Disclaimer: They aren't mine. I only borrow them from time
to time.
Spoilers: I'm not sure so let's just go ahead and
say yeah.
Dedication: To B/A fans
Summary: Buffy and Angel have some issues to work
through. Anger and relationship issues. This could get violent.
Author's note: I wrote this a while back. Way
back before I got the nerve to submit it. Please be kind.
Normal
Buffy walked along the market at the Santa Monica pier. It
was an absolutely fabulous day. The sun was bright and warm and there was
enough of a breeze to make it comfortable. Buffy however wasn't interested in
the weather; she wasn't shopping or even paying attention really. She was deep
in thought. The Watcher's Council had sent word through Giles that she was
going to be retired.
She had served in official capacity as the Slayer
for just about 15 years now as she was steadfastly approaching her 30th
birthday and she was called when she was 15. She had saved the world from
impending doom more times than she could remember, I mean there had to have
been at least a dozen apocalypses alone that she had averted. She had fought
every day; some battles within an inch of her life and the sacrifices she'd had
to make over the years were nothing short of impressive. She had been the
Council's greatest warrior for the fight between good and evil.
For this honor they were going to simply dismiss
her. She understood that this was unprecedented and they didn't know what to do
really, after all every Slayer before her had died in battle calling the next
Slayer to the fore but Buffy had cheated even death. So they were just going to
say 'Okay Buffy thanks but we don't need you anymore. You are free to go and
have a normal life now.'
Normal, there was that disgusting word again.
Right, like she was ever going to have a normal existence. Official or not she
would always be the Slayer. It wasn't like she didn't still have superhuman strength or that she
was going to wake up one day and forget everything that had happened over the
last 15 years. So no she may not be the Slayer anymore but it didn't
make her life any more normal that it was before.
She had after all tried to have normal once a
long time ago and she learned the hard way that normal isn't part of the
packaged deal. Besides why settle for normal when she could have exciting,
exhilarating and maybe just a little dangerous.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Buffy walked to the end of the pier and looked
out over the ocean. She closed her eyes and inhaled the fresh salty air. She
tried to clear her mind of everything and for the briefest of moments she did
and she was at peace, for the first time in almost forever. She relaxed into it
almost reveling in it.
Then she felt it. She felt that long forgotten
yet heartbreakingly familiar twinge that started in the core of her. She felt
her blood hum and her insides contract. She could almost hear her soul weep
with knowing. Only one person could do this to her. Only one person had this
power over her very soul.
Angel.
She took a deep breath and hoped the feeling
would pass but it only intensified, meaning he was coming closer. She took a
deep breath and slowly almost hesitantly began to seek him out. She couldn't
see him and then as if from nowhere he was there. Buffy inhaled sharply.
Gods he was incredible.
He was walking along the promenade, his arms
loaded with packages. He was dressed in a white tank shirt and tan colored Bermuda
shorts and he had sandals on his feet. The sun was shining down on him and it
just lit up his face. His muscles rippled when he moved and Buffy just drank
him in like she was in a desert and he was a tall glass of water.
Buffy then noticed his companion, Cordelia. If
seeing them after all this time wasn't such a shock to her system she might
have laughed at the thought of Angel shopping with Cordy. Buffy noticed that
Angel had begun to look around. She knew that he felt her now and was doing what
she had done only moments before.
But the reality of the situation was just now
sinking into Buffy's head. Angel, her Angel who was supposed to be a vampire
with a fatal allergy to direct sunlight was now basking in it, wearing shorts.
Her eyes filled with tears and she couldn't stop the strangled cry that
emanated from her as she sunk down to the ground. She didn't notice that Angel
had seen her right before the tears in her eyes blurred her vision just before
the blackness of unconsciousness enveloped her.
Buffy opened her eyes and realized people
surrounded her.
"What happened?"
"You passed out miss. Are you okay?"
"I passed out?"
"Yes do you remember anything?"
Buffy shook her head no and tried to get to her
feet.
"Someone heard you scream Angel and then you were
on the ground.
Buffy was now fully alert. Angel, she had seen
Angel in the crowd. She pushed her way out of the group of people that had
gathered around her and began to frantically search for him but he was no where
to be found.
"I can still feel you Angel, where are you?" She
muttered to herself. After about five minutes she turned and began to walk away
before she lost her composure and embarrassed herself even further.
"Maybe it's better this way." Buffy mumbled
before heading back towards home. She began to head back up the promenade
trying to fight the tears that where spilling down her cheeks. She didn't
notice Angel standing in the shadows watching her.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
When Buffy was safely out of sight Cordelia
smacked Angel, hard.
"What the hell did you do that for?" He demanded
rubbing his arm.
"You couldn't just talk to her?"
"I uh I…" He looked at Cordelia who was standing,
arms crossed, waiting for his answer. "I wanted to but I just couldn't."
Cordelia sighed and dropped her arms from her
chest only to place them on Angel's.
"You know that I haven't exactly been on the
Buffy/Angel cheering squad and I've never been a fan of Buffy's but you could
have at least talked to her. She looked so crushed."
"I know, just another thing I've done to hurt
her." His voice cracked.
"But you could change that. You could make her
happy now Angel. You certainly both deserve it."
Angel had wanted to talk to Buffy more than
Cordelia could ever comprehend but he was afraid of her reaction. He didn't
know how Buffy would handle all the things that had happened to him since they
last spoke; after all it had been almost a decade since they had spoken last.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Buffy made it back to the house she was staying
in while she was here in Santa Monica. She burst in through the front door and
flew up the stairs to her room. She then collapsed onto the bed and let go of
the tidal wave of grief that washed over her.
It was the first time she could remember being
able to completely let go. More specifically it was the first time she let
herself be that vulnerable since her seventeenth birthday.
Willow, who had come along for a mini vacation,
came home a few hours later only to find a severely distraught Buffy still
convulsively sobbing.
"Buffy oh my god, what happened?"
Buffy couldn't answer she was still overcome with
her emotions. It was another two hours before Buffy had gotten it together
enough to let her best friend know what had happened.
"You say you saw Angel, in the sunlight? Are you
sure you didn't see someone who looked like him Buffy because vampires don't
just…"
"I'm not stupid Will and I know Angel." If I
were blind I'd find you. "He was there and he was with Cordelia."
"Well then we should try to find them so we can…"
"No."
"Buffy don't you want to find out?"
"No, Angel made it perfectly clear how he feels."
"I don't understand, you said he didn't speak to
you."
"He wasn't there when I woke up. That said it
all." You say it best when you say nothing at all.
"Buffy I'm sure it was just nerves or shock. It has been a
few years since you've seen one another after all."
"I don't care. As of this moment I'm done with
Angel."
Buffy walked out of the room and Willow followed
her. Willow knew Buffy was hurting but she couldn't really mean that she never
wanted to see Angel again.
"Buffy? If Angel is human then there really is
nothing stopping you now. Do you really want to give up this chance?"
"Why not Will, he has walked away from me plenty
of times I don't see why I should crawl to him and give him the opportunity to
do it again. I figure it's my turn to walk away from him."
Buffy went into the bathroom and washed her face
and then she grabbed her bag and headed downstairs.
"Where are you going Buffy?" Willow was worried.
"I'm going to go out and start living my normal
life." Willow couldn't help but notice the sarcastic edge to Buffy's voice
when she said the word normal. Then Buffy was gone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Across town Cordelia was on the phone to
Sunnydale while Angel had locked himself into his room. She had tried Giles and
when she got no answer she tried Willow. When she again got no answer she took
a deep breath before calling Xander.
She had really hoped she wouldn't have to talk to
him.
First ring.
It had been a long time but some things still hurt.
Second ring
She didn't know what she was going to say
Third ring
Maybe he wasn't home and she wouldn't have to do
this after all…
"Hello?"
Damn. "Xander?"
"Yeah?"
"It's Cordy."
"Cordelia?"
"Yea uh I'm looking for Buffy. You wouldn't happen
to know where she is?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Shortly after Buffy had gone out there was a
knock at the door. Willow opened the door and was shocked to find Cordelia
Chase and a very tanned Angel standing on the front step.
"Hi Willow, can we uh talk?"
"Yes, yes of course. Please come in."
Cordelia and Angel stepped into the house past
Willow who pointed them towards the living room. They sat down on the couch and
it was a moment before anyone said anything.
"Uh is Buffy here?"
"No uh she… she went out again."
"Well then I guess we should tell you what's
going on"
Angel and Cordelia explained the how, when, where
and why Angel was human again.
When the shock had passed the threesome talked
about what else had been going on although Willow didn't confess about Buffy's
retirement just yet.
Willow got up and went to sit out on the front
step. She'd had a lot of information in the last few hours and she was trying
to figure out how to talk to Buffy about this. She felt someone sit down next
to her. She sighed deeply before speaking to him.
"She's hurt Angel."
"I know." He replied quietly.
Willow turned to face him now.
"Do you? I mean she's really, really hurt. She
cried for at least two hours and that's just when I was here so I'm sure she'd
been at it longer than that."
Angel hung his head. He wished he were still a
vampire because then he could stake himself.
"I never wanted to hurt her Wil-low. I-I l-lov-ve
he-r."
Angel was very near tears and it pulled at
Willow's heart. She wrapped her arms around him and Angel lost the last
vestiges of control over his emotions he had and clung to her as he wept for
what he had lost.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Buffy driven around down town Santa Monica for
hours trying to find some way to get the events of that afternoon out of her
head but to no avail. She then stopped at a bar. She thought if she couldn't
drive the thought of Angel out of her mind then she would drown him out.
It took her a fair amount of alcohol to get drunk
too. Damn Slayer constitution. She had stayed until bar closing and then tried
to stumble home. She had drunk enough liquor that night to make Spike proud but
still Angel danced in her thoughts. Angel in the blinding sunlight. She
stumbled as she tried to walk and before she could fall she felt hands on her arms
steadying her.
"Are you okay?"
"Fine just fine." She wasn't quite slurring her
words but she was close.
"Can I walk you home?"
"Why would you want to do that?"
"Because a tiny thing like you could find
yourself in a lot of trouble walking home at this hour. You never know what
you'll run into at night. It's not safe."
Buffy couldn't help but laugh. In fact she
laughed so hard she hit the ground, tears pouring out of her eyes. The guy
looked over at her and smiled.
"You want to tell me what's so funny."
"Sorry but you think I might get hurt. That's so
cute and normal."
The guy extended his hand and helped Buffy up and
they began to walk back towards Buffy's house.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Willow was still comforting Angel when Buffy
stumbled up the street. Feeling Angel's presence made Buffy physically double
over and it was all she could do to not lose the complete contents of her
stomach. Once she was sure she wasn't going to puke she stood straight again
and continued towards the house her male companion still hanging on her arm.
When they were in front of the house Buffy, still
not noticing Angel or Willow, went about thanking her escort. She wrapped her
arms around his neck and she proceeded to try and kiss him. The guy probably
would have taken advantage of it except for Angel's deadly glare.
Buffy was still oblivious to Angel being there.
She heard someone growling and she shivered.
"Are you growling? That is so sexy."
Buffy kept trying to maul the poor guy only
increasing Angel's jealous rage. Buffy was getting frustrated with her escort's
sudden lack of interest.
"God what is the problem here? You would almost
think that my ex-boyfriend was standing behind me ready to take your head of or
something."
The guy turned her around and Buffy finally got it.
"Ah well that it explains it then. My
ex-boyfriend is standing behind me ready to take your head off."
"Buffy?" It was all Angel could get out he was so
angry. Although he really didn't have a right to be.
"Angel what do you want?"
"We need to talk."
"Oh now he wants to talk." Buffy turned back to
her male companion. "Do you know that earlier today this son-of-a-bitch sees me
for the first time in …how many years is it Angel baby?"
She got no response from the enraged former
vampire.
"Some help you are. Where was I? Oh yeah, he sees
me for the first time in like a decade and the fucker let's me pass out cold
and leaves me there. Just leaves me there on the street but now…now he rushes
in like the Calvary. Now he wants to talk to me."
Buffy waited a moment before looking exasperated.
"Well talk already."
"Maybe your friend should go home."
Buffy blushed as she had forgotten he was
standing there.
Buffy turned to him.
"Oh my god I'm so sorry. Look I'm going to be in
town for a while so why don't you give me you number and we'll try this again
another night uh…uh…did you tell me your name?"
The fact that Buffy didn't even know the name of
this guy she was draped all over was just too much for him.
"You don't even know his name, god Buffy." Angel
barked.
"Angel why don't you just say what you came to
say and then go."
Angel walked down the steps towards Buffy. The
guy now terrified backed up. In fact he muttered some quick goodbye and then
all but bolted down the street. Buffy however stood her ground.
"I'm not doing this Buffy, not tonight."
"Why not?"
"You're drunk Buffy."
"I was drunk. You've managed to sober me up some.
So spill it."
"No, goodnight Buffy. We'll talk tomorrow."
Angel started to walk away.
Buffy grabbed ahold of Angel's arm and spun him round
to face her.
"No, NO. You don't get to do this to me again."
"Sleep it off Buffy."
"Son of a bitch." Buffy muttered and then she
hauled off and punched him.
Please review. I crave the attention.
