Drunken Secrets?!?!?!

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Hi, I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
I know that you don't care
So I'll just sing this stupid song
While you just sit and stare
See, Slytherin was an evil git
Hufflepuff was a sped
Ravenclaw was into smart people shit
But who cares, 'cos now they're all dead.
Gryffindor, who digged weilding big ruby swords,
Made me be the person to choose
Aww, dammit, I forgot the words
I've got to stop drinking that booze... *everyone stares*
So, here I've sat for years and years
Writing song after song
So try me on, haev no fears
P.S. Professor Snape wears a thong!!!! *Everyone gawks at Prof. Snape, horrified, while Snape reddens
and shakes his head vigorously.... He can be heard muttering dark phrases such as "How the hell
did the hat know?!"..... McGonagall finally starts reading the list shakily, but halfway through the
Sorting, Snape gets up on his chair and screams "I WEAR PLAID BOXERS!", and proceeds to run
out of the Great Hall sobbing... This causes the Sorting Hat to scream "YEAH WHATEVER MR. SPANDEX!!"
after him, while being worn by "Mows, Mick" and causing the poor kid to go deaf. Dumbledore, on
request by Snape, fires the Sorting Hat and appoints Neville's gran's hat to take over the job.*

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A/N Oddness...... Review, please! As always, I own nothin, and I'm DAMN PROUD OF IT! Heh heh...
byeeeeee!!!