Hello!

This is our first co-written fic together, and we hope you enjoy it! For all those of you who read Ginny Ha-ha's co-written fic with bunny chan ['Even Angels Make Mistakes!'], this is almost completely different, but still has some of the humour in it [it isn't meant to be as funny, before you ask...]

This is an MWPP [kind of] L/ J fic! We own Fleureat [pronounced 'Fleury-att'] Stonesfield, January [the character, not the month], Sam and Lara. JK Rowling owns everyone else.

This has been slightly modified since it was posted, but nothing drastic, mostly just the author info and spelling.

Please read & review!

Ginny Ha-ha and duva

Conspiracy Theory
Chapter One: Potter, you cretin!
By Ginny Ha-ha and duva

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"I can't believe they made an immature little cretin like you a prefect!" a furious Lily Evans screeched across the common room, accusing green eyes narrowed at James Potter.

"Don't blame me! You think I want to be a prefect? You think I want to have to put up with you? Not bloody likely!"

"Don't swear at me!"

"I swear at whoever I bloody well like!" James yelled back, glaring just as fiercely, if not more so.

"That just shows what an obnoxious little pig you are!"

"Excuse me? I'm an obnoxious pig? Hah, look who's talking! You fekkin' freak!"

"Shut up! You are the most immature little creep I have ever met! Honestly!"

James's brows wrinkled in mock confusion. "You mean you haven't met Sirius?"

"Oyyy, I resent that!" came the sound of Sirius's voice, drifting across the room.

"That's so not funny, cretin!"

"No, you're right; it's hilarious!" James replied, grinning at her.

"Shut up!"

"No!"

"Oh, I absolutely give up with you, you total geek!" Lily screamed at him, throwing her hands into the air in annoyance. She turned on her heel and stormed out of the common room, followed closely by her friend, Fleureat Stonesfield.

Fleureat was tall and lanky, with blonde hair bound back, bright eyes, and a knowing grin. She wore this grin as she followed Lily.

"Having a little lover's tiff?"

"Shut up!"

"You know you love him really!"

"Shut up! Let me alone!" Lily stamped up the stairs.

"Wow," Fleureat said to herself. "Someone's being touchy!"

~*~*~

Lily sat on her bed, trying to calm down. She hadn't meant to explode like that, she really hadn't. She just hadn't been able to contain herself. She had been so proud of being named a prefect... and then James had struttered in, prefect badge gleaming on his chest. Looking even more full of himself than he usually did, which Lily had always thought impossible.

It just wasn't fair, Lily decided. She had worked hard for this! For the past four years she had tried to be on top of everything, all because she wanted that badge. And James... He didn't have to work hard to be the best. Lily was pretty sure he snuck down to the kitchens every night, because there were always crumbs in their dormitory. He didn't follow the rules. What was the point of a prefect who didn't follow rules?

Whoever had made him a prefect must have been really desperate, Lily thought, knowing in the back of her mind that it wasn't really true. James was a good student, she had to admit it, although grudgingly. Heck, he was a great student. And he wasn't really that obnoxious either... just to her.

Lily closed her eyes tightly. Don't go there, girl, she told herself. But it was too late, and Lily was once again wondering why James Potter hated her so much. It wasn't like she'd ever done anything to him...

'Well', her mind said to her, 'you've told him on several occasions how much you hate him... that might have something to do with it...'

'But I don't really hate him!' another part of Lily's mind chipped in. 'If I did... well, I wouldn't be thinking like this now.'

'So you like him, then', the first part said.

'No, I don't!' the second part shot back. 'I don't, I don't, I really don't!' She thumped her pillow angrily.

Still, she knew she was lying. Somewhere deep inside, she did like James Potter. And it hurt that he hated her. It hurt a lot.

"STOP IT!" Lily yelled at both these parts of her mind. "It doesn't hurt. James can't hurt me." She swallowed the lump in her throat and whispered a promise to herself.

"No guy will ever be able to hurt me again... no matter what the cost is."

She pulled herself to her feet, and left the dormitory.

~*~*~

"I can't stand that girl!" James Potter announced in the privacy of his dormitory later that night. Sirius looked up from his packet of chocolate frogs.

"Which one?"

"That bigheaded Lily Evans!"

"Oh, her." Sirius shrugged dismissively.

"Yes, her! She drives me mental!"

"You're not kidding. I thought you were going to whack her one!" Peter put in.

"It was very tempting," James assured his friend, with perfect truth, "but I decided it wouldn't be, er, nice."

"You mean," Peter grinned at him, "you noticed the length of her nails."

"Well... yeah. I didn't fancy being skinned alive, for some reason."

"Good policy," Remus nodded. "Trust me, shedding your skin isn't much fun."

"Makes sense."

"Mmhhhmm. Mmmm MmmMmh Mhhmm," said Sirius, with his mouth full.

"And that's the most sense you've made in ages, Sirius," James grinned at him.

Sirius swallowed his mouthful of chocolate. "Oy, shaddup! You're hardly one to talk!" He imitated Lily's tone of voice,

"Potter, you cretin, you total creep, you immature little idiot, what is your problem?!?!"

"That's just plain scary how lifelike you sound!"

"I'll take that as a compliment," Sirius smiled.

"You do that," James replied, rolling his eyes.

They lapsed into silence. James was still in a state of mild annoyance after his recent argument with Lily. He couldn't stand her. And why did she always seem to pick on him? What had he done? OK, so he was a prefect. Was that his fault? No! Did he want to be a prefect? No! Huh, girls. Who could figure them out? No one! Well, possibly other girls.

With a sigh, James turned over and fell asleep.

~*~*~

Fleureat walked into the Gryffindor 5th year girls' dormitory and looked around in surprise.

"Where's Lily?" she asked a short brunette who was lying on the floor, reading what looked like a muggle magazine.

"Gone for a swim," the girl on the floor answered her.

"A swim? January, you're not making any sense. Again." Fleureat stared at January with a questioning look on her face.

"She went to the prefects' bathroom," came the voice of yet another girl, a skinny one with light brown hair.

"Told you she went for a swim," January smiled at Fleureat. She looked at the other girl and added, "It's just like you to spoil all the fun, Sam. It would have been interesting to see how long Fleurie'd have to think before she'd actually figured it out!"

Sam stuck out her tongue at January. Fleureat eyed them both and sighed.

"Isn't she supposed to be in bed by now?" January suddenly asked. She looked at her watch. "Nah. Half an hour until lights out. God, I'm tired." She exclaimed the last part by yawning so wide Fleureat was sure she'd been able to see the fillings in her teeth if she'd actually looked.

However, Fleureat was busy with a though that had just entered her mind.

"Did you see the way Lily exploded at James earlier?" she asked the other two, well knowing the answer.

"Did I ever!" January said excitedly. "What the heck was that about? She looked like she was gonna go for his neck or something!"

Fleureat smiled to herself.

"Lily's deeply in love with him," she said sweetly.

"WHAT?" Sam and January screamed in unison.

"No way, Fleureat," Sam said, raising her eyebrows.

"Sorry to break this to you, but she hates his guts - with a passion," January added cheerfully.

"She doesn't," Fleureat said happily. "She likes him. She just doesn't know it herself yet. I, however, have come up with a plan..."

The others looked at each other in slight panic. They knew how Fleureat's plans usually ended: In complete and utter disaster.

"Are you gonna tell us, oh mighty one?" January asked dryly.

"Nope," Fleureat smiled. "We need to talk to a few certain people first."

"Sirius?" Sam guessed.

"And Peter and Remus," Fleureat added. "We'll do it first thing tomorrow morning."

"Isn't tomorrow morning the day of Quidditch tryouts?" January said while chewing on her hair.

"Yeah... so?"

"Well, you know, Sirius is on the team. He might be a little busy. How are you gonna get him to talk to you?" January asked.

"No problem," Fleureat said. "I'll just smile at him, and he'll be so absolutely baffled with my beauty he'll do whatever I want him to." She tossed her fair hair and winked at them.

Sam and January shared a knowing look and could barely stop themselves from laughing out loud. It was a good thing they did, however, as Lily choose that moment to enter, her long hair wet and dripping onto the floor. She looked at her three friends, all sitting close to each other on the floor, looking up to no good at all.

"What are you doing?" she asked suspiciously.

January burst out laughing and Fleureat smiled sweetly at Lily. Sam sighed to herself.

"Jan's gone bonkers, and we're trying to help her regain sanity. It's as easy as that. Or rather," she paused, "not all that easy, all things considered."

Lily didn't believe that for a moment, but she was too tired to argue with Fleureat, who was quite possibly the most stubborn person who'd ever gone to Hogwarts.

"Whatever, Fleurie," she sighed. "I'm going to sleep." She disappeared behind the curtains of her bed.

"Tomorrow morning," Fleureat mouthed at Sam and January.

~*~*~

"They'd better pick me for the team again this year." Sirius was busy buffing up the handle of his broomstick, trying to make it look its best, with arguable success.

"Probably will," James agreed, "after that defeat against Hufflepuff."

"Pity that Lara had to spoil it by falling off her broom." Lara was another member of the Gryffindor team; a Chaser. James and Sirius had both been members for the last two years, playing as Beaters. Peter refused point blank to go anywhere near a broomstick, since last time he'd tried, he'd collided heavily with a castle wall. Remus didn't want to join the team, because of practices that were sometimes in the evening and at night, and dangerous, which was fair enough, really.

James glanced up, "Oh, will you look who it is. Glenda, the Good Fairy and her faithful munchkins."

Fleureat caught James's words, and beamed at them.

January scowled. "Who're you calling a munchkin, Potter?"

Fleureat ignored her.

"Oh, goodie. Sorry, but fairy godmothers are outdated, and as for munchkins... let's not even go there." Sirius continued working industriously on his broom.

"Shut up and listen. Sirius, I don't suppose we could have a little chat? You know... privately?" She looked pointedly at James.

The two boys exchanged glances.

"I know your sort. Where are you hiding your knuckledusters, then?" Sirius asked in a suspicious voice.

"Look, all we want to do is talk." Fleureat's face wore an entirely innocent smile. "Please, Sirius? Pretty please...?" She put on her puppy-dog eyes. Sirius sighed.

"Fine. James, bugger off for a moment would you?"

"OK. See you."

"Cheers."

James got to his feet and left, leaving the three girls and Sirius.

"So, what do you want to talk to a devastatingly handsome chap like me for?"

Sam snorted, and January rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, we think you're gorgeous," she lied fluently, "but Fleurie has something to ask of you. We don't know what it is, so put us all out of our misery and for God's sake listen!"

"Ok... I'll listen, so talk." Sirius was aware of James, not to mention other team hopefuls, watching his discourse with the three girls.

"Well, you know Lily Evans?"

"Who doesn't?"

"Well, quite. Anyway, she absolutely adores James!"

"Er... well, that's one unique way of reading the situation..."

"Really. She does. She's totally in love and besotted by him... she just doesn't know it yet!"

"Ah." Sirius was looking at her like she was completely bonkers.

"Fleurie knows these things," said January, by way of an explanation.

"So," Fleureat lowered her voice conspiratorially, "we feel, you know, a bit sorry for her. Unrequited love and all... that's the worst kind." She sighed dramatically. "I have an idea. A plan."

"Sure ya do. You do that plan, and good luck to you." Sirius made as if to go, but Fleureat caught him by the arm.

"No, really. Listen. You wouldn't like Lily to suffer, would you?"

"Well, I--"

"Exactly my point." Fleureat didn't allow time for Sirius to answer. "So, this is what we'll do... January, Sam and I will stage a conversation for Lily to 'accidentally' overhear, about how James is secretly in love with her, right?"

"You really are completely..." Sirius began, but was interrupted again. There was something horribly unstoppable about Fleureat Stonesfield.

"Shut up and listen. Anyway, on hearing that James has feelings for her, Lily will begin to realise her true feelings for him, right?"

"Um..."

"So then what happens is you and all your weirdy little friends stage a conversation for James, again, for him to 'accidentally' hear, about how much Lily likes him. Of course, he'll..."

"No way, I don't want to be responsible for his suicide!"

"Did I ask your opinion? I haven't finished yet!"

"There's more?"

"Not much."

"Bollards there is!"

"Whatever! ... Well, James will realise how much that he really likes Lily, deep down."

"Very, very deep down," said January.

"Yes, well, I never said there weren't flaws," continued Fleureat, unabashed. "Anyway, that's the basic plan."

The other three stared at her.

"So, let me get this right," said Sirius, after a long moment. "You want me and Peter and Remus to make a conversation for James to overhear, saying that the girl he hates most, and who loathes him, is actually in love with him? And this is supposed to make him love her, even though he hates her guts?"

"When you put it like that you make it sound so negative ..."

"... and whilst he's doing that, we do the same to Lily?" Sam blinked unsurely.

"Well, yes."

"Sounds like fun!" January grinned, "I'm game. How about you two?"

"Er... all right." Sam conceded, "But I don't think it'll work."

"Well..." Sirius paused to think for a moment, "Why not? It's crazy, but it might be interesting. Sure."

"Great! Try to get the thing done tomorrow night sometime, right?"

"All right. Well... see you."

"See you."

~*~*~

... and so they parted ways. The plot was formed. But would it work...?

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Please take time to read and review, as this *is* our first co-written fic...

Thank you!

Ginny Ha-ha and duva (who made the changes, so if something's wrong, she's the one to blame ;-))