She sat at the table in her classroom typing furiously on the computer in
front of her. She looked up from the blue screen every once and a while to
scowl at the screen.
She looks up from the computer puzzled.
Jenny- Lights… I need lights…
She walks over to the wall and flips the light switch
Angel- Ahh…. Jenny Darling… Fancy meeting you here
Nice shirt… It makes you look just like that chick from the Prince video…
Her head jerks around and she gasps in horror at the figure seated in the
back of the room. She breathes shallow and has terror etched in her eyes.
Jenny- Angel?… How'd you get in here?
De Ja Vu all over again. I swear we've done this before.
She takes a moment to take in this tall, dark figure
Hmm… he's pretty cute. I mean, Giles is my sexy fuddy duddy but Angel's still
QUITE the hottie. Even if he IS a homicidal lunatic who wants to kill his ex
lover and all of her friends. Especially with that terrific bod…. And those
pants… those tight leather pants… oh wow…I wonder…
[Sorry Jenny. Not that kinda fic.]
Damn
She opens her mouth to continue but slams her mouth shut deep in thought.
Jenny- Whoa… I SO didn't just say that out loud. How'd you know what I was
thinking?
[**Shrugs innocently**]
Jenny- That's SO not fair! **I** don't know what **YOU'RE** thinking! Is What
I'm thinking going into this fic? That's so embarrassing! Someone should have
warned me…
Angel- Why? What was she thinking about?
Angel perks up
Jenny- You stay out of this
She turns a bright shade of pink
Angel- You were thinking naughty thoughts about me, weren't you?
Jenny- NO!
Angel- YES!!! Yes you were! I can tell by the look on your face!
He busts out laughing
Jenny- OH MY GOD! You are such a self-centered, conceited, imbecilic bastar-
Angel- yeah… and you want me
Jenny- I do NOT want you
Angel- Just admit it
Jenny- I-I… I do NOT! TELL HIM! TELL HIM THAT I DON'T WANT HIM! TELL HIM!
[You're right. She wants you]
Jenny- SEE!
She pokes a finger into his chest
Jenny- it's like I said… I- WHAT?!?!
Angel- Giles is not going to be pleased with you…
Jenny- that does it you jerk. Fic or no fic your ass is mine!
Angel gives a seductive half-smile
Angel- Sure baby, anything you want
She pulls a stake from under her shirt
His smile vanishes
Angel- uh… that's not fair
She advances on his with crazy in her eyes
[Jenny, stop. You're getting ahead of yourself]
Angel- Y-Yes, listen to her…
Jenny- NO! I'm done listening to everyone, now I'm gonna have some fun!
She lunges at him
He jumps on her desk to evade her
Chase ensues
[OH good GRIEF!]
Desks and papers fly in the air as Angel desperately tries to escape
Angel- What are you doing? STOP HER!
He lets out a high pitched shriek
Jenny- I can't BELIEVE you killed me you asshole! And after I was trying to
HELP your sorry ass. SCREW YOU! You're going down!
[That's it. Forget both of you. I'm just gonna go back and re-write my
Xander/Willow Fic. Maybe I'll give them lots of smoochies. It'll be a
Smoochiefic. You two just aren't worth the aggravation!]
They both skid to an abrupt halt.
Jenny- No! Wait a minute.
She conceals the stake
Jenny- Sorry, I just got a bit carried away. I'll try this again.
Angel- Yeah, I'd like to do this once more too.
He's panting
Angel- Because you're such a good writer and-
All heads turn to the door as someone yells something from the door way
Willow- SMOOCHIEFIC????
Angel and Jenny groan in unison
Willow- Ooooh I want smoochies!!!!
Willow bounds in, her red hair streaming behind her
She stops
Willow- Jenny!
She leaps into the woman's arms
Willow- I've missed you!
Xander trails in behind her
Jenny- I've missed you too, Wills
Angel- Hey, um, is this the 'touching-tear-jerker' segment of the fic?
Jenny- Shut up Angel
She rolls her eyes
He sticks his tongue out at her
Willow pulls away, a confused look still on her face
Willow- since when do you and Angel want eachother?
Jenny turns green
Willow raises her eyebrows
Willow- Yeah, anyway. I love ya Miss Calendar, and I miss you… BUT I need
smoochies. Write the smoochiefic. I want one with Xander
Xander looks mildly embarrassed
[Uhh.. Willow…]
Cordelia- I don't THINK so
She enters with an angry look on her face
Willow looks thoughtful for a moment
Willow- How about Oz?
Oz- Not if you're only trying to get Xander jealous
Oz enters the room enters after Cordy
Cordy looks up
Cordy- Call me Cordelia
[Ok. Sorry.]
Willow- How about… Angel?
Willow smiles seductively
[Sorry Willow]
Willow- well phooey
Cordelia- ok… Xander you're my boyfriend
Everyone looks at her
Cordy- so no smoochiefic for you…
Silence
Cordy- What? I never said I didn't like smoochiefic in general, just not
Willow/Xander smoochiefic. can you blame me? I mean, he is MY boyfriend…
More Silence
Cordy- Cut it out! Will everyone please stop looking at me?
They continue
Cordy- WHAT THE HECK!??
Xander grins
Xander- Sorry. I just enjoy making disturbing eye contact
Cordy sighs
Xander shrugs
Giles Enters
He glances around the room and is about to make a speech about being at
school after hours when he spots Jenny
Giles- JENNY! How nice to… um… See you…
Jenny- RUPERT!
Jenny runs into his arms
He smiles and hugs her
Giles- A-are we alive now?
Jenny- Well… not really. I mean… Angel **DID** kills me and all. I'm just
here for a visit
Giles shoots Angel a deadly look
Angel shrugs
Giles- Well perhaps we can now find a way to properly resurrect you
Jenny shakes her head
Jenny- I don't think that's possible. I mean, unless there's some act of God…
or Joss…. I think I'm pretty much staying dead
Giles- Now, now Jenny, you should really be optimistic…
He gives her a reassuring squeeze and reaches into his briefcase
Giles- …even if we can't resurrect you, I can always…
He pulls out a flaming baseball bat
Giles- KILL THE BASTARD WHO DID THIS TO YOU!
He takes off after the vampire
Angel lets out another girly shriek and runs to the window
Jenny- Oh dead, I was hoping for a good 'Jenny and Giles get frisky' scene.
Guess not
Xander- Ha… Giles said 'Bastard'
Cordy looks at him
Cordy- I fear you
Willow kisses Oz and they fall to the ground as Angel runs past them and
Giles follows him with a flaming stick as Xander laughs and Jenny pouts
[Uhh…. Listen everyone… as much fun as this is it's getting late and…]
Ethan- RIPPER!
Giles stops chasing Angel and looks at Ethan
Giles- Oh bloody hell Ethan. How did you get in here?
Ethan- It's called a door
Giles- Don't get smart with me, Ethan, I have a laming baseball bat you know
Ethan- Oh, I didn't notice
Giles pauses, looks at the stick and then back at Ethan.
Giles- THAT DOES IT!
He chases after Giles
Ethan- Good Lord… I know where you went wrong Ripper. When you finished with
those coffee commercials you just got SO mean!
He turns on his heel and runs down the hall
Angel smiles and leans against the wall
Angel- Oh thank goodn-
Willow jumps towards Angel after breaking away from Oz
Angel lets out yet another girly scream
Willow- Angel, darling Angel. I love you even WITHOUT your soul
Angel- I love you too Willow. I'm sorry I killed your fish
Willow- No biggie. They were gummy fish anyway.
Angel- really?
Willow- yeah, my parents won't let me have a real pet
Angel- don't you have a dog?
Willow- depends on whose fic you're reading
Angel- oh…
Xander slinks up to Jenny
Xander- so Jenny… how are you?
Jenny- umm… dead. Otherwise, things are cool. And call me Ms. Calendar
Xander- did you ever get a little antsy when you were dead?
Jenny- yeah
Xander- well.. I can make that feel better…
Jenny- XANDER! Absolutely not!
Jenny pushes past him
Xander chases after Jenny as Willow kisses Angel, and Oz whose heart is
broken kisses Cordy
Giles plays with the fire on his stick
[THAT'S IT! Everyone but Angel and Jenny get out!]
Xander- B-but why?
Xander makes a puppy-dog face
[Because this is distracting, irrelevant, and makes absolutely no sense]
Xander- oh
[This isn't what I originally intended. Look guys, I'll get to everyone at
some point, you all just have to wait your turns.]
Cordy- Hey… what IS all this stuff?
Cordy is standing over Jenny's desk
Jenny- what?
Cordy- Well… there's 3 knives, 1 gun, a whip, a crossbow, two stakes, about 5
crucifixes, a staff, three vials of holy water, silver bullets, an- Hey, wait
**silver bullets**? Those aren't used for vampires, they're for-
Oz runs screaming from the room
[Sorry… my bad]
Angel- you ARE one of those crazy fic writers, aren't you?
[**shakes head**]
Willow- not to be irritating or anything but can we get to the smoochies now?
[Willow, I love you dearly but not now… PLEASE… everyone out]
Willow- I NEVER get to have any smoochies
She stamps her foot
[Willow, cut it out. I have to sleep. It's 1:54 a.m. and I don't have th- ]
Willow- Nope. I'm not leaving until I get smoochie.
[Willow, please don't do this]
Willow- Smoochies
Snyder enters the room
Snyder- What's going on here?
They all turn to see Principal Snyder
Xander- Uh-oh… Now we're in trouble
Xander hides behind Angel
Snyder- Ms. Calendar? Aren't you supposed to be dead?
Jenny- Well.. um.. yes… but you see-
Snyder- In that case, all of you are trespassing, everyone out!
Willow looks up
Willow- You think that conjuring Snyder is gonna make me leave smoochieless?
Think again.
Willow smiles defiantly and sticks out her tongue
[Then you're not leaving?]
Willow- nope
[**sigh**]
[Willow, I'm sorry, but you asked for it…]
Willow- Asked for what…?
Snyder- WILLOW DARLING!
Snyder leaps for her
Snyder- I know it's against school rules and I'm about 30 years older than
you, and that I'm a very unattractive, mean, trollish, little man, but
suddenly… I think I love you!
Willow screams at the top of her lungs and runs out of the room
Snyder follows close behind
Xander- Well, that was way Harsh
[I know, and I'll fix it… later. Everyone out.]
Cordy- I don't think so. You can't just kick us out of our own school. That's
just so rude. YOU are OUR guest!
Cordy sits down
[Cordelia, so help me God, one more word and I'll resurrect the Inca Mummy
Girl to give you a new facelift]
Cordy- ok… We're outtie
She grabs Xander's arm and leads him outside
[Finally]
Angel Yawns
Angel- I'm sleepy
Jenny- Yeah… Can we do this tomorrow? I'm not used to being alive and all.
It's tiring.
Jenny stretches
[Absolutely not. If I say yes, then we all know I'm never going to finish
this.]
Angel- oh alright
[**yawns and falls asleep on her keyboard**]
[hklsdfghjagj]
Jenny- Well that was rude
Angel- very…
Angel looks at Jenny
Angel- Wanna go get some breakfast from Denny's?
Jenny smiles
Jenny- sure
Angel and Jenny walk out of the scene
[**drools all over her keyboard**]
OK… Hope you enjoyed it. I stayed up for 2 and a half hours typing it. It's
now 2:05 a.m. HEH… see ya… ::falls asleep::