Disclaimer- Paramount owns them; I own nothing, dang.
Author's Note- I'm not sure if you people wanted another yakity yak, but I had to resolve this somehow and I came up with a lot more stuff for them to say. If you didn't like the first one, finish reading the author's note, then you can go. The reason that I say that is because I have an explanation for why I'm making them say all this weird stuff. Any of you that said they sound like they're in junior high school were right on the money, that's where I got all this stuff from. Ya see, the reason I know all of these weird sayings is because they are a part of my regular vocabulary. That's because ::drumroll please:: I'm only fourteen years old. Just figured I'd give you a reason for why I'm having them talk like this. Anyhoo, on with the story. By the way, you might want to read the first one before this if you haven't already.
Good Riddance (Yakity yak 2)
"Captain, Captain, I think we got rid of it!" B'Elanna was ecstatic and jumping all over the place in her excitement.
"Really? Good job, it was really getting annoying," replied Janeway while pushing B'Elanna down by the shoulders and forcing her to stop jumping, "but are you sure?"
At that point Chakotay walked onto the bridge singing, "Body movin, body movin. A-1 sound, sound so soothing. Body movin, body movin. We be getting down and you know we're crush groovin."
B'Elanna freaked out and yelled, "Beastie Boys," and then started singing, "Now let me get some action from the back section. We need body rocking not perfection."
She would have started the next line if it wasn't for a death glare that she received from Janeway.
"I, uh, I guess we didn't get it," B'Elanna stammered.
"You already showed us your astounding singing capabilities on April Fool's Day," said Janeway, voice dripping with sarcasm.
"You heard that?" asked B'Elanna, filled with the same embarrassment that she had on the day of the incident.
"The Locomotion and The Monster Mash, I'm sure that was the point, but I heard your version of I Will Survive as well," explained Janeway.
"The Doc better hope he's on an away mission," fumed B'Elanna, hopping mad.
"Who squealed?" asked Chakotay, now moderately ticked off himself.
"If you must know, I heard him whistling after I got done singing, took Tuvok to keep me off of him too, but I don't see no Tuvok here," B'Elanna said as Tuvok walked on the bridge.
"Speak of the devil," Janeway exclaimed.
"Screw it," B'Elanna moped, concerning the fact that she wouldn't be able to decompile the Doctor's program.
"Savage," Janeway scolded.
"Give it up," B'Elanna exclaimed.
"I'm gonna get out of here before you both get mad at me and tell me to go crash a shuttle or something," said Chakotay, seeing that the conversation was heating up.
"Groovy," said Janeway as soon as he was out of earshot.
"Indeed," B'Elanna replied.
A puzzled expression crossed Janeway's face as she said, "I completely spaced why I wanted you up here."
"Good job, I must admit," mumbled B'Elanna, adding insult to injury.
"Be gone," Janeway yelled.
"Alright don't have a cow," replied B'Elanna as she turned to go.
As soon as B'Elanna had left, Janeway walked to her ready room singing, "The ship is docking, inter-lockin. And up-rocking electro shocking. We're getting down computer action. Do the robotic satisfaction. All of y'all get off the wall. Have a ball and get involved with…"
As she stepped into her ready room, she was pleased to hear someone, Tuvok she later decided, sing, "Body movin, body movin."
'Now then,' she thought, ordering a cup of coffee and sitting down, 'how are we gonna get rid of this?' Eventually deciding that eight heads are better than one, Janeway called a meeting of the senior officers with the intention of them working together to find a solution.
A couple decks down, a turbolift door opened to let out a crewmember and caught the attention of a certain four senior officers, namely Tom Harry Seven and B'Elanna, who were all coming from different directions. They each started running to try to catch the turbolift before the doors closed. They all reached the door at about the same time and crammed themselves in. The turbolifts were meant to hold two people at most, it was a tight squeeze to say the least.
Someone managed to get out, "Observation lounge," before they realized the awkward position that they were in.
Seven cried, "My tities are getting crushed!" concerning the fact that her chest was pressed into the wall.
"Why am I not surprised?" B'Elanna asked, "They say if Barbie were made into a real person that she would fall flat on her face, I've been meaning to ask you how you stay up." (Jeri Ryan, my most sincere apologies, I grovel at your feet)
"Hey, I don't see you having a problem with yours, or lack there of," Seven pouted.
"Leave my tah-tahs out of this," B'Elanna shot back.
"Oh, do I detect hint of resentment?" asked Seven with an eyebrow raise that would put Tuvok to shame.
"No, acually, I like the fact that every man I pass in the corridors isn't drooling over me," B'Elanna replied.
"I have observed no such phenomenon in any of my time on Voyager, in your case, however, there is at least one man drooling over you," Seven pointed out.
"Way to change the subject," B'Elanna replied, "By the way, Tom, will you get your hip out of my stomach?"
"I thought you had two stomachs," Tom replied cheekily.
"Details, details," said B'Elanna making a futile attempt to talk with her hands and instead hitting Harry in the head.
"Watch it, gosh," exclaimed Harry, partly ducking his head.
"Wus," Tom muttered.
"Wanna say that to my face, ya limp noodle," Harry yelled.
"Meow," said Tom, just as Harry took a swing at his face. Tom fought back and soon they were decking each other despite the limited space.
"Whoever said that chick fights were worse than guy fights was dead wrong," Seven observed.
"You ever seen a chick fight, Seven?" B'Elanna asked.
"No, but we lack the enough strength to do any real damage," Seven said.
"You're an insult to your own intelligence, chick fights are so much worse," B'Elanna replied.
"I don't understand how they could be," Seven persisted, it earned her a bee-yatch slap from B'Elanna.
"You think a guy could ever do that?" B'Elanna asked.
Seven, who apparently was very upset with B'Elanna's slap, yelled, "You want a piece of me!?" while pulling at her hair.
B'Elanna scratched her nails against Seven's face, drawing blood, and yelled, "How do you like that, pussy!"
The two full blown fights soon merged into one that continued until they reached their destination and the doors slid open. This caused all of them to fall out of the turbolift in a bloody, messy blob of people on the floor. Out of pure dumb luck, they wound up at the Doctor's feet
The Doctor rolled his eyes and said, "In not even gonna ask."
A few minutes later they were all in the observation lounge, as disheveled as some of them were. After the Captain explained what they were there for they started working together to recap on everywhere and everyone that had been affected, trying to find something that they could use to make it go away.
When they reached the part where four of the senior officers were stuck in the turbolift, Janeway could not help but order them to tell what happened, she was curious after all.
They looked around at each other, trying not to be the one who had to explain. Finally, B'Elanna seemed to get very hyper and said in a very fast, very high pitched voice, "Alright-so-like-we-all-ran-for-the-turbolift-and-all-wound-up-inside-somehow-oh-my-God-it-was-cramped-in-there-almost-worse-than-the-jefferies-tubes-anyway-Seven-said-that-her-tities-were-crushed-and-we-got-in-this-big-discusion-about-that-uh-particulat-subject-and-I-made-some-refrence-between-her-and-Barbies-then-somehow-we-started-talking-about-how-many-guys-we-get-and-we-figured-out-I-beat-her-one-to-zip-then-Tom-stuck-his-hip-in-my-stomache-and-I-think-he-should-take-it-from-there."
They all stared at her in confusion for a minute, as they were all a few words behind her, then Tom suddenly got it and continued. "I mentioned that she had two stomachs and she hit Harry in the head, I called him a wus and pretty soon, we were beating each other up, ahem, Seven?"
"I said that guy fights are worse than girl fights, B'Elanna slapped me, I pulled her hair, she scratched my face and called me a pussy, what are you on? and I soon found out that chick fights are worse," Seven continued.
Harry took the incentive and finished the story, "Pretty soon we were all beating each other up. Then we reached this deck and fell out at the Doctor's feet. The end."
"Well, um, we have yet to figure out anything that will help us," Janeway observed.
The Doctor who seemed to have been in his own little world suddenly burst out, "Hey, I got the virus too remember?" Without waiting for an answer he continued, "Well, I did and you can turn me off, so if you turn me off while I've got the virus maybe it will go away."
"Let's take a whack at it," Chakotay exclaimed.
"We're gonna wanna do this in sickbay, we don't want any adverse effects on a mobile emitter that we can't fix," B'Elanna pointed out and they all left for sickbay.
As they left the observation lounge, they all eyed each other and the empty turbolift, started running, and somehow crammed all eight of themselves inside. By a miraculous feat of skill and ingenuity they all made it. To save space Janeway, Seven, B'Elanna, and the Doctor wound up on the shoulders of the men.
"We couldn't of taken the dignified way out of this, could we?" the Doctor pouted, "and why am I up here with the women."
"Where's the sport in that?" Tuvok asked, "and you can make yourself only as heavy as you mobile emitter, which I suggest you do before I have to drop you."
"Don't have a hissy fit," the Doctor exclaimed, and then as Tuvok's last statement sunk in he asked, "am I really that fat?"
Then they reached their destination and the doors opened to make them fall out into the corridor in the same pathetic heap that Tom, Harry, B'Elanna, and Seven wound up in in the first place. They managed to pick themselves up off the ground and made their way into sickbay with as much dignity as they could muster.
As soon as the Doctor was transferred to the sickbay holoemitters, Janeway asked, "Neh, what's up Doc." (Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fud)
Immediately afterward, B'Elanna pushed a few buttons to make him deactivate and then activated him again.
"Get lost!" the Doctor exclaimed.
"We didn't get it," Harry said with his head in his hands.
"We're gonna hafta decompile a hologram's program to get rid of this," Janeway moaned.
"To holodeck two!" Tom called.
"I got an idea, let's take different turbolifts this time," Chakotay suggested.
"Spoil sport," Tuvok called.
"Do what you want, me 'n' Chakotay are goin' differently from the rest of you," said Janeway.
"Captain, your english teacher would be appalled," Chakotay said playfully as they left.
"Alright people, here's what we do.." Seven said.
On holodeck two, six beams of blue light appeared and were soon replaced by six senior officers who had made a sight to sight transport from sickbay.
Chakotay and Janeway soon entered and Chakotay asked, "How'd you guys beat us?"
"We took the jefferies tubes," Seven said in her cool manner.
"Quit contradicting yourself, it'd take half an hour to take the jefferies tubes, were we really that slow?" Janeway asked.
All of the other party shrugged.
"I've got the perfect hologram to do this to, Computer activate hologram Michael Sullivan," Chakotay commanded.
"Nooo!" Janeway called.
"Yes," Chakotay said and laughed evilly.
Michael shimmers into existence.
"Chakotay, would you care to do the honors?" Tom asked.
"Certainly. Oh Michael, Knock knock" Chakotay called.
"Who's there?" Michael asked.
"Little old lady," Chakotay replied.
"Little old lady who?" Michael asked.
"Why Michael, I didn't know you could yodel," Chakotay said mockingly.
Noticing the confused look on Michael's face, Harry pushed a few buttons on the console and decompiled his program. Then he and B'Elanna started working furiously on the console.
"Computer, is the Michael Sullivan hologram still in existence?" Janeway asked.
"I ain't tellin" the computer replied.
"Oh my God, we gave it to the computer!" Janeway screamed and started freaking out.
Finally Harry and B'Elanna couldn't contain themselves anymore and started cracking up so hard that tears were streaming out of their eyes and they could hardly breath.
"Get outta here," Janeway said, figuring out what was so funny, "Ya didn't hafta program the computer to say that."
B'Elanna and Harry all but crawled out of the holodeck, still laughing.
"Yeah, good riddance, pulling that one on us," Chakotay pouted.
"Hey, we got rid of this thing!" Seven exclaimed.
They all started jumping around hugging each other.
That night Tom came to visit B'Elanna at her quarters.
As he came in, he sang, "Everybody dance now!"
B'Elanna was aghast and it obviously showed on her face because Tom started cracking up.
"Oh God, don't ever do that to me again!" she yelled.
Tom didn't answer but instead had the computer play Gonna Make You Sweat and they both started dancing around like robots. (Gonna Make You Sweat is Everybody Dance Now's real name)
The End
Please tell me if you liked this or not. Please? With sugar on top? And Ice cream? And cherries? And hot fudge? And whipped cream? I can keep this up all day so just review this please!