Disclaimer: No, I don't own them. How sad for me.
Summary: Satine ponders.
A's/N: Guess what? Big shock- most fanfic for this movie WILL spoil the movie for you! SO, if you haven't seen it, get the hell away from the fics! HELLO??? Why would you read fic before seeing it? IGNORE! Resist!
Sorry. Had to vent that.
Rating: G/PG. I'm quite boring.
I've heard that if you truly love someone, you have to let them go.
I've experienced that.
It was hard to let him go.
I had the most dreadful time admitting that I was dead. It's not an easy thing to grasp- that once you were so vital, so alive and now you're nothing but a memory and a tomb.
In order to move on to wherever you end up- heaven, hell or purgatory- you must admit to yourself that you have died and let all you life go.
I couldn't.
Not for lack of trying everyone else's part.
I was most decidedly against it.
Let go of him?!?!?!?! I screamed. Never!
I stubbornly stomped my foot and pouted.
I cried, I pleaded, I bribed, I begged.
I'm not supposed to be dead! I would scream. I've got my whole life ahead of me!!! I've got Christian!!!
When that didn't work, I used other tactics.
I could watch him mourn. Not a particularly comforting sight, but at least I could see him.
Though it was a wicked thing to do, I decided to play it to my advantage.
Christian needs me, I'd say, Can't you see?
It broke my heart to watch him.
All I got for all my words was some stoic faces and grim answers: no.
You have to let him go, everyone told me. If you don't, neither of you will be able to move on.
But I didn't want to. I didn't want to let go of my one last shred of life. He was my heartbeat, he was my breath, my soul, my life.
Minutes turned to hours. Hours morphed to days. Days transformed into weeks, weeks into months.
How long a time that we both suffered.
We both shed tears.
We both felt rage.
We both felt sorrow.
We both asked the continual, non-answerable question: why?
Perhaps it was symbolic of our spiritual connection.
Or maybe it was just the human nature that made us both relate in such a fashion.
One day, he sat down to write our story.
As our story flowed from his mind through his words and onto the paper, I realized I had to let go.
It was hard for me to say good-bye. The hardest thing I'll ever have to do.
But by the time he had finished that story, Christian was ready to move on.
It's a hard lesson to learn- in order to prove love, you must let love go.
Come what may...