CHAPTER FIVE
Sam knew that Daniel was taking them to the only place where they could remember and grieve for Jack properly, she smiled slightly as they drew up at the front of an all too familiar drive. Daniel pulled out his spare key and opened the door to Jack's home, they all stumbled through to the living room and collapsed onto the ground.
" So do you think that the test Hanuk was talking about really works?"
Teal'c replied," I hope so Daniel Jackson, I hope so."
Sam left the guys in the living room before she stumbled up the stairs and hugged herself as she stood in the doorway of Jack's bedroom. A tear slid down her face as she took in the unmade bed and the various garments decorating his room, it was obvious Jack was planning on coming back and cleaning this mess up later. She sat down on the bed and cried into her hands, if only she had told him how she felt instead of worrying about regulations.
She laid down on the bed curling into a ball and sinking into the soft feel of the sheets and savouring the smell of him already missing him desperately. She clutched at the sheets as if she could somehow hold onto him but soon she had closed her eyes and drifted off to a long needed sleep.
A FEW HOURS LATER...
Sam woke to the sensation of having her hair stroked and she mumbled," Jack?" She whimpered as she said that name but still the person had not stopped stroking her hair and she opened her eyes slowly and saw the face of her father looking down at her.
" Hey honey George contacted us and thought you guys might need us."
Sam looked to the doorway and saw Martouf standing there looking very anxious and she said," I'm okay Martouf, go help Daniel and Teal'c! They need someone to talk to."
Martouf disappeared leaving Sam with her dad, she hugged her dad tightly mumbling," I can't believe it, he's gone dad!"
Jacob sighed and stroked Sam's hair hating to see his baby girl this way, usually she was so strong but never a quivering mess which she was now. He kissed her hair and sighed," I'm sorry baby, Jack was a good man and he will be missed."
Sam shuddered as another wave of tears took over and she stuttered," Oh god..I just.just wished I had told him!"
Jacob smiled slightly knowing exactly what she was talking about, it was obvious to anyone that Sam loved Jack and that he loved her but those stupid regulations were keeping them apart. He kissed her forehead before saying," I'm sure Jack knew honey and I know he felt the same way!"
Martouf did not know what to say to Daniel or Teal'c as they sat there saying nothing, Teal'c was staring into space while Daniel was flicking through a photo album and trying not to cry. Daniel sighed as he placed his fingers against a photo of Jack grinning as he held Teal'c's head in a headlock and Sam was standing to one side rolling her eyes. God he hoped that the test was what Hanuk had said it was and that Jack returned to them.
A FEW DAYS LATER...
Sam sat staring into her coffee mug thinking about how long Jack had been missing and she was losing hope of ever seeing him again and ever since that day it felt like her heart was missing something and she could not throw herself into her work no matter how hard she tried. She would start work and then a thought of what Jack would say or do if he saw her would spring into her mind and that was it, she turned into a quivering mess.
Daniel wasn't much better, she hadn't seen or heard from him for the last couple of days. She knew he was holed up at home dealing with his own grief in his own way but she wished he was here with her so they could chat and maybe help one another.
Teal'c on the other hand was around but he had changed too, he no longer tried to converse with anyone and spent many hours on his own. Janet tried her best to put on a brave front but Sam could see the pain in her eyes and knew she felt responsible for Jack's death and even after being told it was not her fault Sam could tell she still blamed herself. Sam felt sorry for the General as he could not grieve properly as he had the base to think of and he had a lot of duties to tend to.
" Samantha are you okay?"
Sam turned to see Martouf standing in the doorway before she replied," Yes I'm fine Martouf."
Martouf pressed on," Samantha I am here if you need me and Lantash offers his condolences as well."
Sam nodded smiling slightly as she remembered Jack's automatic distaste to the Tok'ra and especially Martouf and even though she did feel connected to Martouf courtesy of Jolinar she was secretly happy that Jack was disturbed by the relationship, it meant he cared. She turned to Martouf and said," I thank you Martouf but I will be fine and I think it is time for you to return to your world."
Martouf nodded before leaving Sam to her memories.
ELSEWHERE...
Daniel sunk to the ground as memories threatened to overwhelm him, he picked up a photo thrown to the ground by him in a fit of fury and despair. He brushed away the stands of glass and smiled as Jack looked back at him smiling and he wiped at the tears gathering in his eyes. He muttered," You better past that test Jack or I swear when I die I'll be coming for you!" He grabbed his car keys and headed to the one place he knew he could go and share his grief.
Teal'c observed as he walked through the corridors of the SGC how many of the people would stop talking when he approached and gave him sympathetic looks. He shrugged and went to find Sam and Daniel because he felt an overwhelming need to talk.
He found Sam hunched over a spread of papers and he asked cautiously," Samantha Carter may I have a word with you?"
Sam turned on her seat and nodded," What's up Teal'c?"
Teal'c replied," I feel very lost Samantha and I feel a loneliness which I have not felt for a very long time!"
Sam smiled slightly," Yeah me too Teal'c, I never realised till Jack was gone how much I relied on him and how he held this team together! I miss him as well."
Teal'c nodded but looked to the door as Daniel appeared and said quietly," I miss him too, lord knows I would never have thought I would miss his jokes and sarcastic comments!"
The remaining team members of SG1 sat together sharing memories and joking about their times with Jack and the General smiled as he looked in on them, glad they were talking about it together. He still remembered the way Sam had been when Janet had declared Jack dead and he decided if Jack came back he was going to have a word with the president about a certain fraternising rule.
END OF CHAPTER FIVE...
Sam knew that Daniel was taking them to the only place where they could remember and grieve for Jack properly, she smiled slightly as they drew up at the front of an all too familiar drive. Daniel pulled out his spare key and opened the door to Jack's home, they all stumbled through to the living room and collapsed onto the ground.
" So do you think that the test Hanuk was talking about really works?"
Teal'c replied," I hope so Daniel Jackson, I hope so."
Sam left the guys in the living room before she stumbled up the stairs and hugged herself as she stood in the doorway of Jack's bedroom. A tear slid down her face as she took in the unmade bed and the various garments decorating his room, it was obvious Jack was planning on coming back and cleaning this mess up later. She sat down on the bed and cried into her hands, if only she had told him how she felt instead of worrying about regulations.
She laid down on the bed curling into a ball and sinking into the soft feel of the sheets and savouring the smell of him already missing him desperately. She clutched at the sheets as if she could somehow hold onto him but soon she had closed her eyes and drifted off to a long needed sleep.
A FEW HOURS LATER...
Sam woke to the sensation of having her hair stroked and she mumbled," Jack?" She whimpered as she said that name but still the person had not stopped stroking her hair and she opened her eyes slowly and saw the face of her father looking down at her.
" Hey honey George contacted us and thought you guys might need us."
Sam looked to the doorway and saw Martouf standing there looking very anxious and she said," I'm okay Martouf, go help Daniel and Teal'c! They need someone to talk to."
Martouf disappeared leaving Sam with her dad, she hugged her dad tightly mumbling," I can't believe it, he's gone dad!"
Jacob sighed and stroked Sam's hair hating to see his baby girl this way, usually she was so strong but never a quivering mess which she was now. He kissed her hair and sighed," I'm sorry baby, Jack was a good man and he will be missed."
Sam shuddered as another wave of tears took over and she stuttered," Oh god..I just.just wished I had told him!"
Jacob smiled slightly knowing exactly what she was talking about, it was obvious to anyone that Sam loved Jack and that he loved her but those stupid regulations were keeping them apart. He kissed her forehead before saying," I'm sure Jack knew honey and I know he felt the same way!"
Martouf did not know what to say to Daniel or Teal'c as they sat there saying nothing, Teal'c was staring into space while Daniel was flicking through a photo album and trying not to cry. Daniel sighed as he placed his fingers against a photo of Jack grinning as he held Teal'c's head in a headlock and Sam was standing to one side rolling her eyes. God he hoped that the test was what Hanuk had said it was and that Jack returned to them.
A FEW DAYS LATER...
Sam sat staring into her coffee mug thinking about how long Jack had been missing and she was losing hope of ever seeing him again and ever since that day it felt like her heart was missing something and she could not throw herself into her work no matter how hard she tried. She would start work and then a thought of what Jack would say or do if he saw her would spring into her mind and that was it, she turned into a quivering mess.
Daniel wasn't much better, she hadn't seen or heard from him for the last couple of days. She knew he was holed up at home dealing with his own grief in his own way but she wished he was here with her so they could chat and maybe help one another.
Teal'c on the other hand was around but he had changed too, he no longer tried to converse with anyone and spent many hours on his own. Janet tried her best to put on a brave front but Sam could see the pain in her eyes and knew she felt responsible for Jack's death and even after being told it was not her fault Sam could tell she still blamed herself. Sam felt sorry for the General as he could not grieve properly as he had the base to think of and he had a lot of duties to tend to.
" Samantha are you okay?"
Sam turned to see Martouf standing in the doorway before she replied," Yes I'm fine Martouf."
Martouf pressed on," Samantha I am here if you need me and Lantash offers his condolences as well."
Sam nodded smiling slightly as she remembered Jack's automatic distaste to the Tok'ra and especially Martouf and even though she did feel connected to Martouf courtesy of Jolinar she was secretly happy that Jack was disturbed by the relationship, it meant he cared. She turned to Martouf and said," I thank you Martouf but I will be fine and I think it is time for you to return to your world."
Martouf nodded before leaving Sam to her memories.
ELSEWHERE...
Daniel sunk to the ground as memories threatened to overwhelm him, he picked up a photo thrown to the ground by him in a fit of fury and despair. He brushed away the stands of glass and smiled as Jack looked back at him smiling and he wiped at the tears gathering in his eyes. He muttered," You better past that test Jack or I swear when I die I'll be coming for you!" He grabbed his car keys and headed to the one place he knew he could go and share his grief.
Teal'c observed as he walked through the corridors of the SGC how many of the people would stop talking when he approached and gave him sympathetic looks. He shrugged and went to find Sam and Daniel because he felt an overwhelming need to talk.
He found Sam hunched over a spread of papers and he asked cautiously," Samantha Carter may I have a word with you?"
Sam turned on her seat and nodded," What's up Teal'c?"
Teal'c replied," I feel very lost Samantha and I feel a loneliness which I have not felt for a very long time!"
Sam smiled slightly," Yeah me too Teal'c, I never realised till Jack was gone how much I relied on him and how he held this team together! I miss him as well."
Teal'c nodded but looked to the door as Daniel appeared and said quietly," I miss him too, lord knows I would never have thought I would miss his jokes and sarcastic comments!"
The remaining team members of SG1 sat together sharing memories and joking about their times with Jack and the General smiled as he looked in on them, glad they were talking about it together. He still remembered the way Sam had been when Janet had declared Jack dead and he decided if Jack came back he was going to have a word with the president about a certain fraternising rule.
END OF CHAPTER FIVE...