CHAPTER 1
NB: All characters in this story are owned by NBC.
Abby Lockhart sat in her apartment
puffing on a cigarette near her bedroom window. She didn't even know why she
was smoking or why she even felt the urge to have a cigarette after going two
months straight without one. She had a headache and she knew that the cigarette
probably wasn't helping her. Her thoughts were far away and at the same time
she was trying to come up with a decent believable excuse in her head as to why
she wasn't going to be in work later on that afternoon. Of course the real
reason she didn't want to go into work was because of her fellow colleague. John
Carter.
"God! " she said out loud "even thinking about him
is making me insane, maybe I should just call him and demand an explanation for
him ending our friendship. How dare he!!!" Abby couldn't understand why she was
so worked up about it but she was and she needed answers from Carter, but she
knew that if she avoided him she wasn't going to get any answers. Why was this
so difficult for her? And why did she keep hearing Carter's voice over and over
in her head telling her that their friendship was over? Abby took the last drag
from her cigarette and threw it out onto the street below. She decided to have
a cup of coffee to calm her nerves further seeing as having a cigarette had no
effect whatsoever.
As she poured herself a cup of coffee she pondered
on whether to call Dr. Weaver and let her know that she wouldn't be in work
today, that she had some 24-hour bug or something. She then went to collect the
morning paper and was just returning back to her apartment when her phone rang.
She figured she'd let the answering machine take it. Then again she thought it
might be Carter so she picked it up. It wasn't Carter. It was her ever so
devoted boyfriend Luka Kovac.
Luka was asking her if she wanted to meet him for
lunch before their shift that morning. Abby felt uneasy for a moment, she
hesitated to answer Luka and then told him that she was feeling ill, that she
had a tummy bug. She asked him to let Weaver know she would be off work today.
Luka agreed but wanted to come and see her. Abby brushed him off saying that he
might catch it. After hanging up Abby was overcome with a huge sense of guilt.
Why was she taking out her anger on Luka?
~ ~ ~
It was 12:30pm that afternoon and John Carter had
just woken up, looking at the bright red numbers on his alarm clock he groaned.
He had overslept. Now he only had half hour to get dressed and get to work. He
got up and made his way into the shower splashing cold water over his face in
an attempt to wake him up. He figured he'd grab a cup of coffee at work. He
went over to his answering machine and saw the red light bleeping. He pressed
the button without thinking and heard a familiar voice on the other end.
"Carter it's me Abby, if you're in please pick up
the phone. We need to talk okay so call me back……………….." again without thinking
Carter pressed the delete button then sighed loudly as he heard the voiceover
say "message deleted." He then decided that he had to get out of here.
~ ~ ~
"John, are you
okay? You look a little down" Jing Mei Chen was asking Carter as he was sipping
his coffee whilst sitting at the admit desk that afternoon at County General. He
looked up at her but didn't answer.
"John" she prompted him.
"I'm fine" he finally answered "Just tired"
"You want to talk about it? We've got a few
minutes before we start work"
"No thanks," Carter got up and walked over to the
board to see whom his first patient was. Just then he saw Doctors Weaver and
Kovac enter the hospital and he couldn't help but overhear their conversation.
"Abby won't be in today…she's come down with a
stomach bug" Dr. Kovac was saying.
"Thanks for letting me know" Dr. Weaver said. Carter
approached Dr. Weaver to ask him where he would be working for the day.
"Steady on Carter let me get my stuff sorted. I've
only just arrived. You've got a few minutes yet. Go get a coffee, I'll come and
find you"
Carter knew better than to argue with Dr. Weaver
but he didn't feel like having more free time on his hands. He was still trying
to figure out whether Abby was ill or was she just trying to avoid him. He
headed for the lounge.
~ ~ ~
Later that afternoon Abby was still in her
apartment now wondering whether she should just go to work. She was going out
of her mind in the apartment. Maybe she should go to work and face things by
talking to Carter. Yes that was it; she had to talk to him because he obviously
hadn't bothered to return her call. She grabbed her coat and headed out.
~ ~ ~
"Yeah I'm sorry about that………..I feel much
better now…."Abby was explaining to Dr. Weaver later that day at County
General.
"Okay well if you're sure, you can see the patient
in Curtain 3. He needs a wrist burn treated"
"Thanks" Abby said as she headed towards Curtain
3. She didn't see Carter anywhere. He must be busy.
~ ~ ~
"Damn it
Chuny when I ask you to get something I expect you to get it for me not gossip
in the hallway"
"All right, I said I'm sorry." Chuny said. She
couldn't figure out what was wrong with Carter today but he certainly was
behaving strangely.
Carter took off his gloves and threw them down in
frustration. It was then that he spotted Abby. What was she doing here? He
pretended he hadn't seen her and turned to head the other way but she had seen
him and was calling his name. He kept walking.
"Dr. Carter…Dr. Carter wait up" Carter stopped and
turned to face her. He stared at her for a while and then she broke the
silence.
"Can we go for a walk?"
Carter was still staring at her. Wow he thought
I am so attracted to her right now but to Abby he replied
"I don't think so"
"So you were serious when you said our friendship
was over?"
He nodded but inside it was killing him. All he'd
wanted was to tell her how he felt, that he was falling in love with her and he
didn't know what to do about it"
"Well I'm sorry Carter, I don't buy it. I think we
need to talk this through like adults. Meet me by the river in five minutes"
Saying that she walked off leaving Carter to stare
after her.
~ ~ ~
Abby wasn't sure whether Carter would
turn up. She stared out towards the river and turned round to see if he was
coming. She'd give him a few more minutes and then she'd leave. Then she saw
him. He was all hunched up and looked cold. He was coming toward her. She
turned back to face the river and waited for him to approach her which he did.
"Hey" he said
"Hey"
"Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long. I just
had to finish with a patient."
"No it's okay………..so um…well I don't know how to
put this…but…………okay, I've been going out of my mind about this whole thing and
I can't for the life of me figure out why you are ending our friendship. I mean
is it me? Have I done something to offend you? Because if I have I
apologise…………" her voice trailed off and she took a sip of her coffee. Carter
just sat their looking down at his hands Is he going to say anything Abby
thought or am I going to have to do all the talking.
"Carter…. look at me, you used to be able to talk
to me so easily………I can't believe you want to throw all that away."
Carter looked up but didn't quite meet her gaze.
He was afraid, afraid to tell her how he felt but he shouldn't feel afraid.
This was Abby. He could talk to her about anything, anything except this he
thought.
"Look Carter, I don't want anything from you okay,
just an explanation for all this."
"You know Abby if you'd listened to everything
else I told you before then maybe you'd know why I decided to end the
friendship."
"What?" Abby practically shouted "okay well you
told me that the friendship was convenient for me and not for you but that is
so not fair."
"That's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean? I mean did you think that
I would just take this light heartedly, forget about it and except it?"
"Abby I never meant to hurt you." He now looked
directly at her and realised that he had hurt her. He reached out to hold her
hand and squeezed it. Abby smiled at him briefly.
"So why are you then?" she said more gently "I
really care about you Carter and I don't want to lose you as a friend" Carter
saw a small tear drop from her eye as she spoke.
"Abby………I just don't want to be the other guy
okay. It's just too hard……………I can't go on being the shoulder you cry on when
you want to talk about Luka."
Abby recalled Luka being mentioned in their
conversation earlier, what was it that he had said about Luka before? As
if answering her question Carter said.
"I meant what I said before that I don't want to
wish bad things for you and Luka…………and I really don't"
"I don't understand, why are you bringing Luka
into this?" Carter got angry at hearing this.
"Because it has everything to do with Luka! He's
just…………..he's always there you know……………..and I feel like I'm the other guy
and that's not what I want Abby…………………"
Suddenly
it dawned on Abby what Carter was trying to tell her, finally she was making a
break through in this awkward situation.
"Oh my god! Carter I've been so blind…………." She
couldn't believe that she hadn't seen this one coming. She felt so selfish.
"I'm so sorry, you must think I'm so
insensitive." She turned away from him.
"Abby I didn't mean to ………….I just can't help the
way I feel……………….I'm sorry but……………..I think I'm in love with you."
"Carter," this time she held his hand.
"It's okay you don't have to say anything, I know
you don't feel the same way………….I understand."
"I really can't make any sense of this right
now……………………how long have you felt this way?"
"A while I guess. I kept telling myself that it
could never work but then I kept seeing you all the time and I was helping you
all the time and I just thought that we might have a chance. I guess that was
just wishful thinking right," he smiled slightly.
"And all this time……………..god Carter I feel so
bad…I don't know what to say to you" Then before he knew what he was doing
Carter leaned forward and kissed her on the lips
~ ~ ~
To be continued
