Sitting Under the Cherry Tree
Prelude: A Boy, a Girl and a Bench Under the Cherry Tree
There is a boy and girl sitting under the cherry tree, both aged 16
"Hello, Recca Hanabishi, my name is Yanagi Sakoshita." The girl proclaimed proudly, smiling at the boy.
As they stared at each other for that split second, somewhere in the girl's subconscious, a voice murmured, "This is the boy I will love forever…"
The boy clenched and unclenched his fist. This wasn't easy to say… "We've been through so many together, hime, I know it's not been easy following me. I can understand… if you want to leave me…"
The girl smiled at the boy. "Iie, Recca-kun. I've stuck with you so long, and you've also had to go through a lot, because of me… and I could never help you…" she trailed off.
The boy lowered his eyes. "Hime…" So many things have changed. Suddenly, they were no longer high-school kids, instead both mature young people. How could things remain the same? How could he make things work out?
The girl reached out to hold his hand. "I don't mind sticking with you forever, Recca-kun. I love you… now and forever… We'll make things work... somehow..."
The boy sat alone under the tree, watching the petals of the cherry blossom float down. He felt the tiny box in his pocket as his heart raced, thinking about what the girl might say.
The girl ran towards the bench, her shoes making a clicking sound against the pavement. "I'm so sorry I'm late. Recca-kun. I was held up at the day-care centre…" She sat down softly next to him. "You wanted to talk to me…?"
The boy took a deep breath as he removed the box from his pocket. "Hime," he began, using the old nickname for her. "Will you… uh…" Words got stuck in his throat. "Uh…"
The girl blinked at him.
"Would you like… uh… I mean do you want to…" He twitched.
The girl might as well have worn a big question mark on her face.
"I uh… oh heck. Want to put a joint deposit on an apartment with me?" The boy blurted out.
The girl paused. A smile slowly crept across her face. "Are you asking me to marry you, Recca-kun?"
The boy blushed.
The girl grinned and hugged him tightly.
"Is that a yes?" The boy asked.
"I love you, Recca-kun, and I would like for us to spend our lives together. I will never leave you…"
The boy smiled sadly, as he looked at the falling petals. "Time passes so fast… to think it's been more than 30 years since the Ura Butou Satsujin…"
The girl smiled weakly, the wrinkles near her eyes crinkling a little as she leaned her head on his shoulder. "I remember twenty years ago you proposed to me here…"
The boy's eye's clouded with sadness. The girl had been getting weaker and weaker as the disease slowly ate away at her body. "The cherry blossoms are all falling. They're dying, falling from the tree…after that, they just wilt, and disappear." He murmured.
"Don't be silly…" She replied, with a sudden burst of strength. "The cherry blossoms may fall, but the trees remain. Next year, the cherry blossoms will come back. The cherry blossoms aren't dying… they're just leaving the tree for a while, only to be reborn again, and to return once more the next year to be with the tree again. The tree retains its roots, and so the blossoms will always return to open again…" An idea then hit her, and she stood up suddenly.
"Yanagi…" The boy protested. "Your sick, stop moving about…"
"I'm sick, Recca-kun but I'm not an invalid…" The girl chided, as she bent down to pick up the fallen petals.
"What are you doing…" The boy asked, his eyes growing big with curiosity.
"You'll see…" she replied. She knelt on the ground in front of the bench and began to scatter the petals on the bench.
The boy sighed and for the first time, he noticed how old she had gotten, how old the both of them had gotten. Time really flies… he thought. First we were teenagers at the peak of our youth and now we're both pruney and wrinkled…
"There, all done, Recca-kun!" The girl exclaimed, as her eyes seem to regain the shine she had as a young girl. She moved aside slightly to provide the boy with a clear view.
The boy's eyes overflowed with tears when he saw what she had formed…
A tiny heart, outlined by light pink cherry blossoms.
The girl held him tightly. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to upset you…"
"Don't leave me… Yanagi. Onegai?"
"I won't Recca-kun. I'm not going anywhere…"
Bridge: The One Left Behind
2 years later…under a bare cherry tree…
Confusion…
"You left me on a Sunday…" The man began, looking down at the grave.
"How could you? You told me you would wait for me.
Hell, Yanagi, you told me you would never leave me.
How could you go back on your word?
I remember seeing you lying on the bed, your fragile life sustained only by the many wires connected to your body. I told you I was going out to get you some flowers and maybe brighten up the room.
You told me you weren't going anywhere, Yanagi.
You told me you would wait. You would wait for me to come back so you could see me and the beautiful flowers I would bring you.
How could you lie to me Yanagi…
How could you lie to me…" The man broke down and began to sob.
Blame…
"Why couldn't your healing powers work on diseases, Yanagi?
Why couldn't you heal yourself?
Why couldn't you just hang on for a while?
Why, why didn't you respond after I called out your name, time and time again?
Why Yanagi, why?
Why must you break my heart like this?
We were so happy together… this was how it was meant to be, don't you know the hours I used to spend hours thinking about how it might be like for us to spend our twilight years together?
Don't you know I planned out everything.
We were supposed to adopt a puppy soon…
I know you've always loved children and animals, but since we never could have a child of our own, I was planning to adopt a puppy instead… to celebrate you recovering.
And the end… I always thought that since we seem to have such a strong emotional link together, we would probably die together… and no one would end up alone.
That's how you left me, Yanagi… all alone.
Guilt
And that's how you died too… all alone.
I wish I hadn't left you.
Flowers were a stupid idea anyway…
But the bottom line here is, I've been blaming everyone but myself for your death.
Maybe I should take the greatest blame.
It must have hurt, didn't it, Yanagi-chan.
It must have hurt so much, the last few hours, last few minutes of your life.
To feel the disease slowly take over your body…
Your beautiful, healthy body was slowly taken away so agonizingly, Yanagi-chan.
And I was never there to make the pain any less.
I was never there to cheer you up…
I was never there when you took your last breath, and closed your eyes…
Your beautiful brown eyes you would never open again…
Grief
I will never be able to see your big brown eyes greeting me every morning, as you sheepishly admit that you had been watching me sleep.
I will never be able to return to a home full of warmth and belonging because you won't be there to welcome me home anymore.
Your smile will never be there to greet me, to cheer me up, to encourage me.
I've lost you Yanagi, I lost you forever…
The world has lost you, and it weeps in your demise. Even the cherry blossoms didn't bloom this year.
The world is dying, Yanagi.
Or maybe…
It died along with you.
Requiem: A Meeting Under the Cherry Tree
The old man settled down on the bench. It would be nice to see this place one last time.
Nearby, a middle-aged lady with a head of beautiful hair that seemed to be greying only slightly was desperately trying to convince her daughter to stay put.
"Now, now, Kaa-san will be back after a while. Please stay put… Oh… alright, Kaa-san will buy you some sweets later." The woman looked up and spotted the old man. "A~ano… gomen if I'm troubling you, but I have to go visit… someone, and could you help me look after my daughter for a while. Just make sure she doesn't run off."
The old man looked at her through old world-weary green eyes. "Hai… oujo-sama."
The lady smiled politely to him and whispered, "Arigatou" before walking off. The little brown-haired girl looked slightly confused at her mother's departure, but slowly settled down to playing with the falling petals of the cherry tree.
The old man sighed once more, as things quieted down and he was left to his thoughts. One year had passed.
One year.
A year of hoping, wishing, and waiting for the hole she left in his heart after she died to heal, and it never did.
She had occupied such an integral part of his life… the place she had in his heart was so big, when she disappeared, the gaping hole became impossible to heal.
He remembered Fuuko's words to him in a recent phone call from Hokkaido, "You have got to go out there and get a life, Recca. Find something to occupy yourself or your grief will just kill you… please Recca. I've known you since we were kids. Where's that headstrong stubborn mule that could stand up to anything? So please Recca… stand up again… onegai…"
He smiled at those words. Good words, wise words, but they could no longer apply here. She thought he hadn't tried. Why did she think he was still here after a year. He had been waiting, waiting for the pain to go away, but it won't.
The pain had become an ache, a dull throbbing ache that was starting to eat him alive.
The pain didn't even just come from grief. There was guilt... and resentment.
And of course... a ninja that cannot protect his hime may might as well kill himself.
Tonight was going to be the time.
He had even prepared everything. The will, the pills, the letter, everything. It was all set now. After tonight, he would see her again…
He came here to see the cherry blossoms open, like how he and she always had. It was just tradition, and he just felt like doing so… the last time.
It had felt… right somehow.
He was interrupted by the clacking of shoes on the pavement. The woman had returned.
"Come now, Yanagi-chan," She called out. "Let's go now." She turned to address him. "And thank you sir…" She smiled at him.
The old man stared at her a while. "Her name…" He pointed to the girl. "Is Yanagi?"
The woman smiled. "Hai… it's a common name I suppose, but she was named after someone I met in my teenage years. She… and four or five others. They…" she trailed off, smiling slightly at reminiscing at the past. "I suppose they saved my life… I didn't keep contact with them, though… wish I knew what happened to them." She suddenly seemed to realize she had been rambling on and immediately stopped. "Gomen ne, for rambling on… just that I suppose memories of old will always be sweet, ne. People seem to live on sometimes, people who've impacted your life, they seem to always exist in your memories…" She smiled at him. "Ah well, sayonara…" She ended awkwardly as she beckoned to the girl to follow.
The old man settled back in the bench to think about what the woman had said, when he felt a tug on his sleeve.
"For you… oji-san." The little girl whispered before running off.
The old man looked at what she had done when he got the shock of his life.
As little beads of water trickled down his cheek, he murmured,
"So this was what you meant… Yanagi-chan. That the cherry blossoms never die… you were hinting to me then that you would never die… never die in my heart as long as I had the roots of your existence…
Memories of you… as long as I had the memories… you wouldn't die…
You knew what I would do didn't you, Yanagi-chan…
You're still alive there…aren't you?
You're still living... inside my heart...
I know you are… you never really left me after all… forever… you will still be staying back to look over me…
Until it really is my time to join you…"
And as the man's body shook with each sob, the wind seemed to blow away the little petals the young girl had taken…
And formed into the shape of a heart.
The wind carried the petals off the tree and onto the ground, and in that shower of cherry blossoms a voice seemed to whisper…
"Ai shiteiru Recca-kun…
Owari
Ailin "Wolfie"
June 3 Y2K