Chapter 3
A Little Trust
The car ride home was eerily silent. Max sped through intersection after intersection hoping to get home before all hell broke loose. His parents could never know how close they came to losing them. They could never know about Max's aborted mission.
Max's mind was somewhere else when his attention turned to his home of all his life. His parents' cars were in the driveway. Max quickly pulled into the open space causing the tires to squeak at an ear-piercing frequency. He jumped out of the car and slammed the door forgetting everything else.
Isabel was still in her daze as she saw her mom's car get closer. She braced herself for an impact and was surprised when all that can was a slight jolt of the brakes and a screech. She saw Max jump out of the car at lightening speed and make for the front door. She had never seen him so determined.
Max fumbled around with the keys as his heart pounded loudly in his ears. He found the key and inserted it giving it a quick turn. He ran inside and headed for his room. Isabel followed him as he sped through the house. As he got to the room he opened the door a crack to see his mother in front of the television crying.
Isabel made her way quickly and down the hallway and smacked into the back her brother. "Max, what the hell..." She quieted down when she took in the site of her mother sitting on the bed with tears trailing down her face.
"Oh, no," Isabel's voice caught in her throat. "She's already seen it. We're too late. What are we going to do?"
Max was stunned. He felt like less of a man. Here he was, supposed leader of a destitute planet, being torn up by watching his adoptive mother cry. He didn't know what to do. What would he tell her.
"We...we could tell her it was a...joke." It sounded stupider coming out of his mouth.
Isabel looked at him with tears in her eyes and he wished he had kept his comment to himself. "Well we can't just do nothing. We can't stand here and watch her cry. We have to tell her." She gave Max a glare that made him feel like his eyes would burn.
"You mean...TELL HER?" Max face krinkled with worry. "But Iz...we..." Isabel held her hand up to his face.
"Enough is enough!" she said in a very loud whisper. "We've put her through hell this past year. We leave on these alien excursions and never know if we'll come back alive. Sometimes we're away for days and she always believes us when we lie to her face and tell her we were camping or sleeping out. Just once I'd like to have a little closure."
Isabel's mind began to drift to Alex. Max realized this and gave her a nudge. "Isabel, I don't think you realize the severity of this."
"The hell I don't. I've wanted to tell her since that first day. The day when she walked into that orphanage and I knew then and there that she was going to be my mother. She was the most beautiful thing in the world. So comforting. And she wanted me. Out of all of the kids in the orphanage she wanted me."
Max looked at her, his face twisted in a frown while his eyes smiled a genuine smile. He had wanted to tell her too but he was afraid of how she would react. Would she think him a freak? She had stood behind him all the way. She had trusted him even though he had kept her in the dark. He had asked her to trust him and she did.
"I want to tell her too Iz but..." he was cut off.
"No buts Max, we're telling her. Mothers and daughters should have a bond. We don't have that because I can't be honest with her and tell her about who...what I really am."
"Your Isabel Evans," Max said lifting her tear-stained face to meet his gaze. "You're a beautiful, smart, caring girl. You're everything she thinks you are and more."
"I want her to know that I'm more," she said pulling her face away.
"She does," he whispered to her. "That's why she picked you. Out of all of the little girls it was you that she wanted. She knew you were special. She does. Why do you think she's crying?"
Isabel let the tears fall and pressed her face into her brother's jacket. She sniffed and hearing her mother's stifled cries choked them back. She pulled away.
"I never got closure with Alex. I never got to tell him what I wanted to. I never got to tell him how much I loved him..."
"I'm sure he knew," Max interrupted.
"I need this, Max. I need her to know that if we don't return one day that it's not because we don't care. I don't want her to think we don't love her. I want her to know the truth. I want her to know who we really are. I want to know that I never have to lie to her again."
"Do you know what you're asking here?" Max's voice was full of worry.
"I've made up my mind," she said sternly. Max dared not protest. He too wanted to tell her but tried to hide it.
"I never got to have closure with Alex. I want to have closure with her. One day we'll leave and I just want her to know why."
Max looked at her understanding where she was coming from. Isabel did not see the feeling in his eyes as she watched as her mother continued to cry. A touch on her shoulder startled her. She turned to face Max. She was amazed when he held out his hand. She smiled and brushed her tears back as she took his hand and clenched it tightly.
Max went first. He pushed the door open and stepped through dragging Isable behind him protectively. He saw his mother's eyes light up. She wiped her eyes and choked back a sob.
"Max!" she said as she went up and enveloped him and Isabel in a hug. Isabel let the tears come down again as she felt her mothers tight grip around her body. Max pulled them all out of the hug.
"We're sorry, mom. We didn't mean to worry you. We'll explain," Max told her.
"I'm just glad you're home and safe," she told them as she went and grabbed Isabel who was clearly shaken and wrapped her arms around her. Isabel sighed into her mother as she took in the scent of her perfume. She wanted to always remember what her mother smelled like. If she'd died right now she'd always remember her mother who smelled of jasmine. That's how she'd want to remember her, exactly how she was now, sweet-smelling and beautiful with the sparkle of tears in her eyes.
"I love you so much," Isabel whispered into her hair. It was time. It was finally right. She felt it. Her mother would finally be let in on the secret that had haunted isabel since the day she came to live with her. Isabel pulled away from the embrace.
"We can explain everything mom," she began. "The tape...we didn't..."
"Wait...slow down," Diane could barely understand her daughter who was now panting and crying. "Isabel, calm down. You didn't do anything wrong."
"Yes I did. I just left and..." Isabel couldn't breathe.
"Honey, I don't know what you're talking about. You already told me you were going to The Crashdown, remember? You were at The Crashdown...weren't you?"
"Yeah, sort of. I did go to The Crashdown," Isabel told her.
"Then what's the problem?" her mother asked her puzzled.
"Well, I thought you'd be upset when you found out," Isabel was astonished at her mother's calmness now.
Max didn't understand the exchange between his mother and sister. He didn't understand why his mother seemed so retrained now when a minute ago she was crying her eyes out. He didn't know why she wasn't drilling them on where they were going and why they were back.
"Mom, what Isabel is trying to say is that we're sorry we worried you," Max finally spoke up. "We didn't mean to leave like that but we had to."
"What? What are you kids talking about?" Diane was without a clue. All of a sudden her children were apologizing for something and she had no idea what they were talking about. This couldn't be good.
"We didn't mean to make you cry, mom. Honest." Isabel's teary eyes were reflected by her mothers.
"Oh, Izzy. Sweetheart, don't cry. Oh, I wasn't crying because... Oh my gosh, I'm so embarassed. It's not your fault sweetie. I was just watching..."
"We know what you were watching and you have every right to be upset," Isabel told her.
"But honey, I hardly think it's yours or Max's fault. It just really got to me. The thought that I could lose my children. I never want that to happen."
"It never will mom," Isabel said hugging her.
"Oh, I know that. It's just...I love you two so much and I just want you to know that. In case anything ever happens, I want you to know that I love you," she was crying in her daughter's arms.
"We love you too mom," Isabel and Max both whispered.
"You've loved us and trusted us and...believed in us and we've left you in the dark. We want to tell you something now. Something very important," Isabel wiped the tears from her eyes. Her mother straightened up at the seriousness of her tone.
"We want to explain about what you saw," Isabel began to explain.
"Oh honey, I know," Mrs. Evans relayed.
"You do?" Isabel and Max's eyes were wipe open.
"Of course," she told them. Isabel was speechless. Her mother had known all along. How?
"You mean you've known? How?" Isabel's voice was raspy.
"I came up here one day and heard you. You're my daughter. Did you really think I wouldn't find out? You tried so hard to cover it up, but I saw right through it."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Mrs. Evans' face was wrinkled with puzzlement.
"I didn't think it was very important. I didn't want to make you feel like you had been found out. I didn't want you to think you had something to be ashamed of."
She knew. After everything, she knew. Isabel couldn't believe it. She wasn't shocked. She wasn't surprised. She wasn't running away from her. She was in this to stay. Isabel could finally tell her mother everything. Her mother would finally get to know about her. The side she showed the world and the side she didn't.
"Oh, honey," Diane consoled, "it's nothing to be ashamed of. "I feel the same way. I'm such a romantic. I love to watch those sad movies and cry just for the heck of it. There's nothing like a good cry. You're just like me." Isabel's face fell. She didn't know. Not what she wanted her to.
"So you mean you were crying because you were watching..." Isabel let her fill it in.
"What Dreams May Come. It's a beautiful movie. His children die and then he dies and his wife is left all alone. I don't know what I'd do if that ever happened to me. I don't think I'd be able to live."
This made Isabel feel awful. She had almost left. Her mother was certain that without her children she'd die. Isabel would be responsible for abouther death.
"If anything like that ever happened to you guys..." Diane's voice trailed off.
"Mom, nothing like that ever will," Isabel said hugging her tightly. Max went up to them and joined them.
"You can be sure of that," he told her.
"OK, enough with these dramatics, you old softie," Mrs. Evans said poking Isabel making he sniff back a giggle. "Now what is so serious that it couldn't wait." Isabel's mouth opened and emitted no sound.
"Well mom," Max took his cue, "Isabel...can't decide on what to do next year." Isabel looked at him curiously.
"Max, that's not what I was going to say," she butted in.
"Well what was it?" Diane turned toward her teary daughter.
Isabel loved how things were. What if telling her complicated things? What if she didn't love her anymore? Isabel didn't want to think about it.
"I've decided to graduate with Max next year," she burst out.
"Oh, honey, that's wonderful," her mother said hugging her. Isabel pressed her face against her loving mother's shoulder. "That's another year I get to spend with my baby girl. I'm so happy. Are you sure?"
"Yeah, mom, I'm sure," she told her. And she was. She wanted to spend as much time with her as she could.
"Is that it?" Diane asked looking at her daughter sideways.
"Yep. That's it."
"You sure?" she asked again.
"I'm sure," Isabel confirmed. "I'm staying...that's....all i wanted to say."
A Little Trust
The car ride home was eerily silent. Max sped through intersection after intersection hoping to get home before all hell broke loose. His parents could never know how close they came to losing them. They could never know about Max's aborted mission.
Max's mind was somewhere else when his attention turned to his home of all his life. His parents' cars were in the driveway. Max quickly pulled into the open space causing the tires to squeak at an ear-piercing frequency. He jumped out of the car and slammed the door forgetting everything else.
Isabel was still in her daze as she saw her mom's car get closer. She braced herself for an impact and was surprised when all that can was a slight jolt of the brakes and a screech. She saw Max jump out of the car at lightening speed and make for the front door. She had never seen him so determined.
Max fumbled around with the keys as his heart pounded loudly in his ears. He found the key and inserted it giving it a quick turn. He ran inside and headed for his room. Isabel followed him as he sped through the house. As he got to the room he opened the door a crack to see his mother in front of the television crying.
Isabel made her way quickly and down the hallway and smacked into the back her brother. "Max, what the hell..." She quieted down when she took in the site of her mother sitting on the bed with tears trailing down her face.
"Oh, no," Isabel's voice caught in her throat. "She's already seen it. We're too late. What are we going to do?"
Max was stunned. He felt like less of a man. Here he was, supposed leader of a destitute planet, being torn up by watching his adoptive mother cry. He didn't know what to do. What would he tell her.
"We...we could tell her it was a...joke." It sounded stupider coming out of his mouth.
Isabel looked at him with tears in her eyes and he wished he had kept his comment to himself. "Well we can't just do nothing. We can't stand here and watch her cry. We have to tell her." She gave Max a glare that made him feel like his eyes would burn.
"You mean...TELL HER?" Max face krinkled with worry. "But Iz...we..." Isabel held her hand up to his face.
"Enough is enough!" she said in a very loud whisper. "We've put her through hell this past year. We leave on these alien excursions and never know if we'll come back alive. Sometimes we're away for days and she always believes us when we lie to her face and tell her we were camping or sleeping out. Just once I'd like to have a little closure."
Isabel's mind began to drift to Alex. Max realized this and gave her a nudge. "Isabel, I don't think you realize the severity of this."
"The hell I don't. I've wanted to tell her since that first day. The day when she walked into that orphanage and I knew then and there that she was going to be my mother. She was the most beautiful thing in the world. So comforting. And she wanted me. Out of all of the kids in the orphanage she wanted me."
Max looked at her, his face twisted in a frown while his eyes smiled a genuine smile. He had wanted to tell her too but he was afraid of how she would react. Would she think him a freak? She had stood behind him all the way. She had trusted him even though he had kept her in the dark. He had asked her to trust him and she did.
"I want to tell her too Iz but..." he was cut off.
"No buts Max, we're telling her. Mothers and daughters should have a bond. We don't have that because I can't be honest with her and tell her about who...what I really am."
"Your Isabel Evans," Max said lifting her tear-stained face to meet his gaze. "You're a beautiful, smart, caring girl. You're everything she thinks you are and more."
"I want her to know that I'm more," she said pulling her face away.
"She does," he whispered to her. "That's why she picked you. Out of all of the little girls it was you that she wanted. She knew you were special. She does. Why do you think she's crying?"
Isabel let the tears fall and pressed her face into her brother's jacket. She sniffed and hearing her mother's stifled cries choked them back. She pulled away.
"I never got closure with Alex. I never got to tell him what I wanted to. I never got to tell him how much I loved him..."
"I'm sure he knew," Max interrupted.
"I need this, Max. I need her to know that if we don't return one day that it's not because we don't care. I don't want her to think we don't love her. I want her to know the truth. I want her to know who we really are. I want to know that I never have to lie to her again."
"Do you know what you're asking here?" Max's voice was full of worry.
"I've made up my mind," she said sternly. Max dared not protest. He too wanted to tell her but tried to hide it.
"I never got to have closure with Alex. I want to have closure with her. One day we'll leave and I just want her to know why."
Max looked at her understanding where she was coming from. Isabel did not see the feeling in his eyes as she watched as her mother continued to cry. A touch on her shoulder startled her. She turned to face Max. She was amazed when he held out his hand. She smiled and brushed her tears back as she took his hand and clenched it tightly.
Max went first. He pushed the door open and stepped through dragging Isable behind him protectively. He saw his mother's eyes light up. She wiped her eyes and choked back a sob.
"Max!" she said as she went up and enveloped him and Isabel in a hug. Isabel let the tears come down again as she felt her mothers tight grip around her body. Max pulled them all out of the hug.
"We're sorry, mom. We didn't mean to worry you. We'll explain," Max told her.
"I'm just glad you're home and safe," she told them as she went and grabbed Isabel who was clearly shaken and wrapped her arms around her. Isabel sighed into her mother as she took in the scent of her perfume. She wanted to always remember what her mother smelled like. If she'd died right now she'd always remember her mother who smelled of jasmine. That's how she'd want to remember her, exactly how she was now, sweet-smelling and beautiful with the sparkle of tears in her eyes.
"I love you so much," Isabel whispered into her hair. It was time. It was finally right. She felt it. Her mother would finally be let in on the secret that had haunted isabel since the day she came to live with her. Isabel pulled away from the embrace.
"We can explain everything mom," she began. "The tape...we didn't..."
"Wait...slow down," Diane could barely understand her daughter who was now panting and crying. "Isabel, calm down. You didn't do anything wrong."
"Yes I did. I just left and..." Isabel couldn't breathe.
"Honey, I don't know what you're talking about. You already told me you were going to The Crashdown, remember? You were at The Crashdown...weren't you?"
"Yeah, sort of. I did go to The Crashdown," Isabel told her.
"Then what's the problem?" her mother asked her puzzled.
"Well, I thought you'd be upset when you found out," Isabel was astonished at her mother's calmness now.
Max didn't understand the exchange between his mother and sister. He didn't understand why his mother seemed so retrained now when a minute ago she was crying her eyes out. He didn't know why she wasn't drilling them on where they were going and why they were back.
"Mom, what Isabel is trying to say is that we're sorry we worried you," Max finally spoke up. "We didn't mean to leave like that but we had to."
"What? What are you kids talking about?" Diane was without a clue. All of a sudden her children were apologizing for something and she had no idea what they were talking about. This couldn't be good.
"We didn't mean to make you cry, mom. Honest." Isabel's teary eyes were reflected by her mothers.
"Oh, Izzy. Sweetheart, don't cry. Oh, I wasn't crying because... Oh my gosh, I'm so embarassed. It's not your fault sweetie. I was just watching..."
"We know what you were watching and you have every right to be upset," Isabel told her.
"But honey, I hardly think it's yours or Max's fault. It just really got to me. The thought that I could lose my children. I never want that to happen."
"It never will mom," Isabel said hugging her.
"Oh, I know that. It's just...I love you two so much and I just want you to know that. In case anything ever happens, I want you to know that I love you," she was crying in her daughter's arms.
"We love you too mom," Isabel and Max both whispered.
"You've loved us and trusted us and...believed in us and we've left you in the dark. We want to tell you something now. Something very important," Isabel wiped the tears from her eyes. Her mother straightened up at the seriousness of her tone.
"We want to explain about what you saw," Isabel began to explain.
"Oh honey, I know," Mrs. Evans relayed.
"You do?" Isabel and Max's eyes were wipe open.
"Of course," she told them. Isabel was speechless. Her mother had known all along. How?
"You mean you've known? How?" Isabel's voice was raspy.
"I came up here one day and heard you. You're my daughter. Did you really think I wouldn't find out? You tried so hard to cover it up, but I saw right through it."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Mrs. Evans' face was wrinkled with puzzlement.
"I didn't think it was very important. I didn't want to make you feel like you had been found out. I didn't want you to think you had something to be ashamed of."
She knew. After everything, she knew. Isabel couldn't believe it. She wasn't shocked. She wasn't surprised. She wasn't running away from her. She was in this to stay. Isabel could finally tell her mother everything. Her mother would finally get to know about her. The side she showed the world and the side she didn't.
"Oh, honey," Diane consoled, "it's nothing to be ashamed of. "I feel the same way. I'm such a romantic. I love to watch those sad movies and cry just for the heck of it. There's nothing like a good cry. You're just like me." Isabel's face fell. She didn't know. Not what she wanted her to.
"So you mean you were crying because you were watching..." Isabel let her fill it in.
"What Dreams May Come. It's a beautiful movie. His children die and then he dies and his wife is left all alone. I don't know what I'd do if that ever happened to me. I don't think I'd be able to live."
This made Isabel feel awful. She had almost left. Her mother was certain that without her children she'd die. Isabel would be responsible for abouther death.
"If anything like that ever happened to you guys..." Diane's voice trailed off.
"Mom, nothing like that ever will," Isabel said hugging her tightly. Max went up to them and joined them.
"You can be sure of that," he told her.
"OK, enough with these dramatics, you old softie," Mrs. Evans said poking Isabel making he sniff back a giggle. "Now what is so serious that it couldn't wait." Isabel's mouth opened and emitted no sound.
"Well mom," Max took his cue, "Isabel...can't decide on what to do next year." Isabel looked at him curiously.
"Max, that's not what I was going to say," she butted in.
"Well what was it?" Diane turned toward her teary daughter.
Isabel loved how things were. What if telling her complicated things? What if she didn't love her anymore? Isabel didn't want to think about it.
"I've decided to graduate with Max next year," she burst out.
"Oh, honey, that's wonderful," her mother said hugging her. Isabel pressed her face against her loving mother's shoulder. "That's another year I get to spend with my baby girl. I'm so happy. Are you sure?"
"Yeah, mom, I'm sure," she told her. And she was. She wanted to spend as much time with her as she could.
"Is that it?" Diane asked looking at her daughter sideways.
"Yep. That's it."
"You sure?" she asked again.
"I'm sure," Isabel confirmed. "I'm staying...that's....all i wanted to say."