The IDIMTUAIGA Retirement Home! Prologue to Insanity
Written, Edited and Whipped into Submission by Saturnine13
[Author's Apology: Ah, beginings. I suck at beginings. But
some would say I suck at writing period, so decide for yourself.]
Rated G, despite minimal homosexual hinting.
"A familiar situation to any author: the fanficcer, with
her head in her hands, sitting at a desk, battling the evil
'Writer's Block'; demon with nothing more than a pen and
a few crumpled pieces of paper. It's times like these that we
wonder why we bother to write; to put ourselves through this
daily torture-"
Stephanie: "Guys, could you please STOP
ARGUING!!!! I'm trying to write!"
Chibi Tamahome and Chibi Tasuki look up; Tamahome looking
rather singed, and Tasuki displaying his cute little fangs in an
evil grin.
Stephanie: "I know you two like to
flirt-"
Chibi Tamahome and Chibi Tasuki: *Glare*
Stephanie: "BUT IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP RIGHT
NOW I'LL NEVER FINISH THIS ESSAY AND YOU GUYS ARE GONNA PAY FOR
IT!!!"
Chibi Tamahome and Chibi Tasuki shuffle slowly out the door.
Stephanie sighs, and picks up her pen.
"-for a scrap of inspiration which may or may not turn
out to be the next best-seller-"
A rather loud crash is heard in the next room. Stephanie
slumps in her chair and moans. Reluctantly, she leaves her cozy
den to see what the chibis have done now...
Stephanie: "MY KITCHEN!!!"
In the middle of the mess (of which we shall not go into
detail, let us leave it at 'utter destruction'), Chibi Lina and
Chibi Gourry sit fighting over a box of animal crackers.
Chibi Lina: "Let GO I saw it FIRST!!"
Chibi Gourry: "No FAIR you ate the other
boxes!"
Stephanie starts bawling Niagara Falls style.
Stephanie: "Will I ever get any writing
done?!"
Chibi Zelgadis: "I doubt it, with so many
of us around." *Looks around at the hordes of chibis*
Stephanie: "What brand of crack was I on
to offer to house all these homeless chibis?"
A doorbell rings. Chibi Duo runs to answer it, and Sylphiel
(normal sized, not chibi) enters.
Stephanie: "Thank L-sama you're here,
Sylphy-chan!" *Kneels at Sylphiel's feet and continues
bawling* "The chibis are driving me insane, and I can't
get any writing done..."
Sylphiel: "Oh, Stephanie-san, this happens
every day. Maybe taking care of all these chibis is too much for
you."
Stephanie: *sniff* "But without
these chibis I don't have any fanfiction!"
Sylphiel: "Well, maybe you should start a
new fanfiction series." *Plays with Chibi Duo*
Stephanie: "Like what? I've had lots of
ideas, but they don't really pan out..." *blinks*
"Where are my manners, would you like something to eat or
drink?" *Leads Sylphiel to the kitchen, where the Chibi
Slayers have vanished, but the destruction remains. They kneel
down with cups of tea (appearing from who knows where). Random
chibis continue playing in the background*
Sylphiel: "If only Filia-san were here to
enjoy this lovely tea with us."
Stephanie: "Where is she, anyway? She
usually drops by with you to pick on the chibi Xellos and drink
tea with us."
Sylphiel: "She and the others are out
looking for a place to stay."
Stephanie: "Whatever for? Aren't you guys
living with Takashi Watanabe?"
Sylphiel: *tears up* "He's busy
with a new series, Try-Zenon or something, and we're left without
a home." *Chibi Vash walks over and pats her shoulder
comfortingly*
Stephanie sits quietly for a minute, then a huge light bulb
appears over her head and lights up.
Stephanie: "THAT'S IT!!" *jumps
up and hits her head on the light bulb*
Sylphiel: *Playing with Chibi Vash, not
paying much attention.* "What?"
Stephanie: "I have a new mission in life! I
made an orphanage for homeless chibis, and now I shall make
*dramatic music* a retirement home for anime and video game
characters whose series are over!"
Sylphiel: *claps* "What a
wonderful idea! Then we'll all have a place to live together!
It'll be so much fun." *Smiles brightly*
Stephanie: *twirls around, and henshins into
the Squarefairy* "Yatta! I will go call the contractors
right now!" *Disappears in a poof of pink smoke, leaving
Sylphiel to clean up the kitchen*
Sylphiel: "Oh dear, what have I
started?"
