Carter lay awake in his bed

Carter lay awake in his bed. He turned his head to see Abby fast asleep next to him. Wow he thought, she's so beautiful and I can't believe I'm actually waking up with her. He had to admit it was a great feeling. He couldn't seem to take his eyes of her perfect face. He felt like caressing her skin gently but he chose not to, instead he planted a very light kiss on her cheek. She stirred a little but wasn't quite awake yet. Carter wondered if she would have a huge shock when she saw him and realised she was in his apartment. Would she freak out? But Carter knew that the previous night Abby had willingly agreed to come back to his place. She had kissed him. Did this mean that she wanted him? Well he'd probably have to wait for her to wake up before he found out. About an hour later Abby woke up and stretched her arms. She wasn't in her bed? She was at Carter's and she'd spent the night with him?

"Oh god!" she muttered a little too loudly. Carter who had gone back to sleep turned around to face her.

"Hey sleepyhead" Abby stared at him sheepishly "You okay?" he continued.

"What did we do?" Abby exclaimed.

"Well I think it's obvious don't you?" Carter said not taking her seriously.

"I know that but why did we do it?"

"I don't know I was hoping you were going to tell me."

"I need to go." Abby began to get out of her bed "okay I need to find my clothes."

"Abby no…look you can't go at least let me cook you breakfast. You grab a shower get changed and I'll go make breakfast."

"I can't stay Carter."

"Why not?"

"Because…………I don't know, this feels really awkward."

"Not for me…look just go and take a shower."

~ ~ ~

Abby felt a little calmer after the shower. She quickly changed into her clothes and headed out of the room. Carter was eating some toast while reading the morning paper.

"Can I get some coffee?" Abby said as she walked past him. Carter pointed to the coffee pot.

"Nothing like a nice strong cup of coffee to start the day." he said, Abby didn't say anything, then without thinking Carter straight out asked her the question that had been bugging him.

"Do you regret last night?"

"I should…but I don't, that answer your question" Abby said.

"So it wasn't a mistake that you'd rather forget."

"Well let's just say I'm really really confused about the next step. I mean can we ignore this."

He shook his head and she nodded agreeing with her.

~ ~ ~

"Okay well if you want to get it off your chest I'm all ears" Jing Mei Chen was saying to Carter that day after work. They were having coffee in the lounge"

Without hesitation Carter told Chen about Abby.

"I told Abby that I loved her."

"What?" Chen nearly spat out the coffee she was drinking

"Abby?"

"Yes Abby?"

"Carter I had no idea you felt that way about her………..and anyway isn't she with Luka…."

"Yeah but I guess she can't love him that much……….I think she feels the same way about me"

"Last night we had this totally awesome conversation……….."He ran a hand through his hair and paced back and forth" I know it sounds really ridiculous but it's what want really…Debs I can't begin explain how I feel about Abby…but I know this much I love her…I fell like I can be myself around her and we don't hold back anything from each other. I just want her to realise this you know…to give us a chance because I think I can make her happy…"

~ ~ ~

Abby ran out of County General as fast as she could. Tears streaming down her cheeks, her emotions everywhere. She was a nervous wreck, thank god Luka wouldn't be able to see her like this, and he'd had an earlier shift. Why had she been so stupid? Why had she eavesdropped on someone else's conversation obviously a conversation about her!!! She thought she'd had a right to listen if people were talking about her………but hearing Carter say all those thing about her was just so painful. I mean she should feel great and she certainly shouldn't be crying about it. People like to hear it when others express their love for them but somehow hearing Carter talk about it with another person made it so much more real. More real that she thought it could possibly be and the reason she was so upset about it was she knew she wasn't going to be able to let this one go lying down especially not after sleeping with him. As she stepped out into the broad daylight, she didn't feel her tears lessen nor did she feel any less insecure about things, when she had heard Carter express his feelings for her to Dr. Chen it was so overwhelming it was part of what was setting her off on a fresh round of tears.

She carried on walking; she had no idea where she was headed, somewhere quite where she could be alone. She came to the bench near the riverside. It seemed pretty isolated so she sat down and almost immediately buried her hands in her face and cried. She didn't realise how long she had been sat there crying until she felt a hand touch her on the back of her neck and then she heard a familiar voice.

"Abby are you okay?" It was Cleo. What was she doing here Abby thought? At first Abby wasn't sure what to say.

"You look a little upset" Well duh Abby again thought to herself. How dense was this woman?

"I'm okay," she said quickly trying to dry her tears with her sleeve but she had a feeling Cleo had seen her cry.

"You don't look it"

Don't you have somewhere you have to be Abby felt like screaming out but didn't.

"Really I'm okay. I'm just…. well doing some thinking and if you don't mind I'd rather do that alone"

"Sure I didn't mean to intrude on your privacy I was just concerned."

"Well thank you very much for your concern" Abby said sarcastically.

"Fine be like that." saying that Cleo walked off. Before Abby had a chance to make any sort of apology Cleo had walked off into the distance and once again it was just Abby sitting alone near the riverside

~ ~ ~

"Yeah that would be so great plus it feels like ages since I've seen you……………..busy no just the usual………..Do I really need an excuse to visit my brother?…………..so yeah I will see you in a couple of days………okay I've got to go there's someone at the door………take care…. bye"

Abby opened her door to come face to face with Luka. Well what did she expect to never see him again? I mean officially there were still a couple. She let him in. Before she could say anymore Luka leaned in and gave her a passionate kiss until she pulled back from him. He didn't seem to mind.

"So um have you given any thought to what I said earlier" Abby was puzzled. What had he said earlier? She had no clue.

"Um no I haven't had much time to think lately things have been a bit hectic" Was now the right time to tell him she was going to Florida for a few days? "Actually there's something I wanted to tell you"

"Oh what?"

"Um I'm going away to Florida for a few days to see my brother…………I leave in three days."

"Right when did you decide this" When I realised what an impossible situation I'm in right now or because I'm a coward but to Luka she thought.

"I need a break from my hectic life" she told Luka.

"I see………….it just seems a little too soon…I mean there's not a problem with your mum or anything?"

"No everything's pretty much okay on that front."

"So you're just going to see your brother."

"Yeah…I miss him you know." Abby heard her phone ring in the distance.

"Excuse Me," she said to Luka.

"Hello…………um hi……………….no not right now………….later………….it's not a good time" she hung up.

"Who was that?" Luka asked almost immediately.

"Oh you know one of those survey calls where they want to try and sell you something."

"Abby…………correct me if I'm wrong but I get the feeling you don't want me to be here right now."

"No……….no that's not it."

"But there is a problem." Luka prompted

"No I just have to pack." What a dumb excuse she thought.

"So you can't spend even five minutes with me before you jet of to Florida"

"I'm not jetting if to Florida?" Abby snapped. She didn't like his tone of voice.

"Fine………I'll see myself out then." Luka began to leave.

"Luka listen to me………… I need to go away to think a few things through."

"Well why didn't you just tell me that in the first place."

"Because you'd just try and get me to talk to you and…I…"

"You can't talk to me about whatever it is that's bothering you…that's fine I understand"

"You do?"

"Yes absolutely…have you tried talking to anyone about it………Carter maybe,"

"Carter!" Abby knew that Luka must have noticed her tone of voice as he mentioned Carter."

"Yes I mean he's your friend right he might be able to help you better than I do."

Abby was really confused by Luka's tone. Was he being sarcastic? Trying to tell her that she would rather go to Carter with a problem then to him.

"Luka…I never said that I couldn't talk to you about this. It's just that I'd rather think it through on my own first."

"Yeah I know…. I'm sorry………..I didn't mean to go on about Carter. I do respect that he's your friend."

"Then can we just drop this whole conversation?"

~ ~ ~

Carter knew Luka had to be there with her, he knew it why else would she have cut him off like that. Carter desperately wanted to see Abby. It was such a strong urge that he could almost seem himself pulling his hair out over it.

"God Abby why can't you see that we are meant to be……….. I know you need time but I can't wait much longer."

Carter heard a soft knock on his door. He opened it slowly as if he couldn't possible have imagined Abby would be standing there but she was.

"Hi" she said.

"Hi, I was just thinking about you"

"Yeah me too…about you I mean." She cleared her throat

"You better come in"

"I didn't really think it was a good idea my coming here…………but I went against my better judgement and I'm here anyway."

"Abby why are we still acting like this…………why does it have to be like this every time we meet like we're doing something wrong? Because it sure as hell doesn't feel wrong."

"Carter I'm just here to tell you that I'm leaving town for a few days. I'm um going to Florida to see Eric."

"Right to see Eric," he sounded like he didn't believe her

"Yes to see Eric" Abby said

"It has nothing to do with the fact that you want to avoid this situation we're in Abby… you told me that you didn't regret last night."

"Yes I did but that doesn't mean that I have to ignore the consequences of my actions. There's not just you and me to think about here you know."

"So you're just going to take off."

"I have to…and hopefully when I get back things will be a little bit more clearer for me………..Goodbye Carter" She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek but he grabbed the moment and pressed his lips down hard on hers and she couldn't resist. She then pulled back.

"Bye Carter………..I'll talk to you soon" but to Carter it seemed like he may never see her again