"Elizabeth, just calm down, please let me explain!"
"Calm down? Mark, I will not calm down! I just took time from my day to come visit my fiancee and when I arrive, what do I see? You launching Susan Lewis in the lounge! What's wrong with you? Do you think that just because I'm on maternity leave I'm not going to come visit you? I'm carrying your child here! Have some bloody common sense! I'd storm out of here right now if I could! Now if you'll excuse me, you're standing in front of the bathroom door, and I am NOT afraid to knock you down!"
She pushed past him and he stepped quickly out of the way, too shocked to speak. After several attempts, he thought of something to say. He could hear her in the bathroom, but she was only in there to cry. He knocked on the door lightly. "Elizabeth, it's not what you think, honestly. Can I talk to you? Let me explain, please. I'd never do anything to hurt you, and I just want to explain."
Sniffling, she opened the door and looked at him, tears still falling. "Mark, what is there to explain?"
"That was Susan Lewis, Elizabeth. I mean, Susan. We had our chance and neither of us took it. She and I hadn't had time to talk, so I didn't get to tell her about you. And when she kissed me, I told her. I know it must have hurt you to see that, and I'm sorry you had to go away thinking what you did. But I love you Elizabeth. I hope you trust me enough to believe me."
"Of course I do, Mark, it was just...awful. But I know you would never...I'm just a bit emotional."
"I know that. But Elizabeth...There is something I need to tell you, and I'd like you to sit down."
"Mark, what's wrong?" His serious tone and pained face worried her.
"I had a headache today, and Susan insisted I get a CT. I'd just told her about the cancer. I thought I was wasting a lot of money, but she begged me. And because she was so worried, I went. And..."
Elizabeth clasped a hand over her mouth. "Mark." The single word rang out in the house, echoing off the walls, the British accent growing softer and farther away. The helpless utterance spoke volumes.
"I went to the doctor...and there's a very low chance...of survival with treatment. I don't think I can do it all again, Elizabeth."
"I understand." She spoke softly, her voice distant, still trying to process the thought that the man she loved was dying. Her eyes filled with tears and she unsuccessfully tried to blink them back. She stood and hugged Mark, knowing she wouldn't have too much time to do it in the future. To never feel his arms around her again...it was a scary thought.
"It's going to be OK, Elizabeth. I know it doesn't seem like it, but it will all end up OK. I don't want you to worry. I want to make the most of my time with you." It was the wrong thing to say. Elizabeth began crying much harder, her whole body shaking with sobs. He loved her, and he wanted desperately to comfort her, but he was the one who needed a shoulder to cry on. And he knew where he could find it, too. *Stop it, Mark! You can't run to Susan every time you have a problem anymore. You need to talk to Elizabeth* he reminded himself. But when she was crying and offering no support, it was hard to listen to himself.
"Mark, how will I ever live without you? You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"Elizabeth, I know...I know. Now, why don't we get some dinner. A trauma came in almost right after lunch, and I spent the entire afternoon running around the ER. I'm starved."
"OK Mark." She tried to wipe away the tears and wash off her tear streaked face. Mark put his arm around her gently and led her to the door, locking it behind them. She wanted to support him and comfort him, but the thought of losing him was too painful.
They didn't speak in the car on the way to dinner. Elizabeth knew that if she tried, she'd just start crying again, and Mark had nothing to say. He needed some support, he needed to talk. He decided to find Carter in the morning. Carter had been through a lot. He could talk to Mark and help him out. Mark knew who he really needed to talk to, but he wouldn't let himself think that. He couldn't, because it would be too easy just to slip back into old times. And everything had changed. It wasn't all so simple anymore.
*****
Susan Lewis sat in her hotel room, staring blankly out the window. Suzie lay on the small rollaway cot, breathing contentedly with the covers twisted around her tiny body. Susan broke out of her trance and shook her head, as if trying to clear her thoughts. Mark was dying. Soon. Glancing at Suzie, Susan wiped off her tear-streaked face and picked up the phone.
"Hello, I need to book a flight from O'Hare to Sky Harbor International. 2, one child, six years old. And one round trip adult. Tonight, if possible. Perfect."