Spike stood there stunned for several minutes. *Ok. Now what?*, he thought to himself. *Just what exactly do I do now?* He briefly considered whether he'd better tell Buffy, but quickly realized that she would stake him before he'd gotten any farther than "the chip stopped working". *Ok, that answers the 'Do I tell anyone?' question.* He leaned back against the wall and lit up another cigarette. He was deep in thought and wound up crushing out the cigarette when he became aware that it had burned all the way down without him taking a single drag on it.
He could feed again, hunt again, if he'd choose. *If I choose?!* He almost laughed. *Now where the hell did that come from? I'm free of the damn chip! Of course I'll bloody well feed!* His laughter cut off before it could really begin. He knew it was more complicated than that now. For one thing, there was Buffy. Certainly she hated him now. Letting Dawn die had guaranteed that. But, he felt a great need to ease Buffy's pain, if in any way she would allow him to. Going back to his old ways was no way to get Buffy to ever forgive him for his failure to stop the ritual. He also felt that the scoobies had started to accept him, and strange as it was for him to feel this way, he truely appreciated that acceptance. He knew he couldn't expect them to forgive him right away either, but now it seemed likely that they would, probably before Buffy did.
Was he really going to give up his chance to feed freely because of a bunch of humans? He sighed. *Yeah, it looks like I am, doesn't it.* He couldn't believe he was making this choice, but… he was still free of the chip. He felt good about the fact that he was able to make a choice for himself, not forced by the damn chip. He wasn't defenseless anymore, and that was most important. Satisfied with his answer, he pulled himself back to the matter at hand and turned to head toward the magic shop.
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Giles and Xander both turned toward the door as he came in and stared at him in shock. Xander snapped out of it first. "What are you doing here?" Spike looked down at the floor. "Well, I'm here for two reasons. One, I need to know what happened. I don't remember anything after I grabbed little bit off the platform." He started to choke up as he continued, "How did she die?". Giles looked at him with a rather blank expression on his face. "Dawn is alive." Spike looked up, his turn to be shocked. He couldn't hide his relief. "How?! The world is still here. I thought that meant she had to be dead. The ritual had started. The portals had even started. How did she survive?" Giles tried unsuccessfully to keep the undeserved resentment that he felt toward the vampire out of his voice. "You removed her from where the blood needed to flow to keep the portal open. You saved her."
"I saved her?" Spike was stunned. Then he grinned, "Well, let's hear it for the Big Bad!"
Xander just sneered at him. "Oh knock it off! You had no idea that was going to happen! Got lucky."
Giles nodded and looked Spike directly in the eyes. "You could have destroyed the entire world. Just because Buffy wanted it that way didn't mean it was the right thing to do."
"I saved her."
"Yes"
"And you're angry?"
"We're glad that Dawn and the world are both intact, but you still acted irresponsibly."
"Thanks! Appreciate the compliment.", Spike shot back, "but still have my second reason for coming here. I was half starved when I woke up. Felt like I hadn't eaten in days. Just how long was I out of it?"
"A week."
"A week?! What the hell could knock me out for an entire week?"
"You got hit with energy from the portal closing." Giles stated.
Xander laughed, "Then again, so did Dawn. She wasn't knocked out at all. Guess keys are stronger than vamps".
Spike just grinned at Xander. He was used to the insulting banter from Xander, and now that Spike knew Dawn was alive, he wasn't going to let it get to him.
Spike pulled up a chair and sat down. "What are you doing?" Xander and Giles spoke at the same time. "What do you mean, what am I doing?", Spike looked at them somewhat confused. "I'm guessing it's right about time to go patrol, right? Stake us a few vamps and other assorted nasties. Save the world for another day. Right?"
Xander and Giles both stared at him. Xander was the one to speak up. "Uh, Spike, the whole Glory thing is over. We don't need you for a standard patrol." Spike responded somewhat cautiously, "Well need, no… You've been doing this long before I joined up. Thought you might want my help though". Xander looked at him incredulously. "Joined up?! Is that what you think? That you're… what… our buddy now?" Spike stammered, "Well…Yeah."
Xander couldn't look directly at Spike as he replied, "Hey, we do appreciate your help with Glory, but it doesn't change anything with us".
"It wouldn't hurt to have another person to help patrol…" Spike began, but Xander interrupted. "That's just it. You're not a person. You're a demon… a creature".
"I'm not a human. I AM a person".
Giles finally spoke up, sighing, "Spike, we'll let you know IF we need your help again. But for now, please, just go".
After the shock of being unconscious for a week, the astonishment of finding out his chip was non-functional, and the immense relief at finding out that Dawn was still alive, Spike was too overwhelmed to noticed the myriad emotions underlying both Giles' and Xander's reactions. He simply took in what they said.
Spike was stunned. He had come here expecting to face rejection, but he had thought that he'd allowed Dawn to die. He had saved her, and they were throwing him out? He remembered all the times in the past when he had helped them, only to be soundly rejected when his help had no longer been needed, but he'd truly thought things had been different this time. It had felt different. He'd felt accepted. It was one thing to be rejected for his failure, but quite another when he had been the one who'd saved Dawn's life, and by extension, the rest of the world too. Spike rose from his chair, not letting the hurt show. "Fine, I'll find myself some other entertainment for the evening". He turned and stalked out.
