102. . . 103. . . 104. . . 105. One hundred and five cracks in Ken's
ceiling. Impressive number. I would have expected it to be smooth and
blank, but instead it's bumpy and cracked. It is kind of pretty,
though. It's a lot more interesting than a regular ceiling. But that
isn't important.
I suppose I should tell you what I am doing, and why I am counting
the cracks on a ceiling.
The best place to start is at the beginning, but I don't want to.
I'll start with the present. Presently, Ken is lying on his side next
to me, in Ken's bed. Presently, we're spooned together, me facing the
wall. Ken has his arm draped lightly over my waist, and his left leg
is curled around mine.
It's not his fault! He's still asleep. . . and. . . I. . . ahem. . .
and I am waiting for Ken-chan to wake up.
Don't you dare call me perverted!
It also isn't his fault in another way. He's a deep sleeper. A very,
very deep sleeper. He wouldn't wake up through a war. So I. . .
repositioned him. Gradually, to the place he is in now.
. . . .
OK, you can go ahead and call me perverted. But I needed a test to
see if I was reading things right, to see if the hints were really
there. To see if the relationship might- progress.
I really shouldn't call it a relationship. I shouldn't delude myself
like that. It's friendship, as simple as that. No matter how deep it
may go, even with the Jogress digivolving, we are still just friends.
And I hate that every day.
Since I have pretty much covered the present, I'll take a short trip
to the past to try and prove my case.
To start, I'll list some basic hints I get.
1. Ken can't hold eye contact when we talk about relationships.
2. Ken still hasn't, after all these years, developed such a deep
friendship with any of the other Digidestined. Miyako the only other
one that he is close to, but that pales in comparison to what we have.
3. Girls and guys from his 'Genius School' have been throwing
themselves at him, and he has turned every single one of them down.
Let me repeat that. Every - single - one. And I asked him about this
once, and he said it was because he was in love with someone else.
There! That's my proof. And there were some more specific things, but
they were too subtle and I doubt those.
Now let's slip into the time stream once more, and visit this
afternoon when I came over.
It was another one of those sleepovers that we have been having since
the beginning of time. I wasn't about to complain about the
redundancy, though. (I am not perverted!) We were watching some
movie, or something, I can't remember. I think it was Vampire Hunter
D, or Akira, or something with anime. But I'm not entirely sure. I
was pretending to be engrossed in the whole thing.
My peripheral vision was haunting me. All I could see was that blurry
gray and navy blob. And the sad thing is. . . the blob was
attractive. Painfully attractive. That's why I had the popcorn bowl
on my lap.
I would bury my face in my hands right now if I wasn't trying so hard
to convey the illusion that I'm asleep.
Chibimon was hanging out next to me, cuddling with Minomon. Something
about being cold, or something. So I turned up the AC a little! 60
degrees is nothing! It was hot in there!
Ken was complaining that it was cold. Chibimon and Minomon were too.
But I was hot. It was blisteringly hot.
Now where was I?
I was planning for this to be the big night. The night that I was
going to finally tell Ken. The night that I was going to confess my
love and we would get married and grow old together and live happily
ever after!
Come on! Forgive me for dreaming.
I turned to him. It was the moment. I could feel it.
"Ken," I say I says.
"Yeah Dai?" He threw another handful of popcorn in his mouth, still
not paying much attention to me. I wanted him to look at me, Goddamn
it! At least I had Chibi and Minomon's attention.
"Ken, well, I-"
"Out with it Daisuke!" That would be Chibimon. Streak of energy, that
thing was.
I blushed and put a hand on the back of my neck. I bit the inside of
my cheek to try and steel my nerves, but it wasn't working
well. "Ken. . . I-"
"Out with it!" Came a chorus from the Digimon on the couch.
So much for my quaint romantic moment.
"I. . . need some more popcorn!" I stammered, running into the
kitchen with the bowl. I put the bowl on the counter by the microwave
and melted into a little puddle on the floor.
Figuratively, duh. I need to clarify because some people wish that
would happen to me. Like 'Kari. And Takeru. And Iori.
I tried sitting there, or laying, whatever, and not thinking about
Ken. I thought about baseball. But that lead to thinking about balls,
and sticks, and the hot players.
It didn't go well.
I pulled myself up and attempted to make popcorn. That was what I was
there for. I picked up the first bag I could find and threw it into
the bowl with the unpopped kernels.
No, I wasn't thinking much. At least I removed the plastic covering.
I put that in the microwave and hit the popcorn button. Then I
started muttering things about Ken, many of which being words that I
shouldn't know.
That's when I heard Chibimon and Minomon. I think it was singing. "We
want popcorn! We want popcorn!"
"Give me a second!" The microwave clock read that I only had one
minute.
"What were you going to tell Ken, D'suke?"
"Nothing Chibimon. Nothing."
"You were gonna tell him something! Come on Daisuke, you can tell
us!" Minomon said. He managed to put on his best impression of a
begging Chibimon, and guilted me severely.
I leaned down to the two fluff balls and whispered, "I was going to
tell him I like him."
Chibimon was about to speak. I could see it. He had a telltale look
on his face, so I clamped my palm down on his face. I don't think I
cut off breathing, but I can't be sure. Digimon are weird like that.
"Listen to me." I wagged a finger at them. "You are going to keep
this quiet, do you understand? Quiet. You will not say. One. Word.
Got it?"
Minomon nodded his head, even though he didn't have a clearly defined
head. My hand shook with the movements of Chibimon's head. I assumed
it was a nod. The microwave beeped and the little Digimon scampered
in to be with Ken.
I opened the door of the microwave and a couple burnt kernels hit me,
but everything else was fine. I emptied the bag into the bowl and
made a mental checklist.
Blush- no, inconveniences- no, popcorn- yes. Perfect. I walked back
into the room.
After averting my eyes and staring very intently at my seat, I placed
the popcorn down.
It was the moment. The absolute perfect moment, the energy was
buzzing in the air. I turned to Ken. The light from the TV was
playing across his face.
It was time. No more putting it off. No more excuses for me. "Ken-"
"Do you have any chocolate?" asked Chibimon.
"No Chibi! Ken-"
"Why don't you have any chocolate? I thought you loved it."
"I don't have any! Ken I-"
"Are you sure? Because I think you are lying. Because that one time
you had it and I found it under your bed and you said that you didn't
have it but you," Chibimon took a much needed breath, "lied."
I gave my best earnest stare, which only amounted to a sad sort of
scowl. I wonder how girls do that 'Look' thing. "Chibi, please stop
interrupting me. I need to speak with Ken." With the mention of his
name, Ken faced me. "Ken, I need to tell you something. I-"
"You do have chocolate!" Chibimon had been digging in the couch, and
had found some lint or something.
"Chocolate!" yelled Minomon.
I grabbed it out of their hands. It was a small notebook. "This. . .
is not chocolate. Listen, Ken-"
"Yes it is!" Chibimon latched onto my arm. I shook it a little, but
he was on their tight. I decided to ignore him.
"Ken, I like-" I stopped when Chibimon bit me. "Ow! I-I like
Chibimon, but I want a new Digimon!" Yup, I got out of it. I lost it.
Ken chuckled softly and turned back to the television.
Chibimon's eyes got watery and he looked up at me with the most gut
wrenching expression I had ever seen. "You don't mean that, do you
D'suke?" He sniffled a little.
"No, Chibi." I was resigned to watching the terrible movie.
That was last night. Now it's morning, and I want to talk about the
present some more.
Ken shifted a little, and his head is resting on my neck. Now both
arms are around my waist. The best part is that nothing of the later
developments are my fault!
Enough of that. You want to hear a story, not some helpless kid whine
about the guy he's 'sleeping' with.
Hehe. After the movie, we were playing some video game that I was
totally beating Ken at! For once, because I had never beaten him at
anything before that night. I was on fire. I was in the zone.
Wait wait! Ken is waking up. His eyes flutter open and I feel his
eyelashes tickle the back of my neck. I fight not to cringe.
"Daisuke?" His voice sounds a little croaky from going unused for so
long.
I'm asleep. I have been asleep. I am asleep now.
"Daisuke?" Ken's voice gains clarity. Too bad I can't answer, for I
am asleep.
"Hmmmnnnmnn." I hear him mutter something, but I can't hear it,
despite the close vicinity.
He takes his arms away and untangles our legs. "Daisuke, get up."
I stir, but only a little. Ken is now on the ladder of his bed, and
is poking the small of my back. "Daisuke, get up.
Daaaaaaaiiisssssssuke-"
I roll over and face him, blinking my eyes open. "Whaa?"
"Get up! Almost time for you to go home."
This is not happening. My plan was flawless. But Ken gets up
casually, giving me no hints at all. This is not fair. I dig the
palms of my hands into my eyes, trying to get rid of this itchy
feeling.
Ken grabs one of my hands and pulls it away. "Don't do that. Come on.
You don't want to mess with your eyes, do you?"
I shake my head.
"Good. Now get up, you have to get ready."
"But what about sleep!" Not fair!
"No no, get up." He tightens his grip on my wrist and pulls me
forward.
I get down the ladder and Ken pulls my bag out from some closet, or
drawer, or something. My eyes are still weird. He throws it at me.
"Ken wait." If he is going to ignore my test, I am going to go ahead
and do it. I am going to tell him. Consequences be damned. "Ken, I
need to tell you." I pause. "I-I like you." My head drops and I can't
look at him. But I didn't blush. Oh no. My cheeks may have darkened
in color, but not a blush. No. No blushing here.
"Finally!" Ken runs over and wraps his arms around me. "Took you long
enough!"
"What?" My mouth hangs open and Ken takes full advantage of that.
It's strange, to have two tongues in my mouth.
"Mmm, phmm nnmn mm!"
Ken breaks the kiss, with obvious reluctance. "What?"
"What just happened here?"
He vaguely waves his hand. "I kissed you." Suddenly, Ken gets a very
evil looking smirk on his face. "And I'll do it again!"
Then he practically launches himself on me. I'm propelled backwards,
and my back hits the ladder.
His tongue is in my mouth again. Not an uncomfortable situation at
all, just a little weird.
And then he pulls away again. "That was nice and all, but you should
really brush your teeth. Your mouth tastes like paper."
"Huh?" I look at the two Digimon hiding in the corner.
Minomon speaks up. "Did you like the chocolate?"
ceiling. Impressive number. I would have expected it to be smooth and
blank, but instead it's bumpy and cracked. It is kind of pretty,
though. It's a lot more interesting than a regular ceiling. But that
isn't important.
I suppose I should tell you what I am doing, and why I am counting
the cracks on a ceiling.
The best place to start is at the beginning, but I don't want to.
I'll start with the present. Presently, Ken is lying on his side next
to me, in Ken's bed. Presently, we're spooned together, me facing the
wall. Ken has his arm draped lightly over my waist, and his left leg
is curled around mine.
It's not his fault! He's still asleep. . . and. . . I. . . ahem. . .
and I am waiting for Ken-chan to wake up.
Don't you dare call me perverted!
It also isn't his fault in another way. He's a deep sleeper. A very,
very deep sleeper. He wouldn't wake up through a war. So I. . .
repositioned him. Gradually, to the place he is in now.
. . . .
OK, you can go ahead and call me perverted. But I needed a test to
see if I was reading things right, to see if the hints were really
there. To see if the relationship might- progress.
I really shouldn't call it a relationship. I shouldn't delude myself
like that. It's friendship, as simple as that. No matter how deep it
may go, even with the Jogress digivolving, we are still just friends.
And I hate that every day.
Since I have pretty much covered the present, I'll take a short trip
to the past to try and prove my case.
To start, I'll list some basic hints I get.
1. Ken can't hold eye contact when we talk about relationships.
2. Ken still hasn't, after all these years, developed such a deep
friendship with any of the other Digidestined. Miyako the only other
one that he is close to, but that pales in comparison to what we have.
3. Girls and guys from his 'Genius School' have been throwing
themselves at him, and he has turned every single one of them down.
Let me repeat that. Every - single - one. And I asked him about this
once, and he said it was because he was in love with someone else.
There! That's my proof. And there were some more specific things, but
they were too subtle and I doubt those.
Now let's slip into the time stream once more, and visit this
afternoon when I came over.
It was another one of those sleepovers that we have been having since
the beginning of time. I wasn't about to complain about the
redundancy, though. (I am not perverted!) We were watching some
movie, or something, I can't remember. I think it was Vampire Hunter
D, or Akira, or something with anime. But I'm not entirely sure. I
was pretending to be engrossed in the whole thing.
My peripheral vision was haunting me. All I could see was that blurry
gray and navy blob. And the sad thing is. . . the blob was
attractive. Painfully attractive. That's why I had the popcorn bowl
on my lap.
I would bury my face in my hands right now if I wasn't trying so hard
to convey the illusion that I'm asleep.
Chibimon was hanging out next to me, cuddling with Minomon. Something
about being cold, or something. So I turned up the AC a little! 60
degrees is nothing! It was hot in there!
Ken was complaining that it was cold. Chibimon and Minomon were too.
But I was hot. It was blisteringly hot.
Now where was I?
I was planning for this to be the big night. The night that I was
going to finally tell Ken. The night that I was going to confess my
love and we would get married and grow old together and live happily
ever after!
Come on! Forgive me for dreaming.
I turned to him. It was the moment. I could feel it.
"Ken," I say I says.
"Yeah Dai?" He threw another handful of popcorn in his mouth, still
not paying much attention to me. I wanted him to look at me, Goddamn
it! At least I had Chibi and Minomon's attention.
"Ken, well, I-"
"Out with it Daisuke!" That would be Chibimon. Streak of energy, that
thing was.
I blushed and put a hand on the back of my neck. I bit the inside of
my cheek to try and steel my nerves, but it wasn't working
well. "Ken. . . I-"
"Out with it!" Came a chorus from the Digimon on the couch.
So much for my quaint romantic moment.
"I. . . need some more popcorn!" I stammered, running into the
kitchen with the bowl. I put the bowl on the counter by the microwave
and melted into a little puddle on the floor.
Figuratively, duh. I need to clarify because some people wish that
would happen to me. Like 'Kari. And Takeru. And Iori.
I tried sitting there, or laying, whatever, and not thinking about
Ken. I thought about baseball. But that lead to thinking about balls,
and sticks, and the hot players.
It didn't go well.
I pulled myself up and attempted to make popcorn. That was what I was
there for. I picked up the first bag I could find and threw it into
the bowl with the unpopped kernels.
No, I wasn't thinking much. At least I removed the plastic covering.
I put that in the microwave and hit the popcorn button. Then I
started muttering things about Ken, many of which being words that I
shouldn't know.
That's when I heard Chibimon and Minomon. I think it was singing. "We
want popcorn! We want popcorn!"
"Give me a second!" The microwave clock read that I only had one
minute.
"What were you going to tell Ken, D'suke?"
"Nothing Chibimon. Nothing."
"You were gonna tell him something! Come on Daisuke, you can tell
us!" Minomon said. He managed to put on his best impression of a
begging Chibimon, and guilted me severely.
I leaned down to the two fluff balls and whispered, "I was going to
tell him I like him."
Chibimon was about to speak. I could see it. He had a telltale look
on his face, so I clamped my palm down on his face. I don't think I
cut off breathing, but I can't be sure. Digimon are weird like that.
"Listen to me." I wagged a finger at them. "You are going to keep
this quiet, do you understand? Quiet. You will not say. One. Word.
Got it?"
Minomon nodded his head, even though he didn't have a clearly defined
head. My hand shook with the movements of Chibimon's head. I assumed
it was a nod. The microwave beeped and the little Digimon scampered
in to be with Ken.
I opened the door of the microwave and a couple burnt kernels hit me,
but everything else was fine. I emptied the bag into the bowl and
made a mental checklist.
Blush- no, inconveniences- no, popcorn- yes. Perfect. I walked back
into the room.
After averting my eyes and staring very intently at my seat, I placed
the popcorn down.
It was the moment. The absolute perfect moment, the energy was
buzzing in the air. I turned to Ken. The light from the TV was
playing across his face.
It was time. No more putting it off. No more excuses for me. "Ken-"
"Do you have any chocolate?" asked Chibimon.
"No Chibi! Ken-"
"Why don't you have any chocolate? I thought you loved it."
"I don't have any! Ken I-"
"Are you sure? Because I think you are lying. Because that one time
you had it and I found it under your bed and you said that you didn't
have it but you," Chibimon took a much needed breath, "lied."
I gave my best earnest stare, which only amounted to a sad sort of
scowl. I wonder how girls do that 'Look' thing. "Chibi, please stop
interrupting me. I need to speak with Ken." With the mention of his
name, Ken faced me. "Ken, I need to tell you something. I-"
"You do have chocolate!" Chibimon had been digging in the couch, and
had found some lint or something.
"Chocolate!" yelled Minomon.
I grabbed it out of their hands. It was a small notebook. "This. . .
is not chocolate. Listen, Ken-"
"Yes it is!" Chibimon latched onto my arm. I shook it a little, but
he was on their tight. I decided to ignore him.
"Ken, I like-" I stopped when Chibimon bit me. "Ow! I-I like
Chibimon, but I want a new Digimon!" Yup, I got out of it. I lost it.
Ken chuckled softly and turned back to the television.
Chibimon's eyes got watery and he looked up at me with the most gut
wrenching expression I had ever seen. "You don't mean that, do you
D'suke?" He sniffled a little.
"No, Chibi." I was resigned to watching the terrible movie.
That was last night. Now it's morning, and I want to talk about the
present some more.
Ken shifted a little, and his head is resting on my neck. Now both
arms are around my waist. The best part is that nothing of the later
developments are my fault!
Enough of that. You want to hear a story, not some helpless kid whine
about the guy he's 'sleeping' with.
Hehe. After the movie, we were playing some video game that I was
totally beating Ken at! For once, because I had never beaten him at
anything before that night. I was on fire. I was in the zone.
Wait wait! Ken is waking up. His eyes flutter open and I feel his
eyelashes tickle the back of my neck. I fight not to cringe.
"Daisuke?" His voice sounds a little croaky from going unused for so
long.
I'm asleep. I have been asleep. I am asleep now.
"Daisuke?" Ken's voice gains clarity. Too bad I can't answer, for I
am asleep.
"Hmmmnnnmnn." I hear him mutter something, but I can't hear it,
despite the close vicinity.
He takes his arms away and untangles our legs. "Daisuke, get up."
I stir, but only a little. Ken is now on the ladder of his bed, and
is poking the small of my back. "Daisuke, get up.
Daaaaaaaiiisssssssuke-"
I roll over and face him, blinking my eyes open. "Whaa?"
"Get up! Almost time for you to go home."
This is not happening. My plan was flawless. But Ken gets up
casually, giving me no hints at all. This is not fair. I dig the
palms of my hands into my eyes, trying to get rid of this itchy
feeling.
Ken grabs one of my hands and pulls it away. "Don't do that. Come on.
You don't want to mess with your eyes, do you?"
I shake my head.
"Good. Now get up, you have to get ready."
"But what about sleep!" Not fair!
"No no, get up." He tightens his grip on my wrist and pulls me
forward.
I get down the ladder and Ken pulls my bag out from some closet, or
drawer, or something. My eyes are still weird. He throws it at me.
"Ken wait." If he is going to ignore my test, I am going to go ahead
and do it. I am going to tell him. Consequences be damned. "Ken, I
need to tell you." I pause. "I-I like you." My head drops and I can't
look at him. But I didn't blush. Oh no. My cheeks may have darkened
in color, but not a blush. No. No blushing here.
"Finally!" Ken runs over and wraps his arms around me. "Took you long
enough!"
"What?" My mouth hangs open and Ken takes full advantage of that.
It's strange, to have two tongues in my mouth.
"Mmm, phmm nnmn mm!"
Ken breaks the kiss, with obvious reluctance. "What?"
"What just happened here?"
He vaguely waves his hand. "I kissed you." Suddenly, Ken gets a very
evil looking smirk on his face. "And I'll do it again!"
Then he practically launches himself on me. I'm propelled backwards,
and my back hits the ladder.
His tongue is in my mouth again. Not an uncomfortable situation at
all, just a little weird.
And then he pulls away again. "That was nice and all, but you should
really brush your teeth. Your mouth tastes like paper."
"Huh?" I look at the two Digimon hiding in the corner.
Minomon speaks up. "Did you like the chocolate?"