RanGen 1/2, Part 1
After seeing the excellent alternate history stories of Elseworld
and the Altered Destinies series, I was tempted to write one of my own.
This alternate history could arise from an alternate wish. What if
Shampoo had said, instead of "Shampoo wish Mousse was not in love with
her," this: "Shampoo wish she had chance to make Ranma fall in love
with her before he met Akane!"?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A young man, his father, and a Chinese guide walked through the rugged
hills near the white sacred mountain.
"I'm sooo hungry!" the young man, Ranma, complained.
"Me tooo!" growled the older man, Genma.
"Now Mr. Customers, we come to Joketsuzoku," said the impassive guide.
As usual, he produced from nowhere a hand-lettered sign with the Chinese
name 'Joketsuzoku'.
"Joketsuzoku? Is that somethin' to eat?" asked the younger one.
"Is village of warrior womans. Today they have big tournament, much
interesting."
"Right now, I'm only interested in food," said Ranma.
"Stop complaining, boy," said Genma. "A true martial artist can tough
it out. At least we were able to duck into that cave and keep out of
the cloudburst this morning. We have a better chance of getting
something to eat than if we went in as a girl and a panda."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Shampoo faced her final challenger of the day on the combat log
suspended several feet from the ground by chains. It was a test of
balance and the ability to keep one's feet when the lunges and blows
of the two fighters set it swaying.
Her opponent was Dowel, a tough-looking woman of 40 carrying a long
spear with a spiked mace at the end, but Shampoo was confident of
victory, knowing she had the edge in speed and even in raw strength.
She dodged Dowel's initial blows, leapt over her head, and from behind
dealt Dowel a smashing blow with a bonbori mace that sent her flying
into the hills.
Now for her prize, a special feast to share with whomever she chose.
The other village women would come one by one and bow before her,
begging for a taste. Winning was such fun.
But what was this? Two foreign strangers were sitting at the table
already, wolfing down her prize. In rage, she hurled one of the
bonburi, smashing the table in half.
"You men! Why are you stealing my prize?" she demanded in Chinese.
"'You men! Why you steal my prize?', she say." translated the Guide.
"I have the honor of winning the tournament today. You thieves have
eaten what is mine."
The Guide continued to translate.
"So if I challenge you and win, there's no problem, right?" said the
young man.
"No. This is a tournament for women only. Thieves must be punished
by 50 strokes with a bamboo rod on the hands and feet."
The young man looked understandably upset. "Then I challenge you as
one martial artist to another. If I win, will you drop the changes
and let us have the food?"
Shampoo smiled. The code required a single woman to accept the first
challenge from any male outsider. It was well-understood in the village
what such a challenge implied, but did the foreigner know? "Do you
realize all that is mine will be yours if you should win?"
The Guide, under pressure, translated: "She say, 'Do you know all will
be yours if you win?'"
"All right!" said the young man. His eager, hungry expression went
straight to Shampoo's heart, which began to pound. A courtship
challenge from a handsome young man! A perfect end to a successful day.
As they faced each other on the suspended log, Shampoo experienced a
tug of temptation. Could she possibly give him an opening or two
without being shamed in front of the whole village? He seemed
courageous and confident. His stance was flawless, his balance
excellent. But somehow he seemed reluctant to make an all-out attack
against her. A vagabond thief was not the ideal husband, but the idea
was exciting...
Her hesitation was enough. The young man snapped off a high kick
through a gap in her guard, plunging her headlong off the log. As
she fell, her expression of surprise turned to bliss.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The village cheered as Ranma's arm was lifted in victory. Here came
the defeated champion. It seemed she wasn't a poor loser. She
embraced him and gave him a long, intense kiss.
"Woo da airen!"
"She say, 'My beloved husband'", said the Guide.
"Huh? What?" said Ranma.
"In amazon village, have law that if defeated by outside man, must marry
him. Always marry stronger, make whole tribe stronger. You one lucky
fella, Mr. Customer."
"Bu-but I ain't ready to get m-married. I don't even know her, or
nothin'."
"That's right, and my son and I have urgent business elsewhere," said
Genma.
From deep in the crowd, a long-haired young man with thick spectacles
named Mousse shrieked out his despairing protest.
Shampoo continued to cling to Ranma in a daze of happiness, past
hearing any of this.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
In a series of mighty pogo-stick-like hops, a withered old crone came
leaping over (and sometimes onto) the backs of the crowd. She landed
squarely in front of Ranma.
"Greetings, son-in-law! I am Cologne, and this is my great-
granddaughter Shampoo, your bride."
"I'm Ranma Saotome, and this is my dad, Genma. But this must be some
kinda mistake. I thought I was fighting to win food, not a wife."
"You have won both. Prepare a wedding feast!" she called to the others.
"But I don't want to get married!"
"Heh-heh, sorry, sonny boy. Three thousand years of Chinese Amazon
history say that you must. Is she not beautiful? How could you do
better? Is there an obstacle? A woman in your life already?"
"Uh, no. But we don't get married just like that where I come from.
I don't know her, we don't even speak the same language."
"Shampoo speak Japanese good!" said Shampoo, finally beginning to pay
attention to the conversation.
"That is right. Over the centuries, many martial artists from your
country heard of the fame of Joketsuzoku and came to try to win strong
wives who would bear them strong sons. A few succeeded, like you. The
others..." she drew a finger across her neck. "So, all of us know
Japanese to some degree. And you will soon learn Chinese, living here."
"I'm starting to feel like I can't breathe."
"Oh yes, the typical male desire for freedom. You'll get over it."
"That, and Shampoo's hugging me too hard."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Mousse moved stealthily through the crowd.
"Shampoo to belong to another? Never to be mine? I cannot bear it.
Ranma Saotome, you must die!" he muttered under his breath as he checked
the concealed daggers, chains, and poison darts in his voluminous
sleeves. What weapon to use? Yes, that one. An ignominious weapon for
an ignominious opponent. He would defeat the interloper and win Shampoo
for himself.
He moved closer, carefully trying to avoid the notice of Cologne. This
would have to be settled with one quick strike. He leapt into the air,
intending to smash his enemy's skull with a plastic training potty
shaped like a swan.
Ranma's martial arts training gave him almost a sixth sense. As he
heard the whistling air of the leap and descent of Mousse, he raised
one fist in a preemptive strike, smashing the potty and drenching
himself, his father, and Shampoo in a liquid which was mostly cold
water.
"Stupid Mousse, leave Shampoo and husband alone!" said Shampoo, bashing
Mousse on the head.
Cologne handled the rest. Leaping up with her stick, she sent Mousse
spinning high into the air. When she landed she looked puzzled.
Shampoo was hugging a petite young woman. Standing beside her
was a giant panda.
"What is this? I see you are shape-changers. Tell me, is this your
true form, or is the other? Much depends on your answer, so think
carefully."
Ranma almost opened her mouth to say that the woman's shape was her
true form, but something in the old crone's look told her that would
be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.
"I'm really a guy. I got this stupid curse from falling into a pool
at.."
"Jusenkyo. Yes, I know that place well. In fact, I know how to
get the curse reversed," said Cologne.
"You do? I'd do anything to get this curse taken off!"
"Then you will agree to marry Shampoo."
"Hey, not that much of anything. That's committing my whole life. But
I'll agree to get to know her better, go on dates and stuff. We can see
what happens from there."
"Hai-yah!" exclaimed Shampoo.
"Platonic dates. OK, Shampoo?"
"Uh-huh, uh-huh!", said Shampoo eagerly. She had no idea what he meant
but it sounded like something exciting.
"You must commit to date her for one year, unless of course you decide
to get married before that."
"One week."
"Six months."
"One month, that's my best offer. And you have to completely take the
curse off both of us, for good. Not some trick or illusion. Agreed?"
"Agreed," Then she added in rapid Chinese, "Shampoo, I'm sure you can
seduce him in a month. He seems to be a man of honor. Once that
happens, he'll feel committed to marry you."
Then to the Guide, "Your services are no longer required. My great-
granddaughter will conduct them to Jusenkyo herself, so that they will
owe their cure to her alone."
After seeing the excellent alternate history stories of Elseworld
and the Altered Destinies series, I was tempted to write one of my own.
This alternate history could arise from an alternate wish. What if
Shampoo had said, instead of "Shampoo wish Mousse was not in love with
her," this: "Shampoo wish she had chance to make Ranma fall in love
with her before he met Akane!"?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A young man, his father, and a Chinese guide walked through the rugged
hills near the white sacred mountain.
"I'm sooo hungry!" the young man, Ranma, complained.
"Me tooo!" growled the older man, Genma.
"Now Mr. Customers, we come to Joketsuzoku," said the impassive guide.
As usual, he produced from nowhere a hand-lettered sign with the Chinese
name 'Joketsuzoku'.
"Joketsuzoku? Is that somethin' to eat?" asked the younger one.
"Is village of warrior womans. Today they have big tournament, much
interesting."
"Right now, I'm only interested in food," said Ranma.
"Stop complaining, boy," said Genma. "A true martial artist can tough
it out. At least we were able to duck into that cave and keep out of
the cloudburst this morning. We have a better chance of getting
something to eat than if we went in as a girl and a panda."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Shampoo faced her final challenger of the day on the combat log
suspended several feet from the ground by chains. It was a test of
balance and the ability to keep one's feet when the lunges and blows
of the two fighters set it swaying.
Her opponent was Dowel, a tough-looking woman of 40 carrying a long
spear with a spiked mace at the end, but Shampoo was confident of
victory, knowing she had the edge in speed and even in raw strength.
She dodged Dowel's initial blows, leapt over her head, and from behind
dealt Dowel a smashing blow with a bonbori mace that sent her flying
into the hills.
Now for her prize, a special feast to share with whomever she chose.
The other village women would come one by one and bow before her,
begging for a taste. Winning was such fun.
But what was this? Two foreign strangers were sitting at the table
already, wolfing down her prize. In rage, she hurled one of the
bonburi, smashing the table in half.
"You men! Why are you stealing my prize?" she demanded in Chinese.
"'You men! Why you steal my prize?', she say." translated the Guide.
"I have the honor of winning the tournament today. You thieves have
eaten what is mine."
The Guide continued to translate.
"So if I challenge you and win, there's no problem, right?" said the
young man.
"No. This is a tournament for women only. Thieves must be punished
by 50 strokes with a bamboo rod on the hands and feet."
The young man looked understandably upset. "Then I challenge you as
one martial artist to another. If I win, will you drop the changes
and let us have the food?"
Shampoo smiled. The code required a single woman to accept the first
challenge from any male outsider. It was well-understood in the village
what such a challenge implied, but did the foreigner know? "Do you
realize all that is mine will be yours if you should win?"
The Guide, under pressure, translated: "She say, 'Do you know all will
be yours if you win?'"
"All right!" said the young man. His eager, hungry expression went
straight to Shampoo's heart, which began to pound. A courtship
challenge from a handsome young man! A perfect end to a successful day.
As they faced each other on the suspended log, Shampoo experienced a
tug of temptation. Could she possibly give him an opening or two
without being shamed in front of the whole village? He seemed
courageous and confident. His stance was flawless, his balance
excellent. But somehow he seemed reluctant to make an all-out attack
against her. A vagabond thief was not the ideal husband, but the idea
was exciting...
Her hesitation was enough. The young man snapped off a high kick
through a gap in her guard, plunging her headlong off the log. As
she fell, her expression of surprise turned to bliss.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
The village cheered as Ranma's arm was lifted in victory. Here came
the defeated champion. It seemed she wasn't a poor loser. She
embraced him and gave him a long, intense kiss.
"Woo da airen!"
"She say, 'My beloved husband'", said the Guide.
"Huh? What?" said Ranma.
"In amazon village, have law that if defeated by outside man, must marry
him. Always marry stronger, make whole tribe stronger. You one lucky
fella, Mr. Customer."
"Bu-but I ain't ready to get m-married. I don't even know her, or
nothin'."
"That's right, and my son and I have urgent business elsewhere," said
Genma.
From deep in the crowd, a long-haired young man with thick spectacles
named Mousse shrieked out his despairing protest.
Shampoo continued to cling to Ranma in a daze of happiness, past
hearing any of this.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
In a series of mighty pogo-stick-like hops, a withered old crone came
leaping over (and sometimes onto) the backs of the crowd. She landed
squarely in front of Ranma.
"Greetings, son-in-law! I am Cologne, and this is my great-
granddaughter Shampoo, your bride."
"I'm Ranma Saotome, and this is my dad, Genma. But this must be some
kinda mistake. I thought I was fighting to win food, not a wife."
"You have won both. Prepare a wedding feast!" she called to the others.
"But I don't want to get married!"
"Heh-heh, sorry, sonny boy. Three thousand years of Chinese Amazon
history say that you must. Is she not beautiful? How could you do
better? Is there an obstacle? A woman in your life already?"
"Uh, no. But we don't get married just like that where I come from.
I don't know her, we don't even speak the same language."
"Shampoo speak Japanese good!" said Shampoo, finally beginning to pay
attention to the conversation.
"That is right. Over the centuries, many martial artists from your
country heard of the fame of Joketsuzoku and came to try to win strong
wives who would bear them strong sons. A few succeeded, like you. The
others..." she drew a finger across her neck. "So, all of us know
Japanese to some degree. And you will soon learn Chinese, living here."
"I'm starting to feel like I can't breathe."
"Oh yes, the typical male desire for freedom. You'll get over it."
"That, and Shampoo's hugging me too hard."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Mousse moved stealthily through the crowd.
"Shampoo to belong to another? Never to be mine? I cannot bear it.
Ranma Saotome, you must die!" he muttered under his breath as he checked
the concealed daggers, chains, and poison darts in his voluminous
sleeves. What weapon to use? Yes, that one. An ignominious weapon for
an ignominious opponent. He would defeat the interloper and win Shampoo
for himself.
He moved closer, carefully trying to avoid the notice of Cologne. This
would have to be settled with one quick strike. He leapt into the air,
intending to smash his enemy's skull with a plastic training potty
shaped like a swan.
Ranma's martial arts training gave him almost a sixth sense. As he
heard the whistling air of the leap and descent of Mousse, he raised
one fist in a preemptive strike, smashing the potty and drenching
himself, his father, and Shampoo in a liquid which was mostly cold
water.
"Stupid Mousse, leave Shampoo and husband alone!" said Shampoo, bashing
Mousse on the head.
Cologne handled the rest. Leaping up with her stick, she sent Mousse
spinning high into the air. When she landed she looked puzzled.
Shampoo was hugging a petite young woman. Standing beside her
was a giant panda.
"What is this? I see you are shape-changers. Tell me, is this your
true form, or is the other? Much depends on your answer, so think
carefully."
Ranma almost opened her mouth to say that the woman's shape was her
true form, but something in the old crone's look told her that would
be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.
"I'm really a guy. I got this stupid curse from falling into a pool
at.."
"Jusenkyo. Yes, I know that place well. In fact, I know how to
get the curse reversed," said Cologne.
"You do? I'd do anything to get this curse taken off!"
"Then you will agree to marry Shampoo."
"Hey, not that much of anything. That's committing my whole life. But
I'll agree to get to know her better, go on dates and stuff. We can see
what happens from there."
"Hai-yah!" exclaimed Shampoo.
"Platonic dates. OK, Shampoo?"
"Uh-huh, uh-huh!", said Shampoo eagerly. She had no idea what he meant
but it sounded like something exciting.
"You must commit to date her for one year, unless of course you decide
to get married before that."
"One week."
"Six months."
"One month, that's my best offer. And you have to completely take the
curse off both of us, for good. Not some trick or illusion. Agreed?"
"Agreed," Then she added in rapid Chinese, "Shampoo, I'm sure you can
seduce him in a month. He seems to be a man of honor. Once that
happens, he'll feel committed to marry you."
Then to the Guide, "Your services are no longer required. My great-
granddaughter will conduct them to Jusenkyo herself, so that they will
owe their cure to her alone."