When we got to the room, the king wasn't there. However, Wyldon, Lord Raoul, Gareth the Younger, and their squires (Kel and Esmond) were.

"The king was unable to come," a fusty old man in a clerk's uniform said. I hadn't noticed him. "So, let us begin." He turned to me. "You claim your name is Laurie Makensri?"

"No," I asnswered.

He sighed impatiently. "I could've taken early retirement, but, no, I had to serve the King. So your name isn't Laurie Makensri?"

"Yes."

"Your name IS Laurie Makensri?"

"No."

"Then what, by Mithros, IS IT?!"

"It's LauriELI Makensri. You forgot the ELI."

He sighed again. "Listen, I just want to get this done with. Now, where are you from?"

"Iowa."

"Where....is...Iowa?!" he asked slowly, as if trying not to get mad.

"In the USA, as any idiot knows!"

"WHERE'S THE USA, &*%$@#?"
"Wow," I said, stunned. "I thought I was the only person who could cuss like that!"

The guy came out from behind the desk where he was scribbling down what I said, came about an inch away from my face, and said, "Listen, missy, I don't like this job AT ALL. I would've retired three years ago, why I didn't, I don't know. Now just tell me where the USA is!"

"It's in North Amer--you know what? Forget. I'm from a place you never heard of. Got it? Good."

"What are you good at?" the clerk asked.

"Martial arts, writing, somewhat good at math, procrastinating, getting bad grades on my science tests, making my room a mess and then cleaning my house--you don't want to know--and singing."

"Singing?" Wyldon asked.

"Yep, singing!" I answered hyperly. Then I started singing. Kel and Esmond covered their ears. "Oh, I'm not all that bad!" and then I started singing "Pretty Fly for a Rabbi" by Weird Al (love that guy!).

"We get the idea!" Gary said.

I smiled in my sweet, innocent little way that I only do when I'm planning something. Back home, people ran away in fear when I smiled like that. Creatures here were not so wise.

At least, most of them weren't.

"Laurie, you're starting to scare me again! Laurie, Laurie, don't smile like that!" Kel said.

"Hey, I'm not doing anything yet! OOO!" I yelled. "I just remembered two more things I'm good at!"

"Black God save us," Esmond muttered. I gave him my evil look.

"Playing pranks and 'The Fly' impressions!"

"'The Fly'?" Raoul asked.

"Yep! Heeeeeeelllllp meeeee, pleeeaaaase dooon't eaaaat meeee!" I said in a high, squeaky voice.

"I did not need to hear that!" the clerk said.

"Whatever!"
Wlydon coughed. "Laurie, about you helping the Shangs--"

"I'd be glad to!" I said, now very hyperish.

"It would be a real paying job. Numair?"

"She could teach the pages and be my apprentice." Numair said.

"Yea! Fun! I gettta torture Oooowwweeen! I getta torture Oooooweeen!" I sang.


Author's Note: I'm sorry! The keyboard, which I spilled soda on, is now fixed! Anyvays, hope you liked it! Wait till you see what Laurie's planning (hint: think what she's good at). That'll be pretty funny. Next chapter, we'll see what happens when Laurie gets the chance to torture Owen! Will she pass up on it? I don't think so!