Note: I wrote this at
the height of my Gundam craze, which was, alas, quite some time ago, so
it's not up to par with my current fanfiction writing style (which is lacking
almost everything as it is, anyway, so you can imagine how terrible I feel
about THIS one). It's standard Zechs angst, mixed in with standard
Noin obsessive behavior. Not too desparate on either side (but hell,
if I was the object of attraction to a man like that, I'd be counting the
days between visits, too).
All the survivors of the war had reached their homes by now and so put
the perils of battle behind them.
Among them was the perfect soldier, the God of Death, the Silencer, the
Noble of the desert, and the Dragon. Determined to extinguish the
last flames of battle, they'd set their weapons ablaze, the brilliant detonations
a testimony to the world that the war was now truly over. They could
live their lives without the cost of others'.
Because they are still alive. . . . The haunting voice in
Zechs Merquise's mind whispered to him. But what of the soldier
that is dead, but still living? Soldiers were supposed to fade
away when peace came. Disappear into history books. Die.
Zechs could not. . .because he had already died. The day he'd ordered
Libra to ram the earth, he'd sentenced himself. Hoping that history
would look on his 'mistake' with disgust, and see how horrible war really
was. He'd sacrificed more than his life for the cause. . .he'd sacrificed
his soul.
He would have been more than willing to just fade away now. Even destroy
himself, as the Gundam pilots had done to their Gundams. After all,
his body was just as much a weapon as Tallgeese had been. But he
couldn't. Not now that. . . .
He glanced over to his left at the woman sitting beside him. She'd
insisted on coming with him on his journey, though he himself didn't know
where he was going. He'd tried for the past two years to keep her
away from him, knowing this might happen. Meeting her on the battlefield
outside Marimaea's mansion had been a mistake. . .but the past was the
past. He hated to have to be a burden to her, but she'd threatened
him, under gunpoint, none the less, that attempting to take off again was
futile.
Supposedly, there was some sort of a Terraforming project that could use
their help, and it promised to be a smaller operation that would
not put him in the public eye. It would take them a few hours to
get to the colony, and until then, he had nothing but his thoughts, space,
and the beautiful woman beside him.
Lucrezia stood up and walked behind his chair, leaning over and wrapping
her arms around his neck. He felt her cheek against his, and then
her breath as she spoke.
"Thinking hard, are we?"
Zechs afforded her a half smile, but kept his eyes focused on the starry
space in front of them. "Trying to figure out how to get rid of you
so you can attempt to live a happy life."
"Come now, you know I'm not happy unless you're around." She chuckled.
"Oh yes, I'm just a great big ray of sunshine." Zechs snorted, then
tilted his head to the side. "What DO you see in me, anyway?"
"Right now," Lucrezia pushed a few strands of his hair away from
her face. "Just your hair." She attempted to move some of his
bangs away from his face, but they just fell back into their disarrayed
tumble. She sighed, "You know, it really annoys me when I can't see
your face. It reminds me of all those years. . . ."
"You're one to talk, you know." Zechs lifted a hand up, brushing
aside the frond of black hair covering her right eye. "I've only
ever seen one side of your face at once. It makes me wonder how you
ever managed to pilot a suit."
Lucrezia suddenly erupted with laughter.
Zechs blinked. "What?" He questioned.
"Do you. . ." she covered her mouth with her hand, attempting to stifle
another laugh, ". . .you know Heero asked me the exact same thing a year
and half ago, when he was staying at the Cinq Kingdom? Quatre, too."
Zechs was silent for a minute, and then he murmured quietly, "The Cinq
kingdom. . .I wonder how Relena is doing now."
"She'll be fine, Zechs." Lucrezia patted his shoulder. "With
Heero taking over security?"
"That's what I'm worried about."
"You're just being overprotective now." She said, putting her head
over his shoulder and closing her eyes. "Heero certainly isn't going
to hurt her. He's had about three thousand opportunities to do that
already, and he never did. Plus, he loves her."
Zechs sighed, his mind drifting back to the short conversation he and Heero
had had just a day ago. After crashing his Gundam and attempting
to shoot Marimaea, the youth had passed out, presumably from the physical
stress of battling in Wing for so long, and at such an intense level.
After he'd regained consciousness, he'd travelled with Relena to the Cinq
Kingdom, leaving the other Gundam pilots to their own destinies.
Zechs had stopped by to bade a silent farewell to his sister, and was confronted
by Heero.
"Shouldn't you say good-bye to her face?" The youth asked.
"Relena does not need the distraction now." Zechs answered, looking
through the window into the room where she sat talking with a group of
older delegates. "And she no longer needs my protection." He
looked back at the dark brown-haired gundam pilot.
Heero's face was unreadable, as usual, but judging by the time he took
to respond, he was probably considering what Zechs had said.
"So," Heero let his arms rest by his sides, "what will you do now?"
"I could ask you the same." Zechs said. "I've wondered for
some time what the perfect soldier will do in a time of peace."
"I'll do as I always have," Heero answered, "I'll live by my emotions.
I don't know where I'll go, but I will know when I have to."
Zechs nodded. "I'm not sure where my path lies, either. But
I'll take that as advice." He put his hand forward, slowly.
Heero looked down at the offering, was silent for a moment, then put his
hand out and shook. Zechs was reminded of when they had shaken hands
before the battle in Antarctica, but unlike then, the agreement now was
not one of death, but of life.
"Hm." Zechs said quietly, and realized, for the first time, that
as his mind had drifted off, so had Lucrezia.
He looked up, surprised to see she was no longer in the cockpit.
Craning his neck, he looked beyond, to the open door leading to the quarters
of the small shuttle. It was open.
He got up from his seat and walked through the doorway, emerging into the
small room beyond. He couldn't see her anywhere in the dark room.
He was abruptly jarred backwards as a strong hold wrapped around his neck
from behind. "Surprise." He heard her whisper into his ear.
Then a tongue traced along the side of his jaw. He was hit with a
sense of deja vu. . .remembering a certain incident last year when Lucrezia
had ambushed him like this at the lake victoria academy.
"You know," he grunted as Lucrezia tightened her hold on him and tasted
his skin again, "it's going to be real difficult for us to do anything
with these suits on."
Lucrezia just chuckled. "I already got mine off." She lowered
her arms around his waste. "Now all we have to do is work on yours."
She tightened her arms again. "I told you I would never leave your
side. And I meant it."
"Why would you want to live with a dead man?" He asked.
"Because I love him." She answered, and leaned forward to kiss him.
Zechs found himself lost in the moment. The last fleeting thought
that went through his head was Heero's advice. Live by your emotions.
He knew what he felt for Lucrezia. For now, that would be enough
to guide him.
