familyties13

Willow relayed the circumstances of Buffy's return, leaving out the part where the Powers That Be said that the Key was not meant to remain in human form. Dawn had already known that she was the one that was supposed to die up on the tower, and there was no need to give her anything else to worry or speculate about.

After her revelation of Buffy's after-death experience sunk in, Willow plunged ahead, explaining what she wanted to try in order to reach Buffy. For a few moments everyone was silent, but body language spoke volumes.

Willow, Dawn and Spike stood together, already in agreement over Willow's suggestion. Anya and Tara hung back without expression, Giles looked skeptical and worried, and Xander had his arms crossed, his jaw set in a stubborn line.

Finally, Xander spoke, addressing Willow but eyeing Spike.

Well, what if there are, like, signs or something? You know, that he needs to read so he can help her?

Spike shrugged confidently.

You live with a bird who has visions for a hundred years, you learn to read signs.

Xander remained unconvinced, and Spike sighed.

What have we got to lose? Will coudn't get in, and she was our big hope! Willow flinched at the fear and frustration beneath his words, but nodded her agreement.

Xander's shoulders drooped and he leaned heavily against the display counter. He had to admit, it seemed like their best bet, and he doubted Willow would try something unless she was sure it was safe.

Willow turned to Giles, as if it were up to him to give the final go-ahead. He came over to face Willow and Spike, reading their earnest expressions.

Willow, I assume you wouldn't do this if you thought someone might get injured. And, you have been in both Spike and Buffy's mind before, so I suppose that you would know best whether this could work. I'll do whatever you need to help.

Willow beamed at him, and Spike grinned in relief while Dawn hugged Giles with gratitude.

Okay, Spike, Giles. Let's go into the training room. We need to draw the pentagram and bless the space before we can begin. Dawnie, you stay out here with Tara, Anya and Xander. Dawn and Xander made as if to protest, but Willow waved them silent.

We're dealing with magic and I don't need any extra energy or tension in the room.

Tara genly laid her arm around Dawn's shoulders and smiled at her young friend. Don't worry, Dawnie. They'll let us know as soon as they're done.

Dawn nodded and sat down, praying to whoever would listen that this time, Buffy would be brought back.

Willow turned and went into the training room, shutting the door behind her. Giles and Spike had already begun drawing the pentagram around Buffy's upright, sleeping form. Once that was complete, Willow told Giles what she needed for the initial spell and turned to Spike.

Get in the circle and sit directly across from Buffy, between the two bottom legs of the pentagram.

Giles returned to the circle with a dried sage bundle and a small vial of bindwort oil. Handing the oil to Willow, he then lit the sage bundle and began the purification of the circle. Buffy was seated in the center of the pentagram, and Spike sat across from her as Willow had directed. Willow herself sat at one of the shoulders' of the star, and Giles closed the circle then took his seat at the other, carefully laying the smouldering sage aside so that the burning herbs would remain smoking. Taking the vial back from Willow, he anointed her and Spike's foreheads with bindwort oil and recited,

As a mind, be one. As a strength, be one. Use the power of white to transform the gray, let no form of evil have power to sway.

Willow had suggested using this incantation to bind them so that Spike could use Willow's power as a conduit during the ritual, and also to prevent the possibility of Spike vamping out while unconscious.

Both Spike and Willow's eyes flashed white energy and then Spike's eyes
flashed golden as he growled, as if his demon nature was protesting before it
retreated. The vampire paused, as if assessing something, then smiled
confidently.

Shouldn't be a bother.

After casting the spell for Buffy's vision, a modified version of the incantation he'd used to call Buffy's spirit guide, Giles began to chant his request to the Guardians of Spirit that Spike be allowed access to that vision while Willow linked her mind with the vampire's. She then connected with Buffy's mind, creating a kind of psychic tunnel for Spike to travel along. As he sunk into a trance, Willow spoke to his mind, Bring her back to us, Spike.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


Spike opened his eyes and was surprised to find himself in the desert, sitting in front of a large fire; he'd expected to be in the room with the wall Willow had described. Shooting a glance around the fire, he saw Buffy sitting next to him. He turned to face her, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for him to be there.

Hello, pet. Fancy meeting you here.

She smiled faintly but continued to stare into the fire. After a few moments, she broke the silence.

Death is my gift, you know.

Spike nodded. But you already gave that gift. Now you need to come back and be with us. We love you, and we need you.

Buffy glanced around nervously.

But every time I try, she comes back.

Spike glanced around to make sure they were still alone.

The First Slayer. I'm so tired of fighting; I can't match her. She comes when I try to leave, and suddenly I feel like I can't move.

Spike reached out and tentatively touched her arm.

That's why I'm here. To help you.

Buffy turned to look at him. Do you think we can get past her? Can we get away?

Spike studied her intently before answering.

Buffy, you can never completely escape the nature of the First Slayer; her power is part of you. But you can accept that you are so much more than just a Slayer.

Suddenly, a dark figure appeared across the fire, and Spike tensed. But she made no move to come near them. She regarded Spike for a few seconds, then turned her gaze to Buffy.

You are full of love.

Buffy shrugged, meeting the First Slayer's steady gaze.

Heard that before.

The shadowy form shook her head, then pointed at Buffy.

You must let go of that love, give it away completely. Only then will you be free.

I tried that. She turned to stare into the fire, and images of Angel, then Riley, flickered within the flames. Spike scowled but spoke gently.

You loved Angel, yes. But you weren't meant to be together. You're both warriors and are needed to fight separate battles.

He paused. You couldn't love Riley the way he needed to be loved, but that wasn't your fault.

Buffy didn't respond, but Spike knew he had to make her understand.

Pet, Angel was also Angelus. Angelus is always there, fighting for control, even if it was Angel you were with. You couldn't love the monster in the man.

He struggled to keep the resentment out of his voice and continued.

But then, you thought you had a shot with Riley. But he was just too normal, not enough monster in him to match your own darkness.

Buffy turned to him, eyes wide and searching, but still said nothing.

He then repeated what he'd said to her that fateful night--the night she'd died--only this time he finished.

I know I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man, and that's more than I could have ever hoped for. More than I deserved.

He swallowed thickly, fingering the spot she'd bitten; even though the wound had healed over, the mark was permanent.

I know that you can love me as the Slayer. But can you love me as Buffy? Can you allow me into your heart, both the monster and the man? The way I love the Slayer and the woman?

Buffy's eyes glistened as she broke their gaze to look across at the Slayer, who still hadn't made a move to come any closer.

The First cocked her head at Buffy. You are full of love.

Buffy turned back to Spike, keeping the Slayer in her peripheral vision.

Maybe, if we put enough distance between me and her, I can be strong enough to leave.

Spike sighed his relief, then looked around them at the empty desert.

How about...a horse? He cocked his eyebrow at her.

Buffy smiled at his suggestion, then closed her eyes in concentration. Suddenly, a
silky black Arabian stallion appeared off to the side of the clearing.

The First growled and the horse neighed, then trotted off to stand a few paces behind the dark Slayer.

Spike turned to Buffy. You're still going to have to get past her, pet. You can't leave until you put her in her place.

Suddenly, he was astride the horse, watching her from his seat in the saddle.

You must fight your way to me, Buffy, he said softly.

She was still seated on the rock, her glance darting from Spike to the Slayer.

The First spoke. You must be alone, or you must fight. It is your choice.

Suddenly Buffy was on her feet, the power coiled within her slight frame ready to be released.

She began to round the circle. I was getting sick of your company anyway. Not much of a conversationalist, are you?

She faced the First and dropped into a crouch. The First smiled ferally and lunged, throwing a punch which Buffy easily blocked. As they began to fight, Spike noted that the First Slayer's every move was blocked and then repeated by Buffy, but with success. If the First did a roundhouse kick, Buffy dodged it then landed a perfectly executed kick of her own.

Soon, Buffy was standing next to the horse, barely panting. She faced the First as if waiting for another attack, but the First retreated to the other side of the fire, to where Buffy had been sitting earlier, and then spoke a final time.

You have given your gift. You are full of love. You must not only survive--

The First paused and Spike finished softly, You must live.

Buffy turned and swung herself up onto the horse in front of Spike, who helped her settle into the saddle then loosely took the reigns and remarked, I think we've got some distance to cover.

Without another look at the fire or the dark, shadowy figure behind it, Spike flicked the reigns and the horse whinnied joyfully, springing forward into the dark desert night.

They rode for what seemed like hours, saying nothing, adjusting to the rhythm set by their steed. Buffy relished the feel of the powerful animal beneath her, the sure, steady strides that never faltered, the tight muscles that rippled just below the horse's glossy dark coat.

She leaned back against Spike, and found comfort in his solid presence, his lean arms firmly capturing her against his chest. His held his seat loosely, gracefully, as if he were an extension of the horse, and she realized that she had adjusted her own carriage as well, so that she, Spike and the horse moved as one.

They allowed the stallion to direct their course, and eventually they reached a cliff that overlooked another endless expanse of silent desert. Suddenly, the horse disappeared and they found themselves standing at the edge of the escarpment, surveying the vast sea of sand and solitude that stretched out before them.

Eventually, night faded to give way to the coming daybreak, as purple and pinkish-orange tendrils began to shoot across the sky, chasing away the residual stains of darkness.

The pair watched in silence, standing side by side, fingers laced together loosely.

Without taking her eyes off the breaking light, Buffy asked quietly,

How come you came for me? I never gave you any hope, any kindness. I took
everything I needed from you, and gave you nothing.

Without turning, he squeezed her hand and held it up into the steadily brightening sunlight, understanding that he was in no danger here.

You're wrong. You gave me Dawn.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Spike's eyes snapped open at the same time as Buffy's, and she stared across
at him in amazement and wonder. Willow broke the mind connection and opened
her eyes, asking tentatively,

Buffy turned around to face Willow and smiled.

Hey, Wills.

Oh, god! Buffy! Willow scrambled to her knees and reached over to pull
Buffy into a hug. Giles had come to at the same time as Willow and regarded the two girls with relief, tears of joy glistening in his eyes.

Willow loosened her grip so that Buffy could reach over and pull Giles into her embrace as well.

After a moment, Buffy shook free.

I feel like I've been gone awhile. She grinned at them, then turned back to Spike, who was still sitting in his original position. He hadn't taken his eyes off her, and relief and happiness was written plainly on his face, but he was unsure whether he should move to embrace her.

She sat forward on her knees and regarded him for a moment before asking playfully, What....no hug?

Spike shot forward so fast that he had Buffy held firmly in his embrace before Willow or Giles even realized that he had moved.

He breathed the word into her hair, long fingers clutching her back as if he were afraid she'd wriggle free.

Without breaking his hold on her, Buffy turned her head and faced Willow and Giles.

Guys, as happy as I am to see you both, can I have some time alone with Spike? We'll be out in a minute.

Spike pulled back and looked at her, his expression inscrutable as his heart raced; he fervently hoped that she wasn't going to try and let him down easy.

Both Willow and Giles had reluctant looks on their faces but Willow nodded.

Okay, we can go tell the others the good news. She tugged at Giles until the Watcher nodded and left the room with her, closing the door behind them.

Buffy turned to Spike.



Spike swallowed and tears sprung to his eyes.

You saved me, you know. She smiled softly as she gently cupped his cheek with her hand. You've done that a lot, lately.

Spike shook his head in despair. I failed you Buffy, I couldn't stop--

Buffy shook her head to silence him. We all did what we could, what we had to do. I trusted you with Dawn, and you were willing to give your life to save her. You never failed us.

He didn't know what to say, and he was still afraid that she was going to give him the can we be friends' speech.

Spike, I can trust you.

He nodded gratefully.

Do you understand what that means? She searched his eyes before answering her own question.

After Angelus, I couldn't trust Angel. Not really, even though I had him drink from me to save his life, even though I still loved him. I never really trusted Riley, either, after I found out that he was with the Initiative. Nevermind after the whole vamp ho experience.

She pulled a face at that last thought, then put both her hands on his shoulders, fingers cupping the back of his neck.

Trust means everything to me. I can't love without trust. I can't accept the monster if I don't trust the man.

Spike stared at her as the meaning of what she was trying to say hit him.

He began slowly, as if he didn't trust his grasp of language to interpret what she was saying.

So, if you trust me, then...then, maybe, someday you could love me?

The hope that shone through the love in his eyes made her giggle happily.

Spike, you silly beast, I already do love you.

Spike fell back onto his heels in shock.



She grinned. I guess after all the grief I've given you, you deserve to hear it again. I love you, Spike.

He pulled her into a fierce hug, his entire body trembling with emotion. She moved her head to nuzzle his neck, then remembered something. One hand flew to her neck where the marks Spike had left were almost healed. She had claimed him before, true, but...



He reluctantly pulled back so he could see her face.

Yes, Buffy? His voice was so hoarse with emotion that he could barely get the words out, and his eyes shone brightly with unshed tears.

Spike, I love you, and I want to be with you. I want us to be a family with Dawn. I choose you.

Spike's piercing blue eyes widened, full of adoration and love--so much love Buffy wondered how it didn't smother him. She smiled and her heart expanded as he whispered emotionally, I chose you a long time ago, luv, and I'm all yours, from before now until after forever.

She wrapped her hand around his neck and pulled him in for a searing, passionate kiss, at once both gentle and fierce, giving and demanding. Spike put everything he was feeling into the kiss, his love and strength and passion, his loyalty and commitment. Buffy wondered how she could have denied them this bliss for so long, because it felt so right; it felt like home.

Spike pulled her even closer as he leaned her back gently onto the floor so that she was lying on her back with his arms on either side of her. He continued kissing her, nipping her bottom lip so that she allowed his tongue to explore her mouth, and then breaking away to trail butterfly kisses along her jaw and down her throat. He placed a feather light kiss above the mark--his mark--that now covered the older ones, then returned to her lips.

God, Buffy, I love you so much he whispered into her mouth as she ran her fingers through his hair.

I love you too, Spike she repeated around his kiss.

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Spike pulled away reluctantly and glared at the door while Buffy gave him a rueful grin.

Guess the others want to see the Second Coming of Buffy for themselves.

He stood up and helped her to her feet. They hadn't even gotten to the door when it burst open as Dawn rushed in, followed by Xander and Anya, Tara, Willow and Giles, who all stayed near the doorway so that Dawn could greet her sister first.

Dawn flew into Buffy's outstretched arms joyously, and as Spike came up behind her and embraced them both from behind, Buffy sighed in contentment. .