Three days had gone by so quickly for Abby Lockhart, now Florida seemed a million miles away but her problems still loomed ahead of her, largely unsolved and hanging on to her every thought. She wished she could have stayed longer in Florida but then she couldn't afford to be taking too much time of work, as if she could even concentrate on work anymore. Abby pursed her lips slightly. She was feeling very thirsty indeed. She grabbed herself a glass of water and then went by the window. She just stood there for a few minutes; she could just about make out three figures below, probably some kids playing ball or something. Abby hated thinking about her childhood if she could even call it that. She felt like she had grown up too quickly so that she could look after her mum, and the funny thing was she couldn't even turn to her mum when she was about to make the biggest decision in her life. Suddenly Abby froze where she was. What had she just thought? The biggest decision in her life, did that mean she had made a decision? She wasn't so sure?
~ ~ ~
"Carter, a quick word please…in private" Dr.
Weaver said to Carter early that morning at County General.
"Sure, I'll just finish off here"
"Haleh can take care of it."
"Fine" He followed Dr. Weaver into the lounge.
"Have a seat" she said "Your probably wondering
what this is about…how can I put this…Carter is there anything bothering
you…something to do with work maybe, are you finding the night shifts too
much?"
"No not at all. Why do you ask?"
"I'm not sure really…. something about your
behaviour recently just doesn't sit right with me."
Carter stopped her
"Are you suggesting that I'm back on drugs again
Dr. Weaver because if you were I would be very offended"
"No no one is accusing you of anything. We are
just concerned that's all"
"We?"
"Well yes some of the staff has noticed some mood
swings lately"
"Oh come on everybody has an off day"
"Yes I'm aware of that…. but………."
"But you've seen something more weird about my
behaviour"
"There is no need to lose your temper John"
"Well I think I have every right to lose my
temper. You know nothing about me or my life and don't even pretend that you care
when you don't" saying that he stormed out before Dr. Weaver could say anything
more.
~ ~ ~
Carter was heading out of County General that same day. He was so glad his shift was over; all he wanted to do was go home and get some sleep.
"Carter" he heard someone call his name and he
turned around. Oh no he thought. It was Luka.
"Can I have word?"
"No I'm heading home can't it wait till tomorrow."
"No it's important" Luka said
"Fine"
"It's about Abby"
"What about her?"
"You are aware that she went to Florida for a few
days."
"Yeah she might have mentioned it…" he tried to
sound as casual as he could about it.
"I wanted to ask you if you have any idea what's
going with her lately that's all. I mean I realise you too are close friends."
"She hasn't told me anything" the lies just kept
coming "in fact I can't remember the last time Abby and I had a serious chat"
he wondered why he'd just said that. Well he was hardly in a position to tell
Luka that he was in love with his girlfriend and couldn't stop thinking about
her 24/7.
"I'm sorry to put you in this position Carter…but
I can't seem to get through to her"
"Abby's like that sometimes, maybe you should try
a little harder." Luka seemed to agree with him and then headed off home.
~ ~ ~
"I have to call him…I have to" Abby was still in
her apartment on her fifth cup of coffee; well it was better than five
cigarettes. She picked up the phone then put it down. "I need more time……….but
I have to do this. If I put it off any longer it's just going to get harder."
Again she picked up the phone but this time she didn't put it down instead she
dialled Luka's number and waited for him to answer but he didn't his answering
machine picked up so Abby left a message for him.
"Hi Luka it's me Abby…listen I need to see you so
um can you pop by and see me sometime…okay well I'll talk to you soon." Abby
put the phone down very quickly and then she looked at her reflection in the
mirror. The only thing that could possibly comfort her now was…a cigarette.
~ ~ ~
"You wanted to see me?" was the first thing Luka
said when he met Abby the next day.
"Yes I did."
"Okay well what is it?" Why did he have to get
to the point so quickly whatever happened to small talk Abby thought.
"Right well I'm going to just say it okay…………I
don't think we are working out"
Luka didn't say anything just stared at her
blankly. This was not the kind of reaction she had expected.
"I don't feel like we understand each other as
well as we should and I feel that dragging this on isn't going to make things
better" she continued.
"So we're over," he finally said.
"No I'd prefer it if we take a break for a while."
"Just say it Abby it's finished you want me out of
your life."
"That's not what I said."
"Listen to yourself Abby…"
"Luka I'm doing this for both of us."
"Right I see, well I guess there is nothing more to
say. I'll see you at work tomorrow" he left the apartment not once looking back.
~ ~ ~
Abby was shocked at how calm she'd stayed in the
situation, there was so much more she'd wanted to say to Luka but the words
just hadn't come out. Was he ever going to talk to her again? Abby at least
expected herself to feel some resentment towards herself for ending her
relationship with Luka but she didn't, instead she just felt like a huge weight
had been lifted from her shoulders.
~ ~ ~
Three days is a long time, maybe she will have
made a decision about her future with me or with Luka, that Carter did not want
to think about. He missed her so much. She was due back today. Would she call
him to tell him that he meant nothing to her? And that she loved Luka. Carter knew that Abby did have some feelings
for him, they became evident that night when she had kissed him outside the
coffee house, the sheer passion of that kiss and that night had been pure
pleasure and Carter knew that Abby wasn't the type to just use someone. Maybe
he would see her at work tomorrow.
~ ~ ~
"Welcome back Abby…I got you a patient to see" DR.
Weaver greeted her the next day
"Already" Abby graoned.
"I'm afraid so…. your holiday ended when you
walked through that door" Abby saw the smirk Dr. Weaver gave her before she walked
off.
Abby headed for the admit desk.
"Yo Abby How was Florida?" Chuny asked her.
"Fine" she replied
"I could do with a holiday myself"
"We all could Chuny…but hey someone's got to work."
It was Carter. Abby smiled at him and he smiled back.
"Abby" he said as he tried to get past her. She
hadn't realised she was in his way. She
moved away still staring at him. She turned around to see Chuny giving her the
eye. She brushed her off with a look back.
"Chuney has anyone seen to Mr. Holden yet…apparently
he was supposed to go to the OR 20 minutes ago." Carter was saying
"I think Dr Benton's dealing with that."
"I better go track him down"
As Carter left he passed Luka who was making his
way to the desk. Abby saw him and busied herself in the corner.
"Haleh I need some help in trauma two…" he paused
as he saw Abby.
"On second thoughts I'll come with you" he said then
made his way back to trauma two.
Abby turned around when she knew Luka was gone.
Great now she was stuck avoiding him and she'd failed to say anything to
Carter. She wondered if she should say anything to Carter about her break up
with Luka before he heard it from someone else.
~ ~ ~
"I told you Dr. Weaver I'm okay now…. I realise I
shouldn't have walked out on you like that it won't happen again."
"Not a problem, you look a little better today"
but Carter hadn't heard her he was distracted by Abby. She was looking at him
too.
"Carter…" Dr. Weaver turned around to see what
Carter was staring at.
"Uh hem" she cleared her throat.
"I'm sorry you were saying?"
"It doesn't matter…"
Great now Weaver was getting suss about things
he thought
~ ~ ~
"Hey you…are you with us today"
"Yeah sure"
"…John you should go talk to her" Jing Mei said, genuinely
concerned for her friend
"I can't"
"Why not?"
"Because I'm afraid Debs afraid of what she might
say"
"Wouldn't you rather know?"
"Yes but I don't think I could handle the rejection."
"Well you won't know until you ask her… go on"
~ ~ ~
"Um Dr. Carter needs some help in Curtain 3 apart
from that it's pretty quite" Dr. Weaver told Abby later that day.
Okay so she had the perfect opportunity to talk to
Carter. She headed for Curtain three.
When she entered she saw Carter but he hadn't seen
her. He had his back to her and he was talking to an old lady.
"I think it's just a case of mild flu…I'll fix you
up with some antibiotics okay"
"I've been having constant stomach pains too," the
old woman said.
"I see" well I'll look into that. At this point he
saw Abby.
"I'm sorry Dr. Weaver said you needed some help."
"Yep, just take this woman's blood pressure and
sign her off"
"That's it"
"Yep" he said handing her the clipboard.
~ ~ ~
Abby was finishing up with the old lady when
Carter came back in.
"You finished in here" he asked.
"Just about"
"You wanna grab a coffee"
"Um sure"
Grabbing a coffee wasn't an unusual concept to
either Carter or Abby, before it had just been friendly chats about everyday
things but now it could never be just that. Abby decided she should be the one
to bring up Florida.
"So um…I guess I should tell you about Florida."
"Oh yeah how was it? How's your brother?"Abby
hated it when Carter wasn't himself with her. She could see right through him.
"Eric is fine"
"That's good…I mean that's nice to know. I mean
you had a good time. Abby sensed that he was at a loss of words.
"Carter can I ask you something?"
"Sure"
"Okay um…………what did you think about while I was
away?"
"Um…well nothing really. Stuff." Abby looked at
him "okay well I guess I thought about you…a lot"
"Yeah me too…I mean I thought about you and you
know what I realised something……….that I care for you a lot more than I
knew………."
"Well absence does make the heart grow fonder"
"No it was more than that…you know this sense of
loneliness"
"I know what you mean…when you want too talk to someone so bad but they're just
not there."
"Yes…that's it"
"Well you weren't the only one I felt alone the
whole time you were gone…I think I started to act a little weird well according
to Weaver but you know Weaver she's like that." Abby smiled slightly.
"Don't you wish you could hold onto one moment forever
and just never have to face up to the possibilities of what happens next"
"Yeah I get that too……….. a lot"
"Where are we going with this Carter?"
"I don't know…you hold all the answers Abby."
"I broke up with Luka last night" she blurted out.
"What?" Carter was surprised.
"I broke up with Luka" she repeated it.
"Why?" Did he even have to ask?
"Because it was the right thing to do…because I
couldn't stand to lie to him anymore or because I couldn't stand lying to
myself anymore"
"How did he take it?"
"He walked out."
"I'm sorry"
"Don't be. I guess it had to end someday."
"Well if you want to talk about it"
"Talk about it…Carter, why are you still acting
like this as if we're still best friends or something?"
"Well we are aren't we?"
"You know what I mean. You're being so casual
about all this as if it doesn't concern you."
"I'm just trying to help"
"Well your not…because I don't think you can just
become my friend when it suits you…that's not fair on me."
"Abby I'm confused."
"Damn right you are. I have spent three days,
three days thinking about no one but you….and you tell me you want to be my
best friend. That is just so typical."
"Abby I never said that……….you just seemed upset
about Luka"
"Well maybe I'm upset by how you're handling this"
"Okay forget that I said anything about being your
friend."
"Carter I don't want to be your friend why can't
you get that………I want to be so much more…………..can't you see what I'm trying to
say"
"I see it Abby"
He held his arms out to her and she hugged him.
"Oh god you know I was wondering how long I would
go on without this" She held onto him tightly and then she kissed him with all
she had inside her. This was what she wanted. Carter kept kissing her; it was
hard to believe that this was happening. As they continued to kiss Carter
spotted a shadow in the background and before he could see what it was it had
gone.
As they stood there holding each other not wanting
the moment to end. Carter spoke first
"Abby I think I just saw someone over there"
"Where?" Abby turned around.
"Behind the tree…………I have a feeling it was Luka.
"Oh my god know it can't have been him…………..did
you get a good look"
"I think so………..someone with a black coat"
"No…Carter this can't be happening………he can't find
out like this………I have to go after him" and before Carter could stop her Abby
had disappeared.