The graveyard was dark and silent. Buffy sat on one of the headstones and listened, but no sound was made. "Come on, Spike. Where'd you go?" she muttered. Buffy began to swing her legs. She used the time alone to reflect on what had happened in her life.
Riley was away in LA at a conference. Buffy supposed she should miss him, but was surprised to find that she didn't. Something had been missing in their relationship ever since the Adam fiasco. Riley was withdrawn and quiet. She could understand. He had lost his mentor, Professor Walsh, and one of his best friends, Forrest, to the ugly demon guy. Then, to make matters worse, he found out that he was never as strong, smart, or resourceful as he had once thought he was. Instead, those were "gifts" from the Initiative, fed to him in his food. If Buffy didn't know better, she would say Riley was jealous of her and her abilities. In fact, that's exactly what she would say. Riley was jealous. Of her. The past few weeks, she would catch Riley staring at her, longing in his eyes. But this wasn't longing for her or intimacy of any sort. This was ugly. It was jealousy.
What had happened between them? Buffy began to analyze her relationship with the military man. She cared for him but did she love him? No, she decided. She had been in love once. It had been wonderful and horrible at the same time. Love was exciting and dangerous. What she and Riley had was safe and comfortable. They had sex and silence. Nothing more, nothing less.
Buffy wanted something more, something greater than what she had with Riley. She wanted to be loved for who she was, exactly as she was. She didn't want to feel guilty because she was stronger than her partner. She never chose to be the Slayer, it chose her. But Buffy was learning to accept her fate, even embrace it. But the more she became comfortable with who she was, the greater the distance between her and Riley grew. Buffy wanted…no, she needed…someone else. Someone like Xander, maybe. Buffy thoughts slammed to a halt, wondering where that thought had come from. Xander was her friend. Sure, he knew all her deepest and darkest secrets, but he was still her friend. Buffy had to admit he was kind of cute with his chocolate-brown eyes and lopsided grin, but that's it. He was her friend. Besides, he probably could never feel that way about her again. Not after everything she had put him through over the years. But none of that mattered, she thought. Xander was…is…my friend. That's all he'ever be.
Buffy was so deep in thought; she didn't hear the vampire come up behind her, game face visible. He bared his teeth and leaned in for the kill.
"Ahhhh!" Spike screamed as pain shot through his skull. "Bloody hell!"
Startled, Buffy jumped down from the headstone. She swung around and plowed her fist into Spike's jaw. "Don't. . .try. . .to. . .bite. . .me!" She accented each word with a punch to his midsection. Buffy fumed at the vampire standing in front of her.
Spike rubbed his temple. "If it weren't for this bloody chip, you would've been a goner."
"Lucky me," the Slayer muttered. He was right and she knew it. She had been so busy thinking that she had dropped her guard. That was the sort of thing that could get her killed. "Did you find a punching bag?" she asked, changing the subject.
"No. . .well, sort of. . .no," Spike said. He seemed a bit uncomfortable under the Slayer's scrutiny. "But I will." He promised. "I'm hungry. Watcher got any food?"
"There might be a bag or two," Buffy said, disgusted at the thought. Ewww. "Come on, let's go."
The two of them walked off, side-by-side. There was a rustle in the distance, but Buffy wasn't paying any attention. Spike, however, glanced back over his shoulder. Seeing the figure in the shadows, he barely nodded his head in acknowledgment. Then he turned and followed the Slayer back to Giles.