I'm writing as quickly as I can during the holiday weekend … :) I realize the details are sketchy and the secondary plot less than basic, but please bear in mind that this is a character piece more than anything else. :)

Just Easier Than Dealing With the Pain

By Syntyche

Chapter Six

The knife dropped from his suddenly nerveless fingers to the grass.

Obi-Wan collapsed to the ground.

Release your frustration; it won't help any.

Qui-Gon drew a deep breath and let it out slowly, forcing his frustration to dissipate and surrounding himself with calm.

Where was Obi-Wan?

His Padawan had disappeared without so much as a note as to his whereabouts, and their bond remained strangely quiet. This irresponsible behavior was so totally unlike Obi-Wan it fueled the worry that had been growing within Qui-Gon to near panicked heights.

… But panic wouldn't help him find Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon took another measured breath.

He sat down at the comm station built into the corner of the living room and entered his code for the Jedi Temple. Qui-Gon absently tucked a lock of damp hair behind his ear while he waited for the call to connect, but other than that he remained perfectly still, betraying none of the turbulent emotion he felt inside.

He did, however, manage a smile when the image of his old Master finally appeared. "My Master."

"Master Qui-Gon," Yoda greeted. "Bring news of the negotiations, do you?"

Qui-Gon shook his head. "No, Master. Negotiations are scheduled to begin tomorrow." Focusing on Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon swallowed the pride that crowded his throat. "I wish to speak with you regarding an entirely personal matter."

Yoda's small face grew somber. "Here for you, I am, Qui-Gon," he assured gently.

Qui-Gon relaxed just marginally, but still worried. If he couldn't even approach the one he loved as a son, how could he convey his worries to Master Yoda? "I wish to speak with you about … my apprentice, Master," he said guardedly.

Yoda nodded gravely. "Young Obi-Wan is not well in the Force. Weakening, his signature is," the old Master said softly.

Qui-Gon felt his heart plummet to the general vicinity of his stomach. "Yes," he exhaled in a pained whisper. His pride suddenly so very unimportant, he continued without hesitation. "I don't know what to do, my Master," he confessed, his bright eyes dimmed with sorrow. "He will not speak to me. He is no longer the son I know."

Force, but it hurt to admit it. Qui-Gon thought briefly of all the many, many times he'd sat by Obi-Wan's bed in the Healers' Ward, keeping a silent vigil while his Padawan recovered from his most recent set of injuries. Holding his hand, smoothing the ginger hair from his forehead, or sending him calming thoughts while he thrashed inside the bacta tank, certain he was drowning instead of healing. Qui-Gon's heart broke every time he carried the young body of his Padawan to the Healers' and relinquished him to their care, trusting his Padawan to return to him healthy once more.

But this was worse, somehow. At the Healers', he waited for Obi-Wan's body to heal. Now, he felt like Obi-Wan's spirit – like his soul – was in pain and wounded, and neither he nor the Healers' could do anything to help.

"Tried, have you?" Yoda knew well of Qui-Gon's reluctance to share his personal feelings.

"Yes. I failed," Qui-Gon admitted with a tinge of self-bitterness, earning him a sharp-eyed stare from Yoda. He ignored it, plunging on. "I do not know what to do. In some ways, you know Obi-Wan better than I; he brings difficulties to you that he will not discuss with me." At this admittance, there was much more than a mere tinge of bitterness in Qui-Gon's acidic tone. Calm, he reminded himself sternly. He finished, "I am asking for your help, Master, for I cannot help him."

"So sure are you?"

Qui-Gon blinked in surprise, momentarily pushing his darker emotions aside. "I have already admitted this, Master," he frowned. "I am asking you to help Obi-Wan. I have failed him; he only shuts me out."

"Perhaps talk is not what young Obi-Wan needs," Yoda said quietly. "Action you must take, Qui-Gon." For a moment, sadness gleamed in Yoda's sleepy eyes. "Time you do not have to delay. Hurry you must. Find him immediately, you should."

The worry was back in the pit of Qui-Gon's stomach. I can't do this. I can't watch him fall apart and not be able to help. I can't be pushed away by him … like I push him away.

It was a harsh awakening to face. "Master, please, I – "

Yoda shook his head. "Do this, you must. Do this, you will."

There was no room for argument. "And the negotiations?" Qui-Gon asked weakly.

"Take care of them, also, you must," was Yoda's response. "Faith in you, I have, both in the matter of negotiations, and young Obi-Wan. May the Force be with you, Master Qui-Gon."

"And with you, my Master," Qui-Gon murmured automatically as Yoda closed the connection. Qui-Gon rose slowly from the console, feeling like he had aged immeasurably since earlier in the evening with President Talum's boisterous children. The Living Force felt eerily silent to him now.

Qui-Gon thrust the feeling aside. His own son needed him now; but how would he find him without the use of their bond?

Obi-Wan, he thought anxiously, where are you?

end chapter six