Joyce:
The day is perfect – the sky a deep azure, unbroken by
cloud, the sun's light sparkling in its reflection off the surface of the sea.
Tiny waves break their white crests against the sand and a fresh wind blows, gently
ruffling Buffy's hair. She looks so beautiful. I've never realised quite how
beautiful until today, until every inch of her seems to shine with happiness
and her face is set in a perpetual smile. But then she's been like that a lot
recently. And the difference is phenomenal.
I always thought my daughter was pretty happy with her
life. She laughed and she joked and she faced everything with good humour, but
now it startles me to realise how much of that was an act on her behalf. She'll
tell me with a wistful look in her eye about the times when she thought she
couldn't cope anymore, didn't want to cope with all the things thrown at her.
When she just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, wanted to be held tightly
and have somebody else sort out the world's problems instead. But then she'll
laugh away her former distress and her eyes will dance instead. She'll squeeze
my hand tightly and say that she never knew how much she'd lost until she got
it back, and I'll know exactly what she means.
I never knew how lonely Buffy was until she found the
love she always wanted. And now to hear her speak about it, to listen to her
voice those feelings in front of all her friends and family, makes me certain
that she will never be lonely again.
"Since I was fifteen," Buffy says strongly and clearly,
showing no signs of uncertainty. "I've been a warrior. I learnt to fight, but I
learnt there are some things you can't fight either. Like destiny. Like love."
She reaches out to take Angel's hand, squeezing it tightly
as the couple share a private smile. Mr Giles standing beside me removes his
glasses, taking out a handkerchief to polish them with, an obvious mask to
cover up the emotion of the moment.
I tap him lightly on the arm, talking in a whisper so as
not to disturb the gentle peace hanging over the ceremony. "Are you as proud of
her as I am?"
He returns his glasses to his face, looking mistily over
at Buffy stood by the water's edge, the long, white silk dress swirling
gracefully about her ankles, her hair hanging loose over her shoulders. "Quite
possibly even more so," he answers in a murmur.
"I realised that when you love someone – truly, deeply
love them with every inch of your soul – then there's nothing you can do to
change that," Buffy continues. "You just have to trust in those feelings, let
them carry you through the tough times and have faith that there is a happy
ending in sight. We've hurt and we've doubted and we've been through Hell – "
"Some of us literally," Angel interrupts with a wry grin,
eliciting a small chuckle from the gathered group, including Buffy. From the
whole truth she finally told me about her and Angel's past history, I know how
painful a simple reference to that incident would have been to both of them, up
until only a few months ago. But now they can make jokes about it, a testament
to exactly how many old wounds they have healed since their reunion.
"But," Buffy's voice cracks a little now, tears of joy
shining in her eyes. "I wouldn't change a single second of it, because it all
brought me to this moment now. And I can honestly say, I've never been happier
in my entire life. I love you, Angel," she locks her gaze with his, oblivious
to everything else around her. "And I would be honoured to become your wife."
She holds out her hand to him, for Angel to slip the ring
onto its fourth finger. He does so and brings her hand up to his lips, kissing
the thin band of gold reverently. Then he takes his turn to speak.
"I've never been very good at expressing my emotions, as
some of you here know better than others," he smiles briefly out into the
crowd. "But that doesn't mean I've ever been any less sure of them. I've loved
you ever since I first saw you," he turns back to Buffy. "And every day I think
it impossible to love you any more than I already do, and every day I am proved
wrong. You've given me so much – hope, happiness, sunlight, life – when I
deserved none of it."
Buffy shakes her head adamantly at this, but says
nothing.
"And I wanted to thank you for that today," Angel carries
on. "For your love, for your trust, for your forgiveness and for your loyalty.
My heart has been yours from the very beginning, but I pledge it to you once
more – for now and always. I would be honoured to become your husband."
Buffy slides a matching ring on to his finger, bending
also to kiss it. They separate and Willow, who is performing the Wiccan
ceremony for them, reaches over to bring their hands together, covering their
entwined fingers with her palms.
"I now bless the union of your souls for eternity," she
announces with a smile. Leaning over to kiss both Buffy and Angel briefly on
the cheek, she then removes her hands and steps away.
"Blessed be," she calls out and the phrase is echoed by
the congregation.
"And now, uh," she giggles slightly, giving away a little
of her nervousness. "You may kiss the bride."
Angel complies, cupping Buffy's face in his hands and
lightly brushing her lips with his. She draws closer to him, wrapping her arms
around his waist and making the kiss more passionate to the tune of loud
applause and wolf whistles from the wedding guests.
I surprise myself by cheering along as loudly as the rest
of them. It's strange, I never thought I would come to approve of Buffy's
relationship with Angel, but now I can't imagine her being made happy by anyone
else. It did take a lot of getting used to, however. A lot of arguments and
tears until I could finally learn to see as much good in Angel as my daughter
does.
I remember when it first became clear they were a couple
again. I'd had a phone call from the hospital telling me that Buffy was
severely injured. I rushed in to see her, desperate to comfort my little girl,
only to find Angel sitting in the hospital room with her, holding her hand.
Worried and upset I yelled at him to leave, to go far away from Buffy before he
hurt her anymore. But Buffy just looked up determinedly and said in a soft,
calm voice. "He's staying, Mom – he's staying forever this time."
Later, when she was better and discharged from the
hospital, she explained how Angel had turned human in the battle they fought to
close the Hellmouth. She told me that now she wouldn't be needed as much as the
Slayer. There were a few more vampires left and a couple of demons to fight,
but essentially Sunnydale was now just any other town and she was just any
other girl. She and Angel were both released from their duties and they
intended to make the most of the time they were given together. She loved him,
she always had loved him and she would never stop.
Of course, I didn't accept it at the time. I told her she
was a fool to trust this man – human or not – who had hurt her so many times
before. I ordered her not to see him, said I would not have her together with
him under my roof. So, she left. They moved out together and with typical Buffy
stubbornness, she refused to see me. Then something horrible happened. My
illness got worse. I collapsed – something about a blood clot on the brain –
and had to be rushed into hospital for emergency surgery. Buffy hurried to my
side, all tears and regrets for the conflict between us. It was a difficult
time, but we got through it – mostly thanks to Angel.
He seemed to hold everything together for us. He spoke to
the doctors about my treatment schedules and medications, he looked after Buffy
and Dawn, made sure they ate properly and stayed in school. And he comforted
them when things were at their hardest. I remember one evening when the side
effects from chemotherapy drugs I was taking kept me awake at night, I walked
into the lounge and they were all there – Dawn, Buffy and Angel, curled up
together in a heap on the sofa, Angel with an arm around each of my girls, just
reading to them. After his voice lulled them into sleep, we talked properly for
perhaps the first time ever.
He spoke to me about the past, history that he'd lived
and I'd only read about in books. We discussed art, a subject he is
surprisingly (or perhaps not so surprisingly) well informed about. I didn't
take me long to be fascinated by the tales he told – of meeting the Grand Masters,
of attending balls in Paris and concerts in Rome, of the expensive hotels and
the high society. But the more stories I heard, the more details I noticed were
missed out and the more pain I sensed in his remembering them. I turned the
conversation to Buffy and his face lit up immediately, conveying more than a
stream of earnest words ever could.
At the sound of her name, my daughter stirred. Awakened
from her dozing, her eyelashes fluttered slightly yet she refused to change
position, staying snuggled up against Angel's side, only the altered rhythm of
her breathing to give away her consciousness. Realising her intention to
overhear our conversation, Angel got a wicked glint in his eye. Teasingly he
proceeded to berate Buffy mercilessly, citing everything from her secret soap
opera addiction to her utterly hopeless cookery skills, until she was rendered
angry enough to abandon her charade of sleep and leap up to yell at him. To her
absolute surprise he just laughed down her ire, his broad smile and low chuckle
soon becoming infectious as Buffy caught on to the joke.
"You knew I was listening, didn't you?" She accused,
hitting him lightly on the shoulder.
He nodded sheepishly. "Sorry, I just couldn't resist the
opportunity."
At this interruption, Dawn also woke up, glancing around
drowsily. "What happened?"
Angel ruffled her hair. "You fell asleep, honey."
Dawn yawned and snuggled back down into his side. "Read another
story will you, Angel?"
He obliged willingly, picking up the fallen book again
and allowing his soft voice to carry us past the early hours of the morning and
into the next day. After that night, I never criticised Buffy for her choice
again and as I continued to recover from my illness Angel became more and more
a part of our family. So, it's only fitting that today he and Buffy have made
their relationship as official as it can be.
"Okay, guys!" Xander Harris calls out to Buffy and Angel,
who still haven't got past the kissing part of the ceremony yet. "Please don't
make me throw water over you two."
Buffy pulls away from Angel, her smile easily belying her
angry demeanour. "You dare and I'll break your neck. I'm still the Slayer you
know."
"And I may be human now," Angel adds. "But I think I can
still remember a few moves."
Xander backs away from the pair. "Whoa, truce. You better
fire up the barbeque, Wes, before I lose a limb to happy couple here."
Wesley heads over to rusted old contraption Giles managed
to dig out of his back yard. Buffy insisted on making the event as informal as
possible, hence the ceremony and ensuing party conducted on the beach. Somebody
else turns on a stereo, blasting upbeat music out loudly.
"Hey, she hasn't thrown the bouquet yet!" Cordelia
protests, insisting upon forcing Buffy to toss her bunch of perfect pale pink
rose buds over her shoulder and into the crowd of gathered females. Anya leaps
up and grabs them straight out of the path of Cordelia's grasping hands,
drawing a cry of irritation from the other girl.
"I caught the flowers!" Xander's odd girlfriend announces
triumphantly. "According to your strange human traditions this means I'm the
next to be married, correct?"
Xander turns a strange shade of white and mutters
something incoherent, hurrying off to help Wesley with the cooking, donning an
apron bought especially for the purpose proclaiming 'Real Men BBQ'.
"Would you, er, like to dance at all?" Giles enquires
politely of me as the rest of the group begin to move in time to the music.
I smile gratefully at his offer. "Thank you, no. I think
I'd rather sit this one out."
"Very well," Giles replies gracefully, until Willow grabs
his hand.
"You can dance with us, Giles," she proclaims
enthusiastically, dragging him over to form a little group with her, Tara and
Dawn.
Laughing softly to myself at Giles' attempts to dance, I
walk slowly over to where Buffy and Angel are quietly surveying the
celebrations.
"Discussing anything interesting? Or shouldn't I ask?" I
say, raising my eyebrows ever so slightly.
"Mom!" Buffy colours and turns away. I allow myself to be
inwardly amused – my daughter may be a grown up, married woman now, but at least
I still have the ability to embarrass her; that's never going to change.
"We were just saying how much things have altered in such
a short time," Angel clarifies.
I nod in agreement. "How long has it been now? Nine
months?"
"Ten months, six days and thirteen hours," Buffy corrects
me automatically.
"So, you think about it a lot then?" I ask jokingly.
Buffy smiles ruefully. "Mostly, I wonder whether I could
have changed anything."
Angel lays a hand on her arm. "Buffy – we've talked about
this – there was nothing else you could have done."
She nods. "I know. I just can't help thinking that it
wasn't fair, Gunn and Riley shouldn't have died like that."
"You can't save everybody," Angel says softly to Buffy,
wrapping his arms around her waist.
"Speaking of which," Wesley approaches, joining our
conversation. "Does anybody know what happened to Spike?"
There are head shakes all around. "There was a rumour he
went back to England," Angel finally answers. "Something about an upset with
Dru and Darla. I'm sure we haven't heard the last of him, though."
"No," Buffy replies grimly. "We're not that lucky."
There is an awkward silence, which I attempt to alleviate
with a subject change. "Well, what are you two going to do now that you're
married?"
Angel exchanges a look with Buffy, leaning down to press a
kiss to the top of her forehead. When he looks back up at me to give his answer
he is smiling.
"Live."
A/N ~ Wow, it's finally finished! I hope everybody enjoyed
reading. Thanks to all my reviewers for the great feedback and encouragement,
especially to those who reviewed after every update – it really helped with my
motivation! Also thank you to Molly, without whose nagging for me to write
fluff you would not have ended up with a happy ending.
A/N 2 ~ Now listen carefully in the silence of the darkest
part of the night and you may still be able to hear Riley's agonised screams
echoing off the walls of Hell… Mwhahahahahaha!!