Chapter 15: The Sacrifice
Buffy doubled her efforts to find Angel, but without success. The vampire
stayed hidden. She even contacted his regular blood-supply but they hadn't seen
him for weeks, only one more point to make her worry. He had to feed, regularly,
and if he didn't ... she didn't want to think about it. The thought that he might starve himself to death was too horrible.
She tried to contact Whistler, but as she didn't know how to do it, it didn't
work.
*
Angel had more luck in finding the little annoying demon and it was 10 weeks
after the last time he'd seen Buffy when he was walking through the Sunnyrest
cemetery to meet with Whistler. For weeks now Angel had been entertaining this
idea and now he would try it. There was only one way Buffy's life could be right
again and he would do anything to achieve it.
Whistler was already sitting on a headstone, his legs dangling into the air and
when he saw the vampire he grinned, "You look like shit my friend and this is a
really inviting place for a meeting. I thought of a bar or the likes but seeing
you now I'm sure they wouldn't have let you in. What the hell did you do to
yourself?"
"It's none of your business," Angel snapped. "I'm not here to discuss my
appearance."
"Fine, fine," the demon took another long look, shook his head and sighed, "So
what can I do for you? I thought I explained everything the last time we met."
"I want you to bring her back," the vampire's voice was all but demanding.
"I already told you, I can't bring her back. I'm only the messenger."
"For God's sake Whistler, Buffy's served them for 25 years, I even longer. Does
that count for nothing. Can't they do us that little favour. I'm sure it's only a snap of the fingers for them." Exhausted because of his bad condition Angel sat down on a headstone near by.
"It isn't that easy, my friend," the demon's face was serious now. "A soul once
settled in the afterlife can't be brought back. They can only stop it from going
there, what they did with Buffy's. But Anne's lost to this world. Angel, the fate of mankind is in your hand, your hand and the slayer's. It was all done for a purpose. You cannot escape fate, you of all people should know it."
"But can't you see what it did to her. She's in so much pain," Angel's voice
was hoarse with emotion. "I...,"
"Many things will change after this last battle. The evil will be banished from
the earth. And now I'm saying something I'm not allowed to, but," he shrugged,
"well, I was never good with rules. This last battle will complete your fate,
Angel. It will be your redemption. Remember the prophecy, the one talking about
you becoming human. It will be fulfilled afterwards. You and your little slayer
will have a real chance for a normal life. What do you say now?"
"Trade it," was the only answer.
Whistler looked at the vampire in confusion, "What do you mean trade it?"
"Trade my life for Anne's. I'm staying a vampire and she can live. Life means
nothing to me if it means Buffy will hurt. Her happiness is more important than anything."
"Angel, Angel," the demon sighed. "Did you even listen to me? Anne's soul is
gone. There. Is. No. Way. Back.," he said very slowly. "Get this in your thick
skull. Besides, it's your redemption and it can't be traded. And, even if it
was possible it would mean you'd die. Because if you don't become human you'll
stay a demon with a soul and would be banished from earth with the others."
"I don't care," Angel shouted. "Do *you* listen. I. Don't. Care."
"But I do and they do too. And you can't change fate. It was always meant this
way. As it was meant that you and Buffy would work together. I admit that they
didn't plan you two falling in love, but even the Powers cannot control
everything. Some things are just meant to be. So stop fighting it. You have no
guilt in Anne's death, my friend, it was fate and Buffy will see that too."
"She doesn't even look at me," Angel said with a low voice.
"Well, she didn't have an opportunity to, I'd say," Whistler grinned. "As far
as I know you've been keeping a pretty low profile the last weeks. Maybe you
should go and see her, but you should feed and then take a shower, change your
clothes. I mean you don't smell, because vampires don't perspire, but still you
look like shit."
"You're certainly the fashion expert," Angel shot back.
"See, that's better. Get your spirit up. You have to face the fact that things
are as they are, that you can't change them. Take your slayer, fight with her,
take care of each other, survive and be happy. And now if you excuse me.
Conversations like these tire me out, I need a drink." He touched the vampire's
shoulder and squeezed it, "She loves you. I'm sure she'll come around."
As soon as the demon was gone Angel sank to the ground, his back pressed
against the headstone, his knees at his chest he felt empty and exhausted. The
fact that he hadn't taken care of himself took it's toll. There wasn't much
strength in him left. Could it be true, he thought? Would she, could she forgive
him - ever? Was there any way he could make her understand that he had tried
everything in his power to protect Anne?
God, he would be human. If they'd survive the last battle he would become human
and Buffy was alive. They could've had a future together, a real future. Even
with her memories he would've done everything to make her happy. Maybe it was
good after all, they were more even this way. She wasn't the 18 year old
teenager anymore although she had the body of one (not that this really mattered
to him), but she knew about loss, grief, death, she was much more experienced and so maybe a better partner for an over 300 year old ex-vampire like him. It would be like a dream come true. A dream he hadn't himself allowed to dream for a long time. It would also mean that he was forgiven, that he had redeemed himself. He could laugh again and not feel guilty. But it meant nothing without her.
If she couldn't forgive him nothing meant anything to him anymore. The Powers
might see him worthy to be human again, but Buffy hated him. What purpose was
there in living like that?
A noise startled him and slowly he raised his head. Expecting a demon he
wouldn't be able to fight a gasp escaped his mouth and his lips formed a name
almost inaudibly: "Buffy?"
End Chapter 15.
Buffy doubled her efforts to find Angel, but without success. The vampire
stayed hidden. She even contacted his regular blood-supply but they hadn't seen
him for weeks, only one more point to make her worry. He had to feed, regularly,
and if he didn't ... she didn't want to think about it. The thought that he might starve himself to death was too horrible.
She tried to contact Whistler, but as she didn't know how to do it, it didn't
work.
*
Angel had more luck in finding the little annoying demon and it was 10 weeks
after the last time he'd seen Buffy when he was walking through the Sunnyrest
cemetery to meet with Whistler. For weeks now Angel had been entertaining this
idea and now he would try it. There was only one way Buffy's life could be right
again and he would do anything to achieve it.
Whistler was already sitting on a headstone, his legs dangling into the air and
when he saw the vampire he grinned, "You look like shit my friend and this is a
really inviting place for a meeting. I thought of a bar or the likes but seeing
you now I'm sure they wouldn't have let you in. What the hell did you do to
yourself?"
"It's none of your business," Angel snapped. "I'm not here to discuss my
appearance."
"Fine, fine," the demon took another long look, shook his head and sighed, "So
what can I do for you? I thought I explained everything the last time we met."
"I want you to bring her back," the vampire's voice was all but demanding.
"I already told you, I can't bring her back. I'm only the messenger."
"For God's sake Whistler, Buffy's served them for 25 years, I even longer. Does
that count for nothing. Can't they do us that little favour. I'm sure it's only a snap of the fingers for them." Exhausted because of his bad condition Angel sat down on a headstone near by.
"It isn't that easy, my friend," the demon's face was serious now. "A soul once
settled in the afterlife can't be brought back. They can only stop it from going
there, what they did with Buffy's. But Anne's lost to this world. Angel, the fate of mankind is in your hand, your hand and the slayer's. It was all done for a purpose. You cannot escape fate, you of all people should know it."
"But can't you see what it did to her. She's in so much pain," Angel's voice
was hoarse with emotion. "I...,"
"Many things will change after this last battle. The evil will be banished from
the earth. And now I'm saying something I'm not allowed to, but," he shrugged,
"well, I was never good with rules. This last battle will complete your fate,
Angel. It will be your redemption. Remember the prophecy, the one talking about
you becoming human. It will be fulfilled afterwards. You and your little slayer
will have a real chance for a normal life. What do you say now?"
"Trade it," was the only answer.
Whistler looked at the vampire in confusion, "What do you mean trade it?"
"Trade my life for Anne's. I'm staying a vampire and she can live. Life means
nothing to me if it means Buffy will hurt. Her happiness is more important than anything."
"Angel, Angel," the demon sighed. "Did you even listen to me? Anne's soul is
gone. There. Is. No. Way. Back.," he said very slowly. "Get this in your thick
skull. Besides, it's your redemption and it can't be traded. And, even if it
was possible it would mean you'd die. Because if you don't become human you'll
stay a demon with a soul and would be banished from earth with the others."
"I don't care," Angel shouted. "Do *you* listen. I. Don't. Care."
"But I do and they do too. And you can't change fate. It was always meant this
way. As it was meant that you and Buffy would work together. I admit that they
didn't plan you two falling in love, but even the Powers cannot control
everything. Some things are just meant to be. So stop fighting it. You have no
guilt in Anne's death, my friend, it was fate and Buffy will see that too."
"She doesn't even look at me," Angel said with a low voice.
"Well, she didn't have an opportunity to, I'd say," Whistler grinned. "As far
as I know you've been keeping a pretty low profile the last weeks. Maybe you
should go and see her, but you should feed and then take a shower, change your
clothes. I mean you don't smell, because vampires don't perspire, but still you
look like shit."
"You're certainly the fashion expert," Angel shot back.
"See, that's better. Get your spirit up. You have to face the fact that things
are as they are, that you can't change them. Take your slayer, fight with her,
take care of each other, survive and be happy. And now if you excuse me.
Conversations like these tire me out, I need a drink." He touched the vampire's
shoulder and squeezed it, "She loves you. I'm sure she'll come around."
As soon as the demon was gone Angel sank to the ground, his back pressed
against the headstone, his knees at his chest he felt empty and exhausted. The
fact that he hadn't taken care of himself took it's toll. There wasn't much
strength in him left. Could it be true, he thought? Would she, could she forgive
him - ever? Was there any way he could make her understand that he had tried
everything in his power to protect Anne?
God, he would be human. If they'd survive the last battle he would become human
and Buffy was alive. They could've had a future together, a real future. Even
with her memories he would've done everything to make her happy. Maybe it was
good after all, they were more even this way. She wasn't the 18 year old
teenager anymore although she had the body of one (not that this really mattered
to him), but she knew about loss, grief, death, she was much more experienced and so maybe a better partner for an over 300 year old ex-vampire like him. It would be like a dream come true. A dream he hadn't himself allowed to dream for a long time. It would also mean that he was forgiven, that he had redeemed himself. He could laugh again and not feel guilty. But it meant nothing without her.
If she couldn't forgive him nothing meant anything to him anymore. The Powers
might see him worthy to be human again, but Buffy hated him. What purpose was
there in living like that?
A noise startled him and slowly he raised his head. Expecting a demon he
wouldn't be able to fight a gasp escaped his mouth and his lips formed a name
almost inaudibly: "Buffy?"
End Chapter 15.