Sara opened her eyes slowly,
only to have them be invited by the blinding sunlight, Sara brought her
hand up to her eyes and used her hand as a shield against the sunlight.
Sara shifted in the hospital bed, but once she did so she felt a pain shoot
up her left leg, she looked down and saw it was in a cast. Sara closed
her eyes as she remembered what happened, she had been dancing in the play
and Federicko had tripped over the black cord that had been carelessly
laid out in the middle of the stage, they had both fallen down, but she
had fallen down the wrong way on her foot, she had felt it snap and then
she had screamed at the raging pain.
"You're awake." Roy said
quietly, as he made his way over to Sara.
Sara nodded, opening her
eyes back up, she forced a smile, despite what her body was feeling. "It's
broken isn't it?"
Roy nodded sadly, the doctors
had told him that the foot was indeed broken, and even when it healed that
Sara's dancing would never be the same, there would always be a bit of
pain in that foot of Sara's. "I'm so sorry."
Sara felt hot tears prick
at her eyes, no this couldn't be happening... she had worked so hard to
get where she was and she was back where she was last year in Chicago,
nowhere. "Will I be able to dance again?" Sara asked.
Roy stared back at his daughter,
not wanting to tell her the news that her dancing would never be the same,
that there would always be pain in that foot of hers, that her dreams were
being destroyed because of one damn cord. "The doctors said when your broken
foot is healed that it won't be able to function the way it used to be,
your dancing won't be the same."
Sara nodded slowly, trying
her hardest not to cry; your dancing won't be the same. Those words
had felt like a deliberate slap to the face, her dream of becoming a dancer
were being destroyed because some jerk had left the cord in the middle
of the stage and Federicko had tripped on it. "No..." Sara whimpered as
the tears escaped out of her eyes.
Dancing was what she wanted
to do ever since she was a little girl, dancing was what her mother had
supported her in no matter what, dancing was her link to her mom, and
to herself, and now she could never dance the same way. What did that mean
anyways? They might as well say that she could never dance again, instead
of trying to sugarcoat what was happening to her.
"I am so sorry baby, I know
how much you wanted to be a dancer..." Roy hugged Sara and surprisingly
she let him, he held her body tight to his as she cried.
This wasn't fair, Sara wanted
to scream, but she couldn't get past the crying, this wasn't fair kept
repeating in her brain, why was this happening to her? She had everything
she wanted, she had her dream and Derek and now she had nothing...
Derek.
Sara cried even harder thinking
what his reaction would be when she told him about the injury and how she
couldn't dance again, Sara didn't want to hear the sorrow in his voice,
she wouldn't be able to stand it, she would break down. Sara tightened
her grip on Roy, not feeling this sort of warmth since her mom died, Sara
had tried to deny Roy, to deny that she loved him, but she did. They had
gotten close after she left Chicago, she had given him a chance to be a
dad and he had excelled at it, he even came to Julliard to see her first
play, Sara cried some more as she thought of the play. That was supposed
to be her popular debut but instead it had been the end of her career,
what would she do now? She couldn't possibly stay at Julliard and not dance,
where would she go?
Chicago.
Sara knew that was where
she was going to go back to, it was the only place to go, the only place
she could call home now. Sara had learned to call Chicago home, she had
friends there... IE: Chenille, Snooky... but she also had enemies ... IE:
Nikki. But right now Sara didn't care about Nikki, she didn't care about
the small apartment she would be greeted with in a few days, all she cared
about was that she had lost something, something that had meant the world
to her, and now she felt like a lost little girl. She felt like a little
girl that wanted her mommy, except her mommy was nowhere to be found, so
Sara would take the next best thing, she would take her dad. She no longer
called him Roy, well she occasionally did, but she mostly called him dad,
it sounded good calling him that, it had taken a while but now she was
used to it.
"Can we go home?" Sara said
softy, shocked that she could find her voice through all the tears.
Roy pulled away and stared
at Sara, he finally nodded. "Yeah we can." Roy said as he grabbed the bag
Carol had given him on the way to the hospital. "Yeah we can." Roy repeated
himself.
Roy knew that Sara was hurting,
but he didn't know what else to say, he was still learning how to be a
dad, he was just glad that she wanted to come home, to come home with him,
that she would call his apartment, Chicago, home. Roy helped Sara out of
the hospital bed, and cast another apolgetic look to his daughter.
"Don't." Sara snapped. "Stop
staring at me like I'm glass, I'm not going to break." Sara said holding
onto Roy.
Roy nodded and guided her
into the wheelchair, and rolled her out of her hospital room. "I don't
know what to do, what to say, I'm trying but I --- I just keep wanting
to say sorry, hoping that maybe if I say sorry enough times, that you'll
get better."
Sara would have usually laughed
at something that naive, but instead it made her want to cry, to cry forever
and never stop, but no more tears right now, she would let the tears create
a river once they got home, but right now she wanted to be strong. "Face
it Roy, I'm broken, and there is nothing you, or I, can do about it. It
doesn't matter how many times you say you're sorry, it doesn't take back
the fact that my dream is gone."
Roy nodded sadly and signed
Sara out and rolled her out of the hospital. "What should I say then?"
Sara pushed herself up once
they stopped in front of Roy's car. "Right now, nothing. I just need silence."
Roy nodded to himself and
helped Sara in the car and shut her door, he then walked over to his side
of the car and got in, and shut the door too, he started the car up and
drove off, in silence. He knew Sara wasn't ready to talk about the injury
or actually going home, so right now he would allow Sara that silence.
"So do you still live in
that apartment?" Sara asked, looking out the window.
Roy nodded."Yep, and your
room is the exact way you left it."
Sara squinted her eyes. "Oh
great." Sara said sarcastically.
"Look, I know that you're
not happy about coming back, and I wish there was a way for me to rewind
time and make this all go away for you, but I can't. All I can do is be
here for you and tell you that time will heal that broken foot."
Roy said softly.
Sara shook her head. "Time
may heal the broken feet, but what about my heart? You can still play jazz,
I can't still dance, so until you know how it feels to have your dream
yanked away from don't act like you're an expert on how I feel."
Roy nodded and the drive
home was in silence, Roy would occasionally look over at Sara, but all
he would catch was the side of her face, considering her eyes were glued
to the window of the car.
[ Back in Chicago ]
"Okay, we're here." Roy stated
as he pulled the car in front of his apartment. "Sara?"
Sara popped her head up.
"I heard you." Sara walked out of the car, bringing her bag with her.
"Let me get that." Roy grabbed
Sara's bag and walked up the long stairs that led to his apartment.
Sara watched Roy walk up
the stairs, she watched him put the bag down and then run back down stairs,
he wrapped his arm around and helped her up the stairs
"I didn't have the time to
clean up, with having to fly to Julliard to see your play, well anyways,
there's your room, just like you left it." Roy said, putting Sara'a bag
to the side.
"Thanks." Sara hopped over
to her room. "I'm going to get some sleep okay?"
Roy nodded and watched Sara
close the sliding doors to her room.
Sara sighed, and sat down
on the floor of the room, taking in a deep breath. Roy was right, not a
thing had changed since she left this room, well except now there was a
phone in the room, Sara leaned over and grabbed the phone.
Derek ran over to the phone,
dropping his books. "Hello?"
Sara closed her eyes at the
sound of Derek's voice. "Derek?"
Derek smiled instantly. "Hey
you, how was the play?" Derek sat down on his bed.
"Not so good..." Sara started
but then her voice trailed off, not knowing how to break this to Derek,
how she could possibly tell him what happened without breaking down.
Derek frowned. "What happened?"
Sara took in a deep breath.
"There was this cord in the middle of the stage, Federicko tripped on it
and we both fell."
Derek's eyes widened. "Are
you okay?"
Sara sighed. "I broke my
foot. The doctors said it will heal with time, but the pain will always
be there, and that my dancing will never be the same, they just should
say that I can never dance again, they should try to stop sugarcoating
it."
Derek's face dropped. "Oh
my god Sara, that's awful. Where are you now?"
"Back in Chicago living with
my dad. Had nowhere else to go, I obviously couldn't stay at Julliard,
so here I am. Look it's not that a big of a deal, how was your tests?"
Sara said, trying to change the subject.
Derek shook his head. "Not
that big of a deal? You broke your foot Sara, it's a big deal, a real big
deal."
Sara took a breath. "What
the hell am I supposed to do about it? I can't make the injury go away!
I can't just say 'injury go away' and have it be gone! I can't change the
fact that I am not going to dance again, I can't make the pain go away!"
Derek sighed. "But ignoring
this isn't going to make it go away either. I can come down in two days,
can you hold on until then?"
Sara nodded. "Yeah..."
Derek took in a deep breath.
"Okay, I'll see you in two days, I love you Sara."
Sara let a soft smile play
with her features. "I love you too."