Chapter 11: The Wiccas
Anne sat in her classroom staring into space. Somehow she couldn't shrug off
the feeling that she didn't belong here. It was as if she was cut into two
halves. As if there were two parts struggling inside of her and she couldn't get
a hold on. She'd actually looked forward to school on Monday. Seeing Karen,
laughing with her, but now she hated it. It didn't get her mind off the weekend.
Soon after they'd arrived at Willow's house Angel had disappeared into the
basement and avoided her for the rest of the weekend. Once or twice she'd found
him whispering with the former red-head, but as soon as he'd spotted her he'd
left the room. He obviously hated her for what had happened the night of Karen's
birthday. And maybe he hated himself even more for wanting her, for giving in to
passion and desire.
But oh, it had felt so right. So wonderful as if finding the second half of
her. And she knew for sure that she would never find the same with anyone else.
It had always been like this. She'd known it all her life ... whoa, where had
that thought come from? She could feel the blood drain from her face trying to
evaluate this special image. Her and Angel close to each other, hugging each
other. But the woman in his arms wasn't really her. It was ... God, now she
started even during the day seeing him with her grandmother. Was this a foul play of her conscience to tell her it was wrong to feel that way?
But why would her whole being cry out for him then? Every fibre in her body
felt drawn to him. The mere thought of being separated from him, being refused by him caused pure agony. She had to make him see it wasn't wrong. How could
something be wrong that felt so wonderful, so right? She would make him see, yes
tonight she would talk to him and make him see.
*****
In Willow's house at the same time Tara and the former red-head set everything
up for a familiar ritual. Willow had thought Angel was crazy at first when he had approached her on Saturday to contact Tara for another soul summoning ritual, but his voice had sounded so urgent and so pleading at the same time, that she'd given in. Even if she didn't understand what he was hoping to get from this she could see the deep pain and confusion in his eyes. And she could understand him. The thought of Buffy's soul not being at peace made her sick too.
"I... I'm ready," Tara said hesitantly after a moment. She was dressed in a
white gown and had set up her candles and the herbs she needed. "We can do it
now."
"Good," Angel had been pacing the room all the time. He was impatient and very
agitated. Now he stopped at looked at the witches, "I'm very grateful for this.
I just ... well," he seemed to think about something, but then decided otherwise, "just let's get started. I don't want Anne to run into this."
"Sure," Willow nodded, understanding that he didn't want to burden the girl
with the experience.
Tara began to chant and lit her scented candles. Willow burnt the herbs in a
pot and smiling slightly she explained Angel that she'd found a way to make them
smell better. He didn't even blink at her, too concentrated on what was going
on. Tara spoke softly and recited the lines from her memory. She'd become one of
the most experienced wiccas in the country. Many people contacted her to help
them and even in her advanced age she was used to travelling long distances. So
she hadn't hesitated to follow Willow's plea.
After a minute she stopped chanting and shook her head sadly, "I'm sorry. It
still doesn't work. Her spirit, her soul, doesn't react."
To both witches' surprise Angel just nodded and seemed deep in thoughts. Then
he raised his head and looked at them. He spoke slowly, but his voice was firm,
"Then I have another plea. A request. Could you," he talked to Tara but his eyes
were on Willow now, "could you summon Anne's spirit instead?"
"WHAT?," the former red-head shouted in disbelief and shock. "What are you
talking about? Angel this isn't some funny game. Don't you trust Tara, do you
want to test her?"
"No," he shook his head emphatically. "I can't explain this, not now. Maybe
later. Please."
"B-But I c-can't summon a s-spirit of a l-living human b-being," Tara was pale
as a sheet. What shocked her even more was the determination in Angel's voice.
She didn't know the vampire very well, had seen him only during his visits with
Buffy all these years ago and then at the memorial service but so far she'd
thought of him as a reasonable person.
"You must be mad," Willow looked at the vampire in disgust. "What's behind all
this? I'm not going to do..."
"Willow," his voice sounded desperate, "please trust me in this. I don't want
to say anything. There are things ... some things happened with ... with Anne ... and me," he ran his hand over his face and then through his hair. This was so hard, "I cannot explain it right now. I need to know first. I need to know for sure!" His desperate, pleading tone had changed into demanding.
"M-maybe w-we just d-do it," Tara laid a soothing hand on her friend's arm.
"I-it won't h-harm her."
Willow gazed at her and then at Angel. If looks could kill Angel would've been
disintegrated right now. But then something like defeat entered her eyes and
her shoulders slumped, "Alright," she said with a sigh. "But you will explain
later."
"I will," Angel replied eagerly. "I promise."
"O-okay," Tara turned and started the ritual again. She lit her candles and
Willow burnt the herbs. She was like in trance for ten minutes and when she
turned back to two other people in the room she was even paler than before.
"What?," Willow demanded, while Angel surprisingly seemed to relax, somehow
knowing what the Wicca would say.
"H-how d-did you know?," Tara asked him hoarsely.
"I knew, I just wanted to be hundred percent certain," he said simply.
She just nodded and turned towards Willow who looked at her impatiently. "It
worked," she told her. "I could summon Anne's spirit."
All blood drained from Willow's face and with a little cry she sunk down on a
near by chair, while a shaking hand was covering her mouth. Silence stretched
in the room, until she finally asked Angel with tearful eyes, "What happened?"
He kneeled down in front of her, "I'm not sure. You remember that I told you
she stopped breathing after the Morah-demon attacked her." When he saw Willow nod he continued, "shortly afterwards, no, immediately after this our relationship ... changed. I touched her and it was ... like electricity bolting through me. It had never been like this before with Anne. I saw her as a daughter, I liked her, even loved her, but never ... not once ... felt sexually attracted to her. All of a sudden that had changed."
He got up and began to pace the room again, unable to not move. Shortly
glancing at Tara, who was listening as well, he went on, "It almost drove me
crazy. I didn't want to be attracted to her. She was Buffy's grand-child and I
was lusting after her. I was disgusted by my body's reactions, the desire I
suddenly felt for her. First I tried to convince myself it had just been a
reaction to the danger, but soon I had to accept it wasn't that way."
Angel stopped and took a deep breath, facing the two wiccas again, "You
remember the evening you told me she was with a guy. It almost drove me over the
edge to think of another one touching her. I left the house, honestly discussing
my sanity when I almost unconsciously arrived at the Crush, that's the club they
were to celebrate her friend's birthday," he explained for Tara. "I went in and
had to summon every bit of my self-control not to storm onto the dance-floor and
rip the guy apart."
He sighed and shook his head, letting out an unhappy laugh, "We left shortly
afterwards and she was mocking me for behaving like a jealous lover and ...,"
he bowed his head in embarrassment, "something inside of me snapped and I
... I kissed her. It was like a thunderstorm." Looking up again, he took a spot
on one of the sofas, "I can't even explain it. It was as if floodgates in my soul were opening and my spirit reached out for hers ... and found it. I was shocked at first, horrified to find the same things in Anne that I had in Buffy, but then suddenly it was like curtains torn from my mind. I just knew."
Willow stared at him for a long moment and then said slowly, "What you're
telling us is that it's Buffy's soul inside Anne's body?"
He nodded in confirm, "Yes. Don't ask me why, but I just knew. The moment we
were kissing there was no way denying it anymore."
"Oh God," the former red-head's eyes shimmered with tears. "The morning after
the fight with the demon she told me she'd dreamt about Buffy and you," she told
them, "she said there had been so many images in her head, she couldn't place.
She told me she'd seen Xander and Cordy when they were young. You and Buffy
kissing." She shook her head, not able to process what she now began to believe.
"She gave her friend a bracelet for her birthday. It had a Claddagh symbol on
it," Angel added this piece of information. "Anne was just laughing about these
things, but Buffy," his voice almost broke, "Buffy would've known."
"B-but why?" Tara was believing but not understanding.
Helplessly Angel moved his shoulders, "I don't know. I cannot tell you." But
suddenly a look of determination entered his eyes, "But I know a person who
can. Willow, tell Anne ... Buffy ... well, tell her I had to leave town. I have
to find Whistler. He's the only one to explain this. I need to contact him and
get him here. And don't tell her. Try to act as normally as possible. We have no
idea what side-effects this has. How she would react if we just confront her with the truth. She still acts more like Anne. Maybe Whistler can explain that too." His hands clenched into fists, "Somehow I have a feeling he knew right from the start."
End Chapter 11.
Anne sat in her classroom staring into space. Somehow she couldn't shrug off
the feeling that she didn't belong here. It was as if she was cut into two
halves. As if there were two parts struggling inside of her and she couldn't get
a hold on. She'd actually looked forward to school on Monday. Seeing Karen,
laughing with her, but now she hated it. It didn't get her mind off the weekend.
Soon after they'd arrived at Willow's house Angel had disappeared into the
basement and avoided her for the rest of the weekend. Once or twice she'd found
him whispering with the former red-head, but as soon as he'd spotted her he'd
left the room. He obviously hated her for what had happened the night of Karen's
birthday. And maybe he hated himself even more for wanting her, for giving in to
passion and desire.
But oh, it had felt so right. So wonderful as if finding the second half of
her. And she knew for sure that she would never find the same with anyone else.
It had always been like this. She'd known it all her life ... whoa, where had
that thought come from? She could feel the blood drain from her face trying to
evaluate this special image. Her and Angel close to each other, hugging each
other. But the woman in his arms wasn't really her. It was ... God, now she
started even during the day seeing him with her grandmother. Was this a foul play of her conscience to tell her it was wrong to feel that way?
But why would her whole being cry out for him then? Every fibre in her body
felt drawn to him. The mere thought of being separated from him, being refused by him caused pure agony. She had to make him see it wasn't wrong. How could
something be wrong that felt so wonderful, so right? She would make him see, yes
tonight she would talk to him and make him see.
*****
In Willow's house at the same time Tara and the former red-head set everything
up for a familiar ritual. Willow had thought Angel was crazy at first when he had approached her on Saturday to contact Tara for another soul summoning ritual, but his voice had sounded so urgent and so pleading at the same time, that she'd given in. Even if she didn't understand what he was hoping to get from this she could see the deep pain and confusion in his eyes. And she could understand him. The thought of Buffy's soul not being at peace made her sick too.
"I... I'm ready," Tara said hesitantly after a moment. She was dressed in a
white gown and had set up her candles and the herbs she needed. "We can do it
now."
"Good," Angel had been pacing the room all the time. He was impatient and very
agitated. Now he stopped at looked at the witches, "I'm very grateful for this.
I just ... well," he seemed to think about something, but then decided otherwise, "just let's get started. I don't want Anne to run into this."
"Sure," Willow nodded, understanding that he didn't want to burden the girl
with the experience.
Tara began to chant and lit her scented candles. Willow burnt the herbs in a
pot and smiling slightly she explained Angel that she'd found a way to make them
smell better. He didn't even blink at her, too concentrated on what was going
on. Tara spoke softly and recited the lines from her memory. She'd become one of
the most experienced wiccas in the country. Many people contacted her to help
them and even in her advanced age she was used to travelling long distances. So
she hadn't hesitated to follow Willow's plea.
After a minute she stopped chanting and shook her head sadly, "I'm sorry. It
still doesn't work. Her spirit, her soul, doesn't react."
To both witches' surprise Angel just nodded and seemed deep in thoughts. Then
he raised his head and looked at them. He spoke slowly, but his voice was firm,
"Then I have another plea. A request. Could you," he talked to Tara but his eyes
were on Willow now, "could you summon Anne's spirit instead?"
"WHAT?," the former red-head shouted in disbelief and shock. "What are you
talking about? Angel this isn't some funny game. Don't you trust Tara, do you
want to test her?"
"No," he shook his head emphatically. "I can't explain this, not now. Maybe
later. Please."
"B-But I c-can't summon a s-spirit of a l-living human b-being," Tara was pale
as a sheet. What shocked her even more was the determination in Angel's voice.
She didn't know the vampire very well, had seen him only during his visits with
Buffy all these years ago and then at the memorial service but so far she'd
thought of him as a reasonable person.
"You must be mad," Willow looked at the vampire in disgust. "What's behind all
this? I'm not going to do..."
"Willow," his voice sounded desperate, "please trust me in this. I don't want
to say anything. There are things ... some things happened with ... with Anne ... and me," he ran his hand over his face and then through his hair. This was so hard, "I cannot explain it right now. I need to know first. I need to know for sure!" His desperate, pleading tone had changed into demanding.
"M-maybe w-we just d-do it," Tara laid a soothing hand on her friend's arm.
"I-it won't h-harm her."
Willow gazed at her and then at Angel. If looks could kill Angel would've been
disintegrated right now. But then something like defeat entered her eyes and
her shoulders slumped, "Alright," she said with a sigh. "But you will explain
later."
"I will," Angel replied eagerly. "I promise."
"O-okay," Tara turned and started the ritual again. She lit her candles and
Willow burnt the herbs. She was like in trance for ten minutes and when she
turned back to two other people in the room she was even paler than before.
"What?," Willow demanded, while Angel surprisingly seemed to relax, somehow
knowing what the Wicca would say.
"H-how d-did you know?," Tara asked him hoarsely.
"I knew, I just wanted to be hundred percent certain," he said simply.
She just nodded and turned towards Willow who looked at her impatiently. "It
worked," she told her. "I could summon Anne's spirit."
All blood drained from Willow's face and with a little cry she sunk down on a
near by chair, while a shaking hand was covering her mouth. Silence stretched
in the room, until she finally asked Angel with tearful eyes, "What happened?"
He kneeled down in front of her, "I'm not sure. You remember that I told you
she stopped breathing after the Morah-demon attacked her." When he saw Willow nod he continued, "shortly afterwards, no, immediately after this our relationship ... changed. I touched her and it was ... like electricity bolting through me. It had never been like this before with Anne. I saw her as a daughter, I liked her, even loved her, but never ... not once ... felt sexually attracted to her. All of a sudden that had changed."
He got up and began to pace the room again, unable to not move. Shortly
glancing at Tara, who was listening as well, he went on, "It almost drove me
crazy. I didn't want to be attracted to her. She was Buffy's grand-child and I
was lusting after her. I was disgusted by my body's reactions, the desire I
suddenly felt for her. First I tried to convince myself it had just been a
reaction to the danger, but soon I had to accept it wasn't that way."
Angel stopped and took a deep breath, facing the two wiccas again, "You
remember the evening you told me she was with a guy. It almost drove me over the
edge to think of another one touching her. I left the house, honestly discussing
my sanity when I almost unconsciously arrived at the Crush, that's the club they
were to celebrate her friend's birthday," he explained for Tara. "I went in and
had to summon every bit of my self-control not to storm onto the dance-floor and
rip the guy apart."
He sighed and shook his head, letting out an unhappy laugh, "We left shortly
afterwards and she was mocking me for behaving like a jealous lover and ...,"
he bowed his head in embarrassment, "something inside of me snapped and I
... I kissed her. It was like a thunderstorm." Looking up again, he took a spot
on one of the sofas, "I can't even explain it. It was as if floodgates in my soul were opening and my spirit reached out for hers ... and found it. I was shocked at first, horrified to find the same things in Anne that I had in Buffy, but then suddenly it was like curtains torn from my mind. I just knew."
Willow stared at him for a long moment and then said slowly, "What you're
telling us is that it's Buffy's soul inside Anne's body?"
He nodded in confirm, "Yes. Don't ask me why, but I just knew. The moment we
were kissing there was no way denying it anymore."
"Oh God," the former red-head's eyes shimmered with tears. "The morning after
the fight with the demon she told me she'd dreamt about Buffy and you," she told
them, "she said there had been so many images in her head, she couldn't place.
She told me she'd seen Xander and Cordy when they were young. You and Buffy
kissing." She shook her head, not able to process what she now began to believe.
"She gave her friend a bracelet for her birthday. It had a Claddagh symbol on
it," Angel added this piece of information. "Anne was just laughing about these
things, but Buffy," his voice almost broke, "Buffy would've known."
"B-but why?" Tara was believing but not understanding.
Helplessly Angel moved his shoulders, "I don't know. I cannot tell you." But
suddenly a look of determination entered his eyes, "But I know a person who
can. Willow, tell Anne ... Buffy ... well, tell her I had to leave town. I have
to find Whistler. He's the only one to explain this. I need to contact him and
get him here. And don't tell her. Try to act as normally as possible. We have no
idea what side-effects this has. How she would react if we just confront her with the truth. She still acts more like Anne. Maybe Whistler can explain that too." His hands clenched into fists, "Somehow I have a feeling he knew right from the start."
End Chapter 11.