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Late Night Girl Talk
by katanashi
Author's Note: I usually don't define my characters-- I like to let the story do that for me-- but I felt it would be better to define them this time.
Dana: worship leader, headstrong, pretty, sharp-tongued
Penny: blond, glasses, almost too thin, quiet
April: outgoing, cheerful, likes attention
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It was the last night at summer retreat. Like they would grab any other last chances, the majority of the retreat goers stayed up later than usual. Outside were three young men, talking, laughing, and rapidly consuming the super-bag of Doritos they had brought out with them, their lean figures dully illuminated from the faint light of a nearby street lamp. Two college students continued their game of cards near the doorway so they could catch the cool summer breeze, discussing their viewpoints on certain parts of life. An older man and a teen girl sat in the corner table, with the girl talking in distressed tones and the older man listening sympathetically.
Upstairs, three girls who were rooming together were getting ready for the night, except one of them was being disagreeable and was obviously bothered by something. The other two tried their best to dig whatever was bothering their friend out.
"I hate guys," Dana complained. She flipped her long, reddish hair to the side and continued. "They have a one track mind. They like one type of girl. And on top of that, they can't even see past their noses!"
"What do you mean by that?" April asked, surprised. Dana could be touchy and irritable, but she usually didn't come straight out in a mean way. And that last comment, if anything, was mean.
"I just said why," Dana grumbled. "They're stupid, they're idiotic, and they're so shallow you can't even pass them for a baby pool."
Penny pushed her glasses up. "Dana, I'm afraid I don't follow. What's wrong?"
"Guys, guys, guys!"
"Huh?" April was bewildered. "Well, I mean, guys are always going to be a problem, but--"
"Guys EQUAL problems," Dana cut in. She scowled and folded her arms across her chest. "I hate guys. They're idiots."
"Surely not all of them are," Penny said reasonably.
"Of course they are."
"Then you're calling Darren an idiot, and I don't like that," April said mildly, but with a hint of steel in her voice. Darren was April's close friend; they had known each other for years. Dana might be temperamental and not mean half of what she said, but April didn't like anyone insulting Darren.
Dana rolled her eyes. "Fine. All guys except Darren."
"Well, then you went to prom this year with an idiot, namely Christopher Halloway," Penny pointed out logically. "I'm sure you wouldn't want to degrade yourself in such a way."
"Jeez, fine! All guys except Chris and Darren!"
"Then what about Sam?" Penny inquired. She knew Sam and April were good friends.
Dana looked ready to explode. "Alright! All guys except Chris, Sam, and Darren--"
"Would you just tell us why you?" April cut in, getting a bit impatient with Dana's whining. "We know you don't think all guys are idiots."
Dana gave her a cross look. "You'd be surprised."
"Give it a rest, Dana," April said with a sigh. "What's bothering you so much?"
"Nothing."
April rolled her eyes. "Whatever."
With an aggrieved sigh, Dana gave in. "Guess who all the guys like now?" She didn't bother to wait for an answer. "She's tall, blond, gorgeous, great smile, nice body, athletic, smart, sweet, understanding--"
"I get the picture." Penny looked amused. "You're jealous of Liz."
Dana flushed. "I'm not jealous," she insisted. "It just annoys me."
"I'm sure," April said. "That's why you've been moody so much lately."
"Was I really that obvious?" Dana asked, genuinely surprised.
April rolled her eyes. "Dana, you're as transparent as a fish tank. You were biting everyone's heads off this whole week, you haven't even tried to talk to any of the guys, and even your worship's lacking!"
"It has not," Dana snapped back. Her eyes narrowed to slits.
Penny sighed. "Let's not get off track here, girls, shall we?" She tapped her fingers against the dresser as she looked at her two companions meaningfully. Both April and Dana at least had the good grace to blush.
"Alright, so I don't hate all guys," Dana said with a sigh, flopping down on her back on the bed.
April jumped down from her perch on the bunk and sat down next to her. "I didn't think you did," she said with a laugh.
"Then why are you so mean to me?" Dana asked.
"I just get impatient, that's all," April confessed. "I mean, no offense, Dana, but your complaining can really grate at my nerves."
"And I thought you were my friend," Dana complained, sitting up with a doleful look on her face.
"I am your friend, silly!" April hugged Dana so hard, the other girl gagged and threatened to choke.
"If you think Liz is perfect, you'd better think again," Penny interjected calmly, once again bringing them back to the present matter at hand. "She's not perfect-- no human is perfect. Only God is."
"But from the guy viewpoint, she might as well be," Dana muttered.
"How so?" Penny looked intrigued despite herself.
"Where else are you going to run into a girl like that? I mean, what does that girl not have? She's got the looks, the money, the car, the everything! And I have, like, none of that?"
"Well, she does have a cool car," April conceded. "But that's just the money part of it, Dana. It's not like she bought it herself. And guys won't hold against you that you weren't born rich."
"Yeah, but it sure won't help me, either," Dana pointed out. A petulant scowl appeared on her face. "I feel so freakin ugly, stupid, clumsy, idiotic, and so just, like--not up there!"
"What, you're not pretty?" Penny asked practically. "Dana, a lot of people think you're pretty. A lot of people would kill-- well, I mean, be really happy-- to have your looks."
"Compared to Liz? I look like I walked out of a dog wash!"
"And you say you're not athletic compared to her? Honestly, Dana! You're on the cross-country team, you won the league finals in the 400meter dash, and you're the star forward on the soccer team! How much more athletic do you want to get?"
"Liz is," Dana insisted stubbornly.
April rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. She's, what, the volleyball team captain and she does ice-skating in the winter. That's hardly comparable, let alone equivalent. You're a lot more into sports than she is, so get over it."
"And she's always nicer to people--"
"And who's fault is that?" April asked her flatly. "She doesn't exactly have remote control access over your brain functions, silly. If she's nice to people, you can be too. I've seen you act sweet and I know you're a nice person inside. So what if Liz is nice too? You two are just different."
"Yeah, but all the guys like her! All of them! Chris does, Sam does, Henri does, Frank does…"
"That's four guys. I don't think four guys constitute our whole fellowship."
"You know what I mean!"
April groaned. "Yes I do, and I think you're completely over-reacting."
"I am not!"
Penny broke in. "Dana, different people like different people at different times, that's all. That's just the way guys are right now. Forgive me for saying so, but Liz is easier to…manipulate than you are. She's more agreeable, more willing to do things that both her and the guy she's with like to do. But you, on the other hand, you're almost never willing to compromise. Now, I think Liz may get into trouble later on, but in truth, you're better off in the long run."
"What, Liz has no head on her shoulders or something?" Dana rolled her eyes.
"Not really," Penny said patiently. "It's just she isn't as independent, and certainly not fiercely independent like you or April. And the guys will like that-- much later on in their life. Right now, they like a girl who has the same ideas as they do, but hopefully they'll realize later on that a girl with a mind of her own is much better than a mindless puppet. Not that Liz is one," she added hastily.
April rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that's the guys, alright. I know some of the guys are obsessed with what's-her-name-- Drew Berrymore? I mean, they don't even know the girl, and they're following her around, drooling!" She shook her head.
"You do that too," Dana declared. "Remember when we saw The Patriot? You were practically kissing the screen whenever Heath Leger came on."
"I was not!" April turned scarlet with embarassment.
"Yes you were," Dana recounted smugly. "You kept on saying afterwards, 'Heath Leger is soooo hot, Heath Leger is soooo hot'…."
Penny pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose again. "What about you?"
"Yeah, me too," Dana admitted freely. "Freddie Prinze Jr.'s just way too hot for words. But at least I don't deny it like April."
"Come to think about it, aren't we guilty of the same thing?" Penny asked practically. "Expecting and looking for perfect guys when we know they don't exist? What kind of guys do you two want to marry, really? If I had a machine that spit out the perfect man exactly as you specified him, who or what would he be like?"
April got starry eyed. "Blond, curly hair, gorgeous eyes, nice body, great smile--"
Dana elbowed her. "Will you cut it out? Heath Leger is not the perfect guy." She settled down thoughtfully. "Well, if I could pick the perfect guy…he'd be tall, but not too tall. I want him to be smart, but I don't want him to be a nerd, either. He needs to have interests in sports, be willing to play with me, and not be too serious a competitor. I want him to be considerate of my interests, be understanding that I make mistakes, and be willing to stand up to me if he thinks I'm wrong. He has to be a man of God-- that's an ultimatum, it's a must! He has to be willing to admit his mistakes, get over them-- I don't want a sulker-- and he absolutely must be willing to take care of the baby."
April choked. "B-baby?!"
"I don't want to be the only one who knows how to change a diaper," Dana explained. "I mean, if I'm away on a trip…"
Penny began to laugh. "And the man will be completely clueless and have to call his mother for help!"
"Call his mother!" Dana exclaimed, as she and April began to laugh too.
"I can just imagine what my mom would say if my brother called home for help on how to feed a baby--" April gasped out.
"Are you kidding me? My mom would make my brother come to her house so she could show him exactly how to do it! Can you imagine how embarassed he'd be? Oh, I'd never let him live it down!" Dana wiped her eyes, still suppressing giggles.
"I never imagined this scenario to be this amusing," Penny commented blandly. "But what about you, April? What would you look for?"
April absently scratched her arm. "Well, other than the man of God thing, I guess personality, definetely a fun personality. He's fun, always smiling, can make jokes out of things that don't seem like jokes, cheers me up, and likes to DDR."
"Well, that's an interesting requirement," Dana remarked with a smirk. "Dance Dance Revolution a must? You'd better look for a break dancer, girl."
"Oh, I am!" April flashed Dana a smug grin. "I want a guy that knows how to part-ay!" She demonstrated a few dance moves with her upper body at the same time. Dana laughed.
"See, look how different you two are," Penny said. "And I bet the guys have different views too."
"Yeah, that's true," Dana admitted.
"And I hate to say it, but isn't there a so-called 'perfect' guy in our fellowship too? That all the girls seem to like or at least wouldn't mind going to a dance with him?" Penny eyed April meaningfully, who blushed.
"Darren is not perfect," she huffed out, but the blush remained.
"He might as well be," Dana said, not unaware that she was using the same words as she'd used earlier, but describing Liz. "Come on, April. You have to admit he's cute-- check that, really cute-- smart, athletic, a perfect gentleman, nice body--"
"And how would you know that?!" April demanded indignantly.
Dana grinned impishly. "Oh, of course I know. I've just been oogling his body at every chance, using binoculars to spy on his room, dropping by his house whenever I can--" April gave an yelp before pillowing Dana repeatedly in the face.
"I'm joking!" the victim gasped, breathless from both the pillow and her laughter.
"You'd better," April threatened. "Or I'll lock you in your room forever!"
"Sure sure," Dana said amicably.
"I hope you realize that the guys are just human," Penny told both of them. "I mean, honestly, they're just teenage guys who are controlled by hormones. I swear, hormones rule their every move."
"Probably," Dana agreed. "I haven't gotten that far in my bio class."
"Yes we have," Penny returned mildly. "You just haven't read the book."
Dana chose to ignore that fact-- with difficulty. "But anyway, what should I do, then?"
"Be yourself," April suggested. She slung a friendly arm around Dana's shoulders. "I mean, if he doesn't like you for you, who cares? Then he's not the right guy for you, period. You'll meet somebody, Dana. Trust me on this one, and trust God too."
Dana looked at April, then Penny, before a smile broke out on her face. "Alright, then. I will."
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Author Notes: I guess this is kind of a reach-out to my bros, and tell them how sometimes us girls feel. It's based on my experiences and my sisters' experiences, so I'm not writing this out of out of subjective observation or speculation.
If you have things you'd like me to add, or things you want me to change, or if you think I should just take it off completely, then please feel free to tell me, whether you actually know me or not, because I think criticism always makes me a better writer ^^.
I think I'd like to add a second part to this-- putting the guy view of this "perfection" sort of thing, except I have no idea how guys think (except I know they like food and Starcraft). What do you think I should do? If you have ideas or input, please email me!
May The Lord be with you all!
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