The Owl Revolution
[Breakfastime at Hogwarts]

Harry: (munching toast) "Oy! Look, Hedwigs coming at top speed."

[Hedwig, among other owls, have swooped in at the breakfast table]

Hedwig:(clipping beak furiously) "Caw, cawww!!!"

Ron: (bewildered) "What's the matter with her."

Harry: (Hedwig attempting to bite his nose) "I-I don't know!"

[More owls swoop in, screeching and clawing the students]

Hermione: (blocking her face) "EEP!" (the owls seem focused on Hermione)

[Hedwig steals Harry's toast]

Harry: (folding arms) "It's not fair!" (bawls)

Ron: (trying to swat owls away from Hermione) "Get off her!"(turns desperatly towards Harry)
"Why are they focused on her?!"

Harry: (still angry that Hedwig took his toast) "I dunno, maybe her bushy hair resembles an owl."(pouts)

Hermione:(eyes fill with tears) "-sniff- Oh....."

Ron: (theatrically) "But I like your bushy hair!" (embraces Hermione)

Hermione: (being nipped repeatedly by owls) "Erm..OUCH! Oka- OWWW!"

Ron: (grins wickedly) "C'mon Hermione! I must hide you from the owls!"(grabs her elbow) "Let's go hide in Filch's closet! They will never go in there."

Hermione: (nods gratefully) "Alright...thank you Ron."(Ron leads her away, looking strangely delighted)

[The rest of the students scamper about, like chickens without heads]

Harry: (shielding head) "This is just like when my pet snail went crazy." (eyes fill with tears) "H-He kept trying to attack my thornbeetle, but it wasn't an even match...and he-he died."(screams to the heavens) "MY POOR
ELIZABETH!"

Dumbledore: "Quick! Hide in the Greenhouse!"

[All flee towards the greenhouse]

Dumbledore: (apparantly feeling superior) "Ha! Lets see those owls try'un get us now!"(laughs menacingly)

[The owls fly straight into the glass, each time, breaking the glass a little and falling to the floor]

Students, except Harry: (frozen with fear as they observe the owl's tactics)

Harry: (brightly) "This reminds me of a joke-"

All except Seamus: (groan)

Seamus: (happily) "What is the joke, Harry."

Harry: (talks in a conversational tone) "Why do Kamikaze pilots....... wear helmets?" (falls on the floor, whooping)

[Dumbledore raises his wand to curse Harry, but Ginny beats him to it]

Ginny: "Crucio!"

Harry: (twitching on the floor) "Nyaaaaaa- eyaaaaa!"

Owls:(insane hoots are still heard from outside) "HoooOOO-oooooOOOT!"

Snape: (shrieks) "Holy, Mother of a Monkey!"

Harry: (having convulsions) "I-NYAAA- had a monkey-NYAAWAA-"(Would you quit it, Ginny?) "S-NYAA- She
died! NYAaaa...My poor Edward!"(jolts violently)

Ginny: (shrieking madly) "Damn you, Harry Potter! You impudent, pathological liar!" (starts crying)

Harry: (limbs jerking) "Uh...Ginny?" (face falls) "I- NYAA don't know who you've-NYAAaa- been talking to,
but I assure you I'm not impotent!"

[The owls have broken through]

Harry: (opens arms wide as he sees Hedwig coming toward him) "Hedwig! Come here girl!"(smiles idiotically)

Hedwig: (pecks Harry furiously) "HOOT! HOOOOOOT!"

Harry:(embarrased) "Oops, forgot about the whole Owls-Gone-Mad thingy."(Ginny abrubtly uses the Cruciatus
Curse on Harry again)

Ginny: (eyes flashing)"Think twice before acting stupid again, boy!"(looks at the owls) "COME AND STRIKE!
I DARE you!"(laughs, cries, and thrusts both hand in the air)

[Ginny is carried away by the owls]

Harry: "Yaayyyy!"

Ginny: (voice echoing) "I AM NOT DEFEATED......"

Dumbledore: (whimpering) "Who will save us?"

[The glass door is flung open, revealing a disheveled Hermione]

Hermione: (flapping arms wildly) "CAWWWW!!!! HO-oooOt!"

Harry: (a dramatic gasp) "Oh my! She is mad!" (faints)

Draco: (catches Harry) "Do not despair, young sorcerer."(grins chivalrously)

Harry: (hand to his heart) "Ah me! Dracy!" (swoons again)

[Ron enters, pouting and looking extremely disapointed and annoyed]

Harry: (straightening himself up) "What happened to Hermione, Ron"

Ron: (looking like a child deprived of candy) "Well, we were..erm-*hiding* in Filch's closet, when she suddenly
perked up-hit my nose, she did- and screamed; "The OWLS! They KNOW ALL! REVOLUCION!"(scratches head) "At first, I thought she meant O.W.L.'s."(sighs depressivlely) "Then she hightailed out of the closet."

Hermione: (jumping from table to table) "CAWWW!! CA-AWWWW!"

Owls: (gathering round her) "CAW! HOOT Ho-oooooooT!"

Hermione: "Caw Caw, Ho-oOT!"

Owls: "Caw Caw, Ho-oOT!"

Hermione: (screaming with full joy) "CAW CAW, HOOOO-OOT!"

All: (quizzical)

Ron: "I reckon she's their leader."(shrugs) "It must be her hair, It does resemble a large barn owl."

Harry: (elated) "Then she will tell them to leave us alone!"

[After hearing Hermione's most recent command, the owls swoop down, clawing students more ferociously]

Harry: "Hmm...maybe not."

[The owls lift people in the air]

Harry: (delighted) "Oh! That looks like fun!"(he is also carried away)

[Hermione is perched upon several owls, her brows twitching, an epilectic smile on her face]

Hermione: (choppily) "The OWLS! WE HAVE WON! REVOLUCION!" (followed by a series of hoots)

Owls: (hoot happily, carrying their captives over an ocean)

Harry: (looks closely at his owl) "Hmm....this must be our stop."

[Everyone is dropped]

Harry: (crows with satisfaction) "I was RIGHT!"

Ron: (wearily) "Oh wells, what now?"

Harry: (mischieviously) "Ron, ya know what this reminds me of....(clears throat, beginning innocently) "Why, do Kamikaze pilots - wears helmets?" (doubles up in laughter)

Ginny: (from some where beyond) "CRUCIO!"

Harry: "Nyaaaaaa!"

END

A/N: Er...I know, much strangness. I have gone off the deepend, or should I say moreso? (weeps) Please lie
to me when you review, I don't wish to be flamed. (weeps more)

Disclaimer: I guess this is sort of a parody of The Birds. I haven't seen the movie, but
I realized that this idea and some parts are like it, from what I've heard. In which case, I don't own that
disturbing movie by Alfred Hitchhock, or Harry Potter.