(a Story)
A not so long time ago in a galaxy not so far away considering that it is our galaxy stuff happend, lots of stuff happend. It all started at a school called Hogwarts. And the good tooth fairy came down and gave to the school a magic soda machine. From that magic soda machine came magic soda. Now it just so happend that Harry Potter was walking down the hall when the room turned dark. There was a flash of red light in the center of the room. "AHH HA HA HA COUGH CHOKE WHEEZE COUGH AND NOW I WILL FINALLY KILL, COUGH HARRY POTTER COUGH, HAY DOES ANY COUGH HAVE ANY COUGH MEDICINE, WHEEZE SNORT. " Voldemort yelled (well half yelled half coughed, wheezed or otherwise made other noises including but not limited to coughing wheezing, snorting or otherwise unintentionally disturbing the atomosphere as well as ejecting various bacteria into the atomosphere, OK I will shut up now). "BUT FIRST I'M THIRSTY, I THINK I WILL HAVE A SODA, ANYBODY GOT A KNUT, ITS NOT LIKE YOU CAN DIAL 1800 COLLECT FOR A SODA, COME TO THINK OF IT I HAVE ALWAYS HAD A CRUSH ON AVA SAVEALOT, OH NEVER MIND I HAVE ONE. OOOO, STRAWBERRY I HAVE NOT HAD STRAWBERRY SODA IN YEARS. YUM, THIS IS GOOD." There is a puff of smoke and all of a sudden Voldemort started running down the hallway yelling "OH MY GOD THE DARK LORD IS HERE, WAIT A SECOND I'M THE DARK LORD, WELL NOT ANY MORE, PEACE, LOVE, CANTERBERRY CHOCOLATE EASTER EGGS, NO WAIT SCRATCH THE LAST ONE". Harry was on the other side of the school by now, everyone else was standing with their mouths wide open. Voldemort slowly started to show everyone he was good, he even brought Professer McGonnagall flowers every day for a week.
Later that month Harry, Ron, and Hermione were walking down the hall, Ron spotted a poster the said "Come join the girl scouts as they go on camping trips with our new leader Lord Voldemort" Hermione lost no time in signing up. Asshe was running the heart shaped picture frame that she always carried with her fell out of her book. Professer Lockharts picture fell out.
Chapter 2, the first girl scout camp out.
Hermione went camping she brought with her a book that said
See Spot Run
Run Spot Run
Spot Runs fast
Spot can fly
Spot enjoys Tapioca
Spot blew up.
Hermione loved that book. First they decided to build a fire, Milicent gathered fireworks, while Lavender, built a log cabbin fire. Parvati tried to light the fire with a match. 20 matches later the fire still wouldn't light. "Voldemort the logs won't light" Padma complained. Voldemort answered "Screw the logs, lets use gasoline!!!". Twelve gasoline cans later they had a roaring or should I say out of control forest fire. Ginny was running in circles while everyone else ran away. In that fire Hermione lost her beloved Spot book and picture of Professer Lockhart.
Back at school a day later Voldemort informed them that there would be no more girl scout trips until Aragog dropped the law suit over the forest fire. Hermione was lying in her bed yelling at the cieling "Spot why did you have burn in the fire, why did I loose my beloved Spot book, I have nothing left to live for except , maybe Canterberry Chocolate Easter eggs and chocolate milk. "
Meanwhile back at Hogwarts Neville was running down the hallway screaming "THE DORK LORD IS COMING, OH MY GOD THE DORK LORD" Another student said "Voldemort is the dark lord, he is not dark anymore". Neville replied "No the Dork Lord, the King of the Dorks. POOF LOTS OF SMOKE ROSE, and A SKINNY WEIRD LOOKING GUY WITH A STRIPED SHIRT AND ODD CLOTHING CAME UP A SPOKE IN A HIGH PITCHED VOICE "I AM THE DORK LORD, FEAR ME". DUH DUH DUH. Just then Dorthy's house fell on the Dork Lord, AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING (YAY). Dorthy came out and found out she had killed the Dork Lord. She fell deeply in love with Voldemort, they both were moving to Hollywood to work in the movies, they were married and said to the musician "Play our song". The musician sung "DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD THE WITCH IS DEAD THE WITCH IS DEAD. And all lived happily every after*
*THIS STORY MAKES NO GARUNTEE EXPRESS OR IMPLIED IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM THAT ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER, THE DICTIONARY DEFINES HAPPILY AS BLISSFULLY AND EVER AFTER AS AN UNTERMINATING ACTION OR STATE OF EXISTANCE. tHE AUTHOR IS IN NO WAY RESPONISBLE FOR ANY OF THE ABOVE MEMBERS NOT LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED DURING THE MAKING OF THIS FANFIC
THIS FANFIC IS A WORK OF FICTION ANY SIMILIARITY TO ANY PERSON LIVING, DEAD, OR SOME WHERE IN BEETWEEN IS PURELY CONINCIDENTAL
THE PRODUCERS WISH TO THANK AN ANONAMOUS GUY NAMED BOB FOR EXISTING
THE BROWN COW SAYS MOO