IMPORTANT NOTE/Warning: This happens nine years in the future, assuming Dib was ten when Zim showed up. It involves cornyness and original characters, but I'm TRYING to make it as different as possible, mmmkay?

Disclaimer: Almost nothing in this fic belongs to me, basically, if you recognise it, it ain't mine. Kinza belongs to my bestest friend IRL. Vim, Pir, Nox, Iona, and Aileen all belong to ME. Steal them and we'll send you to Blorch. Everything/one else is copyright to the god that is Jhonen Vasquez. XD Enjoy reading about other people's characters! Read, review, be happy. One of my first fics, and my first Zim fic in general, so be nice. :)

Now that you've read all my little notes, read on!

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All the Purple Cats...and Their Misadventures
Chapter One: Tales of Times Past and IFPs.


A pale man wandered the empty night streets, a slight breeze blowing his long black hair away from his face. He knew this street well, he had walked down this sidewalk countless times as a child. He stopped at the entrance to the cul-de-sac, his gaze fixxed on the small, glowing house in the middle.

His hand unconsciously moved to the water pistol at his side, concealed by his long black coat. Most would wonder why he carried a water toy, rather than an actual weapon, but most did not know Zim. Zim...he had come to Earth nine years ago, when Dib was ten. He had shown up in his classroom, "disguised" as a human, though the costume was nothing but a black wig and lavender lenses, hiding his crimson eyes and long black antenna. Dib had been the only one who had seen through the guise, knowing that the viridian skin tone and lack of any ears or nose meant that Zim was not from this world, and his intent could never be good.

Further investigation had proved the pale boy right, that Zim had come to take Earth, though why he never knew. He also learned, not long after, that water itself was nearly lethal to the alien, and had been using this to his advantage ever since he found out. Slowly, over countless minutes, hours, days of investigation, he learned how to enter the odd house without tripping the alarms that were rigged everywhere. He had given up on photographs when he began losing valuable photographic equipment. He kept up his small attacks, delaying the takeover, and though he knew Zim had found out enough to take the planet by now, he never had.

Meanwhile, inside the house...

The alien was oblivios to Dib's approach, and the small green dog on the couch was oblivious to most things, lost in the colorful universe of the television screen. Gir never followed the plotlines of any but the simplest of cartoons, but he watched anyway, enjoying the colors, movement, and sounds. Zim shook his head, used to the incompetence of the robot. He had doubted its "advanced" technology since it was first issued to him, but he wasn't in the place to complain.

He had been the very shortest in a race ranked by height, but the abundance of carbon on Earth had caused a dramatic increase in his height, so he appeared nineteen as a human, though he was, in reality, over thirty. this had raised his status dramatically, though he was the only one that knew about it. He had outgrown his original invader uniform and began wearing human clothes. He found clothes similar to his uniform, and usually wore that. He had also changed his wig, so it seemed as if he had an intrest in how his hair looked.

He continued his investigations of Earth, though he had long ago found enough secrets about the planet for a successful. Human missiles were formidable, but generally nothing a well-built shield couldn't handle. He had also learned that there was so much diversity in the humans that they may as well be several different races living on one planet, and that they had no central leader, rather several, some that acted as a council, each serving to the intrest of his own country.

He had sent this information back to his leaders, maybe two years ago. The armada should have arrived and taken Earth a long time ago, and Zim's reports had become few as the Tallest continued to make it clear that Earth was of little intrest to them.

Zim sighed, then looked at the little robot-disguised-dog on the couch.

"Gir. I'm going to my lab. Don't disturb me," Zim ordered; Gir made a chirping noise as a response. Zim entered the kitchen, opening the refrigerator. The garbage can and toilet lab entrances had long since become too small, and he had had them removed. in their place, he had installed an entrance through the fridge.

He shivered at the sudden cold, then stepped inside. He pressed a panel on the back wall, and the fridge slid open, revealing a large tube. Zim slid in, feetfirst, and slid down in the darkness. He never noticed the black-clad figure entering through the many wires in the celing.


Dib watched Zim enter the kitchen. He had kept tabs on the entrances to Zim's lab, so he knew the way was through the refrigerator. He hung upside-down from the wires on the celing, his trenchcoat pulled over his belly to keep it from dangling. He began to crawl forward, when he heard a soft creaking noise.

i"Damn,"/i he thought. i"I'm getting too big for this..."/i He slowly moved forward, little by little easing his weight on the pipes. He placed his hand forward, reaching for the next large wire. The one he was hanging from creaked loudly, then snapped, sending Dib crashing loudly to the floor.

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You like? You no like? R&R, PLEASE! Should I continue? Tell me! Praise/criticism/flames all welcome, flames laughed at! :P

AND, now that you've read the chapter...
IFP=Identified Falling Paranormalists. :P