"How do I look?" Nessa asked Denise as they reached the door of the frat house that was playing host to the wild gathering. Denise checked her over, sizing up her choice of apparel. Nessa sported a white, midriff-baring T-shirt and a pair of flared khakis. Her curly black hair was pulled up into in an unruly ponytail, a few stray strands hanging in her face. A subtle layer of deep purple eye shadow accented her dark brown eyes. She looked preppy, but with a definite party edge. That was exactly what Denise told her.
"How about me? Am I up to your standards?" she asked sarcastically. Nessa glanced appraisingly at Denise's form-fitting, black zip-up sweater and jeans.
"Well, you could be showing a little skin or some cleavage or something…" she said.
Denise rolled her eyes.
"…but you look really nice."
"Thanks."
Nessa grinned.
"Ready to go in?" she asked.
"I guess so."
"Great. Come on."
She opened the door, and the two girls walked inside. Almost immediately they were swept into the massive, sweaty crowd that overflowed the room.
Whoa, Denise thought. Sensory overload.
There were people all over the poorly lit dorm, dancing, drinking, talking, and making out. The walls were throbbing with the deep techno-rave music that regulated the pulse of the party. Bitter smelling cigarette smoke mixed dizzily with the contrastingly sweet smelling smoke of marijuana, leaving Denise feeling slightly nauseated.
Aside from the main room, there was an area she guessed to be the kitchen, but the plastic cups and beer bottles that littered the counters and floor pretty much made it unrecognizable. There were a few doors toward the back, probably bedrooms and a bathroom, that were no doubt being used as hook-up rooms that night. A small staircase was also located in the back of the dorm that led to the second floor, on which there were another two bedrooms and a bathroom.
Whoever lives here's got it good, Denise thought, picturing the one-bedroom, one-bathroom, often-cluttered dorm she shared with Nessa.
"Denise!" Nessa shouted over the din of the partiers. "Let's get something to drink!"
Denise shook her head.
"It's okay. I'm not much of a drinker."
"It's just beer! Having one won't do that much to you!"
Denise rolled her eyes, but didn't protest as Nessa took her by the arm and led her over to the keg. Two guys sat on the counter next to it, talking loudly and downing huge gulps of alcohol. They interrupted their drunken conversation when they saw Nessa and Denise approaching and gave a wolf whistle.
"Nessa Palmer!" shouted the tall, dark-haired one. "You get hotter every time I see you!"
Nessa laughed flirtily and gave him a hug.
"Hey Eric," she said. "You're not so bad yourself!"
She turned to the shorter, red-haired guy.
"Keith. How's it hanging?"
"Long and strong," he grinned.
Denise groaned inwardly at Keith's obnoxious reply. That was such a stereotypically male thing to say.
"Nessa," Eric said, eyeing Denise. "Aren't you gonna introduce us to your friend?"
"Oh yeah, sorry. Guys, this is my roommate, Denise Fleming."
"Hey Denise," they said.
"Hey," she replied, giving them a small nod.
"How come we haven't seen you around before?" Keith asked. Denise smiled.
"Um, I'm in your Medieval Lit class." She laughed sardonically to herself as Keith squinted at her, trying to figure out who she was. Just like high school. Anonymous.
"Sorry," he said. "I must be more wasted than I thought, cuz I don't recognize you."
"Not a problem," she told him. "Most people don't."
Keith started to say something else, but Nessa interrupted him.
"Here's your drink, Denise." She handed her a translucent orange cup. It was filled to the brim with frothing cold liquid. Denise gave her a drippingly sweet smile.
"Gee, thanks so much, Nessa."
Nessa shot her a look before turning back to Eric and Keith and saying "Well guys, it was nice talking to you, but we gotta go, ya know, mingle."
"See ya," Eric called as Nessa and Denise turned and walked away.
"They seem like quite the intellectuals," Denise commented, taking a sip of her drink. Nessa jabbed her in the ribs.
"Must you always be so sarcastic? Eric and Keith are great guys. They're just kicking back tonight. They're partying."
"Um, whatever." Denise took another sip of her drink, wrinkling her nose at the acidic feeling that took over her mouth and throat. "By the way Nessa, this stuff doesn't taste like beer," she said, peering into her cup.
"What's wrong with it?"
"I dunno. It tastes stronger. And it burns more when I swallow it."
"That's probably because you don't drink that often," Nessa offered quickly. "You're not used to it. Just finish this one and the next one won't be so bad." She drained the rest of her beer, grabbed another from a guy standing nearby, and downed half of that one in a single gulp.
"Impressive," Denise said with a disgusted look. "That's quite a talent." Nessa gave a sigh of frustration at her sharp comments.
"Look, I'm trying to help here. I don't like it that you're always alone, it worries me. I want you to have fun and meet new people, but if you don't want to then I can't make you."
Denise was surprised by Nessa's sincerity, and more than a little touched by her concern.
"I appreciate the effort," she said. "But I'm okay, really. Go and find some gorgeous guy to dance with. I'll just hang out. Blend in. Do my usual thing."
"Really? You don't mind?"
"Like I could stop you if I did."
Nessa smiled. "Okay. But if you decide to go back to our room, just come find me first."
"Sure," Denise said. "Good luck."
Nessa waved then disappeared into the crowd, leaving Denise standing awkwardly next to a couch occupied by an oblivious couple. She looked around self-consciously for a minute, trying to see if she recognized any of the other party-goers. But then she realized that none of the people she was friends with at NYU were the type of people to attend something like this.
Then again, I'm not either, she thought. She winced as a girl with vomit all down the front of her ran by. Maybe I should just leave.
Denise began making her way through the crowd in search of Nessa, finishing the last of her beer with a few nervous gulps. She coughed as the alcohol flared up in her throat, and tossed the empty cup to the floor. A wave of dizziness swept over her as she peered through the hot, tightly packed throng of people.
Oh God, I gotta get some fresh air before I puke.
She took a deep breath to calm her stomach, then turned around and headed toward the door. She'd barely gotten three steps when she was suddenly slammed into by one of the partiers.
"Watch where you're going!" she spat, glaring at the back of her offender's head. He turned around and looked down at her.
"Sorry! It was an accid--" he apologized, stopping short. A look of disbelief passed over his face. "Denise? Denise Fleming?"
"Yeah?" she asked, caught off guard by the recognition in his voice. Who the hell knows my name here? She stared at him, taking in his features. Tall. Skinny. Slightly tanned skin. Dusty brown hair in mushroom cut style. Deep coffee-colored eyes. Oh. My. God. "Um, hi Josh."
Josh Briggs. Denise's first and only attempt at a high school relationship.
Denise met Josh junior year in science class when they were both assigned to the same lab table. They didn't talk much at first, but after they got to know each other Denise found that she was incredibly attracted to him. Besides being very good-looking, Josh was smarter than most guys his age and had a very dry sense of humor. His blasé attitude toward popularity and conformity was one that Denise could totally relate to. He made her feel completely at ease, something not many people had the power to do. He was different, and she liked that.
Their friendship quickly blossomed and thrived, but the school year came and went without any romance between the two of them. Although she was a little disappointed, Denise wasn't surprised that things hadn't worked out. She figured that she wasn't the type to get involved anyway. She was surprised, though, when she got a call from Josh in the middle of July asking her to go on a date. She accepted without hesitation, and they met at a small cafe later that evening.
Following suite of a typical high school date, Denise and Josh began with an informal dinner, washed it down with a make out sesh at a movie, and finished up in the backseat of his car.
The first half of the date was perfect. Dinner and a movie-- albeit an unwatched one-- are always great to get the ball rolling on a first date. The second half, however, was a big mistake on their part. Losing your virginity to someone the first time you go out with him isn't exactly a relationship clincher. It just makes things weird. Josh and Denise didn't speak as they got dressed, nor did they exchange any words on the drive home. The goodnight kiss was quick and dry, and she didn't watch after him as he drove away. All she could do was think, So that's sex. He didn't tell her he would call, and he kept his promise. The next time she saw him was on the first day of school, walking down the hall with some preppy sweater job hanging off his arm. Figures, she'd thought, and banished the memory of that night to the deepest corner of her mind.
But as she stood there in the middle of the party, staring in disbelief at the person before her, she felt the events of that night start to creep slowly out of their exile. An uncomfortable sensation shot through her. Silence dominated the space between them until Josh asked, "What are you doing here?"
"I go to school here," Denise replied, giving him a look that clearly said 'duh'. Josh smiled sarcastically.
"Obviously. I meant what are you doing at a party."
"Oh." She felt her cheeks grow warm. "My roommate dragged me here. Nessa Palmer. Do you know her?"
"Sort of. I've seen her around at other parties."
"Oh." More silence.
"So… do you wanna dance?"
"Not really," Denise said.
"Me either." They laughed awkwardly. "Whaddaya say we get a drink instead and find somewhere private where we can…talk."
Somewhere deep inside Denise, an alarm bell went off. But because of her alcohol-induced ignorance she couldn't hear it, and therefore did not object as Josh handed her a beer and led her out onto the small back porch of the frat house. They sat down on the wicker loveseat, each sipping habitually on their drink.
"So, it's been awhile," Josh said.
"Yeah."
"Like, over a year."
"I know."
"What have you been up to?"
Denise shrugged. "The usual. Nothing."
"I see."
"You?"
"The same."
"Oh."
It was painfully obvious that their conversation was getting nowhere. Before either of them could prevent it, idle chitchat ensued.
"So… do you know what you want to major in?" Denise inquired.
"Political science. But I'll probably change my mind a million times before I actually declare one. How about you?"
"English, probably."
"That's cool."
"Yeah." Denise glanced quickly down at her drink and was shocked to find that her cup was empty. Whoa, she thought. How did that happen?
"Um, Denise?" Josh asked.
"What?"
"Are you… seeing anyone right now?" Denise held up her right hand and pointed to the ring she wore on her little finger. "You're married?"
She giggled. "You're such a smart ass."
Josh laughed too. "No, seriously, are you with someone?"
She nodded. "Seriously, I'm serious with someone."
"Who?"
"That's not really any of your--"
"Kenny Fisher?" Josh interjected. An expression of shock made itself present on Denise's face.
"Yeah. How did you know?"
"I saw you guys together at a club once."
"Oh." She glanced away, uncomfortable with the topic of conversation.
"I was really surprised," Josh continued. Denise looked at him suspiciously.
"Why?"
He shrugged. "I just never thought you'd go for a guy like him." Denise closed her eyes and shook her head.
"Josh, you don't know me that well anymore. How could think you know what type of guys I go for?"
He shrugged again. "I dunno. It was just a feeling I had. I mean, he's a lot different than me."
Denise narrowed her eyes. "Why would you think I'd only go for guys like you?"
"Because I was your first. And old habits die hard."
She laughed. "Old habits? Josh, we had a fling in your car once and then we never talked again. That hardly qualifies as a habit."
"Well, either way..." He grimaced and let his voice trail off.
"Either way what?"
He looked down. "Nothing."
"No, what?"
"Just never mind."
"No, tell me."
"Well... I just always wondered... what happened? Like, why did it get so weird with us?"
Denise fidgeted with her cup. "I dunno," she answered.
"Was it... you know..." He stared at her provocatively. She shifted nervously under his gaze.
"I don't know," she repeated.
"I mean, it wasn't bad for you or anything, was it?" Josh pressed. Denise let out a long breath.
"Look, I don't really think we should be talking about this," she told him.
"Okay," he said. "We don't have to talk. We can do this instead." He leaned forward and kissed her lips, trying to get her to open her mouth. She pulled back before he could make it any further.
"Josh!" she exclaimed. "What the hell are you--"
He ignored her protests and kissed her again, this time using his tongue. She tried to struggle against him, but only momentarily. As she realized that she was enjoying the affection, Denise allowed herself to relax and close her eyes. And after a minute or two, she wrapped her arms around his neck and began returning his kisses. I guess I missed this more than I thought.
Denise had to admit that Josh was a better kisser than Kenny. Kenny had come quite a long way from the eager, boyish kisses he'd given Denise when they'd first gotten together, but that hint of inexperience still remained in his technique. Josh, however, had an extremely refined technique. He was calculated without being mechanical, wet without being sloppy. He was intricate.
Denise let her mind wander as she and Josh sank deeper into their passion. Her head was spinning with a million giddy thoughts, her vision swimming with a million bright colors. Her body jerked with nerves as he put his hands on her legs and moved them up and around to her back and shoulders. She caressed his face lightly with her fingers, giving a sigh of delight. It feels so nice, she thought. I wonder if we're gonna...
The minutes ticked by and their making out grew more and more intense. Josh's hands were all over her, running through her hair, down the back of her neck, over her stomach. Denise knew that what he was doing should have added to her pleasure, but for some reason it turned her off. His hands felt greedy and taking instead of gentle and giving like Kenny's. They played without caution over her chest, toying with the zipper on her sweater, pulling at her collar. She made no move to stop it, though, until he started to take her top off. The cold night air leaked into her half-open shirt, shocking a moment of sobriety into her.
Jesus Christ! What the hell am I doing?!?!?
"Josh, stop it," Denise said, pulling away from his lips.
He gave her a confused look. "What's the problem?"
"Just stop it."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to do this anymore."
"Yes you do."
"No, I don't! We're drunk. This isn't right."
He kissed her deeply. "Yes it is."
She pushed him away. "Get off of me! Now!"
Josh leaned back a little, but kept his hold on her body. He smiled coolly and asked, "What? You don't think I can give it to you better than Whitey Fisher?" He gave a barking laugh and attempted to press his lips back up against hers, but she shoved him off. Anger bubbled like lava in her chest, exploding into a burning fury. He tried to kiss her a second time and she hit him square across the face.
"OW!" he exclaimed, recoiling in pain. "You bitch! What the hell was that for?"
"I told you to get the fuck off of me! Now let me go or I'll do it again!"
A look of rage passed across Josh's face, and for a second Denise thought that he was going to hit her. But instead he let go of her, throwing her onto her feet. She zipped her shirt back up and stepped off the porch into the surrounding yard. As she started quickly on her way back to her dorm, she heard Josh call after her, "You're gonna regret this, baby!"
I already do, she thought. I regret this whole Goddamned night.
"How about me? Am I up to your standards?" she asked sarcastically. Nessa glanced appraisingly at Denise's form-fitting, black zip-up sweater and jeans.
"Well, you could be showing a little skin or some cleavage or something…" she said.
Denise rolled her eyes.
"…but you look really nice."
"Thanks."
Nessa grinned.
"Ready to go in?" she asked.
"I guess so."
"Great. Come on."
She opened the door, and the two girls walked inside. Almost immediately they were swept into the massive, sweaty crowd that overflowed the room.
Whoa, Denise thought. Sensory overload.
There were people all over the poorly lit dorm, dancing, drinking, talking, and making out. The walls were throbbing with the deep techno-rave music that regulated the pulse of the party. Bitter smelling cigarette smoke mixed dizzily with the contrastingly sweet smelling smoke of marijuana, leaving Denise feeling slightly nauseated.
Aside from the main room, there was an area she guessed to be the kitchen, but the plastic cups and beer bottles that littered the counters and floor pretty much made it unrecognizable. There were a few doors toward the back, probably bedrooms and a bathroom, that were no doubt being used as hook-up rooms that night. A small staircase was also located in the back of the dorm that led to the second floor, on which there were another two bedrooms and a bathroom.
Whoever lives here's got it good, Denise thought, picturing the one-bedroom, one-bathroom, often-cluttered dorm she shared with Nessa.
"Denise!" Nessa shouted over the din of the partiers. "Let's get something to drink!"
Denise shook her head.
"It's okay. I'm not much of a drinker."
"It's just beer! Having one won't do that much to you!"
Denise rolled her eyes, but didn't protest as Nessa took her by the arm and led her over to the keg. Two guys sat on the counter next to it, talking loudly and downing huge gulps of alcohol. They interrupted their drunken conversation when they saw Nessa and Denise approaching and gave a wolf whistle.
"Nessa Palmer!" shouted the tall, dark-haired one. "You get hotter every time I see you!"
Nessa laughed flirtily and gave him a hug.
"Hey Eric," she said. "You're not so bad yourself!"
She turned to the shorter, red-haired guy.
"Keith. How's it hanging?"
"Long and strong," he grinned.
Denise groaned inwardly at Keith's obnoxious reply. That was such a stereotypically male thing to say.
"Nessa," Eric said, eyeing Denise. "Aren't you gonna introduce us to your friend?"
"Oh yeah, sorry. Guys, this is my roommate, Denise Fleming."
"Hey Denise," they said.
"Hey," she replied, giving them a small nod.
"How come we haven't seen you around before?" Keith asked. Denise smiled.
"Um, I'm in your Medieval Lit class." She laughed sardonically to herself as Keith squinted at her, trying to figure out who she was. Just like high school. Anonymous.
"Sorry," he said. "I must be more wasted than I thought, cuz I don't recognize you."
"Not a problem," she told him. "Most people don't."
Keith started to say something else, but Nessa interrupted him.
"Here's your drink, Denise." She handed her a translucent orange cup. It was filled to the brim with frothing cold liquid. Denise gave her a drippingly sweet smile.
"Gee, thanks so much, Nessa."
Nessa shot her a look before turning back to Eric and Keith and saying "Well guys, it was nice talking to you, but we gotta go, ya know, mingle."
"See ya," Eric called as Nessa and Denise turned and walked away.
"They seem like quite the intellectuals," Denise commented, taking a sip of her drink. Nessa jabbed her in the ribs.
"Must you always be so sarcastic? Eric and Keith are great guys. They're just kicking back tonight. They're partying."
"Um, whatever." Denise took another sip of her drink, wrinkling her nose at the acidic feeling that took over her mouth and throat. "By the way Nessa, this stuff doesn't taste like beer," she said, peering into her cup.
"What's wrong with it?"
"I dunno. It tastes stronger. And it burns more when I swallow it."
"That's probably because you don't drink that often," Nessa offered quickly. "You're not used to it. Just finish this one and the next one won't be so bad." She drained the rest of her beer, grabbed another from a guy standing nearby, and downed half of that one in a single gulp.
"Impressive," Denise said with a disgusted look. "That's quite a talent." Nessa gave a sigh of frustration at her sharp comments.
"Look, I'm trying to help here. I don't like it that you're always alone, it worries me. I want you to have fun and meet new people, but if you don't want to then I can't make you."
Denise was surprised by Nessa's sincerity, and more than a little touched by her concern.
"I appreciate the effort," she said. "But I'm okay, really. Go and find some gorgeous guy to dance with. I'll just hang out. Blend in. Do my usual thing."
"Really? You don't mind?"
"Like I could stop you if I did."
Nessa smiled. "Okay. But if you decide to go back to our room, just come find me first."
"Sure," Denise said. "Good luck."
Nessa waved then disappeared into the crowd, leaving Denise standing awkwardly next to a couch occupied by an oblivious couple. She looked around self-consciously for a minute, trying to see if she recognized any of the other party-goers. But then she realized that none of the people she was friends with at NYU were the type of people to attend something like this.
Then again, I'm not either, she thought. She winced as a girl with vomit all down the front of her ran by. Maybe I should just leave.
Denise began making her way through the crowd in search of Nessa, finishing the last of her beer with a few nervous gulps. She coughed as the alcohol flared up in her throat, and tossed the empty cup to the floor. A wave of dizziness swept over her as she peered through the hot, tightly packed throng of people.
Oh God, I gotta get some fresh air before I puke.
She took a deep breath to calm her stomach, then turned around and headed toward the door. She'd barely gotten three steps when she was suddenly slammed into by one of the partiers.
"Watch where you're going!" she spat, glaring at the back of her offender's head. He turned around and looked down at her.
"Sorry! It was an accid--" he apologized, stopping short. A look of disbelief passed over his face. "Denise? Denise Fleming?"
"Yeah?" she asked, caught off guard by the recognition in his voice. Who the hell knows my name here? She stared at him, taking in his features. Tall. Skinny. Slightly tanned skin. Dusty brown hair in mushroom cut style. Deep coffee-colored eyes. Oh. My. God. "Um, hi Josh."
Josh Briggs. Denise's first and only attempt at a high school relationship.
Denise met Josh junior year in science class when they were both assigned to the same lab table. They didn't talk much at first, but after they got to know each other Denise found that she was incredibly attracted to him. Besides being very good-looking, Josh was smarter than most guys his age and had a very dry sense of humor. His blasé attitude toward popularity and conformity was one that Denise could totally relate to. He made her feel completely at ease, something not many people had the power to do. He was different, and she liked that.
Their friendship quickly blossomed and thrived, but the school year came and went without any romance between the two of them. Although she was a little disappointed, Denise wasn't surprised that things hadn't worked out. She figured that she wasn't the type to get involved anyway. She was surprised, though, when she got a call from Josh in the middle of July asking her to go on a date. She accepted without hesitation, and they met at a small cafe later that evening.
Following suite of a typical high school date, Denise and Josh began with an informal dinner, washed it down with a make out sesh at a movie, and finished up in the backseat of his car.
The first half of the date was perfect. Dinner and a movie-- albeit an unwatched one-- are always great to get the ball rolling on a first date. The second half, however, was a big mistake on their part. Losing your virginity to someone the first time you go out with him isn't exactly a relationship clincher. It just makes things weird. Josh and Denise didn't speak as they got dressed, nor did they exchange any words on the drive home. The goodnight kiss was quick and dry, and she didn't watch after him as he drove away. All she could do was think, So that's sex. He didn't tell her he would call, and he kept his promise. The next time she saw him was on the first day of school, walking down the hall with some preppy sweater job hanging off his arm. Figures, she'd thought, and banished the memory of that night to the deepest corner of her mind.
But as she stood there in the middle of the party, staring in disbelief at the person before her, she felt the events of that night start to creep slowly out of their exile. An uncomfortable sensation shot through her. Silence dominated the space between them until Josh asked, "What are you doing here?"
"I go to school here," Denise replied, giving him a look that clearly said 'duh'. Josh smiled sarcastically.
"Obviously. I meant what are you doing at a party."
"Oh." She felt her cheeks grow warm. "My roommate dragged me here. Nessa Palmer. Do you know her?"
"Sort of. I've seen her around at other parties."
"Oh." More silence.
"So… do you wanna dance?"
"Not really," Denise said.
"Me either." They laughed awkwardly. "Whaddaya say we get a drink instead and find somewhere private where we can…talk."
Somewhere deep inside Denise, an alarm bell went off. But because of her alcohol-induced ignorance she couldn't hear it, and therefore did not object as Josh handed her a beer and led her out onto the small back porch of the frat house. They sat down on the wicker loveseat, each sipping habitually on their drink.
"So, it's been awhile," Josh said.
"Yeah."
"Like, over a year."
"I know."
"What have you been up to?"
Denise shrugged. "The usual. Nothing."
"I see."
"You?"
"The same."
"Oh."
It was painfully obvious that their conversation was getting nowhere. Before either of them could prevent it, idle chitchat ensued.
"So… do you know what you want to major in?" Denise inquired.
"Political science. But I'll probably change my mind a million times before I actually declare one. How about you?"
"English, probably."
"That's cool."
"Yeah." Denise glanced quickly down at her drink and was shocked to find that her cup was empty. Whoa, she thought. How did that happen?
"Um, Denise?" Josh asked.
"What?"
"Are you… seeing anyone right now?" Denise held up her right hand and pointed to the ring she wore on her little finger. "You're married?"
She giggled. "You're such a smart ass."
Josh laughed too. "No, seriously, are you with someone?"
She nodded. "Seriously, I'm serious with someone."
"Who?"
"That's not really any of your--"
"Kenny Fisher?" Josh interjected. An expression of shock made itself present on Denise's face.
"Yeah. How did you know?"
"I saw you guys together at a club once."
"Oh." She glanced away, uncomfortable with the topic of conversation.
"I was really surprised," Josh continued. Denise looked at him suspiciously.
"Why?"
He shrugged. "I just never thought you'd go for a guy like him." Denise closed her eyes and shook her head.
"Josh, you don't know me that well anymore. How could think you know what type of guys I go for?"
He shrugged again. "I dunno. It was just a feeling I had. I mean, he's a lot different than me."
Denise narrowed her eyes. "Why would you think I'd only go for guys like you?"
"Because I was your first. And old habits die hard."
She laughed. "Old habits? Josh, we had a fling in your car once and then we never talked again. That hardly qualifies as a habit."
"Well, either way..." He grimaced and let his voice trail off.
"Either way what?"
He looked down. "Nothing."
"No, what?"
"Just never mind."
"No, tell me."
"Well... I just always wondered... what happened? Like, why did it get so weird with us?"
Denise fidgeted with her cup. "I dunno," she answered.
"Was it... you know..." He stared at her provocatively. She shifted nervously under his gaze.
"I don't know," she repeated.
"I mean, it wasn't bad for you or anything, was it?" Josh pressed. Denise let out a long breath.
"Look, I don't really think we should be talking about this," she told him.
"Okay," he said. "We don't have to talk. We can do this instead." He leaned forward and kissed her lips, trying to get her to open her mouth. She pulled back before he could make it any further.
"Josh!" she exclaimed. "What the hell are you--"
He ignored her protests and kissed her again, this time using his tongue. She tried to struggle against him, but only momentarily. As she realized that she was enjoying the affection, Denise allowed herself to relax and close her eyes. And after a minute or two, she wrapped her arms around his neck and began returning his kisses. I guess I missed this more than I thought.
Denise had to admit that Josh was a better kisser than Kenny. Kenny had come quite a long way from the eager, boyish kisses he'd given Denise when they'd first gotten together, but that hint of inexperience still remained in his technique. Josh, however, had an extremely refined technique. He was calculated without being mechanical, wet without being sloppy. He was intricate.
Denise let her mind wander as she and Josh sank deeper into their passion. Her head was spinning with a million giddy thoughts, her vision swimming with a million bright colors. Her body jerked with nerves as he put his hands on her legs and moved them up and around to her back and shoulders. She caressed his face lightly with her fingers, giving a sigh of delight. It feels so nice, she thought. I wonder if we're gonna...
The minutes ticked by and their making out grew more and more intense. Josh's hands were all over her, running through her hair, down the back of her neck, over her stomach. Denise knew that what he was doing should have added to her pleasure, but for some reason it turned her off. His hands felt greedy and taking instead of gentle and giving like Kenny's. They played without caution over her chest, toying with the zipper on her sweater, pulling at her collar. She made no move to stop it, though, until he started to take her top off. The cold night air leaked into her half-open shirt, shocking a moment of sobriety into her.
Jesus Christ! What the hell am I doing?!?!?
"Josh, stop it," Denise said, pulling away from his lips.
He gave her a confused look. "What's the problem?"
"Just stop it."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to do this anymore."
"Yes you do."
"No, I don't! We're drunk. This isn't right."
He kissed her deeply. "Yes it is."
She pushed him away. "Get off of me! Now!"
Josh leaned back a little, but kept his hold on her body. He smiled coolly and asked, "What? You don't think I can give it to you better than Whitey Fisher?" He gave a barking laugh and attempted to press his lips back up against hers, but she shoved him off. Anger bubbled like lava in her chest, exploding into a burning fury. He tried to kiss her a second time and she hit him square across the face.
"OW!" he exclaimed, recoiling in pain. "You bitch! What the hell was that for?"
"I told you to get the fuck off of me! Now let me go or I'll do it again!"
A look of rage passed across Josh's face, and for a second Denise thought that he was going to hit her. But instead he let go of her, throwing her onto her feet. She zipped her shirt back up and stepped off the porch into the surrounding yard. As she started quickly on her way back to her dorm, she heard Josh call after her, "You're gonna regret this, baby!"
I already do, she thought. I regret this whole Goddamned night.