Chapter Four: That's What Friends Are For
AN: As you might have noticed, Joyce is not dead in this. I need her in here, so
I decided to let her live, which proves again I have a better heart than Joss!
"Exactly what I expected," the former mayqueen exclaimed when she and Gunn were
entering the Hyperion hotel the morning after the wedding. "Didn't I tell you
Gunn?," she elbowed him in the ribs and he almost yelled. "Just look at him!"
Angel sighed and looked up from the coffee he'd been staring into. "Good Morning
to you too, Cordelia. Hi Gunn."
"Yo, Angel."
"Yeah, yeah," she motioned dismissively with her hand. "And it's not a good
morning anyway. Just look at you!"
The former vampire exchanged a quick glance with Gunn, who just shrugged and went over to check the mail. He knew that nothing he'd say would be of any interest for his wife right now, so he decided to keep his mouth shut. Cordelia was on a mission and nothing would stop her.
"Didn't you plan to go away for two or three days for a short honeymoon?," Angel
asked, trying to change the subject.
Gunn shrugged again, but his wife rolled her eyes, "Honeymoon, honeymoon. Who can think about something like that after the little display you two gave yesterday?"
"Cordelia I already told you I was sorry...," the former vampire began but she
held up a hand to stop him.
"I really don't care about it. You don't need to apologize. What I want to know
is what the hell happened yesterday. You were talking like good old friends and
all of a sudden she began to shout and then just ran away." When she saw his face closing up, she walked over to him and put a hand on his arm, "Oh no. You're not just going to walk away. You already did that yesterday, but today you're going to tell me!" She planted her hands at her hips daring him to do anything but exactly what she wanted him to.
Angel sighed again and thought about leaving. No, he couldn't do this. First of
all he'd ruined Cordelia's reception yesterday and secondly they were his family. He owed them and so after closing his eyes for a short moment, he took a deep breath, "She's just angry with me Cordelia. And she has every right to be. All the things she said were true. I left her, I made the Oracles to take back the day and I decided not to tell her that I was back and divorced."
"And?," she just stared at him.
"What and? I kept things from her, made decisions for her. Of course she's
angry!"
Cordlia stared at him for another moment, then threw her hands in the air and
began to pace the lobby. "I can't believe it. I simply can't believe it. Whatever did you do to her? Sure, you left her, but you did it so she could have a normal life. And she had one. I mean she married that nice-looking, smart lawyer-guy and has two nice kids. Is that something you need to feel guilty for? The answer is a big no-no in my book."
"Cordelia ..." he tried, but again she stopped him by holding up her hand.
"I'm not ready. Then the Day." She stopped and looked at him, "How did she find
out anyway?" He was about to open his mouth, but she made a dismissive gesture
and began to pace again, "Nevermind. It's not the problem, is it. So you made
them take the day away. To save her life. *Her* life. But the selfish bitch she
is, she never thought about you, right. If a man would do something like that for me ...," she shook her head but let it go for the moment.
"And then about your divorce. She was still married then, right. So why on earth
should you've told her you're back and free again? So," she came to stand in
front of him and stuck a finger and poked it into his chest, "tell me, what the
hell was so horrible about it?"
A smile crossed his lips when she was finished and he quickly took her hand and
kissed its back. "Cordelia, did I ever tell you that I love you."
"No, but you didn't answer my question either." She was deeply moved by his
words, but she couldn't let him see it at the moment. Not when she was so close
to breaking through the wall he'd been building since yesterday.
He let go of her hand and sighed again. "I'm not quite sure," he ran a hand
through his hair. "Buffy and I ... it's complicated."
"Do tell me!," Cordelia crossed her arms in front of her chest and grinned.
Angel couldn't help but grin back. "Yeah okay, so you're pretty much into all of
it. Hell, I think you're the only one who knows almost as much as I do. But
coming back to your question. I don't know why she reacted the way she did."
"And?," she repeated her question from before.
"Huh?"
"What I mean is, what are you going to do about it?," she asked, impatiently
tapping the fingers of her left hand on her right upper arm.
"Do about it?," Angel shook his head. "Cordelia, what do you expect me to do?
Buffy and I haven't seen each other for ... a long time. We're ... well not
strangers, but not friends either. We might have been lovers once, but a lot
happened in both our lives. A lot of pain on both sides. I'm not sure we can
overcome this and I don't know if she even wants to."
"Humour me!," the words were tossed at him and he saw anger flashing in her eyes. "I already told you he divorced her because he accused her of not loving him enough. Now, tell me, Mr. Wise-guy, why do you think is that?"
"And I've told you that it's nonsense. She was married to him for almost 10
years, they have two children..."
She waved her hands in front of his face, "Yeah, yeah, you said that before and
still it's bullshit. Alright they have two children. And what? You don't need to
be in love to create a child."
He didn't know how to reply to this so he just turned around to get himself some
more coffee from the kitchen, hoping she would give him a moment's peace. But of
course no such luck.
"You can run away as much as you want. God, you two could probably beat the world record in running away from each other. But not this time, Angel. This time, I am here and I will no longer stand you all depressed and brooding. You did that enough when you still were a vampire. But now you're human and it doesn't fit to sunshine and daylight."
Pouring himself another cup of coffee he said, "I know you mean it well,
Cordelia, but maybe you're wrong this time. Maybe," he shrugged and pushed the
sharp pain he was feeling in his heart away, "Buffy and I just aren't meant to
be." God, it hurt to even think it, saying it loud made it almost unbearable.
Codelia's heart went out for him. She didn't know anyone else who'd earned more
to be happy, and now when there finally was a chance for them, they both refused
to see it. Well, this time it wasn't only them anymore. This time she would take
care of this. A grin spread across her face. Hopefully her ally in Sunnydale
would be working on it as well.
******
"Hey Buffster," Xander entered Buffy's apartment with a huge smile on his face
that grew into a grin when he saw her standing in the living-room, wearing her
pyjamas and a pair of bunny slippers, rubbing her sleepy eyes. "You don't exactly look awake, you know."
"Maybe it's because I'm tired," she replied sarcastically.
He chose to ignore her comment and made his way over to the kitchen. "How about I make you some coffee. You can take a shower first and then we talk."
She raised a brow, "Talk? What would we want to talk about?"
He gave her a knowing glance and then pointed towards the bathroom, "Shower
first. Then coffee and talk."
"Whatever you say," she grumbled while she padded over to the bathroom. "But
there's really nothing we need to talk about."
Xander sighed and busied himself with the coffee machine. God, these two were two stubborn kids. He had to laugh at the fact he was relating to Angel as a kid. The guy could be his ancestor, but age certainly hadn't made him wiser, not if it was about matters of love. He just prayed Cordelia was right about those two and he wasn't making a fool of himself.
*
Twenty minutes later they were both sitting in her living room, each of them
holding a steaming mug of coffee. The children were still at Joyce as they all
had returned late last night.
"So, are you going to tell me now what happened yesterday," Xander asked over the rim of his cup.
"I don't owe you an answer," she replied defensively.
"No," he sighed and put his mug down. "No, you don't. But Buffy," he waited until she was looking at him, "you are my friend. I care about you and I can see you're not happy. So, no you don't owe me any answers, but maybe you could tell me anyway and maybe, just maybe I could help."
"Oh Xand," she said after a short silence and stared into her cup. "I really
freaked yesterday, didn't I?," she looked at him unhappily. "I'm so sorry I
ruined the party for Cordy and Gunn. But when he told me, he hadn't wanted me to
know...," she shrugged, "something just snapped. It just blurted it out and I
couldn't stop it anymore."
"Emotions always ran high with the two of you," he tried to joke, but not even
the hint of a smile appeared on her lips. So he tried another way, "Look, I know
Angel messed up a lot, but he isn't a bad guy. And he really wanted to tell you
he was back, but then Cordy told him about the problems you had with Brent and
so... Maybe it was wrong of him, but if you'are think about it, really think,
wouldn't it have been just one more problem for you at that point?"
Buffy narrowed her eyes at him, "Since when did you join the Angel fan-club? No
more Dead Boy-jokes and calling him a jerk, all of a sudden it's like 'Angel is
the best of my bestest buds'?"
Xander shrugged at her comment, "Maybe I'm just a grown-up now or maybe I've only now had an opportunity to really get to know him and realised he isn't half-bad. He had it pretty rough Buff, I think most of us wouldn't have managed to get through the things he's mastered. Maybe you should take the time and talk to him, maybe then you'll understand him better."
Anger flashed in her eyes, "But that's exactly the point. *He* never talked to
me. It was always like hey honey, I think that's best for you honey, bye honey.
The only time we really talked was on a day that wasn't even real and that I
didn't remember for years. And even then he took it away from me!" Angrily she
wiped a single tear away that had escaped her eye.
He looked at he for a long moment, "I don't exactly know what you're talking
about, a day that he took away from you? But that's not the point here, is it?
The point is that you are both free now and both human, both not hunting demons
anymore. The point is, do you still want to be with him? You should better think
about it soon, because you've already wasted too much time in my book."
End of Chapter Four.
AN: As you might have noticed, Joyce is not dead in this. I need her in here, so
I decided to let her live, which proves again I have a better heart than Joss!
"Exactly what I expected," the former mayqueen exclaimed when she and Gunn were
entering the Hyperion hotel the morning after the wedding. "Didn't I tell you
Gunn?," she elbowed him in the ribs and he almost yelled. "Just look at him!"
Angel sighed and looked up from the coffee he'd been staring into. "Good Morning
to you too, Cordelia. Hi Gunn."
"Yo, Angel."
"Yeah, yeah," she motioned dismissively with her hand. "And it's not a good
morning anyway. Just look at you!"
The former vampire exchanged a quick glance with Gunn, who just shrugged and went over to check the mail. He knew that nothing he'd say would be of any interest for his wife right now, so he decided to keep his mouth shut. Cordelia was on a mission and nothing would stop her.
"Didn't you plan to go away for two or three days for a short honeymoon?," Angel
asked, trying to change the subject.
Gunn shrugged again, but his wife rolled her eyes, "Honeymoon, honeymoon. Who can think about something like that after the little display you two gave yesterday?"
"Cordelia I already told you I was sorry...," the former vampire began but she
held up a hand to stop him.
"I really don't care about it. You don't need to apologize. What I want to know
is what the hell happened yesterday. You were talking like good old friends and
all of a sudden she began to shout and then just ran away." When she saw his face closing up, she walked over to him and put a hand on his arm, "Oh no. You're not just going to walk away. You already did that yesterday, but today you're going to tell me!" She planted her hands at her hips daring him to do anything but exactly what she wanted him to.
Angel sighed again and thought about leaving. No, he couldn't do this. First of
all he'd ruined Cordelia's reception yesterday and secondly they were his family. He owed them and so after closing his eyes for a short moment, he took a deep breath, "She's just angry with me Cordelia. And she has every right to be. All the things she said were true. I left her, I made the Oracles to take back the day and I decided not to tell her that I was back and divorced."
"And?," she just stared at him.
"What and? I kept things from her, made decisions for her. Of course she's
angry!"
Cordlia stared at him for another moment, then threw her hands in the air and
began to pace the lobby. "I can't believe it. I simply can't believe it. Whatever did you do to her? Sure, you left her, but you did it so she could have a normal life. And she had one. I mean she married that nice-looking, smart lawyer-guy and has two nice kids. Is that something you need to feel guilty for? The answer is a big no-no in my book."
"Cordelia ..." he tried, but again she stopped him by holding up her hand.
"I'm not ready. Then the Day." She stopped and looked at him, "How did she find
out anyway?" He was about to open his mouth, but she made a dismissive gesture
and began to pace again, "Nevermind. It's not the problem, is it. So you made
them take the day away. To save her life. *Her* life. But the selfish bitch she
is, she never thought about you, right. If a man would do something like that for me ...," she shook her head but let it go for the moment.
"And then about your divorce. She was still married then, right. So why on earth
should you've told her you're back and free again? So," she came to stand in
front of him and stuck a finger and poked it into his chest, "tell me, what the
hell was so horrible about it?"
A smile crossed his lips when she was finished and he quickly took her hand and
kissed its back. "Cordelia, did I ever tell you that I love you."
"No, but you didn't answer my question either." She was deeply moved by his
words, but she couldn't let him see it at the moment. Not when she was so close
to breaking through the wall he'd been building since yesterday.
He let go of her hand and sighed again. "I'm not quite sure," he ran a hand
through his hair. "Buffy and I ... it's complicated."
"Do tell me!," Cordelia crossed her arms in front of her chest and grinned.
Angel couldn't help but grin back. "Yeah okay, so you're pretty much into all of
it. Hell, I think you're the only one who knows almost as much as I do. But
coming back to your question. I don't know why she reacted the way she did."
"And?," she repeated her question from before.
"Huh?"
"What I mean is, what are you going to do about it?," she asked, impatiently
tapping the fingers of her left hand on her right upper arm.
"Do about it?," Angel shook his head. "Cordelia, what do you expect me to do?
Buffy and I haven't seen each other for ... a long time. We're ... well not
strangers, but not friends either. We might have been lovers once, but a lot
happened in both our lives. A lot of pain on both sides. I'm not sure we can
overcome this and I don't know if she even wants to."
"Humour me!," the words were tossed at him and he saw anger flashing in her eyes. "I already told you he divorced her because he accused her of not loving him enough. Now, tell me, Mr. Wise-guy, why do you think is that?"
"And I've told you that it's nonsense. She was married to him for almost 10
years, they have two children..."
She waved her hands in front of his face, "Yeah, yeah, you said that before and
still it's bullshit. Alright they have two children. And what? You don't need to
be in love to create a child."
He didn't know how to reply to this so he just turned around to get himself some
more coffee from the kitchen, hoping she would give him a moment's peace. But of
course no such luck.
"You can run away as much as you want. God, you two could probably beat the world record in running away from each other. But not this time, Angel. This time, I am here and I will no longer stand you all depressed and brooding. You did that enough when you still were a vampire. But now you're human and it doesn't fit to sunshine and daylight."
Pouring himself another cup of coffee he said, "I know you mean it well,
Cordelia, but maybe you're wrong this time. Maybe," he shrugged and pushed the
sharp pain he was feeling in his heart away, "Buffy and I just aren't meant to
be." God, it hurt to even think it, saying it loud made it almost unbearable.
Codelia's heart went out for him. She didn't know anyone else who'd earned more
to be happy, and now when there finally was a chance for them, they both refused
to see it. Well, this time it wasn't only them anymore. This time she would take
care of this. A grin spread across her face. Hopefully her ally in Sunnydale
would be working on it as well.
******
"Hey Buffster," Xander entered Buffy's apartment with a huge smile on his face
that grew into a grin when he saw her standing in the living-room, wearing her
pyjamas and a pair of bunny slippers, rubbing her sleepy eyes. "You don't exactly look awake, you know."
"Maybe it's because I'm tired," she replied sarcastically.
He chose to ignore her comment and made his way over to the kitchen. "How about I make you some coffee. You can take a shower first and then we talk."
She raised a brow, "Talk? What would we want to talk about?"
He gave her a knowing glance and then pointed towards the bathroom, "Shower
first. Then coffee and talk."
"Whatever you say," she grumbled while she padded over to the bathroom. "But
there's really nothing we need to talk about."
Xander sighed and busied himself with the coffee machine. God, these two were two stubborn kids. He had to laugh at the fact he was relating to Angel as a kid. The guy could be his ancestor, but age certainly hadn't made him wiser, not if it was about matters of love. He just prayed Cordelia was right about those two and he wasn't making a fool of himself.
*
Twenty minutes later they were both sitting in her living room, each of them
holding a steaming mug of coffee. The children were still at Joyce as they all
had returned late last night.
"So, are you going to tell me now what happened yesterday," Xander asked over the rim of his cup.
"I don't owe you an answer," she replied defensively.
"No," he sighed and put his mug down. "No, you don't. But Buffy," he waited until she was looking at him, "you are my friend. I care about you and I can see you're not happy. So, no you don't owe me any answers, but maybe you could tell me anyway and maybe, just maybe I could help."
"Oh Xand," she said after a short silence and stared into her cup. "I really
freaked yesterday, didn't I?," she looked at him unhappily. "I'm so sorry I
ruined the party for Cordy and Gunn. But when he told me, he hadn't wanted me to
know...," she shrugged, "something just snapped. It just blurted it out and I
couldn't stop it anymore."
"Emotions always ran high with the two of you," he tried to joke, but not even
the hint of a smile appeared on her lips. So he tried another way, "Look, I know
Angel messed up a lot, but he isn't a bad guy. And he really wanted to tell you
he was back, but then Cordy told him about the problems you had with Brent and
so... Maybe it was wrong of him, but if you'are think about it, really think,
wouldn't it have been just one more problem for you at that point?"
Buffy narrowed her eyes at him, "Since when did you join the Angel fan-club? No
more Dead Boy-jokes and calling him a jerk, all of a sudden it's like 'Angel is
the best of my bestest buds'?"
Xander shrugged at her comment, "Maybe I'm just a grown-up now or maybe I've only now had an opportunity to really get to know him and realised he isn't half-bad. He had it pretty rough Buff, I think most of us wouldn't have managed to get through the things he's mastered. Maybe you should take the time and talk to him, maybe then you'll understand him better."
Anger flashed in her eyes, "But that's exactly the point. *He* never talked to
me. It was always like hey honey, I think that's best for you honey, bye honey.
The only time we really talked was on a day that wasn't even real and that I
didn't remember for years. And even then he took it away from me!" Angrily she
wiped a single tear away that had escaped her eye.
He looked at he for a long moment, "I don't exactly know what you're talking
about, a day that he took away from you? But that's not the point here, is it?
The point is that you are both free now and both human, both not hunting demons
anymore. The point is, do you still want to be with him? You should better think
about it soon, because you've already wasted too much time in my book."
End of Chapter Four.