Lost and Found
By: rainjewel
A/N: Well, here is the latest installment of Lost and Found: The Alternate Ending. A lot of people seemed to think that my last chapter was indeed, the last chapter of this story. HA! I had you all fooled! No, this story isn't complete. This current chapter isn't the completion either. I promise I'll tell you when I'm fully done with this little tale of mine! Anyway, as always, R&R (please keep rainjewel happy, she's almost sane when she's happy). Oh, and my spell/grammar check seems to have died on my computer (I've tried everything to restore it, trust me) so you'll have to excuse the spelling/grammar errors. I think I got most of them, but I could be wrong. But lets move on. TTFN (ta-ta for now)!!
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Migel
Oh yes! I'm the man! I'm kissing Hitomi! Take that Allen Schezar, you pansy! Oh, what'll the guys think…
The guys. I'll never see them again.
Suddenly my feelings plummet from elation to sadness. Hitomi pulls away from me, sensing a subtle change in my demeanor. Her face is flushed, and her green eyes are full of insecurity.
"I'm sorry," she says a little breathlessly. "That was dumb wasn't it?"
"No," I say with a small, forced grin, "It most certainly was not." Hitomi smiles lazily in response, and I stare at her flushed face and somewhat tangled hair for a few moments. Then with a sudden urgency I take her in my arms and bring her close to my chest, resting my cheek upon her honey-colored hair.
"Ryan?" Hitomi asks questioningly, her arms weaving their ways around my sides. I close my eyes, concentrating only on the small comfort her hands give me.
"I can never go back, can I?" I whisper into her hair. I feel Hitomi hold me a little tighter.
"Would you?" Hitomi says, her breath warm on my shoulder. "Do you want to?" she asks tremulously.
For a minute I say nothing. Visions from my past flood my mind. I see the Dragon Slayers; Chesta's sweet face smiling at me, Dalet's cavalier wink, and Gatti sighing at the whole mess. I feel the warm comfortability I've always held for the Dragon Slayers set into my heart. They are my brothers.
My thoughts move onto Dilandau. The prideful red armor, cool white skin, princely smirk, horridly entrancing crimson eyes, gold glinting diadem, and finally the suave flip of his star-colored hair. My heart lurches as his face curls into one of those rare smiles he's given me at night, when he's relaxed or deems me worthy enough of some true emotion. The Dragon Slayers are my brothers, but Dilandau is my god. And now I am a blasphemer.
As my heart sinks to my toes, I hug Hitomi a little closer. Hitomi! Though I feel brotherly love with the Dragon Slayers, and…some type of love for Dilandau, nothing compares to the joy and the love I feel for Hitomi.
"Would you?" Hitomi asks again.
"No," I finally reply, "I wouldn't leave you."
Hitomi draws her head out from under mine and searches my eyes for second. I smile reassuringly at her.
"Good," she replies, grinning back at me. She then hugs me hard and buries her head in my neck, kissing it softly. I feel shivers run up and down my spine.
"My my, aren't we the little hellcat?" I ask amusedly.
"Nah, I'm actually a vampire," Hitomi mumbles into my throat. Suddenly she nips my neck and I gasp rather loudly.
"Why you!…" I begin to say, and then decide on another course of action. Quickly I scoop Hitomi up in my arms. She gasps as her feet unexpectedly leave the ground.
"Well, you have been quite a naughty little girl," I say with the most wicked grin I can muster, "go to my room." Hitomi opens her mouth in mock disgust and then giggles.
"Sounds nice, but there's one problem," Hitomi says.
"Oh," I say, kissing her lips lightly, "and what's that?"
"You don't have a room," Hitomi says with glaring obviousness.
"Damn, forgot about that," I say. Slowly I lower her to the ground, letting her out of my grasp. I kiss her again, though this time a bit more deeply. Watch it Labariel. Mind your manners.
"We need to get back to Van and the others," Hitomi says, gently pushing me away. She's grinning encouragingly, but her eyes tell me that I should probably heed her words.
Great, which one do I heed? God, women are confusing.
"But isn't this more fun?" I ask, moving behind her and nibbling on her ear.
"What is more fun isn't always what you should do," Hitomi says in a gentle chastising tone.
"Yes Mother," I reply, smiling. I kiss her temple, take her hand and we begin to walk towards the palace doors.
"Ryan?" Hitomi asks after a bit. We're now walking down the corridor, nearing the prison cell where Hitomi was held earlier tonight.
"Yes?" I say.
"Were you telling the truth about Zaibach? About them invading tomorrow?" Hitomi asks softly.
Tomorrow. That's so soon.
"Yes, for the most part. I don't know if they're invading tomorrow exactly, but it'll come in the next couple of days," I reply.
Hitomi opens her mouth to ask something else, but I quickly stop her and kiss her, covering her question with my lips. I know what she's going to ask, and I don't want to answer.
"What are…" Hitomi begins when I pull myself away.
"Don't—" I breathe.
"…you going to do about it?" Hitomi finishes in a voice so quiet you can hardly hear it. Her eyes are deep and searching. I feel my body stiffen into stone.
"I…I don't know," I say, looking away.
"Well, you can't fight against them," Hitomi says. "You're wounded and you don't have a guymelef."
Not to mention I don't have the heart for fighting my brothers. Folken may be able to wage a war on his own flesh and blood, but I'm not about too.
…But…they'll kill Hitomi. Not to mention Van and her other friends.
I look down into the face of the girl I love. Her eyes are shining up at me, looking at me with a quizzical expression.
If she died, I'd die too. And if Van or any of his buddies die, it would destroy her.
Well, there is no way in hell I'm letting that happen.
"Hitomi, I know Zaibach battle strategies and I can guess as to what Dilandau's going to do," I say. Everyone should know what Dilandau's going to do. Attack Van, burn things, cackle insanely, repeat. You know, the usual. "And if that doesn't work I can always become a foot soldier," I add on as an afterthought.
"No you're not!" Hitomi says fiercely. I almost jump with the harshness of her words. "Foot soldiers always die first," she explains, hugging me around the waist. "I just found you Ryan, I'm not going to lose you again."
I smile and kiss the top of her head. It's a change for someone to actually tell me they care about me.
"You're not going to lose me Hitomi, I promise," I reply softly into her downy hair.
"Ahem!" someone coughs from the background. I let go of Hitomi quickly and she does the same. I pray to God it isn't a guard. No, it's just—
"Gadeth!" Hitomi calls out. "You're okay!"
Gadeth blushes. "Uh, yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"
"I just thought that maybe…oh nevermind, I don't know why I thought that either," Hitomi says, making a dramatic gesture with her hands.
"What brings you up here?" I ask politely. I don't quite know how to act around this man now that we're on the same side. Our last meeting resulted with him being locked in a prison cell and having his head beat upon until he was unconscious. All done by me.
Smooth move, Labariel. Beat up your allies. Show some real Zaibach diplomacy Wait, Zaibach doesn't have diplomacy—Unless you consider Folken smooth-talking the bejesus out of everyone diplomacy.
"Uh, kid?" Gadeth interjects into my thoughts.
"Yes?" I ask, shaking my head. Hitomi and Gadeth are giving me strange looks.
"I came up here to retrieve you. You have to spend the night in the Crusade." Gadeth says.
"Oh, why?" I ask. This is an interesting new development.
"Because we haven't told Prince Chid about you yet. Here, come on and I'll explain as we go," Gadeth says, walking up and grabbing me by the arm. I almost flinch reflexively out of his grasp, but I catch myself in time so as not to make a complete moron out of myself. In Zaibach, casual male acquaintences do not touch eachother. Only good friends casually acknowledge eachother through physical contact.
"Anyway, Boss—that'd be Allen—went and talked to Prince Chid I guess after you rescued the King and the little lady here," Gadeth begins, nodding in Hitomi's direction. "He snuck into the Prince's quarters and chatted about things with him, and everything's squared away."
Gadeth keeps chatting away as we walk through the halls and board the Crusade. For the most part I ignore him, until he suddenly stops and I almost plow right into him. Hitomi thankfully notices this and pulls me back.
Labariel, pay attention before you become a total ass! A half-trained monkey is more observant then you! Snap out of it!
"Here we are!" Gadeth says. "I'll let you in kid, and then I'll walk you back." Gadeth motions to Hitomi, who's face falls.
"Where am I going?" Hitomi asks.
"You're rooming with that crazy catgirl in the palace," Gadeth explains.
"Oh," says Hitomi. Suddenly her face brightens. She winks at me. "That's okay Gadeth, I'll go by myself. See you boys tomorrow."
And with that she kisses my cheek and quickly walks away down the hall.
Something is not right about that. Hitomi does not wink.
"She is one strange girl," Gadeth says, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I smile and nod, staring at Hitomi's retreating back. Yeah buddy, and she's in love with me.
I return my gaze to Gadeth who is gingerly touching his head. I wince, knowing that I'm the cause.
"Hey, I'm sorry about that," I say, motioning to Gadeth's head. He smiles grimly.
"It's all alright," he says, "I probably would have done the same thing had I been in your situation."
"That doesn't make me feel any better," I reply in a half-amused voice. Gadeth laughs.
"Actually, I'm impressed that you were able to escape a locked jail, knock me out, and then drag me into that stinky cell," Gadeth says. I smile in response.
"Well," I say, "if it makes you feel any better, I ripped a few stitches putting you in there."
"Really?" Gadeth asks increduously.
"Yeah," I reply. I take my hand and lift my makeshift shirt, revealing the wound. My left side, which is covered in dry blood, is stiff and sore. Gadeth looks at me quizzically.
"You only ripped one stitch, and it wasn't an important one. Other than that you've simply agitated it," he says.
I look it him, trying hard to hide my skepticism. No offense to him personnally, but he's not a doctor, as far as I know. He catches my look, and smiles sheepishly.
"When Dilandau…" —Don't say that name. I hate hearing other people say his name like that— "…hurt the Boss, I helped Millerna-hime in his surgery," Gadeth says. I offer him a weak smile, still stung by the casual mention of my commander… make that ex-commander.
"After that I kind of got interested in this medical whatnot," Gadeth continues, his voice growing with barely contained excitement. "I've been reading books! Oh!" he pauses, scratching his chin, "that reminds me, I have to go check on Boss. He's still hurt pretty bad, no matter what he thinks. You can't recover from injuries like that in a couple of days."
Dilandau…
"Well, I best be going, see you later…Ryan, wasn't it?" Gadeth asks. Quickly he takes some keys from his pocket.
"Yes, Ryan. Goodbye, Sergeant Gadeth," I reply. I fight to keep my voice strong. I have never addressed anyone other than Folken, Dornkirk and Dilandau with a title. It pains me to hear it used on Gadeth, who lacks all of the grace, aristocracy, and downright mystery that I associate with higher ranking officers.
"You don't have to call me that! Anyways, I'll wake ya in the morning," Gadeth says, then trots off down the hall and slips away.
With a sigh I lean my head against the door. I don't want to think about what I've done, who I've betrayed, and every other thought that's running through my rampant mind. I turn the knob and all but fall into the room.
The room's nothing fancy, just a bed, chest of drawers, and a tiny bathroom off to the side. I walk into the latter. I turn on the cold water and take off my cloak. Quickly I soak it in ice cold water. The cold liquid numbs my fingers.
Yes, numb my fingers. Numb my aching body, numb breaking heart. I know I should be happy with Hitomi, but I can't separate myself from him just yet.
Slowly I clean my wound. The pressure of the black cloth stings, and I smile. The pain feels good. Ah, first I'm a traitor, and now a masochist. All in one day, not bad…
…"You're never going to die Migel. You are immortal. You are one of my best Dragon Slayers and you'll never have to worry about anything for I will always be there."…
…"Hai! Dilandau-sama?"…
…"Yes? You can speak freely, but it better be good."…
…"I will always be there for you."…
…"Good. I like that in my Dragon Slayers."…
And then he smiled, remember? A true smile.
I wince at the memories. Throwing the ragged cloak in the waste basket, I walk over to the bed. Quickly I toss off my pants, leaving me only in some stupid heart-print boxers Gatti bought me as a gag gift. Even though he looks like a serious individual, he has a very quirky sense of humor.
And you'll be fighting him tomorrow.
Suddenly there's a large pain in my chest. Involuntarily my hand flies to my wound, even though I know that's not the cause of the pain. Holding back a sob that threatens to escape my lips, I lie down on the bed, curling my body into a fetal position. Everything I've been holding in erupts in my heart like pus from an infected wound. The pain I feel from betraying Dilandau washes over me in a large crimson wave. I feel a solitary tear trickle down my cheek. To Dilandau, tears make a man weak. Well, I suppose I am a weakling. And here we are, back to the entire metal and pudding choice all over again. Another tear slips down my cheek.
I'm sorry Gatti, I'm sorry Chesta, I'm sorry Dalet. And to you I am the most apologetic, Dilandau-sama.
The door to my room opens with a soft creak. I hear someone step inside, then shut the door quickly.
"Ryan?" Hitomi's voice whispers through the darkness. My heart blinks with joy, but I instantly shut my eyes tight, feigning sleep. I don't want her to see me like this. I hear her small feet padding over to the bed.
"So, you fell asleep without me?" she whispers amusedly. From where her voice is coming from, I'd say she's facing my back, but I can't be certain with my eyes closed. I hear her footsteps retreating. I strain to hear where they go.
What in the hell is she doing? Where is she going?
Suddenly a soft, velvety blanket envelopes my body. I almost flinch at the unexpected touch of the soft fabric, but I manage to keep my reflexes under control.
So that's what you're going to use all of your Dragon Slayers' training for Labariel? Dilandau's voice booms in my head. Restraining yourself from flinching away from velvet blankets? Well, at least these talents are not going to waste.
But Dilandau's voice is muffled when I feel Hitomi's tiny, soothing hands on my body, adjusting the blanket. Her hands are like balm, soothing my heart and numbing the pain. They drift to my hair, ruffling it affectionately, but then travel to my cheek. Suddenly they jerk back as if something's burned them.
"What?" I hear Hitomi's soft whisper. Her hand brushes my face again. Oh no—
"Tears!" she says a little more fiercely. Oh shit.
"Oh Ryan," Hitomi breathes. I feel her lips on my cheek. Hitomi's hands may have been soothing, but they don't even hold a candle to this. I can barely contain the urge to reach up and kiss her.
This is where belong. Hitomi makes me happier then anyone else can.
I open my eyes. Hitomi's profile floods my vision. She appears to be wearing a very large shirt that hangs down to her knees. Whatever. Doesn't matter to me what she's wearing. All that matters is that she's here with me.
"Hitomi," I whisper.
"Ryan!" she exclaims. Her lips curve into a smile, but then turn into a frown.
I smile back at her disarmingly (or, at least I hope it is). Swiftly I sit up in bed, motioning for her to sit down beside me. Hitomi complies and sits on the edge of the bed. I take the blanket and put it around her shoulders. I then realize that I'm sitting here in nothing but my ridiculous boxers, but it's too late to stop now. Gently I wrap my arms around her and lean her body against my chest while I lean against the headboard. Hitomi makes no sound and complies easily, but the frown hasn't left her face.
"Hey," I whisper, kissing her ear, "it's okay."
"Why were you crying?" Hitomi asks, leaning her head back on my shoulder. "You never cry."
"Just feeling a little…Vione-sick." I answer.
"You love him a lot, don't you?" Hitomi asks bluntly. I stiffen at the sudden remark.
"Yes," I reply. Ouch, that was a nice wound I didn't need reopened. Hell, who am I kidding, it was never closed. Quickly I wipe my face dry.
"Great. I'm trying to win your heart and my only competition is a vain, psychotic, albino pyromaniacal boy and just look at how badly I'm doing," Hitomi sighs. "I'd hate to think what would happen if I was up against a normal girl."
Thanks.
"Hitomi, I love Dilandau, but I love you as well. You're the one who has my heart, not him," I reply, whispering in what I hope is a charming tone.
"Promise?" Hitomi asks.
"Promise. It'll just take a little getting used too. Dilandau has been my emotional lifeline for the past couple of years, and he's not an easier person to forget," I reply. In my mind's eye I can see those garnet eyes flashing at me. No, not easy to forget at all.
Hitomi seems to be reassured by this statement and I feel her relax completely against me. We sit there for a few moments.
…"Migel!"…Dilandau's scream from that fateful day when Van sliced his face…
…"I will always be there for you."…
"Hitomi?" I ask, starting with the memory.
"Yes?" she mumbles sleepily.
"Will you sleep with me tonight?" I ask.
"What?" Hitomi exclaims. Her entire body stiffens against mine. Slowly I realize what I just said.
"No! I didn't mean it that way! I was merely asking if you'd…shit. That did not come out the way I wanted. Hitomi, I don't want—"I sputter.
"Ryan?" Hitomi interrupts in a controlled tone. "What in the hell are you trying to say?"
I take a deep breath. "I just don't want to be alone tonight. I want to fall asleep with you in my arms because I love you and also to comfort me because I'm…scared, depressed, you name it. I don't know exactly why I am that way, but I do know that you make the pain go away. When I'm with you I'm content, blissful, and very much in love. You are my world, and I want you always to be with me. That's it."
That's it? You just handed your soul on a silver platter to a girl, told her exactly how you felt and what was on your mind and in your heart, and all you can say is that's it? What kind of moron are you, Labariel? You might have just committed emotional suicide.
"I think," Hitomi says slowly. I hold my breath. "that that is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me."
"So is that a yes?" I ask.
"Oh Ryan, you dumbass, of course it's a yes!" Hitomi says. Suddenly her hand flies up and there's a pillow in it. I reach out and grab her wrist right before the pillow comes in contact with my head.
"Hey, no fair! You have military training!" Hitomi complains.
"Oh, quit your moaning and lets get some sleep!" I chastise in a mock parental tone. I wiggle my way out from under Hitomi, who gives a loud squeal of disappointment. Quickly I slip under the covers and so does Hitomi.
"You know you can never tell anyone that you 'slept' with me," Hitomi says with a giggle. She stares into my gray-colored eyes with her own emerald irises.
"Okay, but just as long as you don't tell anyone about my boxers," I reply. Hitomi laughs. I laugh a little too, but a sudden seriousness envelopes my heart, and I reach out and hold Hitomi in my arms. She catches the sudden change and snuggles closer, laying her head upon my chest.
"Everything will turn out all right Ryan, I know it will," she whispers quietly. I say nothing, kissing her head as a response. In a few minutes her breathing slows, and I know she's asleep. Then, and only then, do I fully allow my body to relax, and I fall into a deep slumber.
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