Digimon isn't mine

Digimon isn't mine...

I decided to go back and revise this fic to (hopefully) make it a better, less screwy story. X_x I initially took it down because I wasn't at all satisfied with the way that latter chapters had turned out. So, with a ton of help from Kymaera-san, I went back and rewrote, and revised. Also, there aren't many changes (although I think some of the minor changes are a bit important to the plot…) in this chapter or in the next. (Someone, who shall remain nameless, suggested that I release this revision one chapter at a time…it sounded like a good idea to me. ^-^;;) Some things just worked with what was going on in this, so it's still set in Florida, and that's still an idea I originally got from S1ncer1ty-san. Izzy's sixteen (almost seventeen) while Matt and Tai are eighteen. Joe's twenty.

This fic is dedicated to Kymaera-san for having the utmost patience with me and this fic. (Are you sure you aren't a saint? ^-^;;) Thank you soooo much!! ^-^ And to everyone who reviewed the first time, thank you soo much!! (If you can't remember if you reviewed or not, or what you said, I do plan on adding a sixth chapter that has the old reviews in it…) Okay, now that I've bored everyone senseless…here's the first chapter. ^-^;;

Last Time


"Tai, you know. I've been rethinking your initial idea of going to this party, and I've come to the conclusion that maybe it wasn't such a..."

"Ah man, Izzy. Calm down. You'll be fine, and this'll be fun. Just relax. Natalie throws a good bash." He punches me lightly on the shoulder and then wraps his arm around my neck. I wish I could be as confident about tonight as he is. "Now, let's go party!" He adds as he abruptly releases me from the headlock and reaches out to ring the doorbell.

I can hear the music wafting in from the backyard, and I can hear shouts and splashing. Sending a quick prayer to whatever God resides above, I'm eternally thankful that we didn't know ahead of time that Natalie had a pool. The last thing I want to do is wear my swim trunks and show off my less than impressive physic to all the members of the senior class. I grimace. And girls think they have it bad with bikinis...

The oak front door swings open and Tai bounces forward with his usual exuberance and gives the dark haired girl a friendly hug. "Man, this place is hopping!" He shoots me a grin and then disappears into the house.

I'm not going to panic. That would be stupid as well as illogical. These are my classmates. There's no earthly reason for me to feel out of place here. I see them everyday at school. This isn't that different.

What the hell am I thinking? This is completely different. 

"Izzy? Izzy, are you gonna come in or what?" I yank my attention back to Natalie as she waits impatiently by the door. Oh God, I haven't even been here for five minutes and I've already screwed up.

"Y...yeah. Yeah, sorry about that." I manage to stammer out as I walk through the door. My face feels hot, and I know I'm blushing. Turning I open my mouth to say something that at least sounds semi-intelligent to Natalie, but she's already walking in the other direction. I feel like an idiot standing here in the foyer. I hate feeling like an idiot.

Where the hell did Tai go? Trying not to look too obvious about it, I scan the living room, but I don't see him anywhere. That...that jerk, I think furiously. First he had to insist on dragging me here, and then he had to go and just ditch me at the front door. Some friend. What am I supposed to do? What does a person do at a party, other than stand around and talk about nothing?

Calm down, I tell myself. You're a big kid. Socializing shouldn't be that hard at all, I've been to parties that the digidestined have thrown, and just like those parties, I know everyone. Taking a couple of self-conscious steps, I make my way over to the card table by the sliding glass door. There's a cooler sitting on the floor beside it, and I reach down to pull a Dr. Pepper out of the ice.

"Hey! Um...Izzy right?" I turn to see one of my classmates peering down at me with a semi-confused look on his face. I hate being short. It's just that my stature seems to make everyone think that I'm still a kid, and it draws more attention than I'd like to the fact that I'm almost two years younger than everyone else here.

"Yeah. Hi Mike." I manage to get out in my usual quiet voice. And that really irritates me as well, there isn't any reason in the world for me to feel intimidated by some big dumb jock whose neck is as thick as a telephone pole.

"Dude, what are you doing here? I mean, don't you usually, I dunno...study or something?" He's not trying to intentionally be rude, I try and tell myself as I look up at him. There's nothing in his face to indicate that he's trying to be snide or unfriendly. He just looks...confused. Of course, for someone like him, I'm surprised that he even knows what the word "study" means, I think rather ungraciously. As long as he keeps scoring goals for the football team, they'll slide him through the system.

"Well, I was planning on working on my latest theory of sub particle space and it's effect on the gases of the solar system, but I got dragged here so..."

"Oh, look. Isn't that Jennifer over there? Sorry, Izzy. Gotta go." I watch as he leaves. Thank god. Moron. I pop open the Dr. Pepper and stare at it for a second. But who's the real moron? Him or me? At least he knows what to do around here. Me? I'm doing a really good impression of a potted plant. 

Uncomfortably, I shift on my feet as I stare out the sliding glass door. Where the hell is Tai, and how the hell could he do this to me? 

Ah, now that's a particularly stupid question, I suppose. Squeezing my eyes shut, I rub my forehead for a second.

In my best friend's mind, he's not doing anything out of the ordinary. For him, this is easy. Fun even. He doesn't have any problems blending in or adapting. In Tai's head, because he doesn't have any problems in social settings it just follows therefore that I don't either. He didn't ditch me on purpose; he just assumed that I would know what to do.

Hesitantly, I open the sliding glass door and walk out into the hot humid night air. Looking over at the pool, there's got to be at least thirty kids in there yelling and screaming and laughing. There are a couple dozen more out in the backyard, jumping on and surrounding the trampoline.

What am I supposed to do now? I try and take a calming breath, but it comes out as more of a shaky panicked sigh.  

Oh god. Why, oh why, did I let Tai talk me into this?

***

"Hey Izzy, watcha doing this Friday?" I look up from my laptop just in time to see Tai bite his lip as he punches the buttons on his controller.

"Probably rent a couple of movies and watch 'em. I haven't had a chance to see 'The Phantom Menace' yet, and I want to know if it's a dumb as everyone says it is." I tell him, my lips quirking up as his face contorts in concentration and he punches the controller hard. If he could, I almost think he'd rather be inside the game physically defeating the bad guys himself instead of relying on a weak, puny controller. If he's not careful his fifth controller is going to meet the same fate the other four did. "Why?"

"Huh?" He looks over at me, his face confused, and I can hear the death jingle for the video game sound as he takes his concentration off of it. "Ah man! Sheesh Izzy. I almost had that level beat too..."

"Sorry." I tell him rather unapologetically. "Why do you want to know what I'm doing on Friday? Did you want to do something together or with the other digidestined or what?"

He flops over on the carpeted floor of his family's computer room and he grins up at me. "Well, see Natalie's throwing a graduation party this weekend, and I figure, you know...we should go and all. It'll be fun and this'll be like the last time we see everybody in our class before we graduate and stuff."

My decision was made the minute he said party. "No. No I don't think so, Tai. I'm just gonna hang out at home. You go on without me. You can get Matt or Sora to go with you." They'll enjoy the party more than I will. It's not that I hate everyone in my class or anything. There are a lot of nice people that I go to school with. I'd just rather leave my seeing them to the daytime school hours and keep the nights and the weekends to myself.

Besides, it's not like they'll miss me or anything. I never really did fit into any of the little cliques. I know a couple of Sora's friends as well as Matt and Tai's, but that doesn't mean I'll subject myself to a night of uncomfortable, stilted small talk. Besides, wouldn't it be better to have someone amputate my legs without anesthesia? It would certainly be less painful.

"Sora has to go to her grandparents for the weekend and Matt's band's got a gig downtown. C'mon, Izzy. Please?" He puts on that ridiculous pouty face of his and I raise an eyebrow to let him know that it won't work on me. I know him too well.

"Forget it. Why don't you just go by yourself?"

"I don't wanna go by myself." He whines. "C'mon Izzy, we can crash at my place afterwards and watch a couple of videos. Besides, it'll be more fun if you come along." I don't see how, I think to myself as he continues to give me the pouty face. What excitement am I going to add? I can see it now, I'll get nervous and start spouting something about thermal dynamics to a bunch of people who don't understand and don't care. Sorry. I've got better things to do with my time. Like pick lint off the carpet.

"No way."

"Don't be such a nerd. It's a graduation party. This'll be our last chance to hang out and have fun before we have to start worrying about summer jobs and college." I hesitate as he pleads with me. Nerd? Does...does he really think of me as a nerd?  No, no that's just typical Tai slang... Right?

"I don't know..." I say quietly.

"C'mon, Izzy." Tai's voice takes on new enthusiasm as he realizes I'm waffling. "You can't spend your entire life behind that dumb laptop. Carpe Diem and all that jazz. Let's go seize this party." I shoot him a look that'll let him know just how stupid that sounded, but he doesn't care. Trying not to laugh, I shake my head 'no'. "Please? Do it for you best buddy, your good ol' pal?"

"I don't see Tentomon around here."

"No. Me, stupid." Tai shoots me a disgruntled glare and I laugh in his face right before he tackles me.

"Alright. Alright. I'll go to the dumb party." I wheeze out ten minutes later after he's pinned me to the floor by sitting on my chest. Besides, it can't be that bad if he's there, right? Even if I don't know what to say or what to do with everyone else, I can always just hang out with him. He is my best friend after all.

***

I skirt the edge of the pool and walk out the screen door into the backyard. Knowing Tai, he's probably jumping his heart out on the trampoline. His parents won't get one because they've heard that they can be dangerous, and knowing Tai, they were probably right to be worried. I imagine they figured that by taking the precaution of not getting one, they were saving themselves a hike in insurance costs. Tai's the only person I know who visits the emergency room on a monthly basis. He doesn't need anymore incentive--or help--in hurting himself. He does a perfectly fine job of it all on his own.

It's too dark to see much, so I cautiously pick my way past a row of bushes and a couple trees. 'Tai?" I ask out loud as I realize that I'm never going to be able to recognize him in the dark.

"I think he went over to the swing set with Claire and the rest," someone answers in the darkness. I pick my way past some palmettos and an oak tree. I can hear Tai's voice, but I can't see him. It's just too dark and there aren't any lights in the backyard. The pool area is glowing from behind me, but that just serves to make me blinder to my surroundings. My night vision never really was that great...

"Your turn, Tai. Truth or Dare." I think that's Claire talking. I guess it doesn't matter. I know what Tai's going to say.

"Truth." I hear him answer and I smile in the darkness. I cured him of saying 'Dare' when we were thirteen, and I've been strictly forbidden to mention the 'underwear incident' in his presence or in anyone else's. From Claire's groan though, I figure she'd been anticipating that he'd pick something other than 'Truth'.  

"Man, you're no fun, Tai." I can hear the little flirty pout in her voice. Tai thinks I'm nuts, but Claire is always hitting on him. He just can't see it. And he thinks I'm dense. She slobbers all over him. It's disgusting. And yeah, I suppose it makes me a bit jealous...If he ever did get a girlfriend, chances are Tai'd never have much time to spend with me. But even if he had to go and get a girlfriend or something, he could do a lot better than Claire. He deserves someone infinitely better than her. "Okay then, well why'd you have to bring Izzy here?" I swear I can almost see her roll her eyes, and I can definitely hear the disgust in her voice. 

"He's my best friend." The insulted tone of Tai's voice makes up for her stupid question in my head. Who cares what a ditzy dumb blonde thinks about me anyway, I tell myself as I try to shrug it off.

"Oh c'mon, Tai. Get real. Why'd you really bring him? I mean, this is Izzy. He's not exactly a social animal. I'm sure he'd much rather be sitting at home doing all his homework for Monday. I mean, what a nerd, right?"

"Hey! He really is my best friend." 

"No, seriously, Tai. Quit joking around. You and the rest of the guys are gonna pull a prank on him, aren't you? Let me in on it. Please? That kid needs to be taken down a peg or two. God, he is so arrogant."

"He...he's not really that bad."

"I may act like an idiot, but I'm not. Give me a break. Izzy always acts like he knows everything. He's so condescending. I'm surprised that you were the one that brought him here. I mean, I would have expected you, of all people, to be the first one to punch him when he started talking down to you."

"He doesn't talk down to me that much." He sounds less than certain about that. In fact, I can recognize that tone. It's his 'I'm going to be polite and say this, even though I really don't think it's that true' voice. 

Oh god.

I don't want to hear anymore. Swinging around blindly, I just start walking away. I misjudge the obstacles that I went around on the way back here though, and I run straight into the palmettos. Crashing down, I fall into them, and I guess that was just enough to make this too much to handle.

Ignoring the scratches I now have running up and down my arms and legs from the barbs, I make a dash around the side of the house. Coming out on the street, all I can see are the rows of parked cars. Tai drove us here. It's too far for me to walk home.

Stumbling, I make my way over to his beat up Toyota. He parked it half up on Natalie's nicely manicured lawn, so I slide down onto the grass and hang my head into my hands.

I don't belong here and I know it. What did I honestly think was going to happen when I agreed to come here with Tai? I mean, what made me think that I'd be able to fit in? 'Oh, I'll just hang out with him'. What kind of a naive idiot am I?! Tai? Mr. Popularity hanging out with me? I should have known something like this was going to happen.

Why is he best friends with me? We don't move in the same circles, and we don't have very similar interests. He's into soccer and sports and video games. I'm in the computer club. I mean, I have more in common with Joe than I do with Tai. So why does he hang out with me in the first place? It obviously isn't because of my social skills...

Pity for the nerd? I suck in an angry breath at the thought. That's how he sees me, isn't it? He wasn't just joking around the other day. He really does think I'm this geeky computer guru who has nothing better to do with his time than do his homework on a Friday night.

God. How stupid and utterly naïve could I be, right? We've been friends since the digital world. And yeah, back then he really might have thought of me as a best friend. But then I got bumped up into his grade, and Sora and Matt already had too much to do than lead the little nerd around by the hand. So the duty fell to Tai.

I sneer down at the ground and I watch a fire ant crawl up over my sock and onto my leg. I bet he laughs about it behind my back. Pale, geeky Izumi, right? Like anyone would seriously think that someone like Tai would actually be my best friend.

I'm an embarrassment to him. He runs with the bigger fish, but because I think he's my best friend, he's required to talk to me during school hours. Poor Tai, he's too nice to tell me to get lost.

The ant stings me, and irritably, I slap it. The scratches on my arms and legs are beginning to throb, but I ignore them.

I don't expect people like Claire to understand why I talk to them the way I do. I mean, it's not like I'm ever going to go up to them and explain that the reason I spout all of that arrogance is because I feel so stupid standing next to them. It doesn't make much sense even to me, why would they understand?

People like Claire have never had any problems just hanging out and talking about the latest gossip or the latest trends. They know instinctively what to do in any social situation. It's not hard for them. They've never stood at the corner of the cafeteria, lunch tray in hand, desperately searching for a friendly face to share the measly half hour with. They've never been the ones standing against the bleachers in gym, watching everyone else have a good time during the free hour. They've never sat in those dreadful fifteen minutes of homeroom praying for the goddamned bell to ring so they don't have to listen to the taunts of the jocks that sits around them. 

So I talk down to them. Why shouldn't I? It's my one opportunity to get back at them. To make them feel as tiny and as inadequate as I do. It's my one opportunity to poke a hole in their egos. To take them down a peg or two.     

But Tai. It all comes back to him, doesn't it? I thought he was my best friend, but he really isn't, is he? I...I never meant to talk down to him. He's never judged me. Sure, he's made a few snide comments about my laptop, but I thought he was kidding. He's never looked at me like I was some freaky little alien child from another solar system, and he's never given me that look of disgusted contempt that everyone else in our class seems to save especially for nerdy little me.

Izzy. The short, pitiable social leper. God, I'm pathetic, right?

Why did he insist on dragging me to this party? God, am I going to be able to keep even a tiny shred of dignity when they do decide to play a prank on me, or is it going to be one of those single-most-humiliating moments of my life? 

"Geez, Izzy. There you are. I've been looking all over the place for you. What are you doing out here?" I stare down at Tai's sneakers as he stands in front of me. I can't look up at him. If I did, he'd be able to tell that something was wrong. It's all I can do not to let the tears sneak out as it is. The last thing I want to see now is his pity.

"I just came out to think." I mumble numbly.

"Well come on back inside. Everyone's having a blast."

"You go ahead. I'm fine out here."

"Ah c'mon, Izzy. Don't be like this."

"I'm serious, Tai. Just go back in there and have fun. I'm fine." I grind out behind gritted teeth. For a couple of tense moments, he just stands there and I stare at his stupid sneakers.

"Something's wrong." He says finally. God damn him, anyway.

"Tai, just leave me alone." I mutter.

"Nah. This party's getting boring anyway, let's go back to my place." Of course, then he moves, and I can hear him swearing at his car door again. The lock sticks all the time. Finally, he gets it open, and I hear the lock pop open on the passenger side door behind me. If I weren't such a coward, I'd make him go back to the party. But for whatever reason, I think I'm getting a reprieve from the prank. On the other hand, I could be wrong and this is just the beginning of my humiliation and I'm walking willingly into it.

I climb into the car, slam the door shut, and buckle up. I can't look over at him though, so I stare out the window instead. It's not like this is anything new for me. I get pensive a lot around him, so he won't know I'm onto him and this prank.

God, I'm more than a little paranoid aren't I?

Maybe he's just feeling sorry for me again.

"Izzy?"

"Hm?"

"What happened?"

"Nothing, why?"

"You're just...nevermind. Listen...I'm sorry I dragged you to the party, I honestly thought it would be fun for you, too." Liar. I can't make myself look at him though as I think it.

Watching the streets go by, I can at least comfort myself with the fact that he's decided not to help the others play that prank on me. We are going back to his place. I know the route well enough to tell.   

He pulls into his drive way and I almost cringe. Do I ask him to drive me home? Do I want to go home? Can't I just pretend that this night never happened?

"Izzy?" I swing my head over to see that he's already gotten out of the car and he's waiting for me to do the same. Reluctantly, I unbuckle and climb out. "C'mon, Izumi. What happened?" he demands as he slides onto the hood of his car and leans back to look up at the stars.

When I think of all the times he and I have just sat out here like this, just talking. Was that real? Or was he just humoring me then too? Slowly, I climb up onto the hood of his car, but I don't lean back like I usually do. Instead I just sit there, drawing my knees up against my chest and resting my chin on them.

"Nothing happened. Why do you keep asking?" It's all I can do to keep my voice sounding neutral, there's a stubborn little hitch in it that keeps threatening to peep through. I thought he was my friend. 

"Cause I'm sure something did happen. You're a pretty crummy liar." He says, and I sneak a glance at him out of the corner of my eyes. He's got his hands behind his head and he's just lying there watching me.

"Truth or Dare?" I ask.

"Truth."

"Why did you really take me to that party?" I can't look at him as I ask it, and I can feel the tears sneaking into my eyes again. Why am I doing this to myself? Why can't I just ask him to drive me home? Oh no, I've got to pick away at it and make him tell me the slimy truth. God, I never did know when to leave well enough alone. 

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" He returns angrily. I can physically feel my stomach drop, and I can feel one of those stupid tears slip past my eyelid. Damn. I want to wipe it away, but I know he'd see...

"Just give me an answer, okay?"

"Because you're my best friend! Is that some kind of crime? Sheesh. I'm sorry if I'm not the kind of person that you'd have wanted for a best friend, but I think we've had some pretty great times together. I thought it would be fun. Crazy idea, I know. A party being fun, what was I thinking, right?"

"Then why'd you ditch me the minute we walked through the door?" I snap.

"Huh? I didn't ditch you. I thought you were behind me. When I stopped to turn around you weren't there, and when I went back to find you, you were already talking to Mike so I went outside to jump on the trampoline..."

"And then you went to talk to Claire." I finish for him. He looks a tiny bit confused for a second, and then I can see the understanding dawning on his face.

"Truth or Dare?" He asks me quietly and I glare at him. He just stares straight back at me though.

"Dare." I say finally. I've had enough of the truth for one night.

"Man, you've got balls." He laughs, and I roll my eyes. "If I were going to get even for that 'underwear incident', now would be a great time."

"No one made you accept the dare." I point out. Of course, there's an irony there. Tai? Not accept a dare? Yeah, right. And the sun won't come up tomorrow.

"My mother is never, ever going to forgive me for going door to door in our neighborhood trying to sell her underwear."

"C'mon Tai, what's the dare already?"

"I dare you to kiss me." I swing my head around, and gawk at him in shock.

"Excuse me?"  I can feel my face flushing. He…he doesn't know, does he? I've never told him, I've never acted that way towards him…have I? But if he doesn't know than why is he daring me to do something stupid like this? Is he making fun of me? Or is it that he just doesn't think I have the guts to do something like this?

"You heard me." He smirks, and I can practically hear him calling me a chicken. So he doesn't think I'll have the guts to do it. So I'm just some kind of wussy, computer nerd who would never ever dare to rise to the challenge, right? I glare at Tai's smirking face for a moment, and then I lean over and grab a handful of his shirt in my hand. I'll show him.

I bend over and lower my head until our foreheads are almost touching. He's still got that shitty-ass grin on his face. He honestly thinks I'll back out of the dare! That...that jerk! Just because I like learning things, and just because I spend a lot of time on the computer, it does not follow that I'm some weak willed nerd without a life or a sense of pride!

Closing my eyes, I lean in the rest of the way and press my lips against his. And as I feel his hand brush against my cheek, I vow to myself that I'm definitely going to find a way to get even with him for screwing around with my feelings like this.