Lost and Found

Lost and Found

By: rainjewel

A/N: Hidey ho! Thanks to everyone who reviewed!! Boy howdy do I have some stuff to say!! Okay: 1) I'm not sorry I killed Dilandau. I believe I stayed truer to his character by writing the last chapter as I did. As I look at it, Migel would have died if Dilandau hadn't been offed by that stupid archer simply because (no offense) Migel just doesn't have the stuffin' to keep everyon'e fave pyro boy at bay, 2) I'm not saying Dilandau's gay. I'm not saying Migel/Ryan's bisexual with the kisses. I'm just saying that Migel loved his commander a lot, and Dilandau loved him. I don't like labeling their sexualities. They are what they are, 3) I love Folken! ^.^ 4) This chapter isn't the epilogue. I don't know if the next one will be either. I have some ideas on what's going to happen, and I know how I want to end it, but I don't know much about the stuff inbetween. Please feel free to share your feelings or ideas about this story!! 5) I'm very happy and hyper again!! Give it up for sugar!

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Hitomi

"Allen-san!"

My cry rings out through the halls of the Crusade. With another burst of speed, I plow through the door that leads to the control room of the leviship.

"Allen-san!" I scream again.

The blonde haired man turns around sharply, as if someone's hit him. He takes good look at me, taking in the windblown hair and rumpled shirt. In an instant he's at my side

"Do you feel alright?" he asks gently, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"That's not—no, Allen-san" I break off my sentence, too winded to speak. Quickly I gulp in more air.

"Don't worry," Allen says with a smile. With a gallant move he scoops me up in his arms. "We'll get you to sickbay with Millerna."

"DAMNIT NO!" I scream so loudly the entire motley crew looks in our direction. I thrash violently for a second, but Allen holds on determinedly and begins walking to the sickbay.

"Stop! Allen! Ryan's fighting Dilandau! We have to go help him!" I cry. Allen stops dead in his tracks. 'Bout frickin' time!

"Gadeth! Come with me! Reeden! Make sure to meet Van here!" Allen barks to his men. He sets me on my feet. "Show us."

I nod. "This way!"

Quickly I dash off of the Crusade and plunge back into the horrid corridors of the palace. Allen and Gadeth are right behind me.

"Boss," I hear Gadeth say behind me, "Will he be able to hold his own? He'll know all of Dilandau's tricks."

I wince. I don't want to think about Dilandau's "tricks."

"Gadeth, why do you think Dilandau's the Commander?" Allen says quietly.

I stop listening. In a few steps I turn a corner and see a figure walking towards our party. Instantly I recognize the brown hair and tan skin.

"Ryan!" I call out, not caring to conceal my joy.

Ryan looks up, but his steel-colored eyes are dead. I slow up and join him at his side, as do Allen and Gadeth. I want to hug him, but that look that's on his face, that look devoid of any happiness, stops me. I look at his body, noting the bleeding cuts on his shoulder and arms, and there is a bit of blood on his cheek.

"Dilandau Albatou is dead," Ryan says in a monotone voice. My heart turns cold at the sound of the tone. Ryan never talks like that.

"How did he die?" Allen asks briskly. Ryan's eyes flash with a white heat.

"He was shot in the back by a cowardly archer," he says with venom. Allen stiffens.

"We must verify this to be true. No offense, but due to your previous loyalties, one cannot be too careful. We must have proof. You understand?" Allen says.

Ryan nods his head, but gives Allen a look that could stop the Zaibach army with its disgust. He then turns sharply on his heel and walks briskly down the corridor. I gasp as I catch sight of two horrid scratches that marr his back. Ryan doesn't seem to hear me, and turns to the left at the end of the corridor. He raises a tired finger, and he points down the hallway.

"There is your proof, Allen-san," Ryan growls.

Allen nods to Gadeth, who takes out his sword and marches grimly down the corridor. I look over Ryan's shoulder. Lying against the wall is pale figure in red armor propped in a sitting position. I take a deep breath and place a hand on Ryan's shoulder, being mindful of his cuts. He trembles for a moment; like a creature about to break, then stiffens and turns towards the wall. I keep my hand there, unsure of what to do.

"Uh, Boss?" Gadeth's voice calls out from the corridor.

"What is it Gadeth?" Allen asks, his voice taking on a more urgent tone. His hand drifts to the hilt of sword. Gadeth appears out of the shadows, carrying Dilandau's form. Ryan turns his head and looks to Gadeth. He flinches as his eyes catch the sight of his broken commander, and he looks back to the wall. His hand flies to his shoulder, resting on top of mine.

I'm here Ryan.

"Now, I may be mistaken," Gadeth says, "But this doesn't look Dilandau."

"WHAT?" Ryan cries loudly. He whips around. Allen wrinkles his eyebrows and brushes the slightly curly silver hair out of the boy's face. Suddenly his body stiffens, and Ryan walks up and pushes him out of the way. Allen's eyes are wide and his face is white. I look at him strangely, then walk up to Gadeth.

I gasp at the sight. In Gadeth's arms is a girl. A girl with curly silver hair and a fine sculpted face.

What is that?

"But—this is impossible! I saw him die!" Ryan sputters with wide eyes. "I held him—" his sentence breaks off as his hands fly to the girl's chest. Gadeth looks at Ryan with alarm. "The arrowheadit's here," Ryan explains, pointing out the bloody tip of the weapon.

Suddenly Gadeth kneels down to the ground, depositing the girl on the floor. Ryan, oblivious to anything else that's going on, follows the body.

"Boss?" Gadeth asks. He rises to his feet and steps over to Allen. I look up at the two. Allen's eyes are still wide beyond reason, and his complexion is as white as snow. His body is quaking so badly that he can barely stand.

"Boss?" Gadeth asks again. Allen makes no response.

"Commander!" Gadeth yells with a horrifying volume. He places his hands on Allen's shoulders.

"Gadeththat's Celena," Allen whispers. "That's my sister."

The tunnel is plunged into silence. I place a hand to my heart. Ryan snaps his head up and looks to Allen.

"Huh?" Gadeth finally asks.

"What the hell did you do to her?!" Allen suddenly screams, breaking his trance. "What did you do to my sister, you little Zaibach bastard?!" Allen places a hand on his sword hilt and charges at Ryan. Gadeth catches Allen as he runs past, and pins his commander's arms behind his back.

"Allen, don't!" Gadeth whispers in a low voice.

Allen? Not Boss?

Ryan stands, his face impassive. His hand reaches up and finds his mussed mop of chestnut hair, running through it with a vengeance.

He's thinking. I feel like crying at the familiarity of the move. It's the bit of Ryan I know.

"No," Ryan says suddenly, "It can't be true.They wouldn't have done it to a commander." His eyes widen.

"What?" Allen asks. Gadeth's hold loosens, but his eyes are watchful. Watchful and sad.

"He'sdear god, he's a Lost One," Ryan says in a broken voice. He bends down to the corpse and unzips the girls jacket.

"Get your paws off her!" Allen screams. Gadeth tightens his grip again. I back up reflexively. Allen looks terrifying. Ryan reaches into the jacket and rips off a bloody necklace.

Dogtags. Dilandau's dogtags.

Ryan takes off his own dogtags, and seems to be comparing the two. I step up hesitantly and peer into his hands.

16Z4. C16Z17 .

"C' for commanderhe was the seventh one. Dear God," Ryan mutters under his breath. He looks up.

"Allen, your sister, Celena, is Dilandau. She was an experiment of Zaibach sorcerors. They changed her body, and her fate. I don't know how, my knowledge is based on a few overheard conversations and many rumors," Ryan says. He walks up to Allen and opens the Knight's hand, dropping the dogtags in it.

"You knew of such atrocities?" Allen asks darkly. "You knew and you still served? How do you live?"

Ryan gestures around the dark tunnel. "You call this living?" he asks with a black laugh. "I call this hell." He turns to his right and walks out of the tunnel. Somewhere along the line his footsteps quicken and I realize he's running.

Hell? I'm part of your hell, Ryan? No, that can't be what he meant

"Celena," Allen moans. He sinks to his knees, his face buried in his gloves. Gadeth sinks with him, holding his commander. His dark eyes flash to mine, catching my hurt look.

"Tell the men that we are on our way. Say only that, and then see your Ryan," Gadeth says with a highly professional voice.

"Yes, Gadeththat's a good idea," I say in a disconnected voice that doesn't sound like mine at all. Blindly my feet began running. Vaguely I wonder where too.

~*~

"Ryan! Let me in!" I scream.

No answer. Not that I was really expecting one.

I've been screaming at Ryan's door for a couple of minutes. I've already been to his room once today, but he wasn't there. But now he is, and he's not letting me in.

How perfect.

"Ryan Labariel!" I yell at the wooden slab. Oh, I am so angry with him! I'm thankful for my anger though. It's easier to be angry then to be as worried as I am. He's never locked himself away like this before.

Just disappeared to other planets and tried to kill you.

I'm going to kill that sarcastic voice in my head.

"Okay Ryan, that's it! I'm breaking down this door!" I say, throwing logic into the wind. I back up across the hall, then run as fast I can and slam into the door.

Dumb idea Hitomi.

"Ouch!" I yell, "That hurt!" For a second the world swims in black. I slump against the door and catch my breath. Maybe Ryan'll open the door if I beat myself senseless. I back up again. Focusing everything I have, I push of the wall.

And the door opens and a very disgruntled Ryan steps in the doorway.

Oh no

"What are you—" Ryan asks. I try to slow my steps but it's too late and I slam right into him. Reflexively Ryan catches me as I plow into his body, and we go sailing towards the ground.

"OOMPH!"

"Oops," I whisper after a few moments. I look up to see if Ryan's alright, but then the stupid world decides to spin, and I put my head back down on his chest.

"Ryan? Are you alright?" I ask. I hear a groan.

"Wehave got tostop meeting likethis," Ryan mumbles through a few grunts of discomfort. I smile at the remark. If Ryan's attempting to make jokes, he's feeling better.

Slowly I pick myself up off of Ryan (the world stays stationary this time), and turn around and shut the door. When I turn back around, I see Ryan sitting on the floor gently massaging his temples. He's mumbling something I can't understand. He's clothed in a pair of too-big pants the color of sandI suppose he got them from one of the members of the crew. Ryan's upper-half however, is a completely different story. Instead of wearing a shirt, he wears bloodied bandages; reddened cotton on his right shoulder, left bicep, and a scratch high on his left cheekbone. I don't want to think about his back. Those cuts will probably scar.

"How are you feeling?" I ask, cutting to the chase.

"Like I was just creamed by a guymel—Ouch!" Ryan says with a grimace. He reaches behind his back with a hand then brings it back around. Blood drips down his fingers.

"Oh shit! I'm sorry Ryan," I say.

"It's all right," Ryan says unconvincingly.

"Here, I'll get you a washcloth," I say, walking to the bathroom. Ryan stands up.

"No! I'm fine," Ryan protests.

"Oh no you're not," I say, grabbing a cloth. I turn around to wet the washcloth, and that's when I see it, sitting there on the counter glittering horridly.

Dilandau's diadem.

She wasn't wearing it

Suddenly I feel Ryan's footsteps behind me, and then his hands on my shoulders. And then my body goes numb.

"It fitted him, don't you think?" Ryan says in a quiet voice. I say nothing. "It's made of pure gold, and the stone is an amethyst. You know, here they call amethysts moonstones' for they can only be found on Earth. It's priceless," Ryan says. His voice takes on a distant quality. "A true crown for Zaibach's Prince."

"Ryan" I begin to say. I feel fear rising in my my chest.

"Isn't it gorgeous?" Ryan says in a dreamlike tone. "So elegant and beautifulDilandau was beautiful."

"Please," I cut in. I don't want to hear it. Ryan doesn't seem to hear me and continues his terrible musings.

"Yes, Dilandau was beautiful, but he was cold. Cold as that lifeless crown," Ryan says. He reaches beyond my shoulders and touches the horrid thing. "Ah, so icy," he says with a uncharacteristic chuckle. "But, if you keep your fingers here, it grows warm. Warm as yourself." Ryan snatches his hand away. "I suppose that's what I did," he says distantly.

"You're scaring me," I whisper, feeling truly terrified. I feel Ryan flinch behind me.

"I'm sorry. Hitomi," Ryan says, his voice regaining his natural lilt. "I don't know what came over me."

"Ryan" I begin, but I can't finish my sentence. My voice wavers terrribly.

"Hey, hey it's okay," Ryan says, moving around in front of me, crouching slightly so he can look up into my face. "I'm okay. See?" He places my hand over his heart. "Still there."

No you're not. You just went somewhere very far away.

I feel my lip tremble, and I take a shaky breath. I pull him into a fierce hug, wrapping my arms around his neck. He stands up and supports me, for which I'm thankful.

"Please, please don't talk like that," I mumble into his chest. "It was like you disappeared on me, and all that was left was a very scary version of yourself. I want to be strong—strong for you. And when you act like that it scares me Ryan, it really does," I break off, choking back a sob. I'm so frustrated with my lack of courage I could scream.

"Sh," Ryan whispers, smoothing my hair with a hand. "It's okay. Don't worry Hitomi, you don't need to be strong for me."

Then who will be? You can't do everything yourself.

I feel an onslaught of tears coming on. I know that if I stay like this, with Ryan supporting me, I'll lose it. Suddenly I remember the washcloth.

"Oh goodness! Your back!" I say, pulling away.

"My back is fine," Ryan protests, his eyes soft.

"Hush," I say firmly, hiding behind a façade of busyness. "Don't be so macho." I wet the cloth with soothing warm water, painfully trying to ignore the diadem. I might as well try to ignore seeing Kio dancing in a flashy pink ballet tutu.

"Now turn around," I say, looking back to Ryan. He hesitates, then does so. Immediately I have to bite back gasp. Neither scratches have been bandaged, and dried blood is caked about the wounds. The fresh blood mixes with the old, creating a sickening sight.

Gently I take the washcloth and dab at the scratches. Ryan's shoulder twitches violently at the touch, but that's the only sign of his discomfort. Always strong, aren't you Ryan? Slowly I clean the wounds, wiping the skin clean.

"How did you get these?" I ask, hoping to take Ryan's mind off the pain. "I know Dilandau's not the type to attack from behind, and these aren't sword marks anyway."

"Observant," Ryan says dryly. His voice is very matter-of-fact. I grimace inwardly. It's easier to hide emotions that way. "I think I got them when I was beaten to the wall a couple times. I didn't think I was scratched until now. I thought I was just sore from the duel."

No inflection. He's not going to tell me anything.

"Are there any bandages left?" I ask.

"I need bandages?" Ryan asks incredulously. He obviously has no idea how bad his wounds are.

"Yes," I reply.

"Oh. There's some on the dresser."

I get the bandages and proceed wrapping Ryan in cotton and tape. He's a good patient, lifting his arms while I wind the tape around his body to keep the cotton on.

"What are you doing, mummifying me?" Ryan asks jokingly.

"If I was going to do that, I'd wrap your mouth first," I reply absently, concentrating on my task.

"I thought you liked my mouth," Ryan says.

"Not when it's talking," I say.

Finally I'm done and I toss the washcloth in the garbage can. Ryan stands up and admires my handiwork. Or at least he tries to; it's hard to see your own back.

"How are you feeling?" I ask, not referring to his wounds.

"Better, thank you," Ryan responds, running his hand across the tape on his chest. I walk up and take his hands in mine (or at least one of themhis hands are bigger than I thought) and look up at him.

"You know what I mean," I say. Ryan looks down at me with a serious look in his eyes.

"I loved Dilandau," he says bluntly, then looks away. "But it's strange now that he's gone. I feelliberated in a way. Now I can live my own life. Of course, I still miss him. A lot."

Bullshit. You never could lie very well.

"Ryan?" I ask. His eyes focus on me.

"Hm?"

"Would you please tell the truth about your emotions and stop trying to protect me?" I ask quietly, using all of my willpower to not look away.

Ryan looks at me darkly, and his body shudders. For a moment I glimpse the broken, tortured emotions Ryan is going through.

"Please Hitomi," Ryan whispers softly, "Let that be the truth. Let me bear this silently and alone, just like I have a dozen other things. Don't worry though; I will heal. I always have. Just as my bodily wounds will heal with time, so will my soul."

"And if they scar?" I ask.

"Don't worry about that," Ryan says. "This is the way I am, this is the way I deal with things."

I know that. I'm not as stupid as I look. And I know you're already scarred Ryan. Dilandau made his mark on you long before you had those wounds.

"All right. You can bear this silently, but not alone. I will be here if you ever want to talk, confidesing, whatever. I'm going to be here," I say with a no-nonsense voice I didn't think I had.

"Sing?" Ryan asks, his voice sounding a little bewildered.

"Yes. I remember your love for it," I reply with a grin, reaching deep inside yet again to lighten the mood. Ryan rolls his eyes.

"Kanzaki Hitomi, are you asking me to sing for you?" Ryan says devilishly.

"Actually, no. I'm asking you to kiss me," I coquettishly.

"Demanding brat, aren't we?" Ryan asks, then leans down and kisses me.

J *** LIME ALERT!! *** J

I lean back against the sink, pulling Ryan with me. All of a sudden I am profoundly aware of just how much I need him. Carefully I run my hands over his chest and shoulders, simply liking the feel of his skin.

"You know," Ryan says, kissing my throat, "I won't break."

"You know," I reply, "Neither will I."

"Good to know," Ryan replies with a smile.

Gently, almost shyly, his hands migrate from my neck to my blouse and he runs his hands down my front, tenderly caressing my breast. I moan a little into his mouth, and then press myself against him, coaxing him on. Deftly his hands travel to the front of my blouse and unbutton it and then I feel his fingers on my bare skin. They're trembling.

Now, usually when I'm with a guy and I begin to lose clothing, warning bells sound in my head and I stop right then and there. This time however, I don't hear them. I want Ryan so bad I can practically taste it. I need him right now and I think I'll get frightened if he stops, not the other way around. Thankfully, I think he feels the same.

"Hitomi, " Ryan says suddenly, breaking off our kiss.

Or maybe not.

"What?" I ask, reluctantly pulling away.

"If you want to stop, say so now," Ryan says, breathing heavily, "Because I don't think their will be another chance."

I don't even blink. "Don't stop."

"Are you sure?" Ryan asks seriously. "You're only 15—"

"And how old are you?" I ask, kissing his collarbone.

"Well, Gaean time is faster so I'm 17 years old," Ryan replies, kissing my ear.

"But your 15 in Earth years' right?" I say.

"Yes. 16 in two weeks," Ryan replies, his will dissolving like sugar in water.

"Then shut up," I say. Feeling very impulsive and very naughty I slip out of my shirt. Ryan's eyes bug out at the action, but I lean in and kiss him deeply.

"Last time I ever play the Pot calling the Kettle black," Ryan says when our lips part.

"You and your metaphor-simile bullshit," I say with a smile.

"I love you," Ryan says, his mood very serious.

"I love you too," I reply, feeling my body tremble.

Ryan smiles and kisses me on the nose. Gently he picks me up in his arms, ignoring my protests about his wounds. As he walks out of the doorway too the bedroom, my feet brush against the sink and Dilandau's diadem wobbles and then falls to the ground.

Now that's what I call good symbolism.

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rainjewel:

Migel: Yes! After being put through emotional hell, getting beat up continuously, and even being killed in one version, *glares violently at the inanimate rainjewel* I'm finally getting some!!

rainjewel:

Hitomi: Goodness, I'm quite the sex kitten.

Allen: MEOW!

Folken: Dear God.

rainjewel: *blinks* Did I just write that? *blinks*

Folken: Yes, I'm sorry to say.

rainjewel: Oh God. Need sugar.

Folken: That's not possible. Dilandau burned it allhe's not very happy with you.

Dilandau: Yeah! You couldn't even give me a body! BURN!

rainjewel: Yike!

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