Author's note: I apologize to Jar Jar fans
Author's note:  I apologize to Jar Jar fans.  And Anakin fans.  I don't own anything here.  And much credit to Theria on Zelgadis' family.  I wish I'd thought of it, but I didn't.  It's all her, but I like his mom and grandma.  So on with the story!  I also don't own the Z that got Zapped.

The Xelloss That Got Zapped

(and others)

            "So you mean it?  I can be alive again?" asked the little boy, "Cause being dead sucks.  It's just unbelievably boring.  And Gaav never shuts up…  Like it's my fault or something." 

Gaav: "It IS your fault you little-"

Phibrizzo: "NOT ACCORDING TO VAL GAAV!!!"

 

"See what I mean?" huffed Phibrizzo.  The gold light twinkled.  "What do you mean conditions?  I won't destroy ANYONE!  Important…."  *a shovel collided w/Phibby's head*  "OW!"  Phibby rubbed his bruise.  "What do I have to do then?  Anything's better then being dead."  The light flickered.  "You're kidding!  Why do I have to do something so stup-  I mean, yeah, great, sure.  With my powers it'll be a snap."  The light flickered goodbye, handed him a magic marker, and the next scene began….

Amelia sat dreamily staring at nothing imparticular.  Lina, "Amelia?  Hello?  Hmmmmm…"  Lina switched her empty plate with Amelia's full one.  Amelia didn't notice.  "What's with her?" asked Gourry.  "Isn't it obvious?!" Lina asked between bites.  Swallowing a pitcher of water, she sighed happily, then slammed her fist on the table.  "How many times do we have to go through this!?!?!?!  Amelia is where Amelia always is.  The end episodes of Slayers Next.  Remember, where Zelgadis picks her up?  And saved her from Gaav?"  They both turned and stared at Zelgadis.  He pretended to see something in his coffee cup.  "Oh," said Gourry, "but how do you know that Lina?"  "Simple."  Lina took Amelia's change purse and counted out the tip.  "She talks in her sleep."  "About Zelgadis?"  "Are you kidding?!  She never shuts up!  Last night-"  *Lina whispered in Gourry's ear*  Zelgadis tried to scoot over without anyone noticing.  Too bad he was scooting into a trap.  "Yeeeeessssss Zel?  You wanted something?" Lina asked, with a playful cat face.  A tail sprouted and started swishing happily.  Zel desperatly tried to think of a way out.

"Hello everyone ^_^!" greeted Xelloss.  Out of the frying pan, thought Zel.  Xelloss sat on the table and started munching on a piece of sausage that had managed to escape Lina.  He noticed Amelia.  *bonk* *bonk*  His staff had no effect.  "She's in her happy place," supplied Gourry.  "Ohhhhhhhh.  I see."  Xelloss, Gourry, and Lina turned and stared at Zelgadis.  Zel sighed, rolled his eyes and stared out a window.  He sadly missed the site of a kid crashing through the roof…  *BAM*  and then Xelloss' head breaking the fall. 

They both layed sprawled out on the ground.  Phibrizzo got to his scences (since he obviously had more) first.  He tore off Xelloss' glove and wrote ZAP on his hand, then ran away as fast as his little legs could carry him.  He was mauled by fan girls a block later.  He raised a hand to kill them all, but nothing happened.  "WHAT?  My powers…  I CAN'T USE MY POWERS!!!  I'LL GET YOU L-SAMA!!!" he yelled as he vanished into the horizon, and the fan girls inadvertantly trampled Jar Jar Binks to death.  The world rejoiced.   Meanwhile…

"Phibrizo is… alive?" wondered Amelia.   "What did he do to you Xel?" asked Lina.  Xelloss looked curiously at the ZAP on his hand.  Lina grabbed Xel in a headlock.  "I SAID…  What did he do to you XEL???  That means answer NOW!"  Xelloss tried to talk, but he only got choked wheezes out.  Gourry, "I wonder if it's that time of the month?"  Amelia, "It's so hard to tell with Ms. Lina…"  Lina growled, but before she could despense 'punishment', Xelloss, in a last ditch effort of survival, waved his ZAP hand in front of her.  "Huh?" Xelloss fell unceremoniously in a heap.  Except for his hand that was being clutched by Lina and observed in a tight circle.  "Lina…" coughed Xelloss, "I need my hand back."  "No you don't."  Everyone stared closer at his hand.  "Lina-chan…  I didn't realize how much you wanted to hold my hand."  Lina tried to release Xelloss and fire ball him, but he had taken a firm grip, and she only got to say Fire Ba- ahhhhhhh!!  Face to face Xelloss leanded in and…  "Nyaaaaaaahhhhh!"  - stuck his tongue out and crossed his eyes.   *BAM*  Xelloss had a Lina-fist-shape embedded into his face. 

They all sat down.  Lina went to start eating, but all the food had "mysteriously" vanished.  "Waiter!  More food!"  No one noticed Xelloss' eyes go vacant for several seconds.  His head slumped a little.  Lina was sitting in front of him, her back to him.  He suddenly went back to "normal", and seemed to notice her there.  "Lina,"  Xelloss whispered in her ear, as he put his arms around her, "you're so very… beautiful."  Lina spat out all the food in her mouth, grossing out the enitre room.  "DARKNESS BEYOND TWILIGHT CRI-"  Xelloss kissed her very deeply, cutting her off.  Many fangirls covered their eyes, not wanting to watch Xelloss die.  Lina glowed red.  Her eyes especially.  She erupted into flames, as did the building.  Everyone ran.  Fast.  Xelloss' eyes faded again, then went back to normal.  "Hmm?  What's going on?  Uh-oh…  Did I do somethi-"  his memory came back.  "Oh fu-"  Xelloss found himself flying through burned rubble, and a nasty bruise from a kick.  He suddenly heard, before he hit the ground, "BY THE POWER YOU AND I POSESS!  DRAGON SLAVE!"

A few minutes later, the smoke cleared and everyone noticed the town was destroyed.  As they stepped throught the rubble they noticed the body of Jar Jar Binks.  He had X's for eyes and was very dragon slaved.  The authoress rejoiced.