Gross...
~~~~~
You may not think I'm pretty
It's safe to judge by what you see
Because, I am downright disgusting
Here is my history:
I am the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
Yessir, I'm very old
I spend time in the attic
I'm beginning to mold.
Gryffindor used to wear me
Yep, he had long, oily hair
In fact, he never took me off!
I think his lice and dandruff is still there...
Once, I got blown off his head
A dog took me and tore me apart
His teeth were drooly and yellow!
His breath smelled like a fart!
Finally, he dropped me in the swamp
The filthy, flea-ridden bum
I decayed in there for several days
Floating merrily in the scum *everyone looks disgusted*
But Gryffindor, he found me there
And made me into what you see
(He wasn't good with a needle,
He bled all over me!) *people eye reddish-brown stains*
After centuries of rotting
I became disgustingly ghastly
So, come on, put me on your head!
Even though I'm downright nasty!
*A few Hufflepuffs clap halfheartedly a couple times. Hagrid has to force "Applebee, Abigail" to
put the hat on. When the first years try to run away, Hagrid resorts to chaining them to the hat and
stool. All sorted students, 1st-7th years, start nervously patting their heads. A few take out combs
and start using them. After the hasty feast (no one really has an appetite by now), everyone takes
a long, hot shower, washing their hair at least twice. Even Snape! {Heavens open and angels start
to sing} Snape: Awwwww, shut up!!! {throws shoe @ angels, causing them to stop} Dumbledore
takes the next day off to take the Sorting Hat to the dry cleaner's.*
~~~~~
A/N Absolutely sickening. *grins evilly* As in last chapter, I own nothing. What, you think I bought the
rights to Harry Potter from Warner Brothers while you reviewed/flamed the last chapter? You must
be crazy. ME TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! That said, review puh-lease! There is another one,
but I haven't typed it yet. I'm workin on it, I'm workin on it!!!
And I wouldn't wear the Sorting Hat for anything!!! I mean, think of who's worn it! And how old it is!
And I mean, there's no telling what it went through when Gryffindor owned it! I mean, ya know those
boys who like obsess over their hats and wear them through ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING?!?
My point exactly! And why does it have so manmy patches and stains anyway? I'll just sort myself
into Gryffindor, because I know the Sorting Hat wouldn't be able to choose between Gryffindor and
Slytherin with me, so, as to pervent myself from turning ENTIRELY evil, which, deep inside I know is
wrong O_~, I'd go to Gryffindor.... I think about this too much. Must go! Byeeee!!! And remember
what I said in last paragraph: MONKEYS SHALL CONSUME YOUR UNDERWEAR!!! I mean, uh, I didn't
say that, what I MEANT to say was review!!! Plllllleeeeeeeeeease??? And long live ACHOO!!!
~~~~~
You may not think I'm pretty
It's safe to judge by what you see
Because, I am downright disgusting
Here is my history:
I am the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
Yessir, I'm very old
I spend time in the attic
I'm beginning to mold.
Gryffindor used to wear me
Yep, he had long, oily hair
In fact, he never took me off!
I think his lice and dandruff is still there...
Once, I got blown off his head
A dog took me and tore me apart
His teeth were drooly and yellow!
His breath smelled like a fart!
Finally, he dropped me in the swamp
The filthy, flea-ridden bum
I decayed in there for several days
Floating merrily in the scum *everyone looks disgusted*
But Gryffindor, he found me there
And made me into what you see
(He wasn't good with a needle,
He bled all over me!) *people eye reddish-brown stains*
After centuries of rotting
I became disgustingly ghastly
So, come on, put me on your head!
Even though I'm downright nasty!
*A few Hufflepuffs clap halfheartedly a couple times. Hagrid has to force "Applebee, Abigail" to
put the hat on. When the first years try to run away, Hagrid resorts to chaining them to the hat and
stool. All sorted students, 1st-7th years, start nervously patting their heads. A few take out combs
and start using them. After the hasty feast (no one really has an appetite by now), everyone takes
a long, hot shower, washing their hair at least twice. Even Snape! {Heavens open and angels start
to sing} Snape: Awwwww, shut up!!! {throws shoe @ angels, causing them to stop} Dumbledore
takes the next day off to take the Sorting Hat to the dry cleaner's.*
~~~~~
A/N Absolutely sickening. *grins evilly* As in last chapter, I own nothing. What, you think I bought the
rights to Harry Potter from Warner Brothers while you reviewed/flamed the last chapter? You must
be crazy. ME TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! That said, review puh-lease! There is another one,
but I haven't typed it yet. I'm workin on it, I'm workin on it!!!
And I wouldn't wear the Sorting Hat for anything!!! I mean, think of who's worn it! And how old it is!
And I mean, there's no telling what it went through when Gryffindor owned it! I mean, ya know those
boys who like obsess over their hats and wear them through ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING?!?
My point exactly! And why does it have so manmy patches and stains anyway? I'll just sort myself
into Gryffindor, because I know the Sorting Hat wouldn't be able to choose between Gryffindor and
Slytherin with me, so, as to pervent myself from turning ENTIRELY evil, which, deep inside I know is
wrong O_~, I'd go to Gryffindor.... I think about this too much. Must go! Byeeee!!! And remember
what I said in last paragraph: MONKEYS SHALL CONSUME YOUR UNDERWEAR!!! I mean, uh, I didn't
say that, what I MEANT to say was review!!! Plllllleeeeeeeeeease??? And long live ACHOO!!!