Chapter Five: The Mansion
The mansion was the same as he remembered. Angel stood in the doorway and
looked into the great hall. The furniture was missing of course and it was older
but for him it was the same. The house he'd called his home for a short time
after his return from hell. Actually it had been almost a year, but for a vampire that meant nothing. For Angel it meant everything. Sure, he'd made love to Buffy before he went to hell and yet they'd never been closer than they had been in this building.
They'd shared so many things. Although they had been forced to keep their hands
off each other their souls had been touching each and every second. Here he had
held her the day she thought she'd lost her slayer powers. Maybe it had been
the day for her to realize that she couldn't escape her fate because her
conscience wouldn't let her. Here she'd come to him trying to get into his head
to deal with her jealousy towards Faith. He had to laugh at that. Faith was a
good friend after she'd come out of prison, but for the things that mattered she
couldn't have held a candle to Buffy. Not for him that was.
Someone had been here. There were flowers everywhere and they'd prepared the
building for a gathering. A noise startled him and he turned around. "Anne," he
said to the girl who was coming up behind him.
"Angel," she gave him a shaky smile and angrily wiped a tear away that rolled
down her cheek, "I'm SO not looking forward to this. I don't want to listen to
people talking about them. They're dead and gone."
He studied her face for a long time. She missed her parents and her
grand-mother and reacted the way many people did, with anger. For the first time
daring he reached out a hand and took hers. Relieved he realised that there
wasn't any electricity between them, no rush of passion was running through his
veins. Maybe he would be able to help her after all. "I know you feel as if
they've betrayed you by leaving like this. But you will never be able to let them go as long as you're angry with them. Only the good memories make it bearable."
"So you're just going to remember the good times and let my Grandma go. And I
thought you loved her," she shouted pulling her hand away from him.
Abruptly he turned away and his hands clenched into fists, "No," he hissed
through gritted teeth. "But that's different."
Immediately feeling guilty, she cautiously touched his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I
didn't mean to hurt you. I think," she gave him a sheepish smile when he turned
around to face her again, "I'm just beginning to learn what she meant to you.
It's hard to understand. You're so young and ... well, Granny was old."
"She was a human being," he replied simply.
"Yes," she nodded and seemed to understand the deep meaning behind his words.
"And you're not really young."
"No," a laugh escaped his throat, "not really. I'm actually over 300 years
old."
Her eyes almost bulged out of her head, "Oh my ..., " she breathed. "So you
could be her grand-dad," she had to grin at her idea.
"Add some greats and you might be right," he smiled and took a strand of her
hair in his hand, "Only your hair is different."
"It's my father's," she told him. "He had dark hair."
"I saw your mother when she was a little baby. She was very sweet."
Immediately she rolled her eyes, "My mom and sweet. Don't even go there.
Usually she was only rules and orders like Anne do this or leave that." Again
tears welled up. "God," she wiped them away, "I miss her and dad and most of
all I miss Grandma."
"I know the feeling," Angel replied and pulled her into a brotherly embrace.
"It isn't fair," she sobbed. "They were so young. Grandma wasn't really of
course," she added, when she pulled back. "But she wasn't ill or anything. I
don't understand why this happened."
The vampire looked at her with compassionate eyes. She was an eighteen year old
girl and dealing with the death of the people closest to her. What could he
tell her. That death belonged to life. What crap! It wouldn't help her at
all. And Buffy thought he was able to take care of her. Maybe she'd
overestimated his abilities. Taking a deep, unnecessary breath he said, "No, it
isn't fair."
She looked up at him with surprise in her eyes, "Do you know that you're the
first to say such a thing. My aunts, well they aren't my real aunts, but
Willow, Alicia or Candice, that's Alicia's daughter, they say it's just fate. It
happens and all I can do is accept it."
"They're right," he released her from his arms and stepped back. Seeing a
flicker of disappointment in her eyes he quickly continued, "But that doesn't
mean it's fair. But life isn't fair. At least it was never fair to your
Grandmother or I for that matter. It's just life. Either we accept what it
throws at us or we'll go insane."
A little bit annoyed she gazed at him, "Do you always sound so wise. Because if
yes, I'm not sure if I can stand you."
To her utter surprise he began to laugh. It was a deep, genuine sound. In
seeing her puzzled face, he explained, "That's what your Grandmother always said
to me, you know."
"She did? Yeah, well Grandma Buffy's always been a clever person."
"Very true," he nodded and sobered immediately. "I miss her too."
"I know," her voice was soft. "It must be torture to love someone like you did,
but not being allowed to be near her."
"It was," he said thickly, "but I wouldn't trade it for the world."
*
The memorial service started at ten. Willow had arranged it for the night and
Angel knew it was partly for him, so that he could attend it. Silently he thanked her for it and took his spot in a corner of the building. The service was to be held by a college friend of Willow's, Tara. They'd even been involved for a short time. She was the same age as the witch and the former red-head had told him that she was now a high priestess of a wiccan order. Somehow it really seemed appropriate for her to do this. She knew Buffy and was a supernatural creature like the ex-slayer.
Angel noticed that Anne came to sit between Willow and a young woman who held a
toddler on her lap. That had to be Candice. Beside the young mother sat
Willow's daughter Alicia. Both women shared the red hair of the witch, although
Alicia's resemblance to Oz wasn't anything to be overlooked.
The service started and Tara talked a little bit about Buffy's life and the
life of her daughter and son-in-law. Then she continued by describing the way
they'd perished. A machine disorder caused the plane to crash over some field
in Oregon. There had been no survivors.
Suddenly Angel heard a noise behind him and turned around only to stare at the
person standing there. His opposite eyed him for a long moment and then simply
nodded. He didn't say a word not to disturb the ceremony. There weren't many
people present. Some elderly women who'd known Buffy. Some childhood friends of
her daughter. And a 40 year old man, whom Willow had introduced as the son of
Riley Finn from his second marriage, named Ethan. He told Angel that his father
had loved Buffy very much and he'd always been sad that their marriage hadn't
worked out.
Angel had just nodded, but said nothing. He didn't want to rob the man's
illusions. Realising that Buffy would never love him the way he loved her, Riley
had become very abusive towards the end of their marriage, which had been one
of the reasons why the judge had given Buffy full custody of her children. Much
to her relief. She didn't trust the former commando anymore, not to hit them as
he'd tried to do to her. As soon as he had realised she was too strong to be
abused that way, he had tortured her with words. Sometimes this was an even more
effective form of abuse. It certainly was with Buffy, who had had a hard time to
free herself from him and the insecurities he'd implanted in her mind.
For this Brian, with his charm and almost boyish wit had been the right man for
her. Of course it broke Angel's heart even more to see she fell for him, but he
had encouraged her because Brian was good for the slayer. They laughed a lot
and he could take her mind from Riley and partially even from slaying.
The vampire looked up when he saw Tara lighting scented candles to finish the
ritual. She summoned the spirits of the dead, to give them their final peace.
Suddenly an irritated look crossed the wiccan's features and she stilled for a
moment, exchanging a glance with Willow, who stood up immediately and
approached the altar they'd set up in the great hall.
He could see them whisper and Willow shook her head. Murmurs were to be heard
from the people who had attended the service. Then the former red-head turned
around and gestured Angel to come over. Hesitantly, not really liking the idea
that everyone would see him now, he approached them.
"What happened?," he demanded in a whisper, ignoring the curious looks.
"Tara is confused, Angel. She summoned the spirits of the dead and there are
the ones of Faith and her husband, but she can't connect with Buffy. It never
happened to her before."
The Wicca nodded her head in confirm.
"What does that mean?," Angel wanted to know.
"I don't know," Tara's face wore an expression of helplessness. "I don't
understand it. Buffy wasn't evil or anything. There is no explanation."
"What do you mean evil?," he narrowed his eyes. "Would there be an explanation
if she'd been?"
"Technically, yes," the Wicca admitted, "An evil spirit, or evil soul can't be
summoned. It's never at peace and for this doesn't react to holy summons."
"No," Angel shook his head emphatically and stepped back, anger flashing in his
eyes, "You're not telling me she isn't at peace. She was the best person I've
known. She saved mankind more times than we can count." His voice was rising
slightly during his speech and more curious looks were directed to the three
persons at the altar.
Soothingly Willow put a hand on the vampire's arm, "No. Of course we don't say
that. I don't believe it either. But there has to be an explanation for this."
"Then better find it quickly, because I won't listen to this any longer."
"B-but," Tara stuttered and the vampire looked at her. "The p-problem is, we
can't complete the ritual if I cannot summon her spirit."
"Then fake it. I won't have everyone in this room second-guessing Buffy. I
won't." His voice was very firm. "Her grand-daughter is here for God's sake."
"B-but," Tara protested weakly.
"Do it," Willow took the vampire's side. "He's right. Complete the ritual. They
don't understand it anyhow. So finish it and then we'll meet at my house. Anne
will be staying there for now anyway. Maybe together we can find a way to explain it."
After a moment's hesitation Tara nodded and the vampire and the witch took
their spots again. Approaching the person who stood in the back like himself
he thought for a moment and then said, "Come to Willow's house after this. We
have to talk."
End Chapter 5.
The mansion was the same as he remembered. Angel stood in the doorway and
looked into the great hall. The furniture was missing of course and it was older
but for him it was the same. The house he'd called his home for a short time
after his return from hell. Actually it had been almost a year, but for a vampire that meant nothing. For Angel it meant everything. Sure, he'd made love to Buffy before he went to hell and yet they'd never been closer than they had been in this building.
They'd shared so many things. Although they had been forced to keep their hands
off each other their souls had been touching each and every second. Here he had
held her the day she thought she'd lost her slayer powers. Maybe it had been
the day for her to realize that she couldn't escape her fate because her
conscience wouldn't let her. Here she'd come to him trying to get into his head
to deal with her jealousy towards Faith. He had to laugh at that. Faith was a
good friend after she'd come out of prison, but for the things that mattered she
couldn't have held a candle to Buffy. Not for him that was.
Someone had been here. There were flowers everywhere and they'd prepared the
building for a gathering. A noise startled him and he turned around. "Anne," he
said to the girl who was coming up behind him.
"Angel," she gave him a shaky smile and angrily wiped a tear away that rolled
down her cheek, "I'm SO not looking forward to this. I don't want to listen to
people talking about them. They're dead and gone."
He studied her face for a long time. She missed her parents and her
grand-mother and reacted the way many people did, with anger. For the first time
daring he reached out a hand and took hers. Relieved he realised that there
wasn't any electricity between them, no rush of passion was running through his
veins. Maybe he would be able to help her after all. "I know you feel as if
they've betrayed you by leaving like this. But you will never be able to let them go as long as you're angry with them. Only the good memories make it bearable."
"So you're just going to remember the good times and let my Grandma go. And I
thought you loved her," she shouted pulling her hand away from him.
Abruptly he turned away and his hands clenched into fists, "No," he hissed
through gritted teeth. "But that's different."
Immediately feeling guilty, she cautiously touched his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I
didn't mean to hurt you. I think," she gave him a sheepish smile when he turned
around to face her again, "I'm just beginning to learn what she meant to you.
It's hard to understand. You're so young and ... well, Granny was old."
"She was a human being," he replied simply.
"Yes," she nodded and seemed to understand the deep meaning behind his words.
"And you're not really young."
"No," a laugh escaped his throat, "not really. I'm actually over 300 years
old."
Her eyes almost bulged out of her head, "Oh my ..., " she breathed. "So you
could be her grand-dad," she had to grin at her idea.
"Add some greats and you might be right," he smiled and took a strand of her
hair in his hand, "Only your hair is different."
"It's my father's," she told him. "He had dark hair."
"I saw your mother when she was a little baby. She was very sweet."
Immediately she rolled her eyes, "My mom and sweet. Don't even go there.
Usually she was only rules and orders like Anne do this or leave that." Again
tears welled up. "God," she wiped them away, "I miss her and dad and most of
all I miss Grandma."
"I know the feeling," Angel replied and pulled her into a brotherly embrace.
"It isn't fair," she sobbed. "They were so young. Grandma wasn't really of
course," she added, when she pulled back. "But she wasn't ill or anything. I
don't understand why this happened."
The vampire looked at her with compassionate eyes. She was an eighteen year old
girl and dealing with the death of the people closest to her. What could he
tell her. That death belonged to life. What crap! It wouldn't help her at
all. And Buffy thought he was able to take care of her. Maybe she'd
overestimated his abilities. Taking a deep, unnecessary breath he said, "No, it
isn't fair."
She looked up at him with surprise in her eyes, "Do you know that you're the
first to say such a thing. My aunts, well they aren't my real aunts, but
Willow, Alicia or Candice, that's Alicia's daughter, they say it's just fate. It
happens and all I can do is accept it."
"They're right," he released her from his arms and stepped back. Seeing a
flicker of disappointment in her eyes he quickly continued, "But that doesn't
mean it's fair. But life isn't fair. At least it was never fair to your
Grandmother or I for that matter. It's just life. Either we accept what it
throws at us or we'll go insane."
A little bit annoyed she gazed at him, "Do you always sound so wise. Because if
yes, I'm not sure if I can stand you."
To her utter surprise he began to laugh. It was a deep, genuine sound. In
seeing her puzzled face, he explained, "That's what your Grandmother always said
to me, you know."
"She did? Yeah, well Grandma Buffy's always been a clever person."
"Very true," he nodded and sobered immediately. "I miss her too."
"I know," her voice was soft. "It must be torture to love someone like you did,
but not being allowed to be near her."
"It was," he said thickly, "but I wouldn't trade it for the world."
*
The memorial service started at ten. Willow had arranged it for the night and
Angel knew it was partly for him, so that he could attend it. Silently he thanked her for it and took his spot in a corner of the building. The service was to be held by a college friend of Willow's, Tara. They'd even been involved for a short time. She was the same age as the witch and the former red-head had told him that she was now a high priestess of a wiccan order. Somehow it really seemed appropriate for her to do this. She knew Buffy and was a supernatural creature like the ex-slayer.
Angel noticed that Anne came to sit between Willow and a young woman who held a
toddler on her lap. That had to be Candice. Beside the young mother sat
Willow's daughter Alicia. Both women shared the red hair of the witch, although
Alicia's resemblance to Oz wasn't anything to be overlooked.
The service started and Tara talked a little bit about Buffy's life and the
life of her daughter and son-in-law. Then she continued by describing the way
they'd perished. A machine disorder caused the plane to crash over some field
in Oregon. There had been no survivors.
Suddenly Angel heard a noise behind him and turned around only to stare at the
person standing there. His opposite eyed him for a long moment and then simply
nodded. He didn't say a word not to disturb the ceremony. There weren't many
people present. Some elderly women who'd known Buffy. Some childhood friends of
her daughter. And a 40 year old man, whom Willow had introduced as the son of
Riley Finn from his second marriage, named Ethan. He told Angel that his father
had loved Buffy very much and he'd always been sad that their marriage hadn't
worked out.
Angel had just nodded, but said nothing. He didn't want to rob the man's
illusions. Realising that Buffy would never love him the way he loved her, Riley
had become very abusive towards the end of their marriage, which had been one
of the reasons why the judge had given Buffy full custody of her children. Much
to her relief. She didn't trust the former commando anymore, not to hit them as
he'd tried to do to her. As soon as he had realised she was too strong to be
abused that way, he had tortured her with words. Sometimes this was an even more
effective form of abuse. It certainly was with Buffy, who had had a hard time to
free herself from him and the insecurities he'd implanted in her mind.
For this Brian, with his charm and almost boyish wit had been the right man for
her. Of course it broke Angel's heart even more to see she fell for him, but he
had encouraged her because Brian was good for the slayer. They laughed a lot
and he could take her mind from Riley and partially even from slaying.
The vampire looked up when he saw Tara lighting scented candles to finish the
ritual. She summoned the spirits of the dead, to give them their final peace.
Suddenly an irritated look crossed the wiccan's features and she stilled for a
moment, exchanging a glance with Willow, who stood up immediately and
approached the altar they'd set up in the great hall.
He could see them whisper and Willow shook her head. Murmurs were to be heard
from the people who had attended the service. Then the former red-head turned
around and gestured Angel to come over. Hesitantly, not really liking the idea
that everyone would see him now, he approached them.
"What happened?," he demanded in a whisper, ignoring the curious looks.
"Tara is confused, Angel. She summoned the spirits of the dead and there are
the ones of Faith and her husband, but she can't connect with Buffy. It never
happened to her before."
The Wicca nodded her head in confirm.
"What does that mean?," Angel wanted to know.
"I don't know," Tara's face wore an expression of helplessness. "I don't
understand it. Buffy wasn't evil or anything. There is no explanation."
"What do you mean evil?," he narrowed his eyes. "Would there be an explanation
if she'd been?"
"Technically, yes," the Wicca admitted, "An evil spirit, or evil soul can't be
summoned. It's never at peace and for this doesn't react to holy summons."
"No," Angel shook his head emphatically and stepped back, anger flashing in his
eyes, "You're not telling me she isn't at peace. She was the best person I've
known. She saved mankind more times than we can count." His voice was rising
slightly during his speech and more curious looks were directed to the three
persons at the altar.
Soothingly Willow put a hand on the vampire's arm, "No. Of course we don't say
that. I don't believe it either. But there has to be an explanation for this."
"Then better find it quickly, because I won't listen to this any longer."
"B-but," Tara stuttered and the vampire looked at her. "The p-problem is, we
can't complete the ritual if I cannot summon her spirit."
"Then fake it. I won't have everyone in this room second-guessing Buffy. I
won't." His voice was very firm. "Her grand-daughter is here for God's sake."
"B-but," Tara protested weakly.
"Do it," Willow took the vampire's side. "He's right. Complete the ritual. They
don't understand it anyhow. So finish it and then we'll meet at my house. Anne
will be staying there for now anyway. Maybe together we can find a way to explain it."
After a moment's hesitation Tara nodded and the vampire and the witch took
their spots again. Approaching the person who stood in the back like himself
he thought for a moment and then said, "Come to Willow's house after this. We
have to talk."
End Chapter 5.