The Color of Roses
by mrs~*~kenobi
Standard Disclaimer: Uncle George owns it all....blah, blah, blah...
AN~ this fic is unlike anything I've ever done before. although anakin has turned, it's slightly AU. (you'll understand when you read it.) and, for once, it's not a songfic!
~*~
The Color of Roses
~*~
Obi-Wan Kenobi looked out upon the city of Theed as the sun began to set, eyes filled with pain. His face was expressionless, but his blue-green eyes could not have been filled with more emotion. "Was it something I did? Or something I didn't do?" he whispered to himself.
It was still going around in his head: why it had happened. "I suppose maybe I was too full of myself to realize what was really going on..." Obi-Wan uttered. "Anakin...whatever it is that I did, I'm sorry. I really am. But whatever you did, you didn't have to turn to the Dark Side...any alternative was better than that."
Tears started to well up in his eyes. Quickly he wiped them away with the back of one hand. Obi-Wan didn't want to cry. I can't. I won't. He sniffled, the tears already deciding to spigot.
Stop this, Obi-Wan ordered himself sternly. You can't fall apart. If I fall apart, Amidala will know there is no hope left. I have to be strong for Amidala.
But she understands, his other voice said. She knows there's no hope left anyway. And you're hurting inside. It's okay to cry and to be sad. Besides, no one is stopping you. No one is going to tell you that you cannot.
Obi-Wan clenched his teeth with annoyance. He backed away from the balcony railing, pacing angrily.
You can be sad, you can cry...no, Obi-Wan. You have to be strong. You will not break down.....no, if you are in pain, do not pretend that you are not. The strongest of men cry...no! you can't lose your composure! you have to. . .
"STOP! SHUT UP!" Obi-Wan yelled at his arguing thoughts. He stormed furiously to the balcony doors, not seeing the potted plant on the floor. Obi-Wan stepped right on top of it, completely losing his balance. The pot broke and he fell backwards, hitting the back of his head hard against the rail.
~*~
"Obi-Wan?" Amidala tapped on the door to his quarters. "Are you in there?"
No answer.
"Obi-Wan?" the Queen began to grow worried. She pressed a few buttons next to the door and it slid open.
The room was quiet and didn't seem disturbed. "Obi-Wan?" she called softly. "Where are you?"
Amidala noticed the ajar balcony doors. Gripping the handles, she pulled the glass doors open.
"Oh my Gods!" she gasped, notcing the unconscious Obi-Wan laying on the floor of the balcony. Amidala kneeled down at his side. Gently, she put her hands on his shoulders and shook him. "Obi-Wan!" she cried.
Slowly he began to come around.
"Oh, thank you...thank you..." Amidala sighed, gripping her hands against her chest as Obi-Wan began to awaken. She wrapped her arms around Obi-Wan and hugged him. "Thank the Gods you're all right! What happened?"
The Jedi brought his hands up, feeling around him. "A-Amidala?"
"Yes! I'm here, Obi-Wan. You're okay now," she said, tightening her grip around him.
Obi-Wan's hands touched her arm, moving faster. He held Amidala's arm tightly.
"What's wrong?" she asked, concerned. He was acting very peculiar and wasn't looking at her. Amidala reached out and turned Obi-Wan's face toward hers. He trembled under her touch.
"Amidala.....I-I.... " he stuttered.
Something is very wrong, Amidala thought. "Tell me, what is it?"
"Amidala....I can't see."
~*~
A half an hour later, Obi-Wan was sitting on his bed, Amidala across from him. She was looking into his eyes intently. "Can't you see me?" she asked, practically begging.
".....I can't."
"Focus, Obi-Wan. I'm sitting right here, in front of you. Don't try so hard and just relax," Amidala told him.
A moment of silence passed. "I'm sorry, Amidala...I can't see anything. Only darkness. I can hear you...I can touch you...but I can't....see you."
"How did it happen?" she asked.
"I stepped on a potted planet on the balcony, lost my balance, and hit my head on the railing," Obi-Wan answered. "I awoke to you shaking me, and....all was black."
"Oh my," Amidala whispered. "But Obi-Wan you can't be blind, you just can't be!"
"...Amidala...I am. There's nothing I can do."
Obi-Wan, unsuspecting, immediately began trembling as Amidala hugged him. "What is it?" she asked.
"I...I can't see you...you scared me..."
Tears came to the Queen's eyes. She bit her lower lip as she stared at Obi-Wan, knowing what this all meant. "Let me help you," she said. "Even if you can't use your eyes to see, you can use your hands."
"I don't know, Amidala...why bother?" he said depressingly. "You can't help me and I can't help myself."
Amidala wiped her eyes. "You're wrong, Obi-Wan," she said, trying to cover the quivering from crying in her voice. I can't let him hear me cry for him. I have to be strong for him. "I care for you deeply...and I am going to help you regain your strength."
To Be Continued. . .