Chapter Eleven: That Loving Feeling
"Morning Mom," Buffy greeted Joyce when she breezed into the house at Robello
Drive, David on her arm and a smile on her face.
"Hi honey, you look ... radiant, I say," Mrs. Summers eyed her daughter
curiously.
"I feel great," the former slayer replied and walked into the living-room to put
her son down, he was already becoming impatient in her arms. He wanted to play on grandma's floor where all his toys were still lying around from the last time
he'd been here.
"I can see that." Joyce wasn't quite sure what to think about her daughter's
attitude this morning. But she was sure something important must have happened.
Buffy looked as if she wanted to conquer the world, the energy was radiating from her and her eyes were shining. Joyce might have been oblivious once but she had a certain idea what could be the cause of all this. She casually leaned against the doorframe and when her daughter turned and looked at her, she said, "I guess you and Angel talked."
It wasn't much of a question, Buffy noticed immediately. Of course her mother
knew that she and Angel were seeing each other, but obviously she'd also noticed
that it hadn't been going the way her daughter wanted for a while. "We have,"
Buffy replied, "yesterday I suddenly saw everything so clear before me. He was
just afraid to take the next step because he wasn't sure how I'd react." She
smiled, "so I took the matters in my own hands."
"I see," one corner of Joyce's mouth twitched. "Is it safe to say that you've
taken the next step now?"
"Well, we kissed for a start. God, mom, you should've seen him. He was so
hesitant, so uncertain ... if I hadn't been in love with him before I would've
fallen in love with him then." She laughed and shook her head.
"Love?," Mrs. Summers raised a brow and stepped closer, "Honey are you sure about it? Are you sure it isn't just because you feel alone and Angel reminds you of happy times when you were young?"
"What's this," Buffy frowned at her mother, "I thought you were okay with this?"
"I am," Joyce replied quickly. "And the way your eyes are shining I don't think
you'd really care what I say. No, I just want to be certain that you're sure
about this."
"I am sure. Mom, I love him. I always loved him. And the things connected to
Angel and our past are ... let's just say they aren't that nice. In fact these
were the things that stood between us, but we talked about it. The first day he
came to my apartment and yesterday after we kissed we talked again. Mom, I love
him so much and because I knew it all the time it scared me to death. With Angel
there is no half-way, it isn't safe, I cannot just hide some part of me. I have
to open up and make myself vulnerable.
"And he hurt me before, but we talked and I understand now why he did the things
he did and there were a lot of misunderstandings too. And I trust him, I know he
would never hurt me deliberately. And I know he loves me too," she took a deep
breath and smiled at her mother, "Does this answer your question?"
Now Mrs. Summers smiled as well, "It does. And I didn't want to give you the
third degree, but you are my daughter and I love you and I don't want you to get
hurt again."
"I know and I'm not angry or something. But I just feel this is right and this
brings me to my next question," she bit her lower lip. "Angel wants to take me
out for dinner tonight and ... well ...," she blushed slightly.
Her mother grinned, "You want me to take the kids for the night?"
"Yeah," Buffy let out a breath of relief. "I don't know what's going to happen
after dinner, we didn't talk about it, but ...," she trailed off and blushed a
bit more.
"Honey," Joyce laid a hand on her daughter's arm. "I understand. Of course I take the kids. David can stay here and I get Ashlynn after school. You know how they like to stay with me for a night."
"Thanks," the former slayer hugged her mother. "You're the best. I owe you for
this."
"No you don't," Mrs. Summers replied and pulled back. "Just be happy. That's all
I need."
"I am," Buffy said dreamily, "I really am."
*****
"So you're taking her out for dinner. Does that mean you stay there overnight?,"
Cordelia grinned at the former vampire who was going through his wardrobe.
"You're having naughty thoughts, Cordelia," he replied, not looking at her,
"Ever since your honeymoon your thoughts only seem to go into a certain
direction."
A laughter escaped her throat, "Haha, very funny. Because you never have these
thoughts when you look at Buffy!"
Angel silently spoke a quick prayer of patience, took a deep breath and said,
"Honestly, that's none of your business."
"Hey," she grinned, "I think this really embarrasses you, doesn't it? For all the years you were around you just can't get over your 18th century Irish-catholic upbringing." She laughed out loud, "I can't believe it."
He slightly shook his head and turned to look at her, "No, Cordelia, it doesn't
embarrass me. I just don't want to talk about it. Whatever Buffy and I are going
to do is between us. I'm not going to discuss this with you. Period."
"You wouldn't even be together now if it wasn't for me."
"Maybe," he admitted, "and I'll be eternally grateful for that, but now it stops. Buffy and I are together and it's for us to decide where and how to go from here." He shot her a stern glance, then decided for the dark green jacket
Cordelia had persuaded him to buy some weeks ago.
"Fine," she pouted, "but don't blame me if something goes wrong."
He gave her a smile, then grabbed his wallet and checked the pockets of his
trousers for his car keys. On his way out he stopped in front of her, "I love
you, Cordelia. And thanks." He kissed her on the cheek and walked down the
stairs. When he opened the door that led towards the garage, he heard her behind
him, "Have a nice evening and give my love to Buffy. Oh and don't think I'll
forget the part about you being eternally grateful."
Angel groaned when he climbed into his car, he should really be more careful with words, especially around Cordelia.
****
"I'm so glad that you could come over," Buffy gave Willow a grateful smile while
she applied her makeup. She'd called the red-head an hour ago and told her she
needed a second opinion about clothes.
Willow had raised a brow at the other end of the line because she wouldn't have
thought of herself as the first choice when it came to fashion, but the nervous
tremble in Buffy's voice had told her that the question had merely been an
excuse. The former slayer wanted someone to talk to and listening had always been one of Willow's best qualities, plus she'd seen the change in Buffy's behaviour ever since she and Angel were seeing each other again. The fact that the couple was on the brick of something serious again hit right to the core of the red-head's romantic heart. And it made her feel good. Hadn't she always thought Angel and Buffy were just right for each other?
"When will Angel be here?," she asked.
"At seven thirty," Buffy replied and glanced at the clock. A slightly panicked
look entered her eyes. "It's already six thirty. Only an hour left. And look at
me, I'm never going to be ready in time."
Willow had to laugh, "I think Angel won't mind to wait," she assured her friend.
It was heart-warming to see the former slayer like this. Buffy might have been
happily married for some years, she might have felt comfortable with Riley for a
while but she hadn't radiated this kind of happiness since her 17th birthday. It
was of the carefree kind and Willow decided that if anybody had earned to feel
like this it was Buffy. And Angel of course, she added quickly.
With a doubtful look that made Willow laugh again, Buffy stood up and walked over to the three dresses she'd selected before. "What do you think?"
"Buffy, you are going to wear it," she reminded the blond.
"I know," the former slayer sighed. "Angel said I should dress up a bit. A bit!
What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
The red-head grinned, "Not too fancy, I guess."
Buffy shot her best friend a nasty look, "You're a great help you know."
"I'm not really the fashion expert here," Willow defended herself. "The only one
who would be good in that department is in L.A. I'd be better if you wanted to
shop online."
"Very funny," the blonde crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared at the three dresses. "Do you think red is ... I dunno ... too obvious?"
Willow cocked a brow, "Too obvious?"
"You know, sexually. In psychology I learned that red is a sexual aggressive
colour." She stopped and bit her lower lip, a sure sign that she wasn't feeling
too comfortable about the subject, "I don't want to make Angel uncomfortable. I
don't even know if he's planning to ... not that I wouldn't want ... I mean,"
embarrassed she interrupted herself and her shoulders sagged. "God, Willow, I
behave like a nervous teenager on her first date."
"That's because it's important to you, Buffy," the red-head said gently. "And
frankly I don't think a sexual hint would make Angel uncomfortable. If you want
to hear my opinion, I think he would welcome it."
"God, I hope you're right," Buffy said without thinking, only to blush furiously. "Maybe I better keep my mouth shut tonight before I completely embarrass myself."
"Angel loves you," Willow replied. "I think he'll understand perfectly. I
wouldn't be surprised at all if he's even more nervous than you."
*****
She couldn't have been more right. The former vampire sat in his car on his way
towards Sunnydale and his thoughts ran wild. What would she expect him to do?
Would she just say yes because she thought he wanted to make love to her? Would
she feel uncomfortable again? He ran a hand through his hair, then put it back on the wheel.
Calm down, he told himself. You're over 250 years old, you're going to conquer
this. Just let the evening happen and you'll see.
He just wished it would be as easy as it sounded.
End of Chapter Eleven.
"Morning Mom," Buffy greeted Joyce when she breezed into the house at Robello
Drive, David on her arm and a smile on her face.
"Hi honey, you look ... radiant, I say," Mrs. Summers eyed her daughter
curiously.
"I feel great," the former slayer replied and walked into the living-room to put
her son down, he was already becoming impatient in her arms. He wanted to play on grandma's floor where all his toys were still lying around from the last time
he'd been here.
"I can see that." Joyce wasn't quite sure what to think about her daughter's
attitude this morning. But she was sure something important must have happened.
Buffy looked as if she wanted to conquer the world, the energy was radiating from her and her eyes were shining. Joyce might have been oblivious once but she had a certain idea what could be the cause of all this. She casually leaned against the doorframe and when her daughter turned and looked at her, she said, "I guess you and Angel talked."
It wasn't much of a question, Buffy noticed immediately. Of course her mother
knew that she and Angel were seeing each other, but obviously she'd also noticed
that it hadn't been going the way her daughter wanted for a while. "We have,"
Buffy replied, "yesterday I suddenly saw everything so clear before me. He was
just afraid to take the next step because he wasn't sure how I'd react." She
smiled, "so I took the matters in my own hands."
"I see," one corner of Joyce's mouth twitched. "Is it safe to say that you've
taken the next step now?"
"Well, we kissed for a start. God, mom, you should've seen him. He was so
hesitant, so uncertain ... if I hadn't been in love with him before I would've
fallen in love with him then." She laughed and shook her head.
"Love?," Mrs. Summers raised a brow and stepped closer, "Honey are you sure about it? Are you sure it isn't just because you feel alone and Angel reminds you of happy times when you were young?"
"What's this," Buffy frowned at her mother, "I thought you were okay with this?"
"I am," Joyce replied quickly. "And the way your eyes are shining I don't think
you'd really care what I say. No, I just want to be certain that you're sure
about this."
"I am sure. Mom, I love him. I always loved him. And the things connected to
Angel and our past are ... let's just say they aren't that nice. In fact these
were the things that stood between us, but we talked about it. The first day he
came to my apartment and yesterday after we kissed we talked again. Mom, I love
him so much and because I knew it all the time it scared me to death. With Angel
there is no half-way, it isn't safe, I cannot just hide some part of me. I have
to open up and make myself vulnerable.
"And he hurt me before, but we talked and I understand now why he did the things
he did and there were a lot of misunderstandings too. And I trust him, I know he
would never hurt me deliberately. And I know he loves me too," she took a deep
breath and smiled at her mother, "Does this answer your question?"
Now Mrs. Summers smiled as well, "It does. And I didn't want to give you the
third degree, but you are my daughter and I love you and I don't want you to get
hurt again."
"I know and I'm not angry or something. But I just feel this is right and this
brings me to my next question," she bit her lower lip. "Angel wants to take me
out for dinner tonight and ... well ...," she blushed slightly.
Her mother grinned, "You want me to take the kids for the night?"
"Yeah," Buffy let out a breath of relief. "I don't know what's going to happen
after dinner, we didn't talk about it, but ...," she trailed off and blushed a
bit more.
"Honey," Joyce laid a hand on her daughter's arm. "I understand. Of course I take the kids. David can stay here and I get Ashlynn after school. You know how they like to stay with me for a night."
"Thanks," the former slayer hugged her mother. "You're the best. I owe you for
this."
"No you don't," Mrs. Summers replied and pulled back. "Just be happy. That's all
I need."
"I am," Buffy said dreamily, "I really am."
*****
"So you're taking her out for dinner. Does that mean you stay there overnight?,"
Cordelia grinned at the former vampire who was going through his wardrobe.
"You're having naughty thoughts, Cordelia," he replied, not looking at her,
"Ever since your honeymoon your thoughts only seem to go into a certain
direction."
A laughter escaped her throat, "Haha, very funny. Because you never have these
thoughts when you look at Buffy!"
Angel silently spoke a quick prayer of patience, took a deep breath and said,
"Honestly, that's none of your business."
"Hey," she grinned, "I think this really embarrasses you, doesn't it? For all the years you were around you just can't get over your 18th century Irish-catholic upbringing." She laughed out loud, "I can't believe it."
He slightly shook his head and turned to look at her, "No, Cordelia, it doesn't
embarrass me. I just don't want to talk about it. Whatever Buffy and I are going
to do is between us. I'm not going to discuss this with you. Period."
"You wouldn't even be together now if it wasn't for me."
"Maybe," he admitted, "and I'll be eternally grateful for that, but now it stops. Buffy and I are together and it's for us to decide where and how to go from here." He shot her a stern glance, then decided for the dark green jacket
Cordelia had persuaded him to buy some weeks ago.
"Fine," she pouted, "but don't blame me if something goes wrong."
He gave her a smile, then grabbed his wallet and checked the pockets of his
trousers for his car keys. On his way out he stopped in front of her, "I love
you, Cordelia. And thanks." He kissed her on the cheek and walked down the
stairs. When he opened the door that led towards the garage, he heard her behind
him, "Have a nice evening and give my love to Buffy. Oh and don't think I'll
forget the part about you being eternally grateful."
Angel groaned when he climbed into his car, he should really be more careful with words, especially around Cordelia.
****
"I'm so glad that you could come over," Buffy gave Willow a grateful smile while
she applied her makeup. She'd called the red-head an hour ago and told her she
needed a second opinion about clothes.
Willow had raised a brow at the other end of the line because she wouldn't have
thought of herself as the first choice when it came to fashion, but the nervous
tremble in Buffy's voice had told her that the question had merely been an
excuse. The former slayer wanted someone to talk to and listening had always been one of Willow's best qualities, plus she'd seen the change in Buffy's behaviour ever since she and Angel were seeing each other again. The fact that the couple was on the brick of something serious again hit right to the core of the red-head's romantic heart. And it made her feel good. Hadn't she always thought Angel and Buffy were just right for each other?
"When will Angel be here?," she asked.
"At seven thirty," Buffy replied and glanced at the clock. A slightly panicked
look entered her eyes. "It's already six thirty. Only an hour left. And look at
me, I'm never going to be ready in time."
Willow had to laugh, "I think Angel won't mind to wait," she assured her friend.
It was heart-warming to see the former slayer like this. Buffy might have been
happily married for some years, she might have felt comfortable with Riley for a
while but she hadn't radiated this kind of happiness since her 17th birthday. It
was of the carefree kind and Willow decided that if anybody had earned to feel
like this it was Buffy. And Angel of course, she added quickly.
With a doubtful look that made Willow laugh again, Buffy stood up and walked over to the three dresses she'd selected before. "What do you think?"
"Buffy, you are going to wear it," she reminded the blond.
"I know," the former slayer sighed. "Angel said I should dress up a bit. A bit!
What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
The red-head grinned, "Not too fancy, I guess."
Buffy shot her best friend a nasty look, "You're a great help you know."
"I'm not really the fashion expert here," Willow defended herself. "The only one
who would be good in that department is in L.A. I'd be better if you wanted to
shop online."
"Very funny," the blonde crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared at the three dresses. "Do you think red is ... I dunno ... too obvious?"
Willow cocked a brow, "Too obvious?"
"You know, sexually. In psychology I learned that red is a sexual aggressive
colour." She stopped and bit her lower lip, a sure sign that she wasn't feeling
too comfortable about the subject, "I don't want to make Angel uncomfortable. I
don't even know if he's planning to ... not that I wouldn't want ... I mean,"
embarrassed she interrupted herself and her shoulders sagged. "God, Willow, I
behave like a nervous teenager on her first date."
"That's because it's important to you, Buffy," the red-head said gently. "And
frankly I don't think a sexual hint would make Angel uncomfortable. If you want
to hear my opinion, I think he would welcome it."
"God, I hope you're right," Buffy said without thinking, only to blush furiously. "Maybe I better keep my mouth shut tonight before I completely embarrass myself."
"Angel loves you," Willow replied. "I think he'll understand perfectly. I
wouldn't be surprised at all if he's even more nervous than you."
*****
She couldn't have been more right. The former vampire sat in his car on his way
towards Sunnydale and his thoughts ran wild. What would she expect him to do?
Would she just say yes because she thought he wanted to make love to her? Would
she feel uncomfortable again? He ran a hand through his hair, then put it back on the wheel.
Calm down, he told himself. You're over 250 years old, you're going to conquer
this. Just let the evening happen and you'll see.
He just wished it would be as easy as it sounded.
End of Chapter Eleven.