"What If? Epilogue"
This is the final part! No more sequels! And I mean it! LOL… Okay, in this FINAL chapter is a songfic about Shane and the "group". It's a mix of all songs… There will be a different song for each person. WARNING: If you don't like to laugh, don't read!
Disclaimer: These wrestlers own themselves. Vince McMahon owns the WWF. "Just Got Paid" belongs to NSYNC, "I am Just a Girl" belongs to No Doubt, and "What's My Age Again?" belongs to Blink182.
*
"Twenty… Forty… Sixty… Eighty…" Shane peeled the dollar bills carefully, not missing a spot. "What the hell are you doing?" Chris asked, playing with Trish's hair. Shane finally put the money back into his pocket. "I just got paid, alright?"
"Money, money, money," Trish sighed, shaking her hair out. The ponytail Chris just gave her was not at all appealing. Shane nodded. "Yes, I like the green…What the hell is he doing?" Shane pointed to Chris.
"My immature boyfriend is just figuring out to play paddleball." Chris held the toy and bounced it up and down. "He doesn't even act his age!" Shane exclaimed. Chris looked up from his toy and grinned. "What's my age again?"
Trish sighed. "He can't even take me out on a proper date. We start to kiss and he wants to check out the movie channel in mid make out section." Chris went back to his paddleball. Shane looked sympathetically at Trish. And then Chris broke into song:
I took her out,
It was a Friday night.
I wore cologne
To get the feeling right.
We started making out
And she took off my pants
But then I turned on the TV
And that's about the time she walked away from me.
Nobody likes you when you're twenty- three.
"Excuse me," Trish snapped. "You were not twenty-three! You were twenty-eight!" Chris rolled his eyes. "Whatever!" And then he broke into song again.
And you're still amused by TV shows
What the hell is ADD?
My friends say I should act my age
"And so does your girlfriend."
What's my age again?
What's my age again?
Then later on,
On the drive home,
I called her mom from a payphone.
I said I was the cops
And your husband's in jail.
The state looks down on sodomy.
"That was you?" Trish screamed at Chris. Shane tried to controlled his laughter.
And that's about the time the bitch hung up on me.
"MY MOM IS NOT A BITCH!" Trish yelled.
What the hell is Caller ID?
My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?
"There," Chris finished, panting. "There's more," Shane reminded him. Chris held his chest. "I can't breathe." Trish sighed. "I always knew you didn't act your age,"
*
"A man and his money," Shane cooed, stroking his dollar bills. "A love story." Trish burst into laughter. "A love story with your money… Now that's… Sad." Chris grinned. "Yeah, dude, you're acting like on of the NSYNC guys." Shane grinned. "They got one of my songs, too!"
Trish gasped. "No… No! Not 'Just Got Paid…'" Chris howled and covered his ears. "My poor ears! My poor ears!" Shane rubbed his hands together. "Give it up, for Just Got Paid!" He switched on the radio.
Thank god it's Friday night
And I just… Just… Just… GOT PAID!
Money, money, money, money…
Yeah, oh, oh, oh-oh
Just got paid
Friday night
Party hopping
Feeling right
Booty shaking
All around
Pump that jam
While I am getting down
Check the mirror, looking fly
Round up the posse
"THAT'S US!" Trish and Chris chirped in unison. "Oh, right, I should be covering my ears…" Chris remembered.
Jump in my ride
Radio rocking
Hottest jams
Feel the rhythm
Pump up the sound
Feeling so good
Don't you know?
I'm just grooving to the beat
Grooving (yeah)
Grooving (oh, oh, oh, oh)
Just got paid
Friday night
Party hopping
Feeling right
Booty shaking
All around
Pump that Jam
When I'm getting down
People say my Stelo is impossible
When I get up at the mike, yo, I am unstoppable
And it's probable, when you got voices laid down
You'll be bopping your head to this ill tight sound.
"Well, the song is making me ill," Trish said. Shane sighed. "All right, I'll turn it off."
*
"You always go 'EW!' or something when you see something gross, Trish." Chris commented. Trish grinned. "I am just a girl. Just 'lil ol me." Trish pulled a portable CD player out. She slipped it on Chris' ears. "Listen," She whispered.
Take this pink ribbon off my eyes
I'm exposed
And it's no big surprise
Don't you think I know
Exactly where I stand
This world is forcing me
To hold your hand
'Cause I am just a girl
Little ol me
Don't let me out of your sight!
I'm just a girl, pretty and petite
So don't let me have any rights!
Oh… I've had it up to here.
The moment that I step outside
So many reasons
For me to run and hide
I can't do the little things
I hold so dear
'Cause it's all those little things that I fear
Cause I am just a girl,
I'd rather not be
Cause they won't let me drive
Late at night
I'm just a girl
Guess I am some kind of freak
Cuz they all sit and stare with their eyes!
I'm just a girl
Take a good look at me.
Just your typical prototype
Oh… I've had it up to here!
Oh… Do I make myself clear?
Trish ripped the headphones off. "Well?" She asked sweetly. Chris nodded. "I know… You're just a girl, I don't know my age, and Shane has a thing for… Money."