"So how was your meeting last night" Luka Kovac asked Abby as they both made their way to County General.
"Oh it was okay you know the usual" Abby replied
without looking at him
"So are you still expected to go to the meetings?
I mean you have been sober for a while"
"It's the procedure Luka plus I feel like going."
The last thing Abby wanted this morning was Luka
to start asking her odd questions. It felt bad enough lying to him and somehow
she couldn't see herself telling him where she'd been last night because she
was still trying to make light of it herself. She had spent half the night at
Carter's. Okay so nothing had happened, nothing that she should feel guilty
about but she still had that awful feeling in her stomach, that maybe she
shouldn't have stayed too long at Carter's. The true fact of the matter was
when she woke up in the morning; she had spent ages thinking about Carter and
how vulnerable he had been last night, the way he's asked her to just hold him.
He was still lost, she could tell, he was just looking for comfort, but was she
the right person to comfort him given the current situation they were in? Abby
recalled the way she had watched Carter slowly drift off to sleep like a little
child. She had stroked his hair gently and then covered him up and then she
hadn't done the sensible thing and left, instead she just sat there and watched
him sleep, she'd never watched anyone sleep before. It always seemed a little
creepy to do that, but with Carter it hadn't seemed that way and that bothered
her.
"Abby…………Abby. I asked you three times can you
take care of the patient in curtain two please" Abby heard a distant voice in
the background calling out her name.
"Abby" there it was, she had heard it again. She
turned around and jumped.
"Oh my god! Dr. Green you scared me"
"I need your help in curtain two," he paused then
said, "This is a hospital Abby there's no time for daydreaming."
"I'm sorry I'll be right there."
Abby felt a bit flustered at being caught out by
one of her senior colleagues. Dr. Green was usually so nice to her but everyone
knew something was up with him. Reluctantly Abby grabbed a clipboard and made
her way to curtain two.
~ ~ ~
"Carter can you please concentrate. I said 2 mg of
resed"
"I got it okay" Carter swore that if he heard one
more comment on his performance from Luka he would punch him.
"If you are not feeling up to this Carter I can
get someone else you know."
"Fine you know what, do that" saying that he
pulled of his gloves and threw them on the floor giving Luka a disgusted stare
before he left. If it was one thing he wasn't going to put up with it was
taking shit from Luka. They had clashed many times before over silly things but
it seemed whenever Carter was around him he tried to show off his authority. Carter
spotted Dr. Dave at the admit desk. He quickly rushed over to him.
"Hey Dave um…I'll take that." He grabbed the
clipboard Dave was carrying.
"What hey man, I'm taking that patient," Dave
argued.
"Not anymore" Carter walked off.
~ ~ ~
"Right Mrs
Evans I am going to need to do a blood test on you and then I can analyse the
results."
"I'm okay though. I don't have a kidney infection
or anything?" Mrs. Evans asked Carter whilst he was examining her in curtain 1
that afternoon.
"Once we get the blood sample we can rule out any
kind of infection and diagnose you."
"Carter can I have a word please?" Dr. Weaver was
standing outside the curtain.
"Sure" He stepped out "What is it?"
"Why are you here? I assigned this patient to
Dave. You were asked to assist Luka on that head trauma that just came in."
"I um………well he didn't need my help."
"Carter the man was crashing and there were
supposed to be two doctors on the case."
"Okay I'll get back to it."
"There's no need now the patient's stable again,
but they could have done with an extra pair of hands. Anyway Luka informs me
that you seem to have a problem working with him."
Carter didn't answer her
"Is this true?"
"I have no problems working with anyone Dr.
Weaver………….but Dr. Kovac can be a little to pushy and I don't like anyone
undermining me when I'm seeing to a patient."
"Regardless Carter your job is to save the patients,
and if you have problems with Dr. Kovac I suggest you get them sorted so they
don't interfere with your work."
"Yes Dr. Weaver" Carter knew that he was in the
wrong so he just agreed with Dr. Weaver.
"Now get back to work"
Carter went back into see Mrs Evans.
"Haleh have you got this covered" he said
"Yeah but we need you to check something out."
"Give me two seconds" he left the room and headed
for the lounge. He needed some coffee.
~ ~ ~
"So I was like you know……………..what is your problem
man? Just because you've been here longer than me doesn't give you the right to
mess with me."
"That's not like John at all"
"I'm telling you Debs he is losing it……………big
time."
"I'm losing it huh Dave…………thanks," Carter said as
he walked in the lounge.
"John, hey" Jing Mei greeted him with a smile.
"Well pardon me for being rude but this is nothing
compared to what you gave me this morning" Dave continued.
"Okay Dave I'm sorry I should have asked you first."
"Thank you………I got to get this up to Dr. Benton
before he throws a wobbly on me" He left the room leaving just Carter and Jing
Mei.
"John……………is there anything bothering you?" Jing
Mei said after a short period of silence. Carter stared at her.
"You couldn't begin to imagine Deb." Was all he
managed to say
"You can talk to me you know………I've actually been
wanting to talk to someone about a few things…. you know someone who
understands what I'm going through."
"I'd be happy to listen Deb" he smiled at her.
"I got in touch with Linda again about the
baby………..you know and I just I felt really helpless you. I could hear him
crying in the background"
"They are giving him a good home you know."
"I know"
They were interrupted by Abby.
"Dr. Chen I got that number for you and you better
come quick Mrs. Kelly's playing up again."
"I got to go we'll talk soon John."
Carter was not happy about the fact that he was in
the same room as Abby. He felt very uncomfortable.
"I didn't interrupt anything did I? " Abby asked.
"No not really we were you know just talking."
"Right…"
"Carter…"
"Abby"
The spoke at the same time
"Okay um you go first……… go on" Abby said
"Well I was wondering if you were free tonight?"
"Um………….tonight……………well I don't know"
"It's just that I have this meeting and I have to take my sponsor…and I was
wondering if you'd go with me."
"Carter………"she hesitated for a while and then
said, "What time is the meeting?"
"6:30 I checked your
schedule you're off at 5"
"Do you think it will
help if I come along?" Abby asked.
"Well actually it's my
last meeting you know then that's it I don't have to go anymore."
"Okay well I guess I
could come along"
~ ~ ~
"You know I feel like I should have given up
going to those meetings a long time ago."
"Why do you say that?"
Abby said
"I mean I know I may
never be completely cured but going to those meeting it really puts you back in
that position when you were getting high."
Carter and Abby had just
gotten back from the meeting and were now discussing it over a cup of coffee.
"I guess I can understand that…………I kept going to
my meetings even after I was sober for a year and then I finally gave up, well
at least I thought I gave up. I guess they can become addictive."
"The most overwhelming part is where you have to
share and you know you can't get out of it because you've got like all these
people staring at you hanging onto your every word."
" Tell me about it" Abby said. "I had this one
time…………when I had to share right……….. And this guy comes up to me later on and
tells me that I made all that up…and I was like what? It was quite hilarious
because I spent the next half hour convincing him that I actually was a
recovering drunk and you know attending these meetings wasn't just my idea of a
pastime because my life was just so boring……………I can't believe I let him ramble
on at me like that and then you know he stared to have a dig at my love life
and I think I wanted to whack him one."
Carter was laughing.
"That would have been really funny, mind you I
can't see you getting physical with anyone."
"Oh really." Then Abby burst out laughing. "I
can't picture it either."
Their coffees had arrived. Carter thanked the
waitress and then turned his attention back to Abby.
"You know I got this really interesting story
about my senior prom at high school." Abby was saying, "I was involved in this
fight you know. I kind of stirred up some trouble"
"Abby!"
"I know but that was the fun part. These proms
were like so boring someone had to spice them up………so I used to um tell people
these stories about their boyfriends and you know they weren't even believable
stories and these girl would believe me…they were so gullible"
"Looks like you had your fair share of fun in high
school"
"You know I don't look back on it with regret.
They were good memories, it's the few years after that that I like to forget
including my time with Richard."
"He can't have been that bad."
"Oh he was worse."
"Only three days into the marriage and I was wondering
why the hell I married him. I actually felt like he'd gotten me drunk on the
wedding day and gotten said the vows, of course I know now that I was
completely sane when I married him so I guess it is partly my fault."
"People make mistakes…………they can only try and get
over them"
"Well it took me four years to get over the
mistake of Richard, mind you I have been told that if I hate him so much I
should probably change my last name."
"Oh…Lockhart is your married name."
"Unfortunately yes………I never changed it only
because my maiden name is so weird Wyzinski. I prefer Lockhart and plus that's
how everyone knows me now………….so what's the point of changing it" Abby took a
sip of her coffee "Wow you know by the way we've been chatting away tonight no one
would have guessed we were in the middle of a situation…" Abby stopped talking
when she noticed Carter's expression change. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to………"
"Its okay……….we really shouldn't spoil such a
wonderful evening by getting into that discussion. I mean I know where I stand
now………..and I have to try and get over that."
"Well to be honest with you Carter I'm beginning
to wonder where I stand in all this. I just realised you know how comfortable I
feel around you. I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not."
"What are you saying that you can't be yourself
with Luka?"
"No not that…………I'm saying that I haven't been
able to give myself completely to Luka, you know it's like my heart feels
incomplete, that's why I'm having to lie to him every time I meet with you. I
feel like something is going on between us even though there isn't"
"That's' exactly how I've been feeling …………well
since I realised that I had feelings for you. I felt that if I continued to be
your friend I would eventually be the reason that you and Luka broke up and I
didn't want that"
"Well I don't know what I want anymore Carter.
Luka has been so good to me…………and I don't want to hurt him but you know when I
see you I can't be myself and I start behaving all funny with Luka, he's not
stupid Carter."
"I never said he was stupid…I just don't think he
knows how lucky he is to have you…because if I were him I'd never want to let
you go."
They held each other's gaze for a while as if to tell each other that they both felt the same way. Abby looked away first and grabbed her coat and walked out of the coffee house. Carter followed her and called out her name.
"Abby wait…………I'm sorry"
Abby turned around and looked at him. She went to him
not taking her eyes off his face. She reached him and was standing a few inches
from him, there faces nearly touching. She lifted her face up to his, a few
inches closer and there lips would meet. She could feel his warm breath on her
cheek. He bent down and pressed his lips against her, that was all Abby needed,
She kissed him passionately not wanting it to end. It sent chills right to the
back of her spine but it felt good. She was melting as he deepened the kiss.
She came up for a breather, looked at him and smiled before they melted into
another long passionate kiss. She was feeling his temperature rise and her
breathing was getting faster. Then Carter stopped.
"You want to come back to my place." Abby looked
up at him as if she was surprised at his request.
She took his hand and they made their way down the
street, towards the car park. Abby had no idea where the night would lead her
but it felt right and right now she didn't really care about much else.