching for the elusive self-insertion "That's odd," she thought to herself. B-ko leaned forward and whispered to A-ko and Heero. "It seems like someone is following us.
The three quickly spun around to come face to face with none other than Mary Sue Yuy herself. "Brother!" she screeched, running to embrace him. "I've finally found you!"
"Bloody 'ell! It seems that we've found the creature in an unpleasant mood," A-ko stated into her tape recorder. "Heero, be careful, mate."
Heero struggled not to regurgitate his last three meals as the monster suffocated him. She started babbling on and on… and on… and on… Then she looked at him and said, "Heero, don't you remember me? I'm your long lost sister Mary Sue!"
"I never had a sister."
"You do now, the author wrote herself into the plot. You were hit by a truck at age four and got amnesia. I never got to see you again after the accident, because social services took you away."
Heero groaned, and A-ko and B-ko both sighed.
"Oh well, we've heard worse…" A-ko shrugged.
Heero suddenly remembered something, and whispered to A-ko and B-ko. They both got huge grins on their faces and nodded.
"Hey Mary Sue?" asked B-ko. "You wanna come with us? When we get where we're going, you can show us all the skills you have that make you the best Gundam pilot.
Mary Sue cheerfully agreed. "Oh, okay! But… how did you know I'm pilot of Gundam 06, the strongest mobile suit ever made? It was my top secret mission!"
A-ko shrugged again. "Lucky guess."
The strange group eventually made its way to their destination: right outside Storage Bay 4. "Sooo… Why did we come down here, of all places?" asked Mary Sue.
A-ko and B-ko looked at Heero, who grabbed Mary Sue by the arm, opened the door, and threw the pitiful self-insertion inside. After making sure that the 15 security locks on the door were armed, Heero led the way to the main level of the ship.
"Heero?" questioned A-ko.
"…"
"What are you gonna do with her Gundam?
"Where do you think all of our spare parts come from?"
"Oh, I see! So she's not the first self-insertion you guys have had, then?"
Heero stared A-ko straight in the eye and said, "Hell no!"
(Author's note – And it certainly won't be your last! Mwahahahahahahaaaaaaaa!)
Heero scowled. "Shit. Ominous laughter. That can only mean one thing…"
"IT'S THE AUTHOR!"
(Author's note – That's me!)BR
There's more on the way!
MISSION 02: More fun with self-insertions!
Somewhere deep in space, a lone soul drifted about aimlessly. She had felt emotion, nothing mattered to her except The Mission. She was, for lack of a better term, the Perfect Soldier. Not only that, but she, conveniently, was drop-dead gorgeous, a pro athlete, a master chef, a musical genius, and a computer hacker. Adding to that extensive resumé, she also possessed great people skills, was Heero Yuy's long lost sister, and was the lover of all the other Gundam pilots, even though she'd never met them before. Her name: Mary Sue Yuy.
---
A-ko and B-ko had no idea what was going on. One minute, Heero Yuy was a crying heap on the floor, and now he was shifting between having uncontrollable spasms and doing the Macarena.
"It's… it's…!" Heero gasped, starting to regain control of himself.
"C'mon boy, you can tell us…" B-ko tempted him with some pocky.
"…!"
"What?! Little Timmy fell into a black hole?! Take us to 'im, boy!"
"No, no, no!" A-ko corrected. "He speaking in punctuationese."
B-ko, once again, was confused. "What kind of language is that?"
"It's the language spoken by all silent video game and anime protagonists. Now, lemme see if I can translate. Hrm…"
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick…
A-ko suddenly looked very frightened and screamed, "HOLY CRAP!"
"What is it, A-ko?"
"The author is doing a SELF-INSERTION!"
The two girls' screams of horror echoed throughout Peacemillion.
".," agreed Heero.
---
Elsewhere on the ship, the rest of the G-boys were frantically searching for Heero.
"He's not in his quarters!" called Trowa.
Wufei answered, "He's not in the mess hall, either!"
"I checked the women's showers thoroughly, and believe me, Heero was not in there. But, man, you guys sure missed out!"
Everyone gave Duo the look of doom, except for Quatre, who had turned bright red and started choking on his own saliva. His facial color quickly changed from red to blue. Then he collapsed.
This caused Trowa to become even more aggravated at the braided one. "Duo, I think you killed Quatre," Trowa stated, in his most monotone/angry voice.
"I think he's faking it," said Wufei. "What's the big deal about a few silly onnas?"
Duo grinned. "Silly, naked, onnas."
"Screw Heero!" the three boys thought, as they looked at each other, smirked, and headed off in the direction of the women's showers, leaving poor Quatre to die.
---
Unbeknowest to the passengers and crew of Peacemillion, Mary Sue and her mobile suit had snuck aboard. She silently wandered the twisting passages of the ship, exploring her new surroundings. Turning the corner, she found a handsome blond-haired boy passed out on the floor. Using her mad medical skillz, she soon revived him.
"Who… are you?" questioned Quatre, as he opened his eyes.
"My name is Mary Sue Yuy. I have come to assist you pilots, and my brother, in kicking some major ass. I am a pro athlete, master chef, college graduate, expert computer hacker, certified babysitter, veterinarian, doctor, dentist, aerobics instructor, flight attendant, trash collector, newspaper delivery girl, carpenter, gardener, interior designer, dancer, bartender, substitute teacher, and, if you don't mind me saying, drop-dead gorgeous!"
With every word Mary Sue spoke, Quatre's eyes became larger and larger. Mary Sue patted him on the back.
"Yes, I know, it's really hard to take in all at once, isn't it, honey?"
Quatre looked horrified.
"And yes, I am also your lover."
With that, Quatre ran away screaming, in search of the other G-boys.
---
A-ko, B-ko, and Heero, meanwhile, had donned their Australian safari gear, complete with authentic accents.
"Crikey, I can smell'er! She's definitely been through here, eh."
B-ko nodded. She fell into step behind A-ko, searching for the elusive self-insertion "That's odd," she thought to herself. B-ko leaned forward and whispered to A-ko and Heero. "It seems like someone is following us.
The three quickly spun around to come face to face with none other than Mary Sue Yuy herself. "Brother!" she screeched, running to embrace him. "I've finally found you!"
"Bloody 'ell! It seems that we've found the creature in an unpleasant mood," A-ko stated into her tape recorder. "Heero, be careful, mate."
Heero struggled not to regurgitate his last three meals as the monster suffocated him. She started babbling on and on… and on… and on… Then she looked at him and said, "Heero, don't you remember me? I'm your long lost sister Mary Sue!"
"I never had a sister."
"You do now, the author wrote herself into the plot. You were hit by a truck at age four and got amnesia. I never got to see you again after the accident, because social services took you away."
Heero groaned, and A-ko and B-ko both sighed.
"Oh well, we've heard worse…" A-ko shrugged.
Heero suddenly remembered something, and whispered to A-ko and B-ko. They both got huge grins on their faces and nodded.
"Hey Mary Sue?" asked B-ko. "You wanna come with us? When we get where we're going, you can show us all the skills you have that make you the best Gundam pilot.
Mary Sue cheerfully agreed. "Oh, okay! But… how did you know I'm pilot of Gundam 06, the strongest mobile suit ever made? It was my top secret mission!"
A-ko shrugged again. "Lucky guess."
The strange group eventually made its way to their destination: right outside Storage Bay 4. "Sooo… Why did we come down here, of all places?" asked Mary Sue.
A-ko and B-ko looked at Heero, who grabbed Mary Sue by the arm, opened the door, and threw the pitiful self-insertion inside. After making sure that the 15 security locks on the door were armed, Heero led the way to the main level of the ship.
"Heero?" questioned A-ko.
"…"
"What are you gonna do with her Gundam?
"Where do you think all of our spare parts come from?"
"Oh, I see! So she's not the first self-insertion you guys have had, then?"
Heero stared A-ko straight in the eye and said, "Hell no!"
(Author's note – And it certainly won't be your last! Mwahahahahahahaaaaaaaa!)
Heero scowled. "Shit. Ominous laughter. That can only mean one thing…"
"IT'S THE AUTHOR!"
(Author's note – That's me!)BR
There's more on the way!